HEYYYS!
I'm flabbergasted. Totally and utterly flabbergasted by the amount of reviews. 816? How the hell did this happen huh? I set way too high hopes last chapter at possibly reaching 800, and then BOOM suddenly there's flipping 816 reviews?! You reviewers out there are freaking awesome! :) Hehe. Yeah, Lucie DOES need an award for the-most-times-the-main-character-passes-out. Many, many people suspected that Alice's vision was of Bella and Jake in (to use - what I think was a very apt - phrase, that was in a review) … an awkward situation. Do you really think I'm that predicable? Hmmm? HMM?! (*sniff* I feel offended…) Well, in regards to that, this chapter may be a bit of a shock. :p
Ach. Reviews! ;) seriously! I feel like an idiot. I can't stop smiling… :) And, I've had a mention in SouthernBelle09's awesomely creepy fic, which made me smile even more. However, I do have some other news. If anyone sent me a PM that wasn't answered, or didn't get a review reply, well, lo behold, I have a reason! *snickers.* LO BEHOLD!
*cue the dirge.. Now!*
Hedgehog is sick people. He has a virus! (Yes, I decided that my laptop was a male. I think it's the whole moody bit… and Edward's always switching in this from being moody to sweet, to just…. I'll stop talking about him.) But he's (and this is in reference to Hedgehog) not even moody now. He's poorly! The stupid virus has basically made typing up this chapter hell… because very few minutes hedgehog would decide to just spontaneously hibernate. I was sitting there going:
"WhatareyouDOING?!" and then a little message would pop up saying: 'you have put the laptop into hibernate mode.' To which I responded to by muttering furiously at it and stating that I had not put it into hibernate mode and that it was lying…LYING I tell you! (at this point I was unaware of the virus) and… yeah. *grunt* Luckily no family members witnessed my grumblings. They'd have been pretty shocked - well actually, they're probably used to it by now - if they'd interrupted me mid rant saying to my laptop: 'Hedgehog this is ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous! Work goddammit!'
;( I couldn't update because of that. Sorry… I' still upset. I don't like Hedgehog being sick. Fanfiction takes years to load up. And this is almost certainly riddled with errors. Anyway, when I did the Norton Anti Virus Scan… it located 19 tracking cookies. (Mhhmm my reaction was somewhere along the lines of: What? Cookies? Yes. Hedgehog has been eating COOKIES (tracking cookies… menacing huh?… See I've heard of Browser Cookies - though admittedly I still have no clue as to what they actually are - but tracking cookies?) and as a consequence, he is very sick. Me thinks there is a moral in this tale. A horrible moral that highlights the downsides of the almighty cookie :p
I have abolished the nasty tracking cookies. However several things continue to pop up on fanfiction claiming it to be teeming with malicious viruses. (I've decided to ignore these and post anywho) I think Hedgehog is officially losing the plot. Now, I'm going to shut up on the ranting bit. (Well, until the bottom of this chapter that is. I apologise in advance :s) This A/N is stupidly long.. Sorry sorry sorry!
Now, this chapter should be dedicated to numerous reviewers that made my day, but I'm scared if I don't post this quick enough Hedgehog's going to sort of implode with all these alleged viruses. So basically, if you reviewed THANK YOU! I don't deserve it, *smacks head: youarenotsupposedtotellthemthat!* but… *gushes* thanksomuchanyway!
One more thing before I let you read in peace. I hate exams. I have one coming up soon actually, a Biology one that accounts for my GCSE (why, why, why am I doing these stupid things a year early?!) but I would like to say, on the behalf of anyone who takes exams: that they. SUCK. And on that subject, Jade Lyssy Swan (who is, as I've probably stated in the past, but what the frog, I'll say it again :p) FANTABULOUS, and she has had FAR too many exams recently…that are still going on! I advise you all to go and read 'Rosa' her awesome story and review it like crazy :P
Well, after you've read *cough and reviewed cough* this of course ;)
Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter. Sorry sorry for stupidly rambly long A/Ns that I know waste your precious time. But hey, all the same, again, hope you like the chapter Hedgehog made it very difficult to write. Oh, and the whole couscous incident didn't exactly stimulate me with ideas for this chappy either Hmms? Couscous? (Oh… You'll find out about that, *well, if you can stand the A/N at the bottom* I assure you.)
*shutting up… temporarily*
What Happened Last Chapter:
He stared at me - his golden eyes blazing and boring into mine - the ray of sunlight against the turbulent indigo of the night sky, devoid of stars.
Gently, slowly, he raised one perfectly sculpted hand to cup my numb cheek, softly caressing the rapidly blushing skin there as if it was satin. His gaze never left mine and my breathing hitched involuntarily at the icy cold touch that radiated an impossible heat for me. The numb had sensation had been eradicated. My skin was ablaze in an electrical flame.
The temperature matched the colour of his eyes, smouldering with an inexplicable ardency I'd never seen before. The most brilliant shade of gold.
His lips mouthed quiet words, they reached me; a muted velvet. Quiet in comparison to the rate of the frenzied blood pounding in my ears.
"I'm making you forget."
And then, he kissed me.
***
The Inexplicable Infatuation.
Edward's POV: (umm… just after Edward went all crazy and ran out of the Cullens' house :p)
Rage was one emotion I'd grown quite accustomed to recently.
The aftermath of Alice's vision was still burning me as I ran, swiftly, not caring for objects as I ran towards her. I had to reach her at all costs; the yearning had been eating away constantly today; worse than yesterday. I had to see her. This thought had me running faster; sheer determination powered my athletic strides, only one part of me screaming to stop.
It shouldn't have been this difficult to run to Bella.
That was one fact I was certain of, the yearning to see her was still as prominent as ever, it had been so since she' first been pulled out my sight. Normally, this sort of situation would lead to great levels of angst on my part. I didn't fare well without Bella in the past.
Normally. The thought was like a slap. True - normally that was the case. Normally, the instant I was parted for Bella I would suffer. Normally.
But not now. Now part of me regretted my rash decision to leave. My impulsive actions that I could normally rely on now seemed rash. Her face burned behind my eyelids, momentarily obscuring my hectic thoughts. My pace came to a halt when my thoughts reached her. A girl devoid of brunette hair and brown eyes was now in my thoughts. Instead, a girl looking at me with wide incredulous, hazel-green eyes, scared by the events crashing around her. By the turmoil that seemed to follow where ever she tread.
Lucie.
It was utterly absurd. A paradox that I was constantly stuck in. Questions presented themselves the instant I thought of her, and I couldn't answer any of them. Irritation swelled inside me. Why was her face in my mind? Why did I feel guilt as I had shouted at her? Why was she having this effect on me?
The last question was the one I truly wanted the answer to. I couldn't comprehend my emotions when I was around her. I couldn't trust them anymore. Jasper's thoughts rang in my ears. You're living in denial. I felt a growl surpass me, the anger surging powerfully again. I regained my previous speed with more urgency than before now, the terrain beneath was constantly switching from concrete to earth, grass to rock. I was moving too fast to distinguish them now. Anger was a power that fuelled me in this respect.
He didn't know. Jasper couldn't just tell me how I felt. No one could. Alice was the next person that came to mind; her words had more effect than Jasper's. I'd come to trust Alice's instincts more than I was willing to admit because of her gift revolving around the future.
Still, despite the fact that her words affected me. It wasn't in a good way. Merely a rueful exception of the truth. You're in too deep. On that account I couldn't argue, the human girl was already too involved us. Just like Bella had been, just like she still was.
Alice. Her name brought up other issues, burning ones that had to be resolved. Bella's face, white and terrified washed over me again. Standing awkwardly and unstable as the man approached her, to afraid to scream… Alice's vision burned in my mind as I ran, uncaring for the little traffic as I shot over roads - I was too fast for weak human eyes to see. A blur easily mistaken for a trick of the light. The sky above was steadily getting dark, it was just past six, and yet now the grey sky was significantly more shadowy clouds hanging low in the air like an omen of sorts.
