Chapter 3

Emma did her best to slow down to finish her lunch. After three bowls of soup and two sandwiches, the pill was kicking in and she felt droopy. "I think I need to sleep." She said, her head feeling heavier and heavier. She tried to stand, but stumbled a bit.

Regina reached and caught her. "Careful. You don't need more bumps and bruises." She smiled softly.

Emma smiled back, a little lopsided. "Thanks. If the room would stop spinning, that would be helpful."

Mal chuckled. "I'll work on that. In the meantime, let's get you to bed. Did you want to try your room upstairs? You have an attached bathroom."

Emma rubbed her eyes. "I don't know if I'll make it."

"We'll help you."

The three slowly and carefully made their way upstairs and sat Emma on the bed. "I'll get your bag." Mal said as she tucked Emma in.

"This room is nice." Emma said, letting out a breath as she lay on the bed. "I feel like I'm laying on a cloud. Was this your bed, Gina?"

Regina smiled softly. "No, this was set up as our homework room when we lived here. Mine was down the hall. Mal will let you redecorate any way you want."

Emma smiled, though her eyes were closed. "I never want to wake up from this dream. I don't wanna find myself in another nightmare."

Regina listened and frowned. "You're safe Emma. I promise you're safe."

Mal came in and hung up Emma's bag on the closet door knob. "Let's let her sleep, Regina." She couldn't stop herself as she leaned down and kissed Emma's forehead. "You're safe now." She whispered.

Once back in the living room, Regina hugged Mal tight. "Thank you for taking Zelena and me in. I always knew we were lucky but now I see just how lucky. She has a real fear, Mal. Someone has really hurt her; maybe even more than one person."

Mal hugged Regina back. "I know, but we know she's safe now." She took Regina's hand and sat with her on the sofa. "I think since you two seem to get along, I need to talk to you about something. If she discloses anything to you about past abuse, I need to know. I'm not asking you to be a spy and I'll talk to her as well, but we need to make sure it's reported to Ingrid. We need to be sure no other child gets hurt by the same people."

"I do understand. I just hope that doesn't stop her from talking to me."

"Me neither, but I will explain it to her." She cupped Regina's cheek. "As far as you thanking me, it's not needed. I love you girls so much; there was no way I was letting you go."

Regina bit her lip. "Do you think she'll ever feel safe?"

"I hope so. I'm going to do everything I can to show her she is safe."

Regina smiled softly. "You're exactly who she needs."

The two chatted for a bit before Regina headed home. She came in and went to the kitchen where Zelena was. "Hey. Here's the soup from Auntie Mal." She handed her the jar. "We were really lucky, you know? She took us in when we had no one. We could have been split up, sent to horrible homes. I mean, I admit I didn't really think about it much before, but after talking to Emma, I can't stop thinking about it."

Zelena smiled softly. "I honestly didn't think about it either until recently." She leaned on the counter, loving these moments where her and Regina could just bond. "What's Emma like?"

"Strong." Regina said, averting her eyes as she felt herself blush. "But also scared."

"Scared?"

Regina nodded. "She's been hurt so many times, she ran away from foster care, and now she's back in it, she's so scared for it to happen again."

"But Mal would never hurt her."

"We know that, but we knew her all growing up before mom and dad died. We also didn't spend our childhood being passed around from stranger to stranger. I can't even begin to imagine how scary that would be."

Zelena sighed. "Me neither. We'll have to be here for her - make sure she has friends and that she knows she's welcome here." She bit her lip, wondering if she picked up on the clues right and wishing Regina would just tell her. "What does she look like?"

Regina kept her eyes down, feeling heat rise in her cheeks. She then looked right at Zelena. "She's beautiful. Even under those bruises and sad eyes, she's just beautiful."

Zelena smiled softly and took Regina's hand. "I love you, Regina. No matter what, I love and support you. You know that, right?"

Regina blinked back tears. "I do now. Thank you."

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

Mal left Emma alone for a few hours as she cleaned up and started dinner. Just before it was ready, she went up to check on her. She knocked softly on the door and came in, seeing Emma was awake, but laying down still, looking out the window to her side. When Emma faced her, Mal's heart sank when she saw the tears flowing from the young one's eyes. "Oh Emma. What's wrong?" She asked, coming over and carefully sitting on the bed. She wanted to just wrap Emma in her arms, but knew that could cause bad reactions. She gently stroked her forehead. "Does something hurt?"

Emma shook her head and sniffed. "I was just thinkinking about the last time I was in foster care. I know you're not them, I know you're different, but I can't help being scared. I feel so weak and vulnerable and I hate it. I have only had myself to rely on and honestly? I want nothing more than to feel safe enough to actually sleep, to actually relax, but something keeps stopping me. I haven't let myself sleep fully in so long."

Mal listened and knew time was the only thing that could fix this. However, maybe there were a few other things she could do. "I want to do everything to make you feel safe, Emma. I know my words aren't going to mean much right now, and that's understandable. Instead, there is a lock on your door that you are allowed to use. I also, unless you're medicated and I'm checking on you, will always knock first. Additionally, I can tell food has been something you didn't always have, so I'm going to get my mini fridge from the garage and fill it and put it in here. That way, you know you'll always have food." She smiled softly as Emma made the first move and moved her head to Mal's lap. She started stroking her hair. "I hope you do feel safe in time, Emma. I really want you to enjoy the rest of your childhood being a child and not the adult you've had to be."

