Heyyyys! (Mouse. Is. My. Muse.)
Bah! I'm SO very, very, very sorry for this late update…in the history of latest updates…well, maybe I exaggerated a bit there. But c'mon.. I haven't updated in…12 days… 12 DAYS?! I'm really sorry. I've juts been a busy bee. Buzzing… around….(And. Does anybody know how annoying a non-working-BT-home hub-that-prevents-internet-access is?!) Ugh. Anyway. The chapter's pretty long, if that accounts for anything. And…seeing as I'm saving you all from a torturous Thursday… don't hurt me?
There are two things I think you need to know:
1). I can officially state that I now know waaayyyy too much about Mycobacterium tuberculosis. It's unhealthy. (Yush! I got my 'proper' mockexam results back for my biology GCSE exam… *gah. It's still just a mock though -huff-* and I got another A*… which is good considering I did absolutely no revision whatsoever… PAH.. That's for a mock though. The real exam's on next Friday. I have only one thing to say: Bleeuuuccchh!)
2). Moving on from that depressing subject: I have another favourite word I'd like to share with you all - Jade Lyssy Swan *coughgoreadherstorygoddammit!cough* was the one who pointed out its awesomeness. GALUMPH! Yes. Galumph. It is in fact, a real word… and I think it describes the lope (see, now why do I think of horses when I type lope?…that's it. No loping. Nelephants simply cannot be compared to horses. The walk…?) of a nelephant perfectly.
Galumph! Now, despite how incredibly awe striking that word is… it simply cannot beat the likes of thwarted. Sorry. Nothing beats thwarted. (Me still thinketh it'd be the strange Ol'thwnoise thata maketh so dandy) And seriously… don't ask what type of demented-pirate-type-accent that was. I don't even know myself.(… never. I repeat. Never claim you can do a German accent. I thought I could… but oh no… turns out I sound Russian. Very Russian actually.) :p
Oooh! I have an idea (that I'm sure… no one will even consider, feel free to skip the babble and just read the chapter instead. It's… a little bit less pointless I guess :p) Can anyone can think of any other-oh-so-fantabulously-awesome-words like galumph or thwarted? I'll set a challenge. You hear me? A challenge! Whoever gives the best word that catches my eye in a review, will get a mention in the next chappy. :p An offer you can't refuse eh? C'mon! Find a word I actually have to look up (see, I never realised just how many words I know. Apparently: a lot.)and I'll be impressed :P
Do you realise how freaking fantabulous the reviews are?! Seriously… other fics have like: OMG. Update!… and then you give me paragraphs worth of comments! I LOVE YOU! Thanks so much for all that, and I love the short reviews too. And the anon. GAH! The anons that I can't reply to drive me crazy! But I love them. Reviews are seriously THE best source of inspiration EVER. (You know what. I think they even beat Mouse…) No kidding :P
REVIEWS! 862?! YAYS! Could we get over 900 by next chapter? Is that possible? (Oh! And I have serious catching up to do. If I normally review a story of yours, please mention if I haven't reviewed a latest chapter. I will do! I just need prompting. Blame my bee-traits! *buzz?*)
I pretty much wrote all of this chapter up today. Meh. I'm not sure if I like it. My opinion's bias anyway. But, if on the off chance, you all HATE this chapter. Then hey! Blame Mouse! (if this confuses you. Well. Just wait till the A/N at the end of the chappy.)
That's all for the babble (well, for now at least) see you at the bottom ;)
What Happened Last Chapter:
I felt tiredness flutter my eyelids shut. But I could still hear Edward humming something. I couldn't place the tune. A memory presented itself to the forefront of my mind. Edward craned of the piano, elegant fingers moving over the ivory keys with undeniable dexterity. A plethora of notes haphazardly recorded in his perfect calligraphy.
I could suddenly remember the tune. It was the same one I'd overheard him playing what seemed like ages before. Before the chaos had fully struck. Even through humming, I could still hear the stunning way each note flowed into another. Beautifully composed, I tiredly questioned his inspiration for it.
It took me a few slow seconds to understand what he was saying in his melodic voice, matching that same mystifying tune, already lulling me into a tired haze.
It was the simplest litany of all; repeated with enigmatic ardour, quietening my silent sobs.
My name.
"Lucie…"
***
The Desperation of Denial
I knew something was wrong the second I awoke.
Perhaps it was the remnants of my recent dream, the same dream that was burning vividly behind my closed eyelids and the one I continued to obscure my thoughts. Blocking it furiously, refusing to let the enhanced emotions and images take control of my actions.
Or perhaps it was the sounds above me, the low anxious murmurs that passed over my head so quietly they could be mistaken for leaves caught in a current of wind. The ones I could remember and yet not quite fit the people who spoke them. A quick trilling soprano, a low bass, and a dark furious harmony with a pitch I couldn't pinpoint.
Or maybe it was the cold tense arms wrapped protectively around my waist. Poised and taut, as if ready to pull me away in an instant.
It took me a few slow seconds to register this last fact. The fact that there were cold arms wrapped around my still figure, that had been - up until now - unconscious. I kept my eyes closed as I tried to remember the previous night, all the while fighting back the vivid images my nightmare had provided.
And then, I remembered everything.
Now, the fact that there were hard, icy arms wrapped inflexibly around my waist made perfect sense. I yelped and snapped my eyes open in realisation. Only to find more than one vampire situated in my room. Alice was the first person I saw, one small white hand on her hip, the other entwined with Jasper's significantly larger one. They were both staring at someone beside me before they're wary eyes flickered to mine.
Edward.
He was the tense person beside me. I don't know why, but in this knowledge, I relaxed. My tensed muscles loosened, I knew Jasper was somewhat to account to the mood change, but I couldn't quite dispel the feeling that I was safe with him.
I had almost forgotten all of their expressions. Each mirrored the other, wary and cautious. It now appeared my initial feeling when I'd awoken had been more accurate than I'd assumed. Something was wrong. My heart's pace stuttered slightly, it took me several seconds to find my voice. The silence that had suddenly fallen did not go by me unnoticed. I knew they're conversation had stopped because I could now listen to them. Suspicion lay thick on the air.
"What's…" I didn't quite know what to say. Their stillness worried me. The composed expressions too forced. "Wrong?" My voice was smaller than I'd expected. Weak and fragile. I hated it. Alice was the first to compose her expression, her small lips twisting into a reassuring smile, one that probably had the opposite effect. Her smile - like her expression previously - was forced. Fake.
