Ch 18: Vengeance and Sacrifice

For the second time that day, Sarek's meditation was interrupted, this time by a loud pounding on his front door. His eyes opened as he let out a sigh of frustration. Why was it that everyone seemed to want to bother him now of all times? He unfolded his legs and rose to his feet. As he moved through his house toward the door, there was another loud pounding. Sarek began to feel that perhaps there was an emergency, as no Vulcan would knock with such vigor otherwise.

The look on Sarek's face was one of priceless astonishment when he saw not a Vulcan face before him, but the face of Captain James T. Kirk. At that moment in time Kirk wished that he had a camera to capture the look on Sarek's face for all eternity, but the image in his mind would have to suffice. His lips curled up into a cruel yet polite smile and said, "Good evening Sarek. Could you spare a minute to talk with me please?"

Sarek recovered from his initial surprise and regained his stony facial expression. "I was in the middle of my meditations, but considering it is not often I receive a visit at my personal residence from the captain of the Enterprise, my meditations can wait. Please come in."

Kirk stepped inside and marveled at the Vulcan's home. It didn't have the warmth that Spock Prime's home did, but considering his was more of a traditional Vulcan home without the human touches that Prime's home had, it was still impressive. None of the furniture that was found in his living room was erroneous; there were just enough chairs to seat multiple people in case he had to hold a meeting in his home. The dining room table was large enough to seat him and three other people. There was a fireplace, but unlike the one in Prime's home, it was only lit if the weather outside was cold enough to warrant it. The walls were bare save a few artifacts hung up solely for aesthetic reasons.

"What is it you wish to discuss Captain?" Sarek asked, drawing Kirk's attention away from his decor.

Kirk turned to Sarek and gave his best diplomatic smile. "I came to talk to you about Spock."

Sarek sighed. "It seems that Spock is quite the popular topic today. What is it that you have to say about him?"

"I'm going to tell Starfleet about our relationship."

Though Sarek's facial expression remained as stony as before, his eyes slowly widened at Kirk's words. Slowly, he said, "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me," Kirk said, smirking. "I'm going to tell Starfleet about our relationship."

Sarek's eyes stared at Kirk with the same laser hot stare he had given Spock and Prime earlier. "Are you aware of the implications of telling Starfleet that you are fraternizing with your first officer?"

If Sarek had expected Kirk to back down, or even to falter, he was sadly disappointed. Kirk took a step closer to Sarek and looking him dead in the eyes with an equally intense stare said, "Yeah, I do. It sure as hell beats you trying to use that as blackmail to keep him here with you on New Vulcan."

"Telling Starfleet will not change anything in regards to Spock staying here with me."

"I don't intend it to," Kirk said with the same cruelly polite smile he greeted Sarek with. "I just want to give you a smaller pile of bargaining chips to try and play against him with."

"This is not a game Captain…"

"No, it's not," Kirk interrupted. The smile on his face vanished as he became deadly serious. "That's why I don't appreciate you trying to tie Spock down to this hunk of rock so you can decide whether or not he should be in a relationship with me. I'm going to be very frank with you Sarek: I don't take threats to my relationship with Spock lightly, and you may be his father, but I'm not letting you stand between me and him. You don't approve of him being engaged to me? Fine. But don't put him in a position where he has to choose between Starfleet and me. It's not fair and it's not right."

"You want to talk about what you believe is not right?" Sarek said, closing the gap between them. "I will tell you what is not right. It is not right for two high ranking Starfleet officers to behave unprofessionally together. It is not right for a father to be left in the dark about his child's romantic life. It is not right for a father to walk in on his son and his secret fiancé practicing sodomy in another's household!"

"Is that what this is about?!?" Kirk shouted. "Is this all about the fact that you walked in on me and Spock? Well you know what, I'm sorry! It's not exactly like I wanted to have sex in someone else's house, but Spock carted me off like some cave man! Trust me, having you walk in on us was not on my to-do list for the day!"