I kept doing that, in my mind, concentrating on trivial things like the sky's colour. I had to. I couldn't bear to see Alice's vision again. Rage surged through me; unpredictable and precarious. I grit my teeth, disgusted at what my power could cause. What harm it could create.
I could hear the man's thoughts, a tainted cesspool that was focused on Bella. And then I saw her - through his mind - the wide chocolate eyes fringed with thick lashes set in the pale heart shaped face. It wasn't how I'd seen it last though. It was torn in fear, white as a sheet as the man drew closer.
Such a pretty girl, and she's alone… I grit my teeth in fury at his words as a growl escaped my lips, running faster than ever, searching for their location in his mind. It was too similar to that night in Port Angeles; the same fury gripped me to place retribution for the man as a first priority.
I broke into the deserted street, and sure enough there Bella was, cowering against a wall, not yet on the floor. Determined to fight. It was just like the time a year ago. The man hadn't noticed me, he sauntered foreward to Bella and crudely kissed her wrist.
***
After that, everything had been put on fast-forward.
In less than a second I had grabbed him, thrown him off Bella. His thoughts became confused suddenly. He was drunk, but it did nothing to excuse his behaviour, his past revealed that much. I was filled with rage and I could barely speak for fear that I would kill him.
"What does it matter," He sneered, breaking my concentration. Giving up on the blasé charade. It was evident what his intention had been, without my ability to see inside his twisted mind. It revealed the rotten core of a person he really was. He planned on getting even more drunk after this as a result of his unaccomplished mission. I couldn't block out his thoughts.
Maybe the kid will lay off. I could pay him. Nah, not much point anyway. The idiot's only in his teens and he doesn't look like a relative. He can't have her; I like this one. A pretty one this time, the last two were uglier than her, and this one seems more feisty. Though she's too small to do much. Control will be easy, though it's always nice to have a little challenge. Oh, she looks so afraid… perfect.
I wanted to kill him. I wanted to tear this man to shreds for his thoughts. His sick, vile, putrid thoughts. I couldn't speak for anger and rage; the guy took it as a chance to speak to me, unaware of how plain his intentions were to me. And how easily I could kill him. Venom pooled in my mouth at the thought of swiftly ending his existence. How he lived wasn't able to have the description of 'a life', it was something darker and tainted. Psychotic. He lived off other's fear, it was what he wanted. What he'd intended to receive from Bella.
"Lay off mate," He said gruffly, I was still using all of my efforts not to kill him; I didn't want to upset the girl feet away. She was too scared already. The Neanderthal before me didn't take a hint. He evidently hadn't worked out that I was an all strong immortal who could kill him within a second's thought. "She's mine. You don't want to mess with me and the guys up town; we'll take care of girly here for you. Run along now,"
"Move." It was all I could say through clenched teeth, ever aware of Bella's wide eyes, frozen in horror. My restraint was waning. Fast.
"She's nothing, just a-" I think it must have been my expression that cut him off. It was times like this that I was surprised people didn't guess what we were. My lips drew back as I tried to hold in the growl. His expression turned to shock, my fist came down hard on his face, I broke his nose and jaw with my lightest touch. But he was just lucky. Because if he'd continued talking like that about Bella I was sure that my fist would have done more than just impaired his speech.
I looked down into his cold eyes, glaring at him. Blood was trickling down the side of his face. But I didn't feel the urge to taste it. The guy did drugs, I could tell. His blood was tainted. I could see the blackness of them mirrored in his vacant grey. I spoke to him in little more than a whisper; my voice was venomous.
"She is everything."
***
I knew I couldn't withhold my restraint much longer, I would kill the man before me soon, his blood continued to ooze down his face as he staggered to his feet. I had two choices, and right now, the one revolving around the tainted blood was more dominant. A snarl escaped my lips in frustration. It was her gasp - a tiny intake of breath - that brought me back to my senses.
I looked back to Bella, and she stared at me with wide incredulous brown eyes. Shock was evident in them. I didn't have to decide after that, I ran to her, and swept her into my arms, she didn't protest as we ran, despite the fact that I knew the sensation made her nauseous. Her heartbeat was frenzied; I didn't breathe once. Her blood was too close, and I was far too livid right now.
"What happened?" I demanded, as I slowed to a stop. I was unwilling to let her go, though I knew I ought to. It wasn't safe when fury was still the ever present emotion. The man's thoughts were still etched in my mind. I was too powerful, too strong with the burst of adrenaline that had arisen when I'd first seen Alice's vision.
I was a danger to the human still cradled in my arms.
She stuttered for a minute, unwilling to meet my gaze.
"Bella," I growled my mind working fast as I tried to make sense of the hectic situation. "You're not staying with them anymore." Loathing was laced in my words at the thought of werewolves. Emily's - the Alfa's, Sam's mate - ruined face presented itself in my mind. I'd heard the sincerity and love Sam had for her in his thoughts, but I still couldn't dispel my horror if that ever happened to Bella. I had been wrong about it being safer for her. "You're not safe with them. Werewolves lose control too easily." I said after a pause. She raised an eyebrow at me.
"And this," She said lightly, twisting round to face me better, "is coming from a vampire." My anger melted away at her expression. The girl had too much power over me. She stared at me for a bit and pouted. "You know, there was really no need for the whole saving me thing…" She mumbled.
"And what," I asked quietly, "would have happened if I wasn't there, Bella?"
"Simple, I would have fought him, rammed the heel of my hand into his nose, kicked him in the groin…" She trailed off, blushing furiously at my expression of incredulity "Well okay… Okay I might have started screaming…" I could barely make out her words now, they were that muffled from embarrassment. "Well, okay… I don't know what I'd have done. Thank you." She sighed, finally giving in. "Thanks for saving my life… over and over again." She smiled sheepishly.
"You're a magnet for trouble Bella," I growled, remembering the urgency of the situation we were still stuck in, "how did this happen? Do you attract danger everywhere?" My anger died slightly because I almost felt like laughing at the question, of course the answer was yes. Bella was definitely a magnet for trouble, that had been evident since I'd first met her. Bella's expression however promptly turned into a scowl.
"Magnet? What are you talking about?! I don't attract danger!" Ah, the fiery kitten was back, she stared at me, incredulity prominent in her chocolate brown eyes. It was so amusing, I felt the corners of my lips twitch involuntarily, I decided to humour her.
"I don't know…" I sighed quietly, "You have this, aura." It was hard for me to hide the smile now. She elbowed me hard in the side at that comment; it didn't have the desired effect on me, a chuckle slipped through my lips only increasing as Bella scowled.
"You'll probably get a bruise for that," I commented lightly. She ignored me. Stubborn as ever.
"An aura? Oh great, because I was worried you were going to be vague about this." Bella muttered sarcastically. I frowned at her disapproving of her sarcasm, but her pouting didn't cease, it remained, her entire expression petulant. I almost felt like sighing.
Here was the beautiful stubborn and fragile human girl I had fallen in love with.
I held her gaze for a long moment, and the sarcasm left her expression instantly; Bella was never very good at that. She could never hold a judge. Her wide eyes were still chocolate pools that I couldn't decipher or understand. Yet I could see an emotion beneath them, and t was killing me that I couldn't work out what it was. Even now, that was the most infuriating thing.
"Edward…" Bella cautioned. "I'm sorry, look-"
I stopped her, pulling her softly to my chest; she didn't object.
"You're safe," I whispered into her auburn brown hair, "that's all that matters."
I didn't listen to anymore of her mutterings, I swept her into my arms again, the feel of her soft skin under my touch had part of me scream in twisted joy. Her blood was a scent too pungent, too potent. It was hard to keep control. And yet I knew I wouldn't lose control ever around her, but even the thought had a darker part of my cry in elation.
I stared at her with so much fervency, so much intensity, that she blushed. The inviting red staining her pale cheeks. The monster inside me groaned. I focused hard on her other smell. Fresh freesias mixed with the strawberry shampoo she used on her soft hair. I looked down into her eyes again, willing God to grant access to her thoughts for even the mere fraction of a second. It didn't happen. I sighed in frustration but still looked down to her; her dark eyes were wide as she looked at me.