I was lying at an odd angle. I always slept on my side, curled into a small ball to withhold as much heat as possible. My muscles felt cramped when I stretched them, I vaguely considered how long I must have been asleep for. I'd only had one nightmare throughout the night, and even that was hazy. Part of me wondered how Edward being next to me had affected my dreams.
Though admittedly, I didn't even know if he had been near me. It all depended on how long I'd slept. Still, I still had a nightmare, and even though it had been indistinct, it was not so enough to keep me from trying to prevent remembering it. It had been more of a repeat really. I'd been alone in the dark clearing. Screaming after a pale figure as they disappeared through the trees. Despite it not being very detailed, it had scared me more than most.
I sat up properly; Edward's arm didn't slip from my waist in the movement. If anything, his grip tightened.
"Everything's okay Lucie," Alice trilled in a quick, soft murmur, "We were just discussing things about your dad and…" I don't know what exactly made her trail off, but judging by Edward's posture - which somehow became even more stiff - I guessed it was whatever look he was giving her. I twisted round to face him, but he'd already collected his expression, giving me an easy smile that didn't fool me. No trace of a smile was in his eyes, a dark ochre now. His voice was the same harmonious tune, but a new kind of stress unlined it.
"You've woken up," I watched his eyes; the smile was still in place on his handsome features. I refused to get sidetracked from those. I didn't know exactly what was wrong, but in remembering the previous night's events I wasn't sure what to do. I almost felt sorry for Jasper. My confusion was probably driving him insane. Edward continued "You only got around six hours sleep, you should probably-"
"Oh my God!" I shrieked suddenly. I'd been asleep for that long? The atmosphere had suddenly brought on how urgent my current situation actually was. I tried to pull the duvet off me, but it was as if my strength had been zapped from me. The cover was too heavy for me to move, and the thought only induced my panic as my father's face formed in my mind, white and terror struck. "Six hours?! But why aren't we searching, my dad, the Volturi, Victoria… h-he could be-"
"It's okay, it's okay," Alice repeated in a high quick voice, I resisted the urge to scream in disagreement to her words. Though I knew screaming wouldn't help. "Look Lucie, it's good you got some sleep, not enough admittedly, but-"
"Not enough?" I repeated lowly, somehow, despite my low pitch, the threat of hysteria was still prominent.
"You're meant to have at least eight hours of sleep Lucie," Alice continued in a soothing tone, but I was no longer listening. The thought of my father with Victoria suddenly presented itself. I could see her prowling towards him with her cat like strides, pearl white teeth glistening, eyes a dark ruby red. The image pulsed adrenaline through me, in a swift movement that I'd been unable to perform seconds prior - I yanked the covers off me, trying to stand up. Cool hands formed manacles around my wrists, I turned to Edward, meaning to shout at him, glare at least. Show some of my coiled up rage at the thought of my father being in danger.
But I didn't when I saw his face. I could practically feel my expression crumple. His shadowed ochre eyes were staring at me in a way I had never seen before. The dark eyes flickered over my features so fast, as if trying to memorise them. I knew the look all to well; it was the same I used nearly whenever I saw him. He looked at me as if I was about to run away. Become little more than a distant memory. I was just in thinking about him like that; he was the one who was supernatural, who was perfect. He was the one who was more likely to disappear. The sort of person who only existed in dreams.
I wasn't any of those things. I was more ordinary than he realised. I just had tendencies to have disconcerting dreams and a gift that resembled an epileptic fit. I wasn't special in anyway. Insane? Likely, but not special…
Desperation was slipping through his façade. My shout died in my throat. It took me several moments to hear again, I couldn't seem to look away from Edward. Alice was still talking though, her tone had taken on a medical air - it was something, I thought, that just didn't suit her personality. If there hadn't been the fact that it was her soprano peal of a voice I could hear, I would have thought it was Carlisle talking.
"….and you haven't been nearly enough rest recently. Sleep deprivation leads to lots of risks, hallucinations, and lack of appetite. It's not healthy. You're a human; we can't have you like that. You're weak like this." A pain stabbed me at the truth of her words; it seemed it wasn't just I who had noticed how weak I was.
My face adorned a grimace; Edward's reaction however, was somewhat different. The second she said the words, he let out a menacing growl; my eyes flickered back to him in shock. But his eyes were no longer trained on mine, now glaring daggers at Alice. It was a look I rarely saw on Edward's face, fierce and angry, unmistakably vampirish…
And the little pixie didn't even flinch.
"Don't even consider it Alice," he hissed at her, "nothing is going to make that happen. You hear me? Nothing." Curiosity burned inside me at whatever Edward had seen in Alice's mind, but I couldn't form words to interject, my lips had formed a shocked 'o'. I knew who the subject of their conversation was, and because of this I felt my stomach contract and form a solid knot.
I seemed to be the centre point of chaos these days.
Edward let out another low hiss. "No. That won't help. Can't you already see her reaction?" I lifted up my head, confused as to whether they were still talking about me. And feeling slightly frustrated that (if they were still referring to me) they were just… ignoring me. I wanted to say: 'hello, I am right here you know' but for some reason, I didn't.
It was odd, considering I'd been so filled with energy before, that now I felt drained - almost tired. I didn't question their topic. After all, it didn't really matter. My eyelids flickered hazily, as I rested my head against something hard. The hard object tensed for a moment but then softened, I felt something cold rub my arm. The sensation was affectionate, soothing. Lying like this made me realise that nothing was that urgent. In fact, lying here was probably the most sensible option. The murmurs from above seemed more distant by the second; I listened to them mutely, not really processing any information.
"She out?"
"Good thinking Jazz, I wondered why she'd stopped protesting. Is it easier now? I thought she was harder to manipulate." A tuneful high sound murmured. What did that last word mean again? This dream was already confusing me; a sound like a sigh was the next thing I heard.
"She is. I don't know why, Carlisle thinks it's connected to everything. Why you can't see her future clearly; why Edward can't read her mind; why it's hard for me. I mean, you can see her future, but it's hazy right? Well it's hard to change her emotions... Especially since they're always so erratic these days. Seriously, they're hectic of late; she's as bipolar as you at the moment Edward. Could it possibly be you who makes her so confusing to be around?" The tone was amused.