"Spare me your humor!" Sarek spat. "I could care less how you feel about the subject! I can forgive the fact that Spock's judgment was lax due to his pon farr, but what I cannot forgive is the fact that your relationship was kept a secret from me!"

"That makes two of us!"

"You dare to imply that this was Spock's doing?!?"

Kirk glared at Sarek. "I don't believe you! You think that it was my idea for Spock to keep our relationship a secret from you?"

"As you humans say, 'if the shoe fits, wear it.' I have heard of your promiscuous ways Captain Kirk. I have heard of the numerous female conquests you had while you were in the academy, and while I never thought I would see the day that your interests would sway to men, I rue the day you seduced my son into thinking he was in love with you and forcing him to hide it from me!"

"I DID NOT SEDUCE SPOCK!"

Kirk was furious. He had dealt with people having the wrong idea about him for years, but to have his future father-in-law accuse him of seducing Spock was not something he was going to tolerate. He stuck his arm out and pushed Sarek against the door, his molten hot gaze threatening to set the Vulcan's head on fire. He pointed at Sarek and rumbled, "Now you listen to me, and you listen good, because I will never repeat myself again. You can say whatever you want about me, but if you ever say that I seduced Spock or otherwise imply that our love is anything but genuine again, so help me God I will rip those pointed ears right off of your head and shove them where the sun doesn't shine!

Kirk ignored the surprised and somewhat frightened look on Sarek's face. It was highly likely that even in his old age, Sarek could easily trounce Kirk, but to see such an explosion of emotion directed at him was still jarring. "Now I get that you love your son and that you want the best for him. I may not be a parent, but that doesn't mean I don't understand. That being said, I will not have you slandering me simply because you don't want to believe that Spock could ever have fallen in love with me of his own accord. If you knew half of what Spock and I have been through together then you'd know that what we share isn't just some casual fuck here and there. So you take your six months with him and you listen carefully to everything he tells you, and if you still don't believe him? Mind meld with him. That will give you all the proof you need because the mind doesn't lie."

He released Sarek and stepped back. They stared so intently at each other that if either faltered for a minute, the other's head might explode into pieces. Sarek straightened his outfit and took a step forward away from the door. "I have heard your words Kirk and will keep them in mind," he said. "I simply hope you know that by telling Starfleet about your relationship with Spock, you are potentially throwing both his and your careers away."

"I'm sure it'll sound better coming from me than from the Vulcan ambassador," Kirk said. "And if it comes down to it, Spock and I could always move to Iowa and live the rest of our lives together."

Sarek opened the door and held it open for Kirk. "You presume he would still be willing to be with you after that."

Smirking, Kirk said, "Obviously you don't know your son as well as you think you do," before walking through the door. He stopped just as Sarek began to close the door on him and put his hand on it, preventing it from moving any further. "Oh, and one last thing? Your son gives excellent blow jobs."

Kirk barely stepped out of the way in time to avoid having his hand slammed into the door. Sarek held a hand against the door and gasped for air as he allowed himself to visibly show his anger. His free hand balled into a fist and punched the door in front of him. Sarek had been mad before, but never as mad as he was right then and there. He now understood why his son had almost choked the infuriating blonde man to death so many months ago…

The elevator door to the bridge opened to reveal a rather unhappy looking Captain Kirk. He walked over to the place where Uhura sat and said out loud, "Sulu, take us out of here at warp one. Any direction will do." When he saw Sulu turn in his chair and begin inputting the commands into the console, he turned to Uhura and said, "Uhura, I need you to make two transmissions for me, one for Admiral Pike at Starfleet and one for T'Maire at Star Base 215."

Uhura raised an eyebrow at Kirk and was about to question why he needed to contact both Starfleet and Star Base 215 when she spotted the fire in his eyes. She knew better than to question his orders when he had that look and held her tongue. Instead she nodded and said, "Aye Captain," before pressing multiple buttons on her console. "Should I patch them through to the telecomm in your quarters?"