Emma sniffed and closed her eyes. "Thank you. For understanding, for not being upset. This is so different from anything I've ever experienced. I don't even know the last time someone hugged me, or cared enough to check on me, or stroked my hair. I…I don't know the last time someone cared at all, other than August, but that wasn't the same."

Mal leaned down and kissed Emma's head. "I'm here, Emma. If you need a hug or a cuddle or anything, I'm here." She smiled when Emma shifted so she could hold her better. "And Emma? I'm going to be here for the rest of your life; not just until you turn eighteen, if you want me."

Emma wiped at a tear as she cuddled in with the woman; something she blamed on the medication because Emma Swan did not cuddle. "Thank you." She said quietly. "For everything." She then looked up at Mal, her watery green/blue eyes so full of hope and trust. "Please don't be a dream; don't be gone tomorrow."

Mal smiled softly and brushed away her tears. "I'll be here, Emma. I promise. Are you hungry? I can bring your supper up here."

Emma shook her head. "I'm so tired, and it's starting to hurt again."

Mal stroked Emma's forehead. "You can't take a pill yet, but close your eyes. I'll wake you when it's time with some crackers so you at least have some food."

"Stay here? Just a little longer. I just…I like this."

Mal smiled softly. "Okay, Flower. I'll stay for a bit." She smiled as she pulled Emma's blanket up higher and the girl snuggled in with her. Softly, she started humming as she stroked Emma's forehead. When it was clear the teen was in a deep sleep, she gently shifted her onto the bed. She tucked Emma in and quietly left her room. It felt weird to have dinner by herself, but she knew Emma needed sleep, needed to heal, so she wasn't upset about it.

When the time came, Mal made a sandwich and wrapped it up, just in case Emma got hungry through the night. She then grabbed a glass of ice water and a packet of crackers along with a pill and went up to Emma's room. She knocked softly and then came in. "Emma sweetheart, it's time for your pill." She said softly.

Emma groaned and stretched, stopping suddenly when pain coursed through her. "It hurts." She said, knowing she sounded pathetic, but not caring, as she sat up.

"I know, flower, but it will get better. I brought you crackers, but I also have a wrapped sandwich in case you get hungry. Also, if you do want more later, I'm right across the hall if you want to wake me, but you can help yourself to anything in the kitchen." Mal said, bringing her pill and water to the bed.

"Thank you. I hope I just sleep all night and feel better in the morning." Emma said, taking the pill and then some crackers. "I'm sorry I'm such trouble."

Mal gave Emma a stern look. "I don't want you apologizing for things that aren't your fault. You're not any trouble at all Emma, I promise." She sat on the bed. "Is there anything I can do for you to help?"

"You already are." Emma said and then sighed. "I do want to shower, but maybe tomorrow. I just…it's embarrassing, but I'm not sure I can lift my hands to wash my hair."

"Then we put your hair up and you can shower and wrap yourself up in a towel and then I'll wash your hair. Don't be embarrassed, Emma."

Emma kept her head down. "It's just…I don't…I don't like undressing around other people."

"Oh gods, of course. I'm so sorry. Let me think on this…if anything, you can wear a bathing suit, but I will figure this out."

Emma smiled softly and looked up. "I love that you understand. Maybe tomorrow I won't feel so against it, but right now, even though I trust you, I just can't bring myself to do that."

Mal kissed Emma's temple. "I understand. Do you want me to fill the tub so you can at least take a bath?"

Emma thought about it and nodded. "I think so. Is that okay?"

"It's perfectly okay. I just ask…just for now, that you not lock the door in case you do need help. I just don't want you in pain if you don't have to be."

Emma looked into Mal's eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity there. "I trust you."

About a half hour later, Emma called for Mal. "I think if you want to wash my hair with the shower head, the bubbles will keep me covered. If you don't mind, I mean."

"I don't mind at all." Mal said. "Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Mal did so and sat on her knees outside the tub. "Emma, I do need you to sit up just a little if you can." Emma did so and Mal started rinsing her hair. As she put in the shampoo, she hummed softly, massaging the blonde's scalp.

Emma's eyes slowly closed as she relaxed. "I don't remember the last time anyone did this for me. It feels so good."

Mal smiled softly as she rinsed it out and started the conditioner. Once it was in, she sat back a bit. "Let that soak for a while." She sat against the wall. "Emma…can I ask you something?"

"If you don't mind if I don't answer if I can't."

"Of course. I just…honey, was anyone good to you? Did anyone ever make you feel loved?"

Emma sunk lower into the tub. "They weren't all bad. Some just ignore me, some just left me alone, but no. No one ever made me feel loved or wanted." She looked over at the woman. "But I think that's changing. I hope I'm right anyway."

Mal smiled softly at her, trying to blink her tears for this precious soul away from her eyes. "You are. Emma, I care so much about you. I want you here and damnit, I already have so much love for you. I know it hasn't been a day, I know it sounds crazy, but I feel a connection to you."