"This isn't funny Jasper," Of all the strange musical voices, this one, I decided, was the angriest. His (I decided it was too low to be a female's) words muffled as though spoken through clenched teeth. "I don't understand why you can both get an insight to some extent. I can't at all. Every bit of her is hazy to me. Asides from how obvious her facial expressions are, I can't tell anything."
"Yeah, well maybe you don't want to…"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I've already told you Edward, but you ignored me each time. You're blind, despite what happened last night. And if you could read her mind it'd just mean that you're denial would no longer be needed. While I'm all in favour of that, I think you'd react differently. Even with both Alice and I's advise you don't listen. You didn't feel how quickly her emotions changed, if you just-"
"Don't Jasper," The darker voice was strained now, rueful. "It was a mistake. This can't happen, she's already in danger, and we've got bigger issues that need to be dealt with. How long can you keep her asleep?"
"Not for long, she's surprisingly alert despite only having six hours rest considering her insomnia traits-"
"She hasn't got insomnia Jasper." Agitated was the only word I could use to describe the way those words were spoken.
"Carlisle said it could be an option, it's been over a week since she's had over eight hours sleep. She only sleeps in short periods, that's a classic symptom, along with frequent awaking at night-"
"She doesn't have that Jasper. Just… trust me. She doesn't."
"If you're so sure. But even so, she shouldn't be so alert right now. The moment she started to talk about her father she suddenly became wide awake, it's hard to make her fall asleep when she's like that."
A thought hit me then. The words I could overhear where too sharp to be considered a dream. This thought only added to my rapidly developing theory that I was awake. I could feel my back pressed against what felt like a slab of marble. Edward's chest. It was hard to hold in my gasp. I concentrated on remaining as still and inactive as possible. Wondering how long it would take for Jasper to realise I could hear their conversation.
It was very hard to refrain the emotion that was swelling inside me at the thought at having been sent to sleep! A very strong annoyance at Jasper, and idiocy at myself for not realising it. Still, I concentrated on keeping my breathing even to stop those thoughts. I knew I would only hear them speak openly when they thought I couldn't hear.
"Do you think you can just wait Edward? Listen… I haven't hunted in two days… I need to get out. Sorry Alice, I just…can't. "
"It's okay Jazz, go now, I can smell elk nearby, I'll take her back."
Hang on? Did that mean that Jasper had gone to hunt? A whooshing sound and the scraping noise that my window made confirmed my thoughts. Result! I didn't refrain my annoyance now, mentally planning various punishments. I stopped my childish thoughts though, remembering now it was only Edward and Alice in the room.
Edward's voice was the loudest - from being just above me. His sentences were clipped and brusque, I could only hear half the conversation, Alice was evidently firing questions in their thoughts at Edward. I managed t stop myself from frowning, realising it would alert them to the fact I was awake, instead inwardly groaning. In hearing only half their conversation, everything was going to be more confusing.
"We can't. I have to go. Not you. Not Jasper. Me. What? Of course she'll argue! That's why she can't come. It's safer this way Alice, I don't care what you saw, you're visions are subjective; we all know how many things can change. I won't let that happen." The words seemed to have an effect on Alice, I heard her voice, shrill and frustrated, obviously feeling the need to express her words through speech.
"Ugh Edward! Why do keep doing that? What makes you think you should change it? It could be f-"
"Enough Alice." Edward's tone was sharp. "I don't believe it fate."
"But why? You just refuse the concept Edward. I've lived in the future my entire life. If fate didn't exist, what brought me and Jasper together?"
"That," I could practically see him (despite the fact that my eyes were closed. If they were open it'd be a bit too apparent that I wasn't asleep) pinching the bridge of his nose. He sounded almost tired, as if the conversation was aging him. Edward, I had just discovered, had no patience when it came to arguing with Alice. "Is completely and utterly irrelevant."
"Tell me then," Alice replied, now just as curt as he, "if that was just irrelevant to you, why? Why don't you believe in fate, or destiny or-"
"Because I don't like the idea of having my life predetermined." He snapped at her. It was the first time I'd ever considered Edward alike to a seventeen year old. Now, angst-driven and grouchy, he was acting his age perfectly. Alice's reply was almost too quiet for me to hear, it was also becoming increasingly hard to hear anything with Edward's growls. Seriously. What was with it with him and growling? He seemed to be doing it one heck of a lot more frequently recently.
"Everything happens for a reason." I didn't want to think too much about Alice's muted words; the curt tone had left her tone almost as quickly as it had appeared. They held the same mystical air I associated with her visions. Edward spoke before my mind could wander much on that though, the sharp, brisk tone returning.
"Listen Alice, I don't care what you saw, it doesn't matter. Your visions are not reliable enough to base our plans around them. That won't happen to her. You wanted Bella to be changed. What if I had changed her? What would that mean now?" I lay stiff now. Edward's brooding words were not ones that I would have expected. To say that they were shocking was an understatement.
Their words still seemed hazy to me, though now Alice's vision made sense. Edward had run to save Bella… then why did he kiss me? I blocked out that thought. There were only two logical explanations anyway: comfort, or well, maybe I was the rebound girl? I flushed. Even in my head that line sounded silly. "I went to Bella, and then the dog came. She loves him. He's a human - well at least more so than I. I doubt she's willing to give up a life devoid of bloodlust and murder. She can have… a normal life with him."
Uncontrollable sympathy washed over me at the pain in his voice. I no longer cared if I was just 'a rebound girl.' Why? Because he was in pain. I knew he loved Bella. I'd always known that. Of course he loved her… and she loved him. I was just some random human stuck in the middle of it all. I didn't know what to think anymore. And I couldn't quite dispel the thought that he could have kissed me for a bigger reason, not just comfort. I wanted to sigh. I was always rubbish at lying. I didn't care if it was just for comfort. Heck, I didn't care if it was because he was trying to prove something to Bella. He'd helped me, even for the briefest moment, to forget everything and anything that wasn't… him.
There was no way I was going to complain about that.
And yet now, as I relentlessly kept up my pretence of being asleep, the facts of the situation still seemed too surreal. Nothing added up to me. Chaos was falling.
Edward had found out…he knew about Bella and Jacob. My mind couldn't comprehend the thought. I could only see him running off to Volterra. It was the reason I'd never told him in the first place. And yet he wasn't. He was here. He's trying to keep you safe. That had me stumped. I wasn't sure which emotion was more dominant, my shock or fear. I wasn't even sure why I was afraid. I just… was. Something wasn't right, if I was hearing Alice and Edward's conversation correctly, then that meant that Edward was planning on looking for my father alone. A shrill voice brought me sharply back to their presence and away from my confusing mind.