She waited for a response that never came. When she turned around, Kirk was already gone. Frowning, she huffed, "Guess that's a 'yes'…"

Kirk tapped impatiently on his desk as he waited for a transmission to come in. He had been waiting for five minutes and was getting rather antsy. Dammit, what's taking her so long? He raised a fist and was about to pound on the desk when he heard her voice crackling over the intercom.

Captain, she said, I've gotten a response from T'Maire; she's ready to talk to you now if you're available.

"It took you long enough," Kirk snapped. "What about Starfleet?"

Uhura's voice was decidedly less polite after Kirk's little quip. It looks like Admiral Pike has better things to do than sit around and wait for you to report to him, so he said he'll send a transmission when he's got a moment to talk.

Kirk closed his eyes and bit his lip. Uhura had been really good about not being sassy with him, but he had to admit he deserved it this time. Softening his voice, he said, "Thank you Uhura. I'm sorry about my tone. Can you transfer T'Maire to my telecomm please?"

Of course Captain, Uhura said, regaining some of her former politeness. If something is bothering you, you can talk to me about it later if you like. I know it's not Saturday, but I think I could squeeze you in to my oh-so-busy schedule.

Laughing genuinely for the first time in the last day, Kirk said, "Thanks Uhura. I'll probably take you up on that offer."

The screen in front of him glowed with the green "Incoming Transmission" words he was used to seeing whenever transmissions were rerouted to his telecomm. He pressed the button to accept the transmission and saw T'Maire's smiling face.

"Hey Jimmy!" she said in a cheery voice. "This is quite a surprise! What possessed you to send me a transmission? Did you miss the sound of my voice?"

Kirk laughed lightly at the charismatic Vulcan and found himself wishing that all Vulcans were as friendly as she was. "I did, but that's not the reason why I sent a transmission to you. I need to talk to you about Spock."

"Oh?" She tilted her head to the side and asked, "What's going on with Spockie? You two didn't have a fight, did you?"

"No, nothing like that…it's a bit of a long story actually…"

Kirk told T'Maire everything that had happened since they moment she dropped Spock off. Her eyes were wide the entire time he told the tale of how their shore leave led to Spock's premature pon farr and the conflict with Sarek. Her hands were pressed against her mouth when she heard that Spock was to remain on New Vulcan for six months while Sarek judged the validity of their relationship.

"That's horrible!" T'Maire cried. "I can't believe Uncle Sarek would do such a thing!"

"You and me both," Kirk said, crossing his arms. "I thought that was a very un-Vulcan thing for him to."

"Indeed it was! I'm so disappointed in him, causing his son pain intentionally like that…" T'Maire frowned. "That tears it! I didn't think this whole 'falsifying a life bond' thing was a good idea in the first place! I'm going to contact the Vulcan High Council and tell them the truth!"

Kirk leaned forward and quickly said, "Whooooa, no, no, no! Don't do that!"

T'Maire looked at Kirk in confusion. "Why not?!?" she asked. "I see no reason to continue this lie if Uncle Sarek is going to behave like that!"

"Because," Kirk said, "telling the Vulcan High Council the truth after you and Spock just became 'engaged' two weeks ago won't just look bad for Sarek; it'll look bad for you and Spock too!"

T'Maire's eyes widened. "Oh…you're right. I didn't think about that…"

"I figured you hadn't," Kirk said. "Look, I've already thought of how to handle that situation. According to Sarek, any engagement ceremony that wasn't performed before the Vulcan High Council is about as good as no engagement ceremony at all, right?"

T'Maire nodded. "Any and all engagement ceremonies must be recognized and approved by the Vulcan High Council in order for the couple to be married legally. Even if a Vulcan female were to marry a non-Vulcan male, their engagement must be performed before them or they will never be legally wed, even if by the non-Vulcan party's laws they are. That means that at any time, the Vulcan High Council could force a Vulcan to divorce their current spouse and marry the life mate that's documented in their records."

