A/N: So I've decided to make this multiple parts because of how I want this to resolve, it might take up the next 2-3 chapters, I'm trying my best to keep this short but there is so much plot I can put in here and I have no self restraint ;-; I'm gonna make the end a little more fluffy so buckle in, and then the chapters after that will be a lot of just fluff and possibly smut so enjoy!

Brothers

Once Kaz had gone up the stairs, he hurled his cane to the ground, furious with himself and Jesper. How the fuck am I supposed to clear this up now? He sighed and ran his hand hastily through his hair, leaning against the door. He shut his eyes tight. Images of Jordie rushed his mind. He opened them once more and looked wildly about the room. His breathing was quick. He picked up the discarded cane and walked to his desk, taking residence in the chair behind it, setting his cane aside and attempting to regain his composure.

All he could hear was the voice of Jordie. All he could see was Jordie.

Get out of my head, get out of my head, get out, get out, get out, he thought.

"Get out!"

The shout rang through the empty room. Jordie began to depart from Kaz's brain, who took a deep breath through his nose. He laid his head on the back of his chair. And then he felt it. He felt her. She was in the room now.

"Inej," he muttered into the thick air.

"Kaz," she whispered back.

"What do you want?"

"To help. What happened down there?"

He turned his head to face her. "You saw and heard everything. You know what happened."

Even now, even when he was livid and seething and upset, he couldn't help but to notice her beauty. Her hair was tied back in its usual braid. The moonlight beamed on her skin; the light filtered through her long dark eyelashes and highlighted her cheeks. She might well have been the moon. He looked back to the ceiling.

"You both stooped low, you know that."

"What I said was nothing compared to what he said. Every single one of the Dregs heard it and I may well lose everything because of his damned statement, and he had no right. Don't you dare compare the two, Inej," his face and voice darkened. He heard her take a deep breath.

"You're right, he didn't have any business saying what he did nor in front of everyone, but what you said hurt him just as much, Kaz. He values your friendship and judgment more than he could admit to anyone—"

"I knew it would hurt him."

"—Then why? Why did you not expect repercussions? Why did you even speak it in the first place?"

Kaz didn't really have an answer. So instead, he got defensive. "No one in the Barrel needs 'friends,' that is a one way ticket to losing everything. Maybe he enjoys lounging about and maybe he doesn't need or want the risk anymore, perhaps he can have stupid meaningless bonds without consequence, but I can't and won't waste my time on it."

She didn't like that response. He knew she wouldn't.

"Do you really have to shut yourself down like this? Throw up your armor as soon as you get bored or annoyed?" she stepped closer to him. He kept the sour look on his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the moonlight glitter in her silky hair. Inej sighed. The knowledge that if he did not answer, if he disappointed her, she would slip out of the room and might never come back entered his mind. It made him speak.

"I've been trying," he croaked. She stopped her walk to the window and it was apparent she was listening to what he might say next. He gulped. "I've been trying." It was all he could bring himself to say, and it took everything in her to not flee to the rooftops.

"You should apologize to him."

"Not before he does." The words slipped out before he could stop them. "He has no idea who Jordie is— was. He has no business using that name."

Now she turned, completely facing him. She looked annoyed and in disbelief. He didn't bother questioning it, he didn't have to as she said, "He has no idea because you haven't told him! Saints, Kaz, I don't even know who that is." Though I can put it together. That was the real end of the sentence. They both knew it, but she wanted him to say it, and when could he ever deny her something she wanted? He didn't want to give it to her, not yet.

"I thought you said you would remove your armor, Kaz—" she was interrupted by his harsh rock salt rasp.

"For you, Inej, I am taking off my 'armor' bit by bit for you. Not for anyone else. Not for some fickle luxury such as friendship."

"Taking off your armor means opening up, and that means considering the concept of other such relationships. If you can't be on good terms with people who are supposed to be your friends, people who I care about, then you might as well just stop trying. I want all of your effort, all of you really trying, or I want none of it." She knew it was harsh. She knew it was something big to ask of him. She knew it might even be an insane ultimatum, but she couldn't bear to be around Kaz, especially not romantically, if he was not even going to try to not be cold towards the people she cared about.

He did not appreciate her ultimatum, but what could he do to fight it? Either he gave in or he lost Inej forever. He was not keen to do either, but right now he knew what idea he disliked more. Right as he felt she was about to leave, right as he was about to lose the opening, he muttered, voice shaking, "He was my brother." A pause. "I told Jes that it was someone I cared about."

"We both know that isn't enough for most people, Kaz."

She came closer to the desk. He sat up and their eyes met through the dim light.

"Right now I'm not the one that needs to know that. He'll come up here, he'll say sorry, and I expect you to do the same," she breathed. Reprimanding him like a child. She continued, "Don't lock yourself away. Please."

That please, that tone, made Kaz think he would rather shoot himself in his good foot before he denied her what she asked. He thought again that he might shoot himself just for thinking like that. He chose not to respond, and with that, she left. Disappeared. When she was gone, he let out a breath that he hadn't known he was holding. He leaned back in his chair and took up his cane, clutching onto it for support, despite the fact that he wasn't standing or using his bad leg. This is going to be an awfully long night.