"Edward! Why did you even do that? It was stupid and reckless. I'd have seen-"
"But you didn't Alice! Your vision was of Bella alone. Shewith a drunken murderer and heroin addict-"
"I didn't know that Edward…" She interrupted in a quiet voice. "I-I didn't realise…"
"No." Edward said tersely. "You didn't."
There was a silence. I wasn't sure what to do. Sooner or later Jasper would return, and surely by then he would realise that I was, well, one hundred percent awake.
"I don't know why I did it." Edward said after a silence. "Don't. Enough of that Alice, we need to get moving anyway. I'll go east to search; I need to go before she wakes up. She'll be furious at me going alone." Now it sounded as if he was mumbling to himself, it was taking all my restraint not to let out a sigh of frustration. Every second it grew increasingly more difficult not to open my eyes.
And grab him in an attempt to stop him leave.
That's it. My thoughts were definitely very awry at the moment.
Edward's stupid mind reading gift was also really getting on my nerves. I could only hear half the conversation. It was always the part you didn't want to hear, wasn't it? He sounded aggravated now. "Alice! No. This is her father's life we're talking about here. Do you seriously think…" But at that point, Edward came to a halt.
Because I had given up. The news of my father had me open my eyes wide. Only one sentence resonated in my mind now. This is her father's life we're talking about here. I was now staring at him in horror. An audible gasp escaping my lips. I think it was pretty obvious I was, in fact, conscious now.
Edward's expression flickered from the harsh scowl when he looked at me. The same desperate look in his eyes. I didn't know what to make of it. His tone when talking (well, growling) to Alice had been the same dark tone he'd used on Jasper. His words were ringing in my ears. It was a mistake. This can't happen. I fought back the stupid irrational feeling to cry. But soon didn't have to, my father's face appeared in my head again, dispelling all else.
"What about my dad?" My voice was shaking, in fact, my entire frame was shaking. I pulled free of Edward's grasp which had slackened. I didn't hide my glare as I stared at him. I didn't care I was grateful for his distraction last night. And I refused to let it change anything. I stared at Edward, stubborn and determined, waiting for answers. "Where is he?" My voice didn't waver in pitch like it had done previously. I was fed up of being weak.
"We're… not sure Lucie." Alice murmured in her high voice. I didn't even turn to her. Keeping my - now certainly a vivid emerald - eyes on Edward. I wanted an answer from him. He was the one I wanted to explain. I was sick of being left in the dark.
"We haven't searched yet." Edward deadpanned. There was no emotion in his tone now. He was refusing to look at me. The act of him averting his gaze sent a blow to my stomach. I felt winded and I didn't have a clue why.
"You're going alone." I stated bluntly. My mind could only conjure very stupid ways to prevent this. The main one involved grabbing his ankle. Somehow I doubt I'd be able to keep a hold on him. He replied in the same dead voice.
"Yes."
"Don't." I whispered, suddenly, he looked up at me sharply, an emotion close to fury lighting his eyes. I don't understand. The word 'don't' seemed harmless enough to me. And yet it looked as if I'd reminded him of something.
"I'll do what I want." He muttered in dark defiance and looked away again. Once more averting from looking at me. I felt Alice lightly place an arm around my shoulders; I didn't look at her, my eyes trained on Edward. He was stiff, I don't know how he'd got into a standing position in under three seconds, but he had. The tension in the air was tangible now; his white hands were balled fists at his sides.
"I need to leave."
"Why?" My voice felt like it was going to crack.
"For the same reasons as Jasper."
And then, he jumped swiftly through the open window.
***
It had taken me several long moments to fully understand what Jasper and Alice were doing. My first clue was Alice's failed attempt at distracting me. She began to talk to me about the possible whereabouts of my father, and how Carlisle was researching whether the Volturi had any reason to want him. Her voice held a certain amount of strain, tawny eyes flickering to Jasper every few sentences, as if unsure what to say. Unwilling to let too much slip. In reality, she needn't have put any effort in. The thing was, I couldn't listen.
My hands were entwined as I stood, still refusing to sit. The act made me feel worse though; sitting only increased my awareness of how I was doing nothing. My own pale fingers were twisted together to prevent the evident trembling. It was a pathetic, weak reaction from me. But as much as I wanted to decipher the enigma of who had taken my father, I couldn't dispel the panic that gripped me whenever I thought about Edward searching alone.
I'd had too many dreams, nightmares about how strong the Volturi were. How one of their coven - Alec I think - could cut off his senses, how he could burn people alive without them even realising it was happening. Without even knowing they were dying. The thought sent a shudder through me; Alice began rubbing soothing circles on my arm, trying to make me sit. Rest as she called it.
It was impossible to rest at the moment.
My mind constantly flitted back to Edward. The desperate look in his ochre eyes. The same eyes that yesterday had made me forget everything. Now they burned in my vision. I tried fruitlessly to focus on how to find my father, but each time my efforts were futile. Pitiable.
I hadn't realised I was sitting down now. That was odd. Alice had stopped taking to me too, (that was the second clue.) She was trilling to Jasper too fast for my weak human ears to catch. When I tried to listen harder however, I felt a tumult of fatigue. Yeah. Suspicious or what? That was the third and final clue.
I turned sharply snapping my eyes open (since when had they even been closed?!) and glaring at Jasper. He looked slightly sheepish. Alice gave a small, impatient, sigh. Muttering something I couldn't hear. I didn't try to catch it, keeping my eyes trained n Jasper, my expression murderous.
"Jasper. Don't. You. Dare."
I had finally understood what they were planning.
He gave me a small, apologetic look.
"Sorry Lucie, we can't have it any other way." Alice grinned impishly at me, her teeth tiny white pearls in the near darkness. I looked away from her. She'd probably resort to hypnotism.
What? Hypnotism did seem like a thing a deranged pixie would do in her spare time…next to shopping of course.
I shook my head crossly; maybe insanity was something Jasper caused. My wandering mind conjured up the oddest of thoughts. Jasper had a slight frown on his perfect face, his lips however, twitched slightly - as if suppressing a smile.
I didn't smile. I glared at him. Mentally preparing myself for what he was about to do, willing every fibre in my body to stay awake. Alert. Focused. My scowl remained fiercely on my face, but I averted my eyes from Jasper; for fear that in the contact his gift would somehow have greater affect. My eyes rested on Alice's face, I continued to glare. It was her after all, who'd probably been so adamant on Jasper's idea. They were a couple both planning my demise. Well not demise - maybe was exaggerating just a little bit - but they were planning to send me to sleep. Had Alice foreseen my protest?