"Exactly. So what I need you to do is sometime within the next six months contact the Vulcan High Council and request the nullification of your engagement. Do nullifications have to be done before them as well?"

"I…I don't know," T'Maire stuttered. "To my knowledge, no life bond has ever been severed by choice."

"Then contact Surok. I'm sure he'll know for certain whether it's been done or not. I'm willing to bet any Vulcan you ask will probably tell you differently, especially when you guys are in your current predicament."

"It's likely I'll have to make special arrangements in order for them to approve it…"

"Do whatever you can. I can't make my engagement with Spock legal until yours has been stricken from the records."

T'Maire nodded. "Alright Jim, I'll contact Surok and ask him what he knows about nullifying a life bond."

Uhura's voice called over the intercom. Captain, I have Admiral Pike waiting to speak to you.

"Crap, I gotta go," Kirk said. "I'm telling Starfleet about Spock and me."

T'Maire's eyes looked as though they were going to fly out and hit the screen in front of her. "You're telling Starfleet?!? Jim, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Honestly?" Kirk said, "Not really. But I have to do something to give Sarek less of an edge against Spock. If Starfleet knows and approves of it then a giant part of his argument is null and void."

She nodded and said, "I trust your judgment. Good luck Jim." She blew a kiss that Kirk accepted with a smile. With a finger wave, T'Maire ended the transmission. The green words flashed on his screen once more as he pressed the button to accept the transmission.

This time Admiral Pike's face appeared on the screen. His hair was noticeably grayer than the last time they had spoken, but Kirk chose not to mention it.

"Captain Kirk," Pike said. "You requested to speak to me?"

"Yes sir, I did," Kirk said, his tone taking on a more official and respectful tone. "I have something rather important and personal that I need to speak to you about. Is this…uh…is this a secure channel?"

Pike raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of him. "Yes it is; I'm contacting your through my own private channel, which is completely unmonitored. What do you need to talk to me about?"

Kirk took a deep breath and said, "It's regarding me and Commander Spock sir… We…uh…we're, uhm…" Now that Kirk was finally sitting in front of Admiral Pike, he found himself losing the courage to tell him the truth.

Fortunately, Kirk didn't need to broach the subject; Pike brought it up for him. "You and Spock are in a relationship. A monogamous one. He proposed to you last year and you said 'yes'. You spent your shore leave celebrating your engagement together."

Flabbergasted by Pike's knowledge of his relationship with Spock, Kirk stuttered, "H-how did you…"

Pike cut him off. "Bryce Peters has sent me numerous complaints about the 'sacrilegious relations' between the two of you. I believe the most recent complaint was in regards to 'Spock's inappropriate fondling of the captain in the middle of the hallway for all to see'. Sound about accurate?"

Kirk turned a deep red and nodded. "Uh, Spock was, uh, going through pon farr at the time…"

Pike put up a hand to silence Kirk. "Please, say no more. Please. If you really feel the need to explain yourself to me then you can. Just…leave out the gory details if you catch my drift."

Kirk nodded again and explained the story of his unintentional romance with Spock. He told him everything from the mind meld with the alternate version of Spock to pon farr faux pas with Sarek. Pike reacted to the story at the appropriate times to show that he was not only listening but actually cared about how the two leading officers of the Enterprise became the most talked about couple on the ship. He also explained their current situation involving Sarek and Spock's seemingly random request to take six months leave helping out on New Vulcan. When Kirk finished, he looked and felt as though a large weight had been lifted off of his chest. Oddly enough, it felt good to tell Pike about his relationship with Spock. In fact, he felt very comfortable telling the whole thing to him, as if he were speaking with his father about it.

"Well," Pike said with a smile, "that's quite a tale of romance you got there Jim. Perhaps when you retire from Starfleet you should write it out as a novel and sell it. I'm sure there are plenty of lonely housewives that would love to read about your torrid affair."

"Oh, ha, ha," Kirk laughed. "Glad you think our story would sell."