Gently, she wriggled out of my arms, standing precariously on the damp terrain. The sky behind her was a mixture of colours; the sun had disappeared from behind the dense clouds. And she was just standing there, feet before me. Her brunette hair whipping around her porcelain face in the breeze. And I wanted her back in my arms.
"Time with you Edward," Bella whispered quietly, musing to herself as she took in the trees around us. "It's surreal. And stunning. Like a dream; a beautiful dream, one that I don't want to end. And then when you left…" My heart constricted, her voice became quieter, but the fervency increased, "the dream died, it was dark and black and my world shattered."
My thoughts were slow as I processed her words. Words that scared me. They were too intense, too insightful. A dream? Was that how she described time with me? It was the opposite of what time with her was like; it brought everything back into focus, with sharp clarity. A clarity that before had only been shrouded in darkness.
I was terrified by the sincerity in her eyes; I stepped towards her, closing the short distance between us in an instant. I cradled her face, warm and soft underneath my granite touch.
"Then keep dreaming." I whispered, my lips at her ear.
She shuddered beneath me. But slowly pulled away. For once she held my gaze - a polar response to before when her aversion had been paramount - as if unwilling ever to leave it. In that moment, there was nothing that could part us. I knew that much. But it seemed fragile, like it was something that wouldn't last.
"But what happens when I wake up?" She whispered, her quiet tone tinged with silent desperation. I couldn't answer. "What happens when my dream ends Edward? I can't break again… I just can't." Hot tears were streaming down her porcelain cheeks and I stared at her in horror. This was officially my weakness. A girl crying was one thing where I was clueless as to help - having not shed a tear my self in over a century. Bitterness filled me at that thought.
Monsters couldn't cry.
"I will never leave you again Bella." I whispered fervently.
"That's not what I'm afraid of." She said this so quietly, I was unsure if she'd meant for me to hear it.
"Then what-"
She sighed, looking up at me again, her beautiful chocolate brown eyes portraying an emotion that I mirrored right back at her. I still couldn't decipher them though, despite the fact that they allowed me insight into her mind, they couldn't answer my raging torrent of questions that I had for her.
"I love you Edward," She whispered quietly, fiercely, the words seemed to tumble from her lips as if without her intention. A rueful look passed over her face. "That's what I'm afraid of…"Her breathing hitched quietly, and I no longer knew if it was in fear or because of me. I didn't know what to think anymore. I became a statue as she continued to speak. "I love you Edward. I can't just stop loving you. And I'm scared of that; I'm scared I won't be able to stop."
"Why?" I breathed, she was looking away from me again, "Why would you ever need to stop?"
"Because I-I don't want it to happen again," Her voice was lower now, more urgent. "Edward, there's something I haven't told you. And I hate myself, but I couldn't. I tried… and each time I chickened out. I was afraid I'd lose you-" I cut her off, needing to hear an answer.
"Are you still afraid you'll lose me?" My voice was the quietest it had ever been. I was trying to comprehend her words. Did this mean that now she was ready to let me go? Did she now want that human life? Had she finally realised the sort of person I was?
"Yes," She breathed, "I'm terrified of that," I nodded slowly; she bit her lip hard, a trait she had for nerves and anxiety. I wanted her to stop it. It wasn't lust that ruled my emotions when she did that, it was something darker. The soft skin over her lip would not remain in tact if she continued to bit on it. I didn't know how I would react if she shed blood.
I just knew the consequences were too high.
"Listen Edward… I-I'm sorry…I can't lie anymore, I hate it. Jacob-"
I cut her off, predicting her words.
"I already know."
There was a stunned silence.
"You, you… what?" Bella's voice was broken, scared and quiet. I didn't look away from her face, now drained of the previous blush. It was as white as a sheet. She seemed to see something in my expression, what I don't know. But she took in a small breath, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment while she thought. Eventually she looked up at me again. "How long?" She mouthed.
"I've known since I went to look for you. I met Sam at the border. His thoughts were connected to Jacob's." My voice lacked emotion. The sentences were short and punctual. They masked how I felt. Hollow and empty.
And pain surfaced into her brown eyes. Heart wrenching goddamn pain. She was looking at me, her expression torn in regret and apology. And the truth of how she now felt hit me hard somewhere in my gut. I couldn't stand to see her like that. Ever.
I was about to sweep her in my arms again, stop her pain. But she looked at me, saying one name that stopped everything.
"Lucie."
"What about her?" I prevented any thoughts of her to plague my mind. I couldn't afford that now. My words sounded false even to my ears, detached and forced.
"You… she's in danger." Her voice was a muted tense tone that I hadn't heard her put on before. I shook my head at her words, she was fine. Safer than most with my family beside her. Bella was staring, her eyes trained, on a point at my feet. "Edward , you should go. Jacob can keep me… safe."
"So can I." My teeth were clenched. I took a step towards her. She didn't back away like part of me had expected, instead she raised her face to mine. Not saying anything, just looking at me. It was all we needed. And I wished the moment could freeze. Because here, now, I didn't want to think of anything but her. And I could tell she thought the same, that was apparent just by her eyes.
Still, part of me knew I was becoming belligerent, I couldn't help it. I felt the moment slip between my fingers as she looked down again. And again, I felt the unnecessary emotion cascade through me. The mention of the dog brought up a new kind of anger in me, one I was determined not to enforce on Bella. I didn't think it had a direct purpose; anger never did. It was just something people were fuelled on. A power.
And yet I knew this kind was to mask to the pain. Because I couldn't just deny that it wasn't hurtful. If course Bella loved him. He was human. Admittedly, he exploded into a wolf frequently, but he still had a heartbeat, he was still living. He could provide Bella with something I never could.
He wasn't a monster like I was.
"Werewolves are dangerous Bella - they lose control." Was that my only excuse to keep her away from him? I knew my others only led to one thing. Selfishness. Still, the way I spoke to her was the opposite of how I normally would around Bella. Harsh and blunt. I couldn't quite dispel my abhorrence towards them. Bella noticed, a frown line adorning her forehead.
"So are vampires." She pointed out again quietly, but her voice lacked the humour she'd used with the same words previously. "You must understand how she feels Edward." Her voice was darker now. "She's in more danger than you know."
"She safe," I contradicted, "And no. I don't understand her Bella. And why should I need to? I can't read her mind; she must have the same block as you do,"
"She's not safe, and I think you know it," Bella's voice was low, anxious, as if she suspected we had little time to talk. The thought worried me, "I had a dream Edward, and Lucie was there, Jane was torturing her."
"That - that's not possible." But it was possible. How come I was able to witness her dreams? Bella's mind was utterly impenetrable, a shield. Lucie's was not. Hers faltered when she became unconscious. Her shield would cease. A word sprung to mind, I'd never thought of placing it to her before.
Lucie was vulnerable.
The thoughts of her that I'd tried to hold back where suddenly hitting me again and again. Her face burned in my mind. A brilliant light that I couldn't dispel. I grit my teeth, disgusted at myself, confused as to why I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wished Bella hadn't brought her up. Bella. I looked down at her again; she was watching my expression with wary, rueful eyes. I set my jaw in frustration as a pair of bright green lights appeared in my head. My mouth became a thin line.
"You should -"
"No Bella, I shouldn't do anything. She lied to me." My voice was cold, hard. Dead. But it was the truth. She had lied to me. Keeping up a pretence that she was okay. She hadn't told me bout her dreams. And now she was danger, and I knew it. Alec had been in the last I'd witnessed, I didn't want to think of who else had hauntd her sleep. The tiredness, the fainting, the marred circles under her eyes. Suddenly it all made sense.
Bella's voice broke me out of my thoughts, a quite murmur in comparison to her raised voice before.