Horror slowly sunk in when I realised that my restraint was waning, I felt my eyelids flicker despite my will.
"No!" I wanted to shout the protest, but the sound only my left my mouth in an indignant mumble.
The last thing I saw was a small wry smile form on Jasper's lips.
And then a pair of cool arms lifted me into oblivion.
***
"How much longer."
"Roughly six seconds,"
"Can she hear us yet?"
"I don't think so."
Saying that overhearing these voices confused me would have been an understated. I couldn't make out who it was yet, and, despite my attempts, my eyes remained glued shut. I wanted to scream. This was the third time I was overhearing something!
"Bet you anything she'll be angry!" See. Now there was no guessing needed for who that was. Only Emmett could get excited by me being angry. I could finally open my eyes and sighed wearily in the process. Sitting up dazedly, and wondering why he suspected I was going to be angry at all.
I think it took me approximately ten seconds to remember why I was here in the first place.
"Where is Jasper?…" I said in an ominous tone, turning to Alice. I hid my other thought. The one that was screaming a different name.
Alice beamed at me brightly before turning towards an open window as an answer. A line of bookcases were on each side of the wide window. It occurred to me I didn't actually know where I was. I didn't have time to work it out.
Sure enough, Jasper soon appeared outside the window, jumping through it too fast for me to see the arc of his flight. I frowned at him. On top of my annoyance that he'd just randomly sent me unconscious I was fed up. Vampires needed to have a lesson on using doors. Honestly, it was common etiquette. This whole leaping-through-the-window-just-because-they-can thing was getting on my nerves. My frown transformed into a something angrier…
Jasper didn't notice my death glare though; he had eyes only for Alice. It was almost as if they were the only two in the room now. Emmett and I became no more substantial than shadows. Jasper straightened up letting a small smile fall across his face, his honey blonde hair ruffled up by wind. She flew to him, in a graceful lope that would make a ballerina look uncoordinated. The next moment, She was standing on her tiptoes and gently - with a kind of affection rarely saw in today's society - she pushed a lock of hair out of his now butterscotch eyes.
"Missed you." She laughed in a peal of bells. Kissing him lightly on the cheek as he wrapped one arm around her miniscule waist. I looked away, my neck flushing. Their relationship, I decided, was odd, not in a bad way - just…complexly and completely unique. Despite the minimal contact I saw between them, I was forever feeling intrusive. It was like they had their own personal world. I was so determined on trying to give them some privacy that I forgot my annoyance at Jasper. It was Emmett who reminded me.
"Now Luce, that is a disappointment. I mean, I least expected some action from you If you don't start acting all crazy and angry like normally," I glowered at him and he just raised an eyebrow. Mouthing, 'what it's true!' My glower strengthened as I stared stubbornly at his stupid perfectly raised eyebrow.
No. I still hadn't learned that talent. Despite the fact I was almost constantly with people who were very apt at doing it. I couldn't. It becoming was infuriating and now Emmett officially knew how to wind me up. Admittedly, it didn't take much. (One eyebrow and I was already close to livid.) He continued, perhaps seeing the mad glint in my eyes. "…Then, well, I'm going to lose the bet. And that would suck. So yeah, go unleash some anger on Jazzy-"
Alice suddenly had Emmett in a headlock. A shocked gasp left me.
"Did I mishear you dearest Emmy?" She said sweetly. He let out a disgruntled sigh.
"Just advising Luce to unleash her wrath on Jasper is all Alice." He said, instantly dropping the nickname. Alice let go of him smiling victoriously. I couldn't quite dispel the shock still etched on my features at her animalistic sudden attack. I made a mental note never to call Jasper 'Jazzy', somehow - if I'dbeen the one in the headlock - I don't think I would have faired so well.
I looked around the room, remembering that it was one I'd never seen before. The surface beneath me wasn't the usual soft plush I'd come to associate with the Cullens' ludicrously expensive sofas - instead it was harder, not comfortable at all actually. I stared down at it. Heck. Was I on a doctor's bed? The kind with the vinyl sheet (…wait I wasn't ill.) I looked down once more to check I wasn't in a gown. Thankfully I was still in my original clothes. They were dirty though, no doubt Alice would soon notice that.
"Hang on a sec, how the hell did get here?!" I exclaimed, standing up too quickly and then having to grip the edge of the medical bed for support. Emmett broke into a grin at my outburst, turning to Alice triumphantly. They were both leaning over me, waiting for me to awake.
"That's it. I've won. She even swore Alice! Luce never swears… this means she's mega angry." I glared at him, though I couldn't help noticing he was right. So what if I didn't swear? Vulgar language never helped anything… Oh crud. I sounded like an old lady. And crud. I kept thinking crud instead of a swearword. Ugh. I was almost glad for Emmett to interrupt my thoughts. "Oh, and you were carried here Luce."
"You carried me here?" I exclaimed in shock, I wasn't sure if I was more shocked or angry. I decided to settle on angry. Why not let Emmett get his money's worth? "While I was unconscious?" Jasper smiled easily.
"Well, technically, it was Alice who carried you." Now see, I really wanted to say something smartass back to Jasper. But my thoughts - as per usual - blurted out my lips before I could even think of something remotely intellectual to parry Jasper's technicalities.
"Alice?" My mind struggled with the concept of her tiny frame supporting my weight.
"I'm not that weak Lucie," Alice said disapproving of my scepticism. "You should know by now; size doesn't matter." She, it seemed, had decided I healthy enough. Lightly, she gave me a quick hug before dancing out the room with Jasper, murmuring something about grizzlies.
Emmett let out a moan.
"Damn," He muttered, "Alice is going to get the grizzly…" He looked at me, but I was busy staring at what I was still sat on sat on. Erratic thoughts kept popping up in my head.
It was definitely a doctor's table. I felt like a lab rat.
I wanted to get as far away from such a thing as possible. For some reason I had a vision of Carlisle strapping me to the thing and not letting me go... Demanding that some sort of brain sugary was necessary. Oh crud. I could only see Carlisle as a mad brain surgeon now. It was honestly scary.
"Oh God, that's it, I'm really going crazy aren't I?" I whined out loud, my voice was high again; hysteria was likely at this rate. I jumped off the table like it had electrocuted me.