Laughing, Pike said, "I do. At the very least I know a handful of women in my family alone that would read your story cover to cover." They laughed together for a moment and then grew quiet. "So," he said. "You're coming to me about your relationship because you don't want anyone to hold it over you and Spock anymore, is that it?"

"Yeah, that's exactly why. Sarek used the fact that Starfleet doesn't know about us to make Spock do what he wants him to do." Kirk shook his head. "I don't want to give anyone else the chance to use that against us."

"I understand," Pike nodded. "And I have to say, I'm rather proud of you for coming to me personally to tell me. Granted, I already knew because of Bryce, but uh…well, let's just say he's as notorious for his bigotry as you were for your womanizing in the academy. I've taken everything I've heard from him with a grain of salt. It means more to me to have the story from the horse's mouth rather than through the grapevine.

"You probably know that there are select members of Starfleet that are still rather…unconvinced that your promotion to captain was a wise choice, but considering you're coming forward yourself to announce your relationship with your first officer, everything should work out just fine. Add the fact that considering your previous behaviors you've matured and decided to settle down and have a monogamous relationship, I believe that will make your case look better.

"Luckily for you, I've been your advocate since you joined Starfleet. People have come to trust my judgment of you, so if they know that you two have my blessing, I'm sure more than enough people will follow my lead and approve it."

Kirk breathed a sigh of relief and smiled brightly at Pike. "Thank you sir. That really means a lot to me…"

"Don't mention it. It's the least I can do." Pike smiled and said, "Just do me one favor Jim."

Kirk shifted forward in his seat. With all that Pike was doing for him, he'd do just about anything in return. "What's that?"

"Invite me to the wedding."

Laughing lightly, Kirk said, "Sure. It'd be an honor to have you there with us sir. You can even walk me down the aisle."

"Jim, this is a private channel. If you want, you can call me Chris."

Kirk was taken aback by Admiral Pike's request to call him by his first name. True, he had known Pike for about five years, but still, not once had he ever mentioned that he should be referred to in such a casual manner. He wasn't sure what it meant and he wasn't sure how to take it. So instead of trying to make sense of it, he went with it.

"Okay…Chris," Kirk gave a half-smile. "I'll try to remember that."

Pike took a moment to just smile and look at Kirk fondly and then said, "We'll be in touch Jim. Try to make the most of the next six months without Spock. With luck they'll pass by before you know it."

With these last words Pike ended the transmission. Kirk sat for a moment staring at the screen. The talk with Admiral Pike had gone a lot better than he expected it to, and that made him feel a lot better. He felt hopeful that this was a sign that things would be okay, and without Spock by his side, it was all he had.

Sarek was finally able to meditate without any further distractions. No one else burst in to talk to him about Spock, no one else argued with him, and no one tried to reason with him about his decision to hold Spock on New Vulcan…

…At least no one physical.

The smell of sandalwood transported him back to his old home on Vulcan before it was destroyed. When he saw the distinctly human touches of decor and the crackling fire that served no purpose other than to warm one's soul, he felt himself relax. Life had been so much colder without Amanda by his side, but at least he could see her in meditation.

He saw the top of her dark brown hair peak over her favorite chair in front of the fire. When Spock was born, she spent many days and many nights sitting in that chair nursing him and singing him to sleep. The sweet memories of his family brought a smile to his face as he walked over to see her.

To his jolting surprise, the look on her face was not a serene one. Instead of the warm, comforting smile he had fallen in love with, he saw a frown. When Amanda frowned as vehemently as she was at that moment, it was always a bad sign.

Sarek swallowed hard and asked, "Amanda, why do you wear such a look on your face?"

She stared back at him with unusually cold eyes. He wondered if his own eyes had that degree of coldness to them when he was upset as well. In a low voice, she said, "You know exactly why I have this look on my face."

He cringed. If that was her response then that meant she had seen the whole ordeal between him and Spock, and likely the one between him and Kirk too. He opened his mouth to explain himself, but she cut him off.