"So did I." She pointed out quietly; I raised my ice hand to her cheek. She didn't flinch away from it. But I could see the urge to in her eyes. A small shiver broke out from the contact. I couldn't help the wrenching sensation in my chest. How much had changed? Did my cold touch now disgust her like I'd always presumed? I held her gaze, stared into her chocolate brown eyes, as always, unable to hear anything except Bella's shallow breathing. The questions continued to buzz in my mind. None of them were ever answered.
What had changed for my touch to now make her cold?
"I forgive you." I whispered. Pain swept through her expression, she looked away, and the sound she made was choked.
"Don't." She tried to pull from my grasp slightly, "I don't deserve that Edward. Not with all that I've done."
"It doesn't change anything." I growled.
"Forgive her." Bella pleaded silently, "Don't you see why she did that? Why she kept those dreams from you? She was trying to protect you Edward. She's been trying to protect everyone. She never once told you about Jacob, and yet she knew. She knew from the start."
I was stunned into silence. I had frozen, unable to process her impossible words; Bella continued with some unfathomable fervency that I'd never heard in her tone before. "The Volturi are after her Edward, for reasons that surpass me, but they want her. It's not me like you've all been thinking. No one wants me. I'm not the centre point of all this. Victoria has some sadistic grudge against me but that's it. They want her. And she knows it. She hides everything that leads to that, I've been experiencing dreams like hers, I know how it feels."
"You need to-"
"No." I cut her off. My mood brooding. "She's nothing." I lied. I was about to say more when her expression turned sceptical. But suddenly a scent was in the air around us. I stared at Bella for the matter of a second before pulling her into my arms again, shielding her from the oncoming attack. I could hear them even from hear. Their loud howls ripped through the tress, Bella's expression was frantic. Torn.
Wolves.
I stared in disbelief as they came running. Both of them had phased into their human form, I recognised them instantly: Paul and latter. I averted my eyes from the latter. Rivalry was not something I wanted to deal with right now. Instead, anger rippled through me. Paul? I had seen through Sam's mind how easily he lost control. The thought of him any where near Bella made my stomach churn. I glared daggers at them, my entire body tensing. An automatic response to their scent. It was part of me to dislike them, I was trained to kill such animals; it was ingrained in my system. We were enemies. And I didn't think that would ever change.
Jacob's thoughts hit me suddenly; I tightened my hold on Bella. She looked as shocked as I felt, her eyes widening as she took in both their faces - despite the fact that they were familiar to her.
What? Bella? She's with him? The leech, why the hell is she even there? Did she go to him? Well, at least she looks uncomfortable like that. Prefers it in my arms. I couldn't hep the growl that slipped through my now gritted teeth. Jacob's dark brown eyes widened, he appeared to have momentarily forgotten that I could read his mind. His thoughts suddenly became stiffer, more formal. It was lucky Bella was n longer the centre point of him, else the dog would have been in risk of losing a limb. You're over the line Cullen. You can't come here. You've broken the treaty-
"This is neutral ground." I spat at him, I felt Bella beneath me cringe, her reaction made me feel bitter. Jacob noticed too, his thoughts suddenly became elated.
"Yeah well you were over it before." Jacob smirked. I was glad he was speaking now, seeing into his mind was no more pleasant than the man's before. His mind was now shouting images of him and Bella together. I tried to make sure I didn't hold her tighter. She could shatter beneath my grip.
"Do you," My voice shook in anger, "even realise dog? Do you know what would have happened to Bella if I hadn't been here? Did you even realise she was gone?" The fury was back, it was laced heavily in my words.
Genuine concern flashed across his expression and thoughts. Bella? Is she okay? His gaze was suddenly fixated on her. "What happened?" He said in a low voice. The tone now 180 degrees different from previously. No longer was he an obnoxious dog I wanted to rip apart. I could hear the sincerity laced in his words and saturated in his thoughts. There was no denying that he loved her.
And that realisation was more painful than I'd ever expected.
I carried on talking, hoping they wouldn't detect the other edge to my voice, the one that wasn't purely anger.
"Did she just slip from sight then? Is that how this happened? Were you too careless?" My sarcastic remarks set something off in the young wolf, Paul, he began to tremble slightly. Jacob cursed under his breath, muttering something that sounded distinctly blasphemous. I was about to continue, prove my point that Bella should remain with me.
But before I could begin to say anything more; Bella spoke.
Her voice was quiet, timid. She gestured for me to place her on the floor. I did as she commanded; steadying her in case she fell. She righted herself, her brown hair ruffled by the breeze, wafting the terrible scent again. I stopped breathing as she exhaled.
"I ran away."
Hurt filled Jacob's expression, and as if Bella had predicted it, she whipped her head round to face him. I glared in fury; he was doing this on purpose. He knew how to manipulate Bella, how to make her feel guilt. He was playing with her emotions more than I'd expected. Using his hurt as a way to gain her trust.
Bella continued, speaking fervently. Her words shook slightly, enunciating how distraught she was, "I-I had to Jake, she's after me and I had to stop her hurting any of you…" She moved towards him, the heel of her boot catching on a rock. Two pairs of arms caught her.
My own marble ones. And Jacob's russet.
Ice and fire.
***
Things weren't going well for me today.
An emotion close to madness was flowing inside me. I knew I was too edgy. Too unpredictable with my erratic thoughts. The venom in my mouth could have ended this. And I loathed my self for even considering it. Violence was not something I revelled in.
And I didn't even want to hear anymore. I took one last look at Bella, now suspended in his arms instead of mine. I was no longer one to talk about control. I was about to snap, I could feel it. It was all I could do within my power to refrain from running at him, from taking my Bella away.
Livid. that was what I was now. Livid, I could here his thoughts, threats he was shoving at me, knowing he had the upper hand with Paul beside him. Paul didn't matter - I could kill him in an instant, they were both young werewolves, only strength was on their side. I mentally planned my attack, wondering at what point they would realise my plans and how to take her.
Her.
My eyes flickered back to her face, and I felt my plans vanish. She was staring at me, gripping to Jacob for support. And her eyes, her God damn beautiful brown eyes portrayed only one thing as she saw me, teeth clenched, hands balled to fists at my side.
Bella was looking at me, in fear.
She composed her expression instantly at whatever look my face had now adopted, but the damage had done. Paul's boisterous thoughts broke my concentration for a moment. Bloodsucker's scared her now. I don't get why they keep doing this. Sam's bad enough with Emily, and now I have to deal with this too? I officially am never imprinting! I couldn't laugh at Paul's thoughts; he'd probably momentarily forgotten my power. I stared at Bella, unable to think. She feared me. She'd never done that before but now she was afraid. I took one last look at her.
And I couldn't even read her expression.
As I ran through the forest, with the pain eating away at me, it suddenly clicked as to what Bella's expression had been. Lost. Undecided, unable to answer. We had both reached a mutual demise. One in which neither of us knew which was best.
Water was falling heavily now, the storm had struck. It continued to drench me as I ran; it clung to my skin, promoting how dead I felt. The question became a mantra as my feet hit the earth; it consumed me, matching the same frenzied pace as the tempo of Bella's heart. A heart that before, I was sure remained only mine.
Who would she chose?
Dream, or reality?
***
An ionic bond. The force of attraction between the opposite charges of an ion. One element in an ionic bond loses electrons, and another element must gain the electrons. Simple, proven fact. Science was like that. It didn't leave loopholes in which everything was uncertain. People didn't question the properties of ions when they'd been proven by Science. Because there was no need. You were satisfied. You understood. It was fact.
And yet here I was: craving; dissatisfied; completely confused; and unable to detect a lie.
And it was that same sensation from earlier, that exact same twist formed in my stomach, just like when Bella had spoken of her. I knew why she'd done it; I just hadn't let myself believe it. But now, staring at her shuddering quietly, falling apart at the seams, the truth was as clear as crystal.
Lucie was so much more than I'd realised.
I hadn't known why I'd run here. It made no sense. Nothing was making any damn sense!