"You're not going crazy Luce," Emmett said lightly, unperturbed at my very random outburst.
"I am," I whined, resisting pulling at my hair, that act would only induce my theory on being crazy. I looked back to Emmett, slightly surprised at his calm collected tone. "And how can you tell anyway?"
"Simple," He said gruffly, sitting up and placing my small hands in his large ones. "Crazy people don't know they're going crazy, crazy people are crazy when they think they're the ones who are sane." I stared at Emmett, moth agape. Was it just me, or did his words make perfect sense?
Rosalie danced into the room, still managing to look like a model despite her mechanical attire. Wait. Mechanical attire? I gawked at her - but my first assumption had been correct. She was wearing blue overalls, smeared with grease, her hair still managing to look effortlessly flawless.
Her eyes flickered from my hands, still held by Emmett's; I instantly blushed and felt embarrassed. Hoping she didn't assume anything by the notion. But she didn't scowl - or even, for that matter - show any signs of resentment towards me. I was glad. I didn't need my ego and self esteem to be shattered any further, just her glorious immortal presence had both of these in tatters. She'd obviously heard the last part of the conversation, eyeing up Emmett before turning to me with look of genuine perplexity.
"Jeesh Lucie, what did you do to make Emmett a philosopher?" Emmett gave a slight grin, letting go of my hands and slipping an arm around her waist. I blinked a few times; well aware of how stupid I looked.
"Well, I…told him I was crazy…"
***
I'd tried to relax in the shower. Though using the word 'tried' rather loosely I'll admit. The hot water had been, in all respects and purposes, perfect. Yet it had not undone the tight cords of tension that seemed to be pent up inside me. I'd let Alice chose clothes for me. Though I didn't look at them as I shrugged into them. Still slightly disconcerted at how Alice was so accurate on getting things that fit me. I was an awkward size. Too skinny by half, yet the jade top I now wore didn't bag at all, and this was the same for the dark jeans. Most of the time I approved of Alice's style. I didn't now. Looking at my reflection only left me grimacing. This top, like the last, had a drastically low hemline, exposing my too prominent collar bones. The dark colours contrasted too much with my pallor. Emphasising how white I looked.
My face was the same pallid complexion, damp hair tangled and the shadows under my eyes were more noticeable. An amethyst against cream. In my shock my face seemed paler than usual, though it wasn't the ethereal pale that made one look glorious like the Cullens. It was a sallow, unhealthy colour. I grimaced again. I hated looking at my reflection. Though my appearance rarely bothered me. I'd hate it if I was prettier; being pretty attracts attention. I drew my hair into a messy ponytail, glad that it could no longer fall into my eyes.
And after that. I had completely zoned out of it all. Time passed relentlessly slowly. I couldn't make sense of it. My distractions were depleting by each toll of the clock. I'd run out of things to stare at. And now my mind would revert back to the things I was trying to ignore. My answers to everyone were monosyllabic. And my only other interactions would be nodding and reassurances of 'I'm fine,' to everyone I spoke to. Now I was staring blankly at a plate of food someone had placed before me in the kitchen. I hadn't even realised I was situated here.
And then I heard a name that changed everything. For the briefest moment, my panic ceased.
"Edward! You are so annoying!" I stood up quickly, not giving my plate of food another glance. I practically sprinted down the hallway, and came to a dead halt when I saw him, hair ruffled, a look of uttermost concentration on his face as he stared at Alice.
It was probably my exhale of relief that had him look up. I knew I should have been angry at him for running off alone in the first place. But I couldn't quite summon that. Relief. Overwhelming and all encompassing relief flooded through me at seeing him whole and undamaged.
But when I looked at him closely, my relief turned short lived. Is eyes held a bitterness I couldn't place. He looked angry at himself, either that or angry at me. He spoke to the room (everyone was now around us) but his eyes remained fixed on me. Searching for something.
"I can't find him. I caught his scent though. It's not Victoria who has him." I didn't hear the rest. My knees felt weak, I lent against the banister of the stairs slightly. Afraid of falling. Edward shot me a look. It was the same shadowed look that I couldn't understand. For a split instant, I thought I saw longing. But it was gone. I'd probably imagined it.
He didn't look at me after that.
I was ignored by him. He went to talk to Carlisle, and spent the entire time in his study. Planning. Plotting. Doing things that I was too 'delicate' to hear.
I was being left in the dark.
***
Edward scowled.
I was sitting with Emmett in the sitting room. Not allowed to hear the 'discussions' that were going on. I was getting more and more frustrated at that. It was then that Edward had strode into the room, before seeing me, and, well… scowling.
"Don't Edward," I looked at him, speaking for the first time. Keeping my voice indifferent. Mirroring his treatment to me. His frown didn't waver, "you'll get frown lines."
"Excellent advice Luce," Emmett commented conversationally.
Edward didn't seem to find my comment amusing. Though when our eyes met I was surprised to not see the frustration I'd expected. I couldn't read the look in his eyes at all. The emotion that burned beneath the surface was too deep, too complex, for me to decipher. Jasper coughed slightly behind me then, and as I turned to him, Edward let out a low growl. I turned back only to see him stalking off in the direction of Carlisle's study. How very sociable. Jasper was hot on his heels, leaving only Emmett and I in the kitchen.
"Why is Edward acting so strange to Jasper?" I mused out loud. Trying to sound indifferent again. It was harder than before. The raised eyebrow on Emmett's face told me my attempt was futile. He didn't answer me. My voice became sceptical. "What, can't you tell me?" I questioned further, dropping the unconcerned act. It appeared my acting wasn't so good.
"Nuh-uh, not a thing" Emmett frowned slightly, "well, I can't say, else Edward would almost certainly castrate me," He gave me a meaningful look, "I'm afraid that just can't happen to me. I'm not taking any risks Luce." My mind had only processed one word in his speech.
"Castrate you?" I questioned him. He misunderstood my bewilderment, evidently under the delusion that I didn't know what castration was. Oh no…He continued in a matter of fact tone, still very serious. I didn't have time to interrupt fast enough.
"Castrate: the process of removing testicles from-"
"Enough!" I childishly covered my ears, "Emmett!" I whined at him as he grinned, "I do know what castration is! I just don't want to hear it." He continued to grin before raising an eyebrow suspiciously.