"Save it. Nothing you tell me can excuse what you've just done to our son. You've purposely hurt him so you can try and control his destiny in a way that better suits your beliefs."

"Amanda, I was only doing what I could to ensure his future. I do not believe that choosing Captain Kirk as a mate was a wise decision. Starfleet looks down on fraternization between its officers…"

"…and yet the majority of Starfleet marriages are to other Starfleet officers," Amanda interrupted. "I believe you're twisting Starfleet's policy on fraternization to suit your cause. I may not have been a member of Starfleet, but I know for a fact that what Starfleet looks down upon isn't the development of lasting monogamous relationships, but casual sexual encounters with no other purpose than sating one's lust."

"That is exactly my point," Sarek said. "I know all about Kirk's 'romantic' history and I don't believe for a minute that he truly loves Spock."

She stared at Sarek in disbelief. "You mean you're basing this entire thing on the fact that he slept around in the academy?!? You're not going off of anything that's happened after that?" She shook her head. "I'm disappointed in you. I never thought you'd make assumptions like that without knowing the facts."

Sarek raised an eyebrow at her. "And you do?"

She stood from her seat and glared at Sarek. "As a matter of fact, yes, I do. You wouldn't know this but Captain Kirk put his life on the line to save your son from insanity. The destruction of Vulcan and my death took a larger toll on him than you ever saw. His display on the bridge was nothing compared to what he was going through inside his mind. If it weren't for the fact that Kirk mind melded with him, your son would be in a mental institute right now! Where would his glorious career in Starfleet be then?"

Sarek remained silent for a moment. It was true that he knew next to nothing about what happened between them after they set off for the first mission after the Nero conflict, but he never imagined that his son had been under that amount of stress.

Amanda saw the look in Sarek's eyes and came closer. Putting her hand on his face, she softened her tone and said, "Much between Kirk and Spock has happened beyond your watchful eyes. You've seen their professional endeavors, but other than the incident in Surok's home, you've seen nothing of their personal interactions. There is chemistry between them that overshadows our own. Captain Kirk is more than just Spock's superior officer; Captain Kirk is Spock's soul mate. They complete each other. Neither can reach their true potential without the other."

"If that is the case," Sarek said, "then their time apart will only strengthen their bond, not weaken it." He placed a hand over hers on his face and looked lovingly into her eyes. "I do not wish to dismiss all that you have said my love, but in order for me to truly believe that what you say is true, I must hear it from Spock's lips, not yours. I must see and feel the love he truly has for Captain Kirk and evaluate it for myself before I can allow their relationship.

"I will admit that while I have no aversion to our son picking a human mate, I would have preferred if he had chosen a female. However, it is not up to me to choose for him, which is why I helped him falsify a life bond with T'Maire. It is up to me to approve of his choice in a mate. When the Enterprise returns for Spock in six months time, I will also evaluate Kirk's true intentions. Even if Starfleet approves, if I do not, then by my word their life bond will be severed and they will be separated. However if what you say is true, regardless of my own personal feelings, I will support their engagement and assist them in making it an officially recognized one by the Vulcan High Council."

Sarek raised a questioning eyebrow at his dearly departed wife. "Does this please you?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Honestly, no, it doesn't. I don't feel like it is up to you to determine whether the love Kirk and Spock share is legitimate or not." She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. Smiling, she added, "But by doing so, it shows just how much you care about your son. You don't want him to risk throwing away both his career and Kirk's career in Starfleet for something that is ill-based, and more importantly, you don't want to see him get hurt. Just be certain that you make that clear during these next six months dear."

Sarek pulled his wife close and held her tightly, breathing the smell of sandalwood in deeply. He knew that when his meditations ended she would be gone, even if the smell of her was not. He pulled her back just enough to give her a tender kiss that he filled with every bit of the love he had for her. Pressing his forehead against hers and smiling ever so slightly, he said, "I will do my best."