Ch 2: Friendship

McCoy stood outside of Kirk's quarters, debating whether or not he should go inside. It was ridiculous; Kirk and Spock had been together since the start of their mission, and yet he still hadn't gotten over his feelings for Kirk. He had tried, Lord knows he had tried. Inevitably, there seemed to be no easy way for him to move past his feelings and solidify the friendship he had with Kirk. Something told him he may never be able to truly bury his feelings; it was likely that even if he fell in love with someone else, he'd still hold a place in his heart for Kirk.

However, his feelings were moot at this point in the game. Kirk and Spock were to be married, and Kirk was clearly thrilled at the thought. He still remembered the sheer happiness on his face when he ran into his office nearly a year ago. His voice had a glee in it that he had never heard him convey before. It was very obvious how happy Spock made Kirk, which should make McCoy happy in turn. But it didn't. It made him miserable.

He had told Chapel that he was going to move on. That he would forget how he felt about Kirk and simply be the supporting friend he needed to be. But as time passed, he found himself wishing more and more that Spock would slip up. Whenever they had a fight, McCoy pleaded to God that it was their last fight. That Kirk would finally say that he had enough of the cold-hearted green-blooded hobgoblin and longed for someone with a real heart. But that moment never came. Each time they fought, they made up again, and each time they made up, McCoy lost a little more hope.

Now that they were engaged, there was no way that they'd ever break up. Vulcans were an extremely monogamous race and never divorced. Technically this was a very admiral trait, one that the human race could have learned from and probably the only trait that McCoy respected the Vulcans for other than their profound logic. But in his situation it meant that there'd never be an opportunity for him and Kirk to be more than friends.

Chapel never said anything about it, but McCoy could clearly see that it tore her apart that he still pined away for Kirk. He hated to do it to her; she was a beautiful woman and a part of him really wanted to be with her, but he just couldn't bring himself to stop loving Kirk. What made it worse was that he was still very distrustful of women after what his last wife did to him. Perhaps that was why he clung so tightly onto his love for Kirk instead of pursuing things with Chapel.

McCoy cleared his head of the thoughts that plagued his mind and knocked on his door. Now was not the time to focus on himself; he had to put his own feelings aside to be the supporting friend that Kirk deserved. He had made other friends since he had become captain of the Enterprise, but he knew that Kirk valued him the highest out of them all.

Kirk called out from behind the door, "Come in!" Even with these two simple words, McCoy could hear the happiness in his voice. The feeling of a dagger in his heart mixed with a floaty feeling that made his chest feel oddly torn in two just by hearing the tone of his voice. He opened the door and found Kirk staring at his monitor intently. The screen showed details of the paradise planet Chapel had mentioned.

"Hey Jim," McCoy said, trying to sound as casual as possible. "How goes the anniversary plans?"

The smile that Kirk gave McCoy could have lit up the entire ship. In that instant, McCoy would have given anything to make Kirk smile that way for him. As much as he hated it, he envied Spock, who was the lucky recipient of brilliant smiles like that on a regular basis.

"This place is amazing Bones!" Kirk said, excitement ringing in his voice as he returned his focus to the monitor. He scrolled through the planet's details to provide McCoy with visual reference for what he talked about. "The planet's got incredible scenery! Beautiful plants, a beach side resort, gorgeous cliffs, waterfalls…and that's not all! It's like everything on this planet was built to entertain any and all types of people! There're museums and libraries for intellectuals, bars and clubs for party people, nature hikes and scuba diving for nature nuts, you name it, they got it! Christine was right; this place would be a perfect place to celebrate our anniversary and a great place for the crew to spend their shore leave!"

"Well, looks like she's actually useful for something!" McCoy joked. Kirk smirked at McCoy and said, "Oh don't be such a mean old codger, you know she'd do anything for you!"

McCoy's face fell when he heard Kirk say that. He hadn't come to talk about Chapel; he had come to talk about Kirk and Spock. It seemed Kirk didn't really care about that though. "When are you gonna make a move on her, man? Are you waiting for an engraved invitation or something? Or are you just scared?"

Turning away from Kirk, McCoy said, "I didn't come here to discuss my relationship with Nurse Chapel."

"Yeah, well it needs to be discussed," Kirk said, smiling. "She's a really sweet woman McCoy, and I know you feel something for her. You're not still trying to get over the divorce are you?"

"No, I could care less for that sad excuse for a woman!" McCoy blurted, staring at Kirk with fiery eyes. Kirk gulped, realizing he had pushed too hard in the wrong direction. "If you must know why I won't pursue Nurse Chapel, it's because I'd rather focus on our work relationship! She's trying to learn how to become a doctor, not how to marry one!"

Kirk laughed and shook his head. "Man, I've known you for over four years. I know that's a load of bullshit. There's something else that you're not telling me." McCoy turned his head away again, not wanting to look into those ocean blue eyes that probed him for information. Though his face was turned away, Kirk could see the pink tint of his face. "You still haven't gotten over me have you?"

McCoy may not have said anything, but his face betrayed his emotions. Kirk sighed. "I knew it. I was afraid that's what it was."