And yet she was just there, shaking. Lying on the wooden floor in a fetal position, with her little knees tucked up to her forehead, her fair hair falling down the arch of her back, obscuring her face. And I simply didn't care anymore. It didn't matter that nothing made sense.
Because I was through the window in a heartbeat.
And she looked up. Her eyes raking over me in desperation, shock etched in her expression. Her hair strewn across her face, bright eyes swimming with tears. The rain was hammering outside and suddenly so was her heartbeat. The sight of me had it speed up frantically, an erratic tempo, staccato and fluttering. And she was still trembling. Convulsing in despair and anguish. And it was killing me.
Jasper and Alice's thoughts buzzed in my head, but I couldn't focus on them, I heard them leave. It made everything worse though. Because now it just me and her. And right now, I was unpredictable, erratic, there was no knowing what I'd do next. How much danger Lucie could be in because of me.
Her blood was still potent. Not like Bella's. Bella's blood was the most potent I had ever come across. My La Tua Cantante. I was drawn to her by that, intoxicated by her, my exact brand of heroin. That had always been part of her allure. And yet with Lucie, it was different - though the monster was still present. Terrifyingly so. I could smell the same scent that made my throat burn. The same scent that drove others mad with thirst and bloodlust. Emotions fought with sanity. Blood fought with rationality.
To keep her safe, I should have left there and then.
But I couldn't help it, I found myself moving to her, rationality depleting. It was an involuntary process. An ionic bond. I was a charged ion, and so was she. She was there, quietly sobbing, unwilling for anyone else to suffer.
She was losing something, her choked quiet sobs made her weaker and yet at the same time I was gaining something. Her trust. Her hazel eyes - eyes that had been burning in my mind - looked at me, with that same inexplicable expression of faith. Staying away wasn't working. Attraction overruled sense.
Her eyes were impossibly wide as she spoke, her voice breathless.
"What are you doing?"
I succumbed to the craving, gently cupping her cheek. She didn't flinch away or show any signs of intending to like Bella had done. Instead her sobs lessened somewhat. Her breathing hitching. Heat flared under her skin at my touch, flushing her pale face scarlet. And with a jolt I realised that I felt the heat. I didn't feel like an ice statue anymore.
I felt alive.
"I'm making you forget." I whispered, because I had to. I had to stop her pain. And part of me knew she wasn't the only one who needed to forget. I leaned into towards her as her pulse thrummed faster.
And then, all sense of rationality disappeared.
***
Lucie's POV:
I didn't have time to catch my breath as his icy lips crushed down on mine.
I didn't have time to think.
And yet when it happened, I no longer wanted to.
It was at first, as if he resented kissing me. His marble lips pressed against mine hard, unyielding. But they weren't forceful; they were as light as a butterfly's wing, a brief touch, the pinnacle of gentle. And I - responding to the tiniest amount of pressure - felt myself go limp. His lips softened and my breathing came out in a ragged gasp. I don't think either of us expected both our reactions.
In a flurry of movement, I was somehow closer to him. Crushed into him almost. I could feel every inch of his toned chest, still wet. Chilling my skin, and sending Goosebumps all along my arms. Instinctively, my hands wound up to touch his hair - just like I'd been dying to do ever since I laid eyes on him. It was tousled, windswept and slightly damp from the icy water droplets still encrusted in it. I felt his fingers slip easily through mine as if it was the texture of silk. The arm that was securely wrapped round my small waist slipped behind my back, pulling me closer still. The other remained wound in my hair.
The kiss no longer remained the gentle touch I'd experienced earlier.
My lips were suddenly furiously in sync with his. The cold hand found the small of my back and we were gripping each other so tightly, with so much unexplained ardency that I felt sure one of us would shatter. I knew it wasn't right. There were a thousand things that arose with this, a thousand reasons not to react to his touch. It would only lead to guilt on both our parts; he would probably ignore me forever because of this one act. But I didn't care. I was enticed in this moment. Never wanting it to end. Edward Cullen was kissing me, and now the world no longer mattered.
I felt it fall away behind us. I didn't realise my eyes were closed. Yet his face burned behind my eyelids.
I couldn't think of anything but him now.
Blood burned in my lips, and I felt dizzy, intoxicated. His scent was everywhere. He was everywhere. Nothing else mattered. I was lost in perfection.
And then, he pulled away. Gently disentangling my arms from around his neck and pinning them forcefully - with a strength that I was unable to counter - to my sides. I couldn't have moved an inch away if I'd wanted to. His lean frame towered over me; so I looked at him, a twisted feeling swelling inside me. I felt as if something vital had been pulled from me. I was unable to prevent the rejection that surfaced in my eyes.
Part of me knew why he'd pulled away. The rational side. The sane part. I knew why he'd kissed me, comfort. His words were still ringing in my ears, I'm making you forget, and he had. Because now the terror had ceased, it was like waking from a nightmare, heart racing and body ready for an oncoming attack, and then remembering that it was just a dream. And letting the terror slowly drain away.
I could predict his reaction even now. Apologies, angst, loathing at what he'd done. The thought made me feel sick. Bile rising in my throat as nausea became paramount. Could he have felt nothing? The room started to spin; I didn't think I could cope if it had meant nothing to him. But with a sinking sensation in my stomach I realised that was the only rational thought. Reality began to merge around me, and with it the reason he'd kissed me became obvious. I'd thought comfort was probably the only reason. No - not probably, was the only reason. But part of me craved to admit it had been more than that. It was utterly irrational to feel loss at something I'd never had in the first place. Humiliation and shame flushed my cheeks as I felt a wayward tear fall down my cheek.
He caught it on a snowy finger, staring at me. I still couldn't decipher his expression, yet he read mine quick enough.
"Breathe." He whispered.
I couldn't breathe. I was staring at him too intently to multitask right now.
His eyes were burning, a brighter gold than I'd ever seen them (not necessarily lighter from quenched thirst) but resplendent somehow, more radiant. Two wild stunning suns; they blinded me. He stared at me like that for a few moments, his awe and shock equal to my own.
Brilliant and bright, alight in an inferno.
His perfect face shifted slightly when I didn't react to his command though. Concern. I knew why, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It wasn't exactly my fault that I couldn't breathe right now. He'd caused that.
I'd always known that Edward was far too good at everything. But this was taking beyond the extremities. It just wasn't fair on the rest of society. He shouldn't have been able to make me feel like jelly. I wanted to shake my head in disbelief, but I couldn't control any part of my body right now. It was decided. He was definitely too good at kissing for his own good.
Carefully, I exhaled. It didn't work. I felt gasps arise soon after I took a breath; I was close to hyperventilation. That was embarrassing. My heart thudded erratically in my chest, swelling so much I thought it was going to burst. He must have read my face; the sadness prominent.
"What made you angry?" He asked, his face shifting into one of anxiety again, "You're eyes are emerald." I bit my lip, and hastily regretted doing so, it was swollen. I mentally muttered profanities about my stupid eyes. I wasn't angry; just annoyed at Edward's… well, his seemingly endless list if talents.
I still couldn't speak though. My breathing was laboured I felt my face flush.
"That was…" He exhaled slowly, his eyes trained on my expression, frowning slightly but his grip - I noted, he was still keeping me next to him - did not slacken . "Probably the not best idea of mine…" He grinned a slow, breathtaking crooked smile.
Not the best idea huh? I had to disagree with him on that count.
Still, I stared at him in shock. Where was the angst? Where was the anger? He misinterpreted my expression. Gold eyes growing wide in miscalculation, reading my half shock (half elation) as fear and probably rejection. (I suppose Mike's phrase of looking 'demented' would probably apply to me now. My lips parted, gaping at him, eyes bulging - let's face it. I looked like a sort of fish with a disease…)
Edward spluttered. Edward, who never stammered. Never broke his flawless speech. Never spoke without the uttermost articulation. Spluttered.
"I-I, Look, sorry - I-"
I cut him off. Placing one hand to his puckered lips and staring at him, for once not caring about how much he saw through my gaze. Let him see. My mind begged.