"You sure Luce? It's a pretty complicated process, I'm sure you don't know the specifics-"
"Emmett." A voice behind me scolded, "Please do not tell me that you're talking to Lucie about castration. She does not need to know details on the subject." I turned around to see Esme, looking the most motherly that I'd ever seen her. Hands on hips, frowning at Emmett disapprovingly. She let out a sigh, I had an odd feeling that events like this had happened before.
Emmett brought up strange topics. He left with a casual shrug, Esme rolled her eyes.
"How are you feeling Lucie?" Esme asked tentatively, I blinked at her, a mixture of surprise and gratitude warming me at kind words. Her face looked just as sincere, caramel waves framing a perfect face. In many ways, she was a lot like my mother when she was alive. I couldn't respond at first, my throat suddenly felt tight. I widened my eyes to prevent tears.
"Fine." I managed to say, forcing on a tight smile - I didn't want to seem so hostile towards Esme, she was all one could ask for in a mother. But she was suddenly too similar, despite the fact that (looks wise at least) she was not like my own mother at all.
I could tell she was about to say more, but suddenly, Jasper was next to her.
"Can I talk to you Lucie?" He asked. I frowned. Did people seriously need permission these days to start conversation? He noticed my frown, "Sorry, I can-"
"No, it's fine." I said. Trying to smile again, Esme gave me another warm look before saying something about helping Rosalie fix Emmett's jeep. I was left with Jasper. He smiled at me again, the same, almost nervous smile, before politely suggesting to go somewhere more private. I just nodded. Completely baffled.
We stopped in a room I'd never been in before. There were two seats in it. I felt like I was being put inder interrogation.
"I cannot alter your feelings Lucie," Jasper told me, I looked at him, confused by his words. "I'm empathic so to speak, I know what you're feeling, but I can't change that. Your emotions are different. With some effort I can manipulate and control those. I can make you tired, calm, happy, sad… but I can't for example make you any more willing to like you. Let's say you hated me, I couldn't just make you suddenly fond of me-"
"I don't hate you Jasper," I cut across him, he smiled easily, but I felt unsure all of a sudden. I'd probably seemed distant today, inwardly fighting and controlling my own thoughts. I hadn't meant to seem so hostile. "I don't I promise! I like you Jasper. Really like you... I mean, not how Alice does of course but-" He grinned slightly and how flustered I was getting.
"See, I made you experience that." He grinned, and I felt something like a weight lift off me, leaving me no longer flustered, but just as confused. I set my jaw crossly. I didn't like Jasper changing my emotions. They were hectic enough as it was. "Making someone flustered is an easy emotion. But listen, what I mean is I can change those. I can change small trivial things like that, but when it comes to the deeper, heartfelt feelings like abhorrence and love, I'm pretty useless."
He had become more serious now. I was honestly fascinated in what he was saying, though part of me dreaded where it was heading, I couldn't stop listening. Despite the fact that I'd seen Jasper's past, I'd never fully understood his power, it was more complex than I'd assumed. In some ways, far more powerful than I thought, and in others it was weak.
"In short, I cannot alter your feelings: for you cannot alter them yourself, despite if you wanted to. Wished to. You can't. People are ruled by emotions, but they can change them. If you were angry you would be able to calm yourself down, wouldn't you? Anger is an emotion, a complex emotion, but it's something that's changeable nonetheless.
"Feelings aren't like that. Take love, it is possibly the most complex feeling. If you're in love, you can't stop. You can fall out of love, but you can't stop on your own accord, despite whatever you desire. Love is unconditional, irrational, and utterly irrefutable. You're human Lucie. Everyone is human once. Despite the fact that my heart no longer beats, I am, ultimately human. I have the ability to make conscious thought. I have feelings just like you. And I can't change them. Because feelings lie bare in the uttermost detail of everything you said or thought; but the inner heart, whose workings are mysterious even to yourself, will always remain impregnable."
It was the longest speech I'd heard Jasper ever say. It left me astounded. I couldn't form words. My throat felt tight again. I hadn't missed the underlying message in his words. Was he really referring to Edward and I? I wasn't sure how to react to Jasper's words; in fact, I wasn't sure what I thought of them. I frowned slightly, coming to the conclusion that it was best not to dwell on them, they'd only leave me more confused than I already was. I could feel his light eyes watching me warily, trying to fit my reaction to my emotions.
"You know," I remarked lightly, prohibiting him from speaking any further, "you're sounding terribly George Orwell-esque Jasper." It was true. Did the Cullens constantly like to quote people? His brows furrowed as he frowned at me for the slightest second, before letting an easy grin spread over his handsome features. I felt a wash of content pass through me in the smile.
"I presume you read a lot?" Jasper questioned, I nodded, and then - in remembering the last time I'd held a book - blushed furiously. The memory brought up only one connotation. Of a certain person I was trying to forget about. I focused on the Cullens' immaculate floor, but the blush was still staining my cheeks. Jasper either saw this (my stupidly obviously blush) or felt the sudden change in emotions. Knowing him, it was probably both.
He raised an eyebrow, bemused.
But before he could question me further, Carlisle was beside us. I looked up at him, slightly dazed. Vampires moved much too fast. The moment Carlisle entered, Jasper left. I stared at rhe place Jasper had been only seconds previously in bewilderment. It was as if everyone had an allocated time for-talking-to-Lucie today. My mind couldn't block the thought of everyone having little timetables with appointments on.
"Lucie?" Carlisle said, reminding me that he was in the room and looking down at me with inquisitive honey gold eyes.
"Mhmmm…" Was my response. My mind was whirring over Jasper's words still.
"Do you mind if I talk to you about your mother?" He said hesitantly. I couldn't control the flash of fear that arose in my eyes, my chest constricted even at the mention of her. The same tight sensation in my throat appeared like when I'd been talking to Esme. I felt slightly sick.
"Uh, yeah, sure…" I mumbled quietly, he sat down on the opposite chair, gesturing for me to do the same. In truth, I had no intention of talking about my mother. Thinking about her was painful enough. I concentrated on the sound the wind made against the windows, and began counting how many books I recognised. 2, 6, 12...the rest were on medicine and historical records.
I knew what I was doing, and Carlisle seemed to as well. But even as he spoke I tried not to concentrate on his words. I wanted to postpone any thoughts on her for as long as possible.
"Listen, I've tried to understand the Volturi's motive for possibly taking your father, and I can only come up with one solution. You. I know you're going to deny this Lucie, but you are important. Aro is the leader of the Volturi, he seeks out-"
"I know," I cut across him. Nausea kept twisting my stomach at the thought of them. I needed someone else to interrupt. And fast. Carlisle didn't seem to mind my interruption; he nodded, continuing with his speech.