"So what if it is?" McCoy snapped. He stared at Kirk with his icy blue eyes. "I've been trying for a year and a half to stop thinking about you, but dammit I can't do it! You've weaseled your way into my heart and I can't pry you out of it! I don't know what kind of spell you cast on me, but trust me, if I could dispel it, I would! I want to move on! I want to pursue Christine! But every time I see your face or hear your voice my heart squeezes tight and I fall under your spell again!"

"Guess this is my curse," Kirk smirked. "I'm just too damn sexy for anyone to resist me, male or female."

"Oh get your head out of your ass you pompous bastard!" McCoy growled. Kirk laughed so hard he had to grip his stomach. McCoy crossed his arms and shot a furious look at the laughing Kirk. "Well I'm glad my misfortune is amusing to you!"

Kirk caught his breath just enough to reply to McCoy. "Oh relax would ya? It should be obvious that I'm trying to clear the cloud of despair you conjured up!" He clapped a hand on McCoy's shoulder and gave another one of his million dollar smiles that made his heart melt. "Look, it takes a while to get those kinds of feelings to dissipate. You spent a long time wanting to be with me and now that I'm unattainable, you can't help but want me even more."

McCoy's eyes rolled as he heard his friend spout a bunch of trash. Kirk saw this and shook his shoulder. "Hey man, I'm serious! At this point, you probably don't even really love me anymore; you just want me because I'm forbidden fruit! And that's great and all, but you got someone really great that'd give anything for you to give her a loving glance. Quit thinking about me and go after her! You'll regret it if you don't."

"I'm so glad you make it sound so easy," McCoy said sarcastically. "Now can we please stop talking about me and go back to talking about you and Spock? You've told me that this place is 'perfect' and all, but you still haven't told me what you're actually planning to do with Spock there!"

"Ah, but that's the beauty of it, Bones!" Kirk grinned. "I don't have to come up with a concrete plan if we go here! All I have to do is bring Spock there and we can come up with our plans while we're there! It'll be completely spontaneous and fun! We can go to whatever it is he wants! That way I don't take him somewhere that he might not like or that will be over-stimulating for him! He can try new things at his own pace and we can have fun together! It's perfect!"

McCoy rubbed his chin. "Well, it seems like it could work out, but do you think you'll be able to stand being pulled around to whatever it is that Spock is interested in? He doesn't seem like the adventurous type, so whatever he chooses could actually be pretty boring."

Kirk shrugged. "It's worth a try. You never know what Spock is capable of until he's put in the right situation. Besides, even if I wind up being bored out of my mind, at least I'll be bored with Spock, so it won't be too bad. As long as he has a good time and finally gets a taste of what 'fun' really is, anything I have to deal with will be more than worth it."

McCoy stared at his friend in slack jawed awe. "Wow," he said, "looks like this relationship with Spock has taught you some maturity!"

Grinning, Kirk slapped his friend on the shoulder. "See Bones? Being with that pointy-eared bastard has done me some good after all!"

Sarek stood alone as waited for Spock and T'Maire to beam down from the Santa Maria. T'Pau had instructed him to greet Spock and T'Maire and lead them to the conference hall after they arrived. He didn't understand why she insisted on bringing each and every Vulcan couple to the conference hall to perform the ceremony when they were perfectly capable of performing it on their own in private, but he assumed it was her way of ensuring that each betrothal was properly documented and on record. This made falsifying the ceremony much more difficult, but as always, he had thought of a solution ahead of time.

Two swirling forms began to materialize before his eyes which quickly became Spock and T'Maire. Simultaneously, they raised their hands to give Sarek the Vulcan salute, which he gave in response. In addition to the salute, he was greeted by a smile on T'Maire's face. Though she tried to submerge it, Sarek sensed her desire to embrace him. He was thankful that she refrained from such an open display of emotion when she stood outside the High Council's headquarters.

"It is good to see you again Father," Spock said, his voice monotone. In the musical voice that still betrayed her true feelings no matter how hard she tried to keep it even and emotionless, T'Maire added, "It has been a long time Sarek. It is good to see you are well."

Sarek nodded at the two youths before him. "It pleases me to see that you two have made it here safely." Spock and T'Maire came closer to Sarek and awaited further instructions. "I have been instructed to lead you two to the conference hall to perform the engagement ceremony. We will make our way there at once." In a low voice, he added, "Though we will be in the audience of T'Pau and the rest of the High Council, you will still be able to falsify the link. Instead of a life bond, you will form a friendship link before the High Council. That will allow you two to satisfy their wishes without becoming betrothed."

Silently, Spock and T'Maire acknowledged Sarek's plan and followed him to the conference hall. As they walked, Spock thought about what he and T'Maire were about to do. He hadn't anticipated needing to perform the engagement ceremony in front of not only T'Pau, but also the High Council. What seemed like a perfect idea was taking an unwanted turn. He knew that simply going through the motions wouldn't be good enough to fool any Vulcans that witnessed the ceremony, as their telepathic powers would be able to pick up on the connection they didn't make. Now he was guaranteed to be stuck with T'Maire until one of them died now, a thought that made his stomach churn.

