Ch 19: (Dis)Comforting

"I said no and I mean no!"

Kirk chased McCoy down the hall from the mess hall. It was obvious that the doctor was trying to lose him, but Kirk wouldn't have it. "Awww, come on Bones! I already asked Uhura and she said it was okay! We're meeting around 22:00, so it's not like it'll interfere with your shift! Plus everyone's in perfect health so I doubt you'll be called in at all once your shift is over!"

McCoy picked up his pace in an effort to out walk Kirk. Of course, with only his quarters or sick bay to retreat to, he knew the effort was wasted. "Jim, I am the ship's chief medical officer; I can't just drop everything because you want to spend the night gossiping in your pajamas and eating ice cream!"

"We are not going to be gossiping!" Kirk sighed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. "I'm going to talk to Uhura about what happened with Spock and it would mean a lot to me if you joined us!"

"No means no!"

"Come on, quick being a chicken! Look, if the ice cream and pajamas are what's bothering you about going, you can show up in whatever you want and bring some alcohol!" He lunged forward and grabbed McCoy by the shoulder, turning him around to face him. "Bones, seriously, I'm in a bad way. I need both you and Uhura right now to help me feel better."

McCoy shoved Kirk's hand off of his shoulder. "Dammit I'm a doctor, not a therapist! If you think you might be suffering from depression I can give you a hypospray filled with anti-depressant!"

Kirk shuddered at the thought of McCoy stabbing him in the neck with the hypospray. "No, absolutely not. You're not jabbing me with a hypospray, you're coming with me to Uhura's room later tonight!"

"How many times do I have to say this before it sinks through your thick ass skull?!? Nnnnooooooo!"

Clasping his hands together and giving his best kicked puppy dog eyes, he stared at McCoy and begged, "Come on! I really want you to be there with me! Pleeeeeeeaasseeee??"

He wasn't sure how Kirk did it, but he always managed to make his eyes seem to shimmer and sparkle whenever he gave him those eyes. He tried to resist, but his will was beginning to falter. "No Jim! I said…dammit quit looking at me with those eyes! I'm not going to…I said stop it! I don't wanna go!"

"But I'm needy!" Kirk pleaded, eyes beginning to fill with tears. "You can't just leave your best friend alone in his sadness when he needs you the most! What would Christine say?!?"

McCoy paused for a moment and contemplated Chapel's reaction to his ditching Kirk in his time of need. Aiming a scowl at his annoying friend, he buckled. "Alright, I'll go to your girly little sleepover thing in Uhura's room, but the moment things get too mushy I'm outta there, you hear me?"

Kirk beamed at his best friend and hugged him tightly in the middle of the hallway. "Thanks Bones!" He let the man go and then skipped off to his room. McCoy shook his head at Kirk as he disappeared down the hallway and mutter, "Damned nut job…"

He made the rest of his way to sick bay and saw Chapel sitting in a chair with her legs crossed, writing into a data pad. When she saw him enter, her face lit up with happiness. She immediately put the data pad down and stood up.

"Hey!" she said as she walked over to him. "Sorry I couldn't join you for dinner; that last patient took a bit longer than I thought it would, but I got everything taken care of!"

McCoy gave a weak smile and said, "Thank you Christine. I appreciate you finishing things up with Ensign Yamada for me."

She shook her head and smiled. "Don't worry about it," she said. "It was the least I could do. Besides, I was glad to have the chance to work on a patient without supervision." She blushed slightly and suddenly became somewhat nervous. "Say Leonard…I was going over our appointments and it looks like we're pretty much free for the rest of the day. Would you like to head over to the observation deck early? We're in a particularly beautiful part of the galaxy and…well…I'm really looking forward to just sitting and looking at the stars with you."

McCoy sighed sadly. He knew he should have just told Kirk that he had a date with Chapel, but he was so adamant about him coming along that he never got the chance to tell him. It didn't help that the whole thing sounded like a giant threat to his masculinity. In a low voice, he said, "That's probably a good idea…it seems Jim wants me to join him and Uhura tonight to help him get through his first night without Spock."

Disappointment showed clearly on Chapel's face. "Oh…well, he's going through a rough time from what you told me, so I guess you should really go…"

"I don't even want to go, but he begged me!" McCoy said, desperate to make sure she knew that he wasn't blowing her off on purpose. "You've seen him when he gets whiny; he won't stop until he gets what he wants. He even gave me the 'kicked puppy dog eyes'…he knows I cave every time he does that…" Despite herself, Chapel giggled. McCoy glared at her and said, "It's not funny! He always pulls shit like this!"