"Thank you." I whispered to him, my voice quieter than a whisper, speaking for the first time.
He stared back at me, the same new brilliant light in his golden eyes.
"You're welcome." He whispered, the articulation returning in full flow.
We stayed like that, staring at each other. My eyes fully took in his dishevelled appearance. His sky blue shirt had turned a darker shade in from the rain and darkness. It clung to his perfectly toned shape, his abdominal muscles prominent through the thin fabric. I flushed furiously in the darkness.
"What's that blush for?" He whispered quietly, one would have thought it was amusement underlying his tone - yet I could detect the curiosity behind them. I knew he wanted to read my thoughts. And I was sincerely glad he couldn't. I really did not need him knowing how his abs seemed forever my weak point. They made me giddy. It was the reaction of a thirteen year old. I probably should have felt ashamed at that, but I simply couldn't care less right now.
"Nothing." I breathed. He continued to stare at me, and gently prised me away slightly to examine me more carefully. The blush intensified. My stomach was pummelling, it was the oddest sensation. These sure as hell weren't butterflies. I felt like I had a whole bunch of birds fluttering inside me.
Yeah. There were birds infested in my stomach.
"I appear to have gotten you wet; you're top is soaking. Sorry about that." I looked down, he was right; the wet fabric from his shirt had me soaked. I was, once more, very glad it was dark. Oh crud. He was smiling. Crud, crud, crud. Vampires probably had night vision!
It was very lucky that expensive satin-type fabric was not see through. Else Alice would have had hell to pay.
"I shouldn't have kissed you." He whispered swiftly. But to my surprise his tone didn't sound at all like he'd regretted it. More like a rueful recognition. I couldn't help the question that busted through my lips.
"Why?" Why did you do it? I added silently.
"Because…" He ran a hand through his hair, "Lucie… I think I'm-"
A yawn surpassed me. It cut him off mid speech. I pursed my lips shut the second I uttered it. A look passed over his expression something like incomprehension, but it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, prohibiting me from understanding it fully. I knew he wasn't going to finish off the sentence now and cursed myself inwardly.
Of all the times to yawn, I had to do it then!
It was worse than when my thoughts became suddenly infatuated with elephants. I frowned. Well no - yawning was probably a lot better for my health (and not to mention sanity) than thinking about elephants. No good could ever come of thinking about elephants.
Well, crud; I was thinking about them again…
"You must be tired," He whispered, stopping my thoughts (which was seriously one hell of a relief) by placing me in one inhumanly swift movement onto the bed. And then appearing (with equal inhumane velocity) against the wall away from me, his eyes searching no doubt, for any signs that I would spontaneously fall asleep.
I looked at him, with weak knees, unable to stand up. My voice came out ragged.
"I've never felt more awake."
His eyes burned.
"You - you should probably try to sleep…" He said. His voice was husky. My pulse jolted. I wanted to glare at him. Sleeping was impossible after what had just happened.
A silence hung for a moment or two. My thoughts headed unwilling back to the present. I wanted to grimace at the thought of who possibly still remained downstairs, mentally picturing a Spanish Inquisition from a certain pixie. Alice. Had she seen this? My stomach did a sort of half plummet and half flip in an unknown emotion at the thought of her. Were she and Jasper still downstairs?
"They've gone," Edward murmured quietly.
"What the hell?!" I exclaimed, whirling around to look at Edward in shock. I couldn't phrase a coherent sentence before he interrupted with a low chuckle.
"You know Lucie, that has to be the first time I've heard you swear at me. How very blasphemous of you." I ignored him, resisting a scarily strong childish (and not to mention incredibly random) urge to stick my tongue out at him.
"Since when can you read my mind?" I hissed, referring back to his previous statement. He stared at me, baffled for a moment, before letting out another chuckle in realisation.
"Oh - Jasper and Alice? I could tell you were thinking of them. Well, only Alice really. They left when I came back, Jasper heard my arrival and God knows what emotions he experienced back then," He grimaced lightly, "I don't think he could take it. He and Alice have gone back to our house, they need to discuss matters with Carlisle anyway."
I stared at him in shock. My mind still reeling at the thought of Jasper's power. Crud, how strong was it? Could he really determine my emotions from downstairs? No wonder he'd escaped, angst followed by shock and then… well whatever Edward had been feeling. I was surprised he wasn't imploding from the stress of it yet. I changed my mind. I no longer wanted Jasper's gift.
"Still," I said, shaking my head clear of paranoid worries as much as I could, "how could you tell I was thinking of them? Why Alice specifically?" Honest curiosity was apparent through my words.
He chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "You looked afraid. Did you imagine her dragging you off to shop or something?" He commented lightly. I bit my lip. Unwilling. I decided to try and avert the question.
"So you still can't read my mind?" I clarified.
It worked; he let out a frustrated sigh.
"No. And it's infuriating. I know a lot about human nature Lucie. I can understand how most people's minds work; not to mention being able to read them anyway. People, humans, in general, are predicable." He ran a hand through his hair. Wow, he was doing that a lot tonight. I didn't want to mentally admit how good it looked.
I blushed at that thought. He raised an eyebrow - noticing my complexion.
"I take it I'm not predicable." I hedged warily, quickly averting attention to the ever increasing blush.
He smiled a slow crooked smile. My heart stuttered. I could think of way too many other things that smile looked like for me. None were very appropriate, and would certainly not help the situation at hand. Oh great. The blush deepened. I was going to be permanently florid at this rate!
"No, you're not. That's were the 'in general' part comes in. You Lucie are not predicable, you're the opposite. An enigma I haven't figured out yet; a mystery." His tone was musing.
"You're sure you want to figure me out?" I whispered quietly, I hadn't meant to say the thought. Bit it bubbled to my lips nonetheless. He lifted up my chin again; the fire had not gone, though it was less ardent than before. More of a deep smoulder, his skin still tingled where it met mine.
"Truly," he breathed, "I do."
I suddenly felt incredibly odd, stunned. My thoughts quite literally stopped. And I was sure my heart did the same. I felt the blood rose to my fair cheeks as I blushed a deep shade of red. Edward however, was still perfectly pale. His skin the same perfect snowy shade of ivory. There was still that one hell of a contrast between us.
"You do know," My voice was breathless, "that under all that mystery… and whatever reason you can't hear my thoughts, that behind that, I'm utterly uninteresting." He was going to interrupt, I could tell. The frown proved as much. I lifted one hand up to stop him as I continued. He needed to know this. "Under that Edward, I'm completely ordinary - devoid of my stupid… collapsing," I made a face at the word, "and freaky dreams and having a stupid erratic 'gift'" I resisted the urge to sketch quotation marks around that. "That only ends up in me on the floor again… apart from that, I am ordinary. I'm not special like you think." I'm not the person you love… I'm not Bella.
I would never be either of those things.
He looked at me for a long moment before he spoke.
"Trust me," He said quietly, "you are the exact opposite of ordinary-"
"Wait," I interrupted him. His tone was one that I had heard on far too many corny sitcoms. But secretly, that wasn't the reason for my interruption. I had heard Edward say those lines before. With a different person in my place. Bella. The thought was like an icy piercing to my chest. I couldn't contemplate why he'd said it to me, but I knew it wasn't for the same reasons that he's said it to Bella. A twinge of disappoint swelled inside me, but I promptly abolished it, furious at myself. There was no reason to be disappointed. I shouldn't be - no wasn't disappointed.
I tried to keep my tone light as I continued, unwilling to let the disappointment taint the edge of my words. The mocking voice in my mind jeered me at that. Oh you mean the nonexistent disappointment that shouldn't have even existed? Is that what you want to hide? I ignored the thought, concentrating hard on making humour seem like the dominant emotion in my voice. "Whatever you say, do not say 'extraordinary' that's just plain cheesy."
He grinned. The tension from before lifted.
"Okay, no cheesy stuff." He promised.