After walking for a short time, the three Vulcans arrived in the conference hall. Though the High Council was not nearly as high up as they had been in the conference hall on Vulcan, their seats were still perched at a daunting height above them. Spock swallowed his nervousness down, not wanting the Council to pick up on the fact that linking with T'Maire was the last thing he really wanted to do.

In a strong voice that echoed through the hall, Sarek announced their arrival. "Council, T'Pau, as instructed, I have brought Spock and T'Maire here to perform the engagement ceremony. With your permission, we will begin immediately."

T'Pau nodded, her face grim. On either side of her sat the members of the High Council. "Very well, you may proceed." Sarek turned to face the two and allowed an apologetic look to grace his features. This isn't what he wanted for his son, but at least he had chosen his "mate" wisely. Had he picked any other Vulcan woman, Spock would surely be forced to form a proper life link and mate with a woman he had no guarantee of loving.

He turned to face Spock and T'Maire and nodded. Spock and T'Maire sat down on the floor and faced each other. They each extended their left hand and placed on each other's face. Closing their eyes, they focused on each other mentally and spoke in unison: "My mind…to your mind. My thoughts…to your thoughts. Our thoughts together…our minds are one.

Spock felt the world around him transform as he mind melded with T'Maire. When Spock opened his eyes, he found that he stood in a field filled with wildflowers. The sky above them was bright blue, large fluffy white clouds scattered throughout it. A strong yet pleasant breeze blew through the trees around them and blew flower petals into the air. Spock looked at T'Maire in wonder. He hadn't imagined that such a place would be seen in a Vulcan's mind. Then again, T'Maire was not a typical Vulcan.

She gave Spock a warm smile and said, "So, it looks like we'll be bonded for the rest of our lives in one way or another."

Spock nodded. "I apologize that we have been forced into such a situation, however, we are fortunate that my father mentioned the High Council's intentions in advance. Now I will still be allowed to be life mates with Jim, and you will also be allowed to choose your own life mate."

T'Maire gave a laugh and looked down at the flowers at her feet. "If things were different, I wouldn't necessarily be upset that we'd become life mates." She raised her head and smirked at the surprised look on Spock's face, her face a deep green.

"At any rate, I'm glad to say that we'll be linked in some way for the rest of her lives. I know you don't think very fondly of me Spock, but I've always cared deeply for you. You've already chosen your life mate, and I don't plan on interfering in any way, not after seeing the bond you share. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you."

It was Spock's turn to turn green in embarrassment. He now resented the ill feelings he had towards T'Maire. He had always had an inkling that she cared more deeply for him than she led on, but hearing it made the heavy feeling of guilt weigh him down. T'Maire picked up on his guilt and laughed lightly. "Come on, I didn't tell you that because I wanted you to feel guilty. I told you because it'd be better to tell you up front than to have you pick up on it after we make the link."

He stood silently for a moment, and then said, "If that is the case, then I should also tell you something before we make the link. I do not hate you T'Maire. If anything, I envy you. You're a full blooded Vulcan, yet you are open with your emotions. You do not let the restraints of our race's expectations dictate who it is that you are and how you act. For that, I respect you far more than I have let on. I wish I had your bravery."

T'Maire walked through the flowers toward Spock and hugged him tightly. Hesitantly, he raised his arms and returned her hug. Her eyes closed, she said, "You're braver than you give yourself credit for Spock. You're the child of two worlds, but instead of letting it tear you apart, you do all you can to prove your worth. Even with your mother gone and your one true love a human, here you stand defying the High Council and living your life as you desire. If that is not bravery, I don't know what is."

Spock allowed himself a smile as he closed his eyes and felt the familiar warmth of a founding link merge them together. For the first time, he was happy to be T'Maire's friend. When he opened his eyes, he was back in the conference hall, staring directly at T'Maire's face. She stared back at him and smiled. He heard her voice in his mind: Now we will be together until death do us part. Maybe not in the way I'd like, but I can definitely live with it.

Nodding, Spock turned to his father. "It is complete," he said. "We are now linked." Sarek turned to the High Council and received a nod from each one. T'Pau stood from her seat and spread her arms open. "From this day forward, Spock and T'Maire are life mates. Let it be recorded so all will know." She lowered her arms and looked down at the three Vulcans below her. "You are free to go."

Bowing, they turned and left the conference room. As they left, Spock spoke mentally to T'Maire: And now we've officially 'pulled the wool over the Council's eyes', as humans would put it.

Yes, indeed we have, T'Maire replied, laughing mentally. But the real question is what do we do when you and Kirk decide to get married? How are you going to explain that the Council? Or better yet, how do you plan to explain that to Sarek?!?

Spock took a deep breath and sighed. I will 'cross that bridge' when the time comes. Until then, we'll just have to keep my betrothal to Jim a secret from my father.

Not a very good idea if you ask me. He did just put his position on the Council on the line for your benefit. Keeping him in the dark only makes more trouble for you. Why not just come out and tell him?

Spock decided not to respond, but instead kept his eyes facing forward. T'Maire sighed and shrugged. It technically wasn't any of her business what happened between Spock and Sarek, so she backed off. She just hoped that everything worked out for the best and that this didn't come back to bite Spock in the butt.