"I'm sorry," Chapel said as she tried to stifle her laughter. "It's just really funny hearing you talk about Jim like that. Whenever you talk like that, I think of a father irritated by his favorite daughter!"

McCoy crossed his arms and frowned. "Well, he sure as hell makes me feel old enough to be his father, but if he were my kid, he'd be far from my favorite!" He allowed himself a smirk and uncrossed his arms as Chapel gave him a hug.

"Well, as much as I hate to share you tonight, I can at least get you to myself for a little while. When is he expecting you to come over?"

"He said they're meeting in Uhura's room at around 22:00, but I'm sure he can wait for a little while." He pulled Chapel back and gave her a light but tender kiss. When the kiss broke they both had pink tinted cheeks. "Come on; let's close up the sick bay and go look at the stars. I'll even bring the wine from that little café on Kalthoria."

"Alright," Chapel said, reluctantly pulling out of McCoy's embrace and moving to tidy up the sick bay while McCoy went to his office. When he returned, he had the bottle of wine from the Nayvolo café and one of the bottles of Sirian brandy he had acquired with Scotty's help. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Uhm, why are you bringing the brandy?"

Smirking, McCoy answered, "One of Kirk's bargaining chips to get me to go to this damned thing was that I could bring alcohol. If this turns out to be half as girly as I think it will be, I'm going to need this." He patted the gallon of brandy to emphasize his point.

"If you say so," Chapel giggled. "I'll go get a couple of wine glasses for us since your hands are full." She disappeared into his office and reappeared with the glasses in her hands. "Well, we've got everything, so let's go!"

McCoy and Chapel left the empty sick bay smiling and laughing with each other as they went to go enjoy their date looking at the stars.

Kirk was scrapping the bottom of his second carton of pistachio ice cream in the last half hour. This wasn't necessarily an impressive feat, but considering that it usually took him the whole of their night together to finish just one carton, the fact that in the time it took him to explain the situation with Spock and his father to Uhura he had finished two whole cartons of ice cream was rather noticeable. He replaced the cover to the now empty pint and rose from his place on Uhura's bed. Uhura quickly put out her arm and pushed him back down on the bed.

"Uh uh," Uhura said with a shake of her head. "There is no way I'm letting you eat another pint of ice cream."

Kirk gave her a dejected look. "Are you cutting me off?!?"

"You're damned right I'm cutting you off!" she said. "If I let you eat anymore ice cream either your teeth will rot or you'll go into a diabetic coma! Either way, Spock will kill me when he comes back and finds out!"

He shook his head sadly. "What's it matter? It'll be six months before he finds out."

"Oh yeah? What about your mind link thing, huh? You don't think he won't find out through that?"

"It doesn't work that way…"

"I wouldn't know," Uhura said, shooting Kirk a snide grin. "Someone stole away the last Vulcan I dated before things got that far."

The glare on Kirk's face told Uhura that he was not in a mood for her teasing. On another night he would have come back with something witty and funny, but in his current mood he had nothing to retort with. He tried again to get up from the bed, but Uhura pushed him back down again, only harder this time.

Kirk growled in frustration. "Dammit Nyota, let me get more ice cream!"

"Jim, are you planning to spend the next six months drowning your sorrows in sugary treats?"

He looked away and muttered, "Maybe…"

"Okay, and when Spock comes back and you're fifty pounds heavier from all the sweets you've binged on, what do you plan to tell him?"

He gave Uhura a smirk and said, "'Hey babe, looks like there's more cushion for the pushin'!"

Uhura winced from Kirk's crude comeback and shoved him hard. Laughing, she said, "You're disgusting! How the hell does Spock put up with you?"

Laughing as well, Kirk replied, "It's all that Vulcan patience he spent years developing. If he can meditate for hours on end he can put up with a couple of my quips." His laughter faded into a smile, and the smile faded into a sad look. "Six months is a long time without him."

Uhura put her arm around Kirk and pulled him close. "I know," she said, "But you can't let it get to you. You've got four hundred and thirty two other people on this ship to take care of in his absence. You can't afford to show any vulnerability while he's gone."

He sighed and leaned against Uhura. They sat like that only for a brief moment before a loud rap came at the door. On the other side McCoy's voice called out, "Hey, can one of you let me in? My hands are full!"

They shared a look before Uhura rose from her bed and walked to the door. She pressed the button to open it and marveled at the large bottle he held in his hand. In the other were three brandy glasses that he brought for them all to drink from. He shoved the hand holding the three glasses toward Uhura, who took two of them from him. He sat down in chair closest to the bed and placed his glass on Uhura's desk.

"