"Good." I laughed lightly. We continued like that. Just talking. Our conversations ranged from Barney the Purple Dinosaur (who in my eyes would always remain creepy) to books and history. I knew he was distracting me, and I revelled in it. I wanted to be at peace, even for a moment.
And with Edward, I could.
***
I wasn't sure how many hours had passed.
The window was still wide from where Edward had come in. I supposed he hadn't had the time to close it. The rain was still falling heavily outside, but it still sounded too restless for my liking. The winds had picked up too; a gust of bitter air came through the window unrepentantly, sending the pale curtains into a frenzied thrashing motion. It lifted the collar on Edward's - still damp - thin sky blue shirt, and made my fair hair whip and lash around my face.
Unease surged through me, eradicating my previous emotions and thoughts.
Edward's expression changed minutely. His eyes remained the same deep shade of topaz, but they seemed to harden and adopted a glassy look; a look I'd noticed he used when he was unwilling to share his thoughts. But it wasn't just his eyes that told me something was wrong, his lips were now pursed, his entire expression taut. This confused and scared me. I didn't speak.
And then, he grabbed me.
The air left my lungs at his touch as I gasped audibly. His icy hand was gripping my arm, just above the elbow. My eyes shut instinctively, a pair of blood red eyes blinding my vision, Demetri's. I felt the scream building in my throat. I drew in small gasps, making sure I received oxygen, determined not to lose consciousness. I wanted to kick myself for the irrational reaction I kept getting. My vision was blurring and I felt light headed. Sharply - with all the concentration I could muster - I focused on Edward's face, tried to match the reason to suit his action.
I didn't have to wait long.
"Lucie," He hissed, his breath was shallow, words agitated, his concern for my reaction was in his sunlit eyes but something more urgent now burned in them. "We have to leave, now." He didn't explain further then that, instead grabbing my wrists and pulling me towards the door. I stopped him, pacing a white hand to his chest. He frowned before looking back at me.
"I don't like it here," he murmured after a pause, the urgency from before was still present, but toned down somehow. As if something more important to him dispelled it. "It's just… I can't explain it. It's not safe, especially with only me being here to protect you. We should go back to my house. Carlisle and Esme are there; you can rest." I stared at him in shock as I processed his last three words. Rest? He thought I wanted rest?
"I don't want rest!" I protested in a sound too loud to be considered normal in a general conversation. But I wasn't shouting, or at least, not yet.
"But you need to." He murmured to himself quietly. I hadn't realised that we were already at the door.
"What are we doing? I-I have to find my dad, he-" I couldn't say the words, I kept choking on nothing but air as panic escalated through me.
He pressed an icy finger to my lips again, shutting me up instantly.
"I'll find him." I didn't miss the lack of plural in his words. I still couldn't control my fear it continued to crash down around me, making my short gasps turn into choked dry sobs. No tears fell now, I had run out. I didn't want him to go. I could predict the events that would precede this. Jasper would send me into a sleep haze, Edward would go, no doubt alone, and he would get hurt. It wasn't long before the people who plagued my dreams realised that it wasn't just my father that I cared about.
But something inside me was still burning, a part of me screaming in desperation to find him. Too many thoughts plagued my mind. Too many images of him alone… or worse with Victoria. Her bestial face loomed before my tightly shut eyes now and I wanted to kick myself. I'd accepted his distractions. I'd deliberately tried to forget about him. The person who I loved all my life was in danger and I was doing nothing. I was a coward.
I couldn't just stand here. I had to find him, I had to stop whatever she (or the Volturi) was planning, I had to. By this point, I had completely forgotten about Edward. In wild desperation I ran to the door, as if trying to escape. I needed to find him; every second that passed made the fear increase inside me. Bile rose in my throat at the thought of how much time he could have left.
I cold hand pulled against my wrist as I lunged for the door. I was uncoordinated; I couldn't seem to turn the handle. Edward's voice seemed distant and quiet in comparison to my sharp ragged breaths.
"Lucie, stop - he'll be okay."
"But he isn't!" I wanted to scream, I wanted to fight and shout. But I couldn't. The sentence left my chapped lips in a strangled gasp. "He isn't okay. He left because of me Edward. He's trying to protect me. He could die because of me! I have no idea where he is and neither do you!" My voice was warbling in something distinctly like hysteria now. I could hear his velvet voice soothing me, murmuring soft reassuring words, but relentlessly, I pulled free of his grasp, instead running to the window. In a brief flash of mad inspiration considering how high up we were, and what impact I would make with the earth beyond. I didn't care what it took. I had to find him.
I leant forwards, the night had fallen in earnest, I couldn't even see the ground below. I decided that made things better, I wouldn't have to worry about the fall so much. I leant further still, but there was suddenly a pair of hands gripping the tops of my arms. The cold skin not prevented by the thin fabric. The grip was firm and hard, preventing me from falling.
But it was too much. My bruises stung like salt had been applied to a fresh wound. The cold, clammy touch was too similar, and the flashes and visions that accompanied it possessed me with a violent intensity. And suddenly, I wasn't even in my bedroom anymore. I was trapped in an unknown clearing, one that withheld a tainted eerie beauty. And I couldn't move.
All the breath left me. I knew what was next.
The clearing was darker than the I last seen time I'd seen it. It remained as evasive as ever, yet the feeling of déjà vu was prominent once more. It seemed familiar, scarily so. And yet at the same time, the eerie way the wind ruffled around me made it surreal and indistinct.
A voice drawled out to me in the shadows, again I couldn't move away.
"You know, it'd be easier for all of us Lucie," It called out, ever closer, "if you'd just come to us." There was a long silence, I was afraid to speak, knowing how easily my horror would be heard. He continued, in the same horribly familiar drawl. "You do know that the longer you stay away the more people will get hurt. I know how to reach you Lucie. Your father was just the beginning…"
Utter panic raged through me.
"Who are you?" My voice shook, the fear was constricting my throat, the air left my lips in a white cloud.
"Oh, I think you know who I am." There was a ghostly chuckle. I took me a slow second to realise why thee atmosphere had suddenly become more terror filled. And by then; it was already too late. The voice, the horribly sinister musical voice - was closer.
I didn't know what happened next. I just knew that now there was clammy hand, cupped around my neck. Tainted breath was being exhaled onto the hollow of my throat, one hand there, another pulling my hair.
"Until next time…" He whispered, before placing his rotten scarred lips to my throat.
***
I could feel the choked sounds now ripping from my chest, but I was deafened by a ringing sensation in my ears. Red clouded my vision, replaced by a perpetual darkness. The same dark voice was still consuming my mind and it had me captured. I couldn't breathe for fear that the invisible grip would tighten around my limbs, constrict me.
But at the same time, I could hear him. A distant angel saying my name. Anxiety furiously evident in his fervent tone. And somehow, his voice was louder than the dark one. I listened to it; the frantic words that I couldn't make out slowly became more important. Abolished the darkness.
The thought of darkness scared me. It was still around me. I was wrapped up in it. It was like I was drowning. I tried to remember times of my childhood in which I had swum, but none presented themselves. I'd never come close to drowning before, but I decided that this was what it must feel like. Drowning in fear, lost underwater, with no idea which way you were pointed in, and no idea how to break the surface.
But I had to break the surface.
Reality hit me hard as I realised I should open my eyes, the answer to stopping the night.
And so I did.
And he was there. I felt myself being lifted slightly, closer to him. I was in his arms somehow. Edward. He was an angel. He prevented the darkness. My bronzed haired beautiful angel. It was surreal, and yet he was here. And I was in his arms.
There was no chance of succumbing into the darkness as I gazed into his intense ochre gold eyes. They were shining right into mine, burning and passionate and fierce. Sunlight that broke my eternal night. I didn't move my gaze from his until he leaned over me and put his lips on my forehead softly. The rush of current it brought granted me hearing. But all I could hear where choked sobs. My choked sobs. I exhaled slowly and steadily, trying to imitate the likes of what people did in events like hyperventilation.
"I've got you." He said, his voice a mixture of soft and low, and his eyes never leaving mine.