"Now Lucie, you're power is something that Aro would love to control. You're only human now. Gifts intensify during the change of a human into a vampire - not that we have any intention of letting that happen," he added quickly. "We'll keep you safe. But it's this; you're gift that is almost certainly the reason for Aro wanting you. No human has ever had something puissant enough as a human. And now you have. Aro sees your potential."
I shook my head. I hate the reverence to his tone. I wasn't special. My gift wasn't powerful. It was erratic, impetuous. I had no control over it and it only left me drained, both physically and mentally. It could hardly be classified as a gift at all. A hindrance? Yes. A curse? Yes. A power? Gift? No. Carlisle wasn't looking at me now. His eyes were fixed on the wall behind my head, as if unwilling to meet my gaze when he said his next words.
"That's not all of course…" I looked up, unwilling for what knowledge he was about to give me. My head was filled enough as it was. "Edward told me," I cringed visibly at his name; Carlisle thankfully was still staring away from me. "That you're mother could be involved…it's the reason I wanted to talk to you. I have a theory… and your mother is at the epicentre of it all."
I nodded. My mouth was dry.
"The thing is Lucie; I've researched your family. It's what I've been focusing on really. And your mother's records… well… they're blank." He looked at me, a slight crease in his ivory forehead. "And in finding this," he continued, sweeping his blonde hair slightly, "I've come to the conclusion that you specifically - that is, your power inside you - aren't the only reason for the Volturi wanting you. Your mother might-"
But he stopped mid-sentence. Staring at me worriedly.
"Are you quite alright, Lucie?" His voice was alarmed.
"I-I'm fine…" I said again, but my voice trembled. I didn't know why the Volturi wanted me. But the word Ragnarök came to mind when I thought of that. Demetri had mentioned something about needing my blood as a sacrifice. I couldn't think longer on that though, a memory reverberating around my mind banished it.
I could see someone now, off in the distance, her hair ash blonde whipping ferociously round her face. Bright eyes flashing in the all encompassing darkness. The shrouded figures had halted at her re-appearance.
Her voice rang clearly again through the trees; more urgent this time. The last word rang shrill in my ears. Desperate of my seeming denial to the danger around me. I knew the word before it had left my mother's lips. It was the same advice she'd given last time. The one I didn't act on.
"Run."
I saw Carlisle check my temperature by lightly pressing his palm to my forehead, but I couldn't move.
My head was pounding again, now the nausea kept coming in stronger and stronger waves. It was a stupid irrational reaction. But I couldn't help it. The cold touch to my forehead mixed up with the mention of the person that - for two years - I'd tried to forget about, sent tumults of fear through me. It was a fear I'd never experienced before this moment, one tainted with a hidden nostalgia at what I'd lost.
Carlisle had noticed. His eyes adopted a look only doctor's could portray. Expertise and concern flashed across his youthful features. He'd understood what he'd caused by checking my temperature; he gripped my back in an attempt to prevent me from falling
But it was already too late.
***
Mhhmmms...?
Um. My thought are that Jasper thinks too much. If the whole feelings/emotions conversation confused you. Well. Let's just say you're not alone with that. If - by some miracle - you did understand all of Jasper's crypticness… then you're a genius.
Not MUCH of a cliffy. Ugh. I'm cross. This chapter turned out MUCH longer than I expected… I've had to split it into two… sorry if the plot seems to be moving along slowly. Next chapter is better I promise! (Mainly because there is more of EDWARD in it. I had to prevent myself from writing about him here. His hostility IS intentional. You'll see why next chappy :p)
I bet you all hate Edward right now huh? Well… hopefully he'll redeem himself. I seriously LOVE writing about Edward. Everything's just so much more flowy with him :p AND next chapter the pace will pick up. GAH apologies if this is seeming drawn out. Sorry!
Also, may I point out (and now the whole mention at the start of this might actually make sense…. Or maybe not… :p) that MOUSE HAS BEEN MY MUSE for this chappy! And I think I'm already besotted with that phrase. I reckon mouse is the ultimate muse. Jeeesh. (It's even alliteration. My English teacher'd approve… she's obsessed with alliteration. It's honestly scaring me.) How was Mouse (who is a girl cat people. A girl cat. Many people seem to think mouse is a male. Nope…darn.... Then it could have been Male Muse Mouse…What the heck am I talking about?! *suddenly shuts up sheepishly*… oohh sibilance… See? It's engraved in my head now. *grunts*) oh-so-very-inspirational you ask?
Well, I don't know really… I was just staring at her and muttering about how much of a hindrance she was being by lying across my arms as I typed… and then: BAM! Goes the whole epiphany-style-inspiration-explosion. Seriously… this chapter was killing me. One of the main reasons why I didn't update (besides being ludicrously busy) was literally because I couldn't write. I was just zapped. Yup. ZAPPED of ideas… and then, well, I looked at the lethargic Mouse and suddenly had too many ideas. ;)
Again. I don't like this chapter. And I wouldn't be surprised if no one reviews it (which would kinda suck :s) but don't be afraid to say if it's bad. I can always improve. And again: Mouse. Is. To. Blame.
Now. Depending on how motivated I become… there is a possibility that I will update this weekend :p (as an apology for the 12 days you had to wait for this…) Again, I'm really sorry for how late this is. I will update this story regardless of how many reviews I get (don't get me wrong here. I freakin' LOVE reviews. But if I get none… I'll still update. I write for my own enjoyment mostly. It's a miracle you lot can actually stand my writing, let alone want more of it! :p)
Now. (I only just realised how much I say: 'now' to get people's attention. Gosh. I'm so repetitive..) If I was smart, I would have saved this update for the weekend. Thing is. The GUILT GOT TO ME… and, I'm not smart. So basically, I updated in a weird late-but-earlier-than-planned way… what can I say? Basically, I'm not smart, guilt ridden… and just a very impatient person.
Again. Don't kill me. WHO would feed Mouse?
Oh and Remember Ze Challenge! Give me an awesome word. Heck, I might even include it in the chapter if you'd like. Or send a sneaky peaky? Ooohh! That's what I'll do… the best word receives a sneaky peaky. There. That's an offer you can't refuse.
Lily - who will personally fax out super apologetic nelephants (they're twice the size of your average apologetic nelephant.) for how late this update is.