Emma smiled at that. "I am trying so hard to believe you. I will, I promise, but it'll take a little bit."

"I expect nothing else. I expect to be tested, to be questioned, but I'll take any test, answer any questions, until you do finally believe me." She sat back up. "Let's finish with your hair." When Emma sat up, Mal rinsed it out and wrapped it in a towel. "I'll be just outside until I know you're safely out of the tub."

"Um…actually, can you maybe stay in here but turn around? I just feel really tired."

"I should have waited to give you your pill. I'm so sorry. Please, if you do need my help, I swear I won't hurt you."

"It's okay. I…I trust you." Emma said and pulled herself up. She got the towel around her, but felt odd trying to step out of the tub. "Um, can you maybe just give me your arm? The room is starting to spin."

Mal came over and carefully helped her out. "Do you think you can get dressed while I clean up in here and then I'll brush your hair? I have nice pajamas all ready for you on your bed and once you're feeling better, we'll go do some shopping."

Emma held onto Mal until she felt steady. "Yes. Thank you." She bit her lip. "You don't have to spend money on me. If you have old clothes of Regina's and Zelena's, I'm sure that would be fine."

Mal smiled softly. "That's what you have for now, but it's not going to be okay long term. I want you to have your own, Emma. You deserve it."

Emma blinked, hating the tears in her eyes. "No one has ever said I deserve anything good."

"Well you do. Now go get dressed, Flower."

Emma went to the door. "Why do you call me that? Flower?"

Mal went and gently cupped Emma's face. "Because you're opening up like a beautiful flower. All you need is love, food, and sunlight." She kissed her forehead.

Emma smiled softly. "Thanks." She then went into the room and started changing.

Mal took her time, not wanting to walk in on anything as she emptied the tub and hung up the towels. "Ready?"

"Ready. Thank you for making it a button up shirt. That made it much easier." Emma answered with a yawn. "I can just put my hair up in a messy bun."

"You can, but I'd love to brush and braid it." Mal said and smiled when Emma nodded. "Sit." She said kindly and then started brushing Emma's long blonde hair. "Your hair is a lot like mine."

Emma smiled, her eyes closed. "I noticed that. I like it." She bit her lip. "Mal? Why…why do you care so much?"

Mal thought about the answer and the question. "When I started foster care, it was literally only because my best friends died and their kids needed someone. But in my classes, I learned so much. Yes, I took only them because they needed to get through a tragedy and adding another child wouldn't have helped anyone. So when Ingrid called, not long after the girls left, I knew it was meant to be. And then, when I saw you…Emma, I can't explain it, but I just…instantly knew you were meant to be with me."

Emma smiled softly at that. "I hope you don't end up regretting that. I mean, I…I'm not bad. I don't set out to be a bad kid. I just…I don't always know the rules and yes, okay sure, sometimes, I did push it. I did test and they always failed. Sometimes, I didn't even realize I was doing it until it was too late. It's just so stressful, Mal. It's so…it makes me so anxious. I never know how to act, if I need to watch my back, if I can sleep safely. I never know when school is done if I'll have a home to come to or if they've decided to send me back. It gives me such anxiety. That's why I ran. I couldn't take it anymore. I just couldn't."

Mal finished the braid and wrapped her arms around Emma from behind. "If you ever feel that way here, please tell me so I can calm your worries."

Emma looked up at her. "Mal? Can you just promise me one thing? If that day comes where you do decide not to have me anymore…can you just tell me? I hate being surprised, thinking everything is going great and the next thing I know my social worker is picking me up from school and I never see them again. Please give me closure."

Mal's heart broke and she kissed Emma's cheek. "Emma, I don't think that day will ever come. I honestly want to give you a home here forever. But I get why you'd ask, and yes, I promise that if something ever happened where you had to leave, I will be there to say goodbye. But Emma, I really don't see that happening."

Emma smiled softly. "I hope not, but I just…I needed to ask. I hate when that stuff happens. Even if the foster parents weren't nice, it's not fun to just up and leave with no goodbyes." She then yawned. "I'm so tired. I don't want to be tired all the time."

"The doctor did say we can try alternating tylenol and ibuprofen if you think the pain isn't as bad. Maybe tomorrow we can try that? Then you won't be as tired. But…I mean you're going to still be a bit tired because your body is healing. I was planning a day on the sofa with mindless tv all day. Maybe a little shopping if you're up to it, but it's fine if you're not."

"I'll try that. I hate how these pills make me feel." She then smiled as she got into the bed. "That sounds perfect. All of it. Thank you so much." She then looked at Mal and took her hand. "I…I think I'm going to love you, Mal. I just…"

"It's okay, Precious. It's too soon for you and I respect that." She squeezed Emma's hand. "Do you want me to stay with you? I will try not to fall asleep."

Emma chuckled. "I would, but if you do fall asleep, it's okay." She cuddled in with Mal and easily fell asleep.

Mal waited a bit and then went to her room, getting into her own bed. She smiled softly as she thought of her new charge and vowed she'd make the last three years of her childhood be good years.