"S-sorry." I eventually choked out. I felt humiliated. Ashamed at the - what seemed like - involuntary emotional breakdown. Worried for how much he could have resented me for reacting like that to him gripping my arms. And scared for how he'd fix the situation. I didn't want to see Alice now. I couldn't. I could barely interact with him. The thought of more people had my head spin.
Part if me knew I had to keep talking. I had to convince him I was okay.
"I-I didn't m-mean-" Frustration swelled at my stammering, the same guttural choked way that I spoke, the despair that was so evident. But he shook his head, silencing me with his expression. I heard the creaking of the bed as he sat on it. But he didn't do what I'd expected, instead of nestling me in the blankets he pulled me onto his lap, tucking my head underneath his chin. I didn't object.
"Don't." He murmured, "Just rest Lucie, for once." I wanted to protest again, my mind screaming the opposite of his command. I looked away, only to have a marble hand cup my cheek and become forced to look into his eyes again. "Please Lucie, just sleep. For me." The sincerity in his gaze was scaring me.
"I can't." I disagreed frenetically. The risks were too high.
"I promise," He said lowly, "I won't let you suffer because of them," somehow, I knew he was referring to my dream, "I'll keep them at bay." A ghost of a smile tugged his lips, yet didn't reach his ochre eyes, eyes that seemed darker. "I can even lull if you'd like?"
I couldn't reply to him, instead drawing in small gasps, making sure I received oxygen, determined not to lose consciousness. I wanted to do more than just kick myself now for the irrational reaction I kept getting, fearing how it could be perceived.
He sighed against my hair, inhaling my scent as I shook silently. Instinctively tightening my grip on his shirt. My small hands were now knotted in the fabric, damp still, though I no longer knew whether it was from the rain or my tears. The darkness stayed at bay when I was with Edward. I didn't want to leave his cool arms. I held onto my irrational, inexplicable infatuation with his touch. The cold prevented the darkness, and soothed the numb sensation.
But it couldn't completely dispel the hollow sensation in my chest. The empty void that only my father's voice could fill. Horrible words rung in my ears. Your father was just the beginning…I gripped the fabric tighter, not letting anymore screams escape me. Edward seemed to feel my tension; I felt his marble arms against my skin, the same cold temperature as ever, reassuringly constant. Still, I knewI craved for another set of arms, a warm pair, clumsy and loving. My father's. The same parchment and fire smell. The smell of home.
The sobs became fainter as I closed my eyes, sighing against him as my pulse thrummed through my veins. The event had taken too much out of me. I felt tiredness flutter my eyelids shut. But I could still hear Edward humming something. I couldn't place the tune. A memory presented itself to the forefront of my mind. Edward craned of the piano, elegant fingers moving over the ivory keys with undeniable dexterity. A plethora of notes haphazardly recorded in his perfect calligraphy.
I could suddenly remember the tune. It was the same one I'd overheard him playing what seemed like ages before. Before the chaos had fully struck. Even through humming, I could still hear the stunning way each note flowed into another. Beautifully composed, I tiredly questioned his inspiration for it.
It took me a few slow seconds to understand what he was saying in his melodic voice, matching that same mystifying tune, already lulling me into a tired haze.
It was the simplest litany of all; repeated with enigmatic ardour, quietening my silent sobs.
My name.
"Lucie…"
***
Mhmmm….?
Meh. I suck. I don't like this chapter. By next the whole comfort/angst thing will go me thinks. Edward and Lucie moments are as easy as cake to write. But with Bella? And Jake? That bit was painful for me. *grumbles* I'm sorry… I wanted to make this chapter completely Edward's POV but I gave up. Edward's hard. And I don't like this chappy very much because of it. Seriously. It was flipping hard to write: angstcomfortreliefangsthappysaddistraughtansgtcomfortARRGGH!! I can't deal with it all. Lucie's much easier. She gets to ramble on about elephants (yeah… very close to putting a 'n' on the front of that word still) and birds living in her stomach. :P
I'm half expecting angsty style reviews for this chapter… (feel free to throw me one. Any reviews are appreciated. And babbling on about nothing… well. I do that a lot too. So don't refrain from that.)Anyway… I don't know. Today I suck at writing. ;(
Now. I can officially state that we now have an EX NUN… seriously. That was tonnes of detail. Hehe, I was laughing at some reviews requesting this to stay T. Jeeesh. D'you really think I could write an M fic? I would die. I can't even write 'song each other senseless' without blushing- yup, I feel ridiculous right now - so PAH for someone fearing an approaching lemon. I'm the sort of.. Um.. Innocent person who had no idea what a lemon was. Honestly, I thought it was a citrus fruit! I read one by accident and by the second line I was like: Mike is doing WHAT to Edward?! (it wasn't nice…I feel scarred for life :p)
Bella. Edward. Lucie. Jake. Nelephants. Jeeesh. All one big mess. (… okay. No nelephants.) No, Edward has not broken up with Bella. I'll just get that settled before you all go off assuming things. Now, I bet you're all bubbling with curiosity as to what happened with the infamous couscous. No? Ah well :p
So, as I said previously, hedgehog is sick. Also, I have had a very crappy day. (Maybe I can use that as an excuse for a bad chapter? :s) The house is seriously deprived of anything edible… and so I've been hungry. In my hunger ensued depression I attempted to make couscous. That was not the greatest idea of mine. I can actually cook *gasps* seriously, I am a pro at anything sweet (COOKIES & awesome blubbery and chocolate chip muffins :p) and anything pasta based. Couscous however… well, that - as I recently discovered - is another matter entirely…
Basically… my sort of cooking (though I doubt you could call it that)… well, it went wrong. The couscous ended up looking like a sort of… Lump. (A highly non-edible lump I might add) but I was starving. Then came the next fiasco (see what I mean about a seriously bad day?) I was sort of holding the big pan of couscous.. And then next moment, MOUSE had come in with a baby RAT (she's been bringing in a lot of these in recently. My suspicions is that there's a secret ratty nest somewhere. With my luck, it'll be in the stupid walls of my room which would explain why those birds have survived so long in there… yeah. The birds are still there.) Anyway, Mouse came in, happily trotting along with this baby rat hanging from her mouth.
And I, being the genius I am, dropped the pan of couscous.
Yeah. Seriously, fate hates me. Mouse promptly jumped (very high up actually I was surprised she was that she was that agile. You'd have never of guessed with the amount of time she spends lethargically sleeping, often over my work. On this occasion it's a geography project that's coated in fur.) She dropped the baby rat which was still alive; said rat began to run around the room, causing Mouse to chase it; and here I was - the entire time - frozen in horror, eyes torn between the couscous smeared all over the kitchen floor and Mouse running after this baby rat!
I spent 30 minutes catching the baby rat. I let it out in a field. Then I had to spend another hour cleaning up the couscous mess. Mouse spent the entire time re-looking for the baby rat.
So yup, Hedgehog was very sick, and as it turns out, trusty old Norton Anti Virus. ISN'T as trusty as I assumed. *huff* Sorry for the apology that basically jumbled into a nice Ol'rant… but you needed to all know that I didn't not update because I wasn't satisfied with the awe striking reviews, (816! WOWZERRS!) But because dear Hedgehog was sick.
Oh, did anyone notice the very random Barney Purple Dinosaur mention? Long story. I have a phobia of people dressed up as overly large animals. You know those big…. Bear things in supermarkets? One was at Tesco once (years ago) he came up to me apparently wanting a hug. I screamed and ran from the shop. Anyway. I officially had the creepiest dream about Barney (can anyone even remember Barney) and I woke up in the sitting room sofa. I haven't sleepwalked in years. But I did last night. Barney was chasing me…
Anyway. If you write a review I'd appreciate it. Seriously… they're awe inspiring. Those reviewers who give freakishly long ones are fantabulous. You hear me? Fantabulous.
If you review, I'll give you a nelephant.
Lily- who HAS to learn a script. And advises you all to review. The number of nelephants she possesses IS rather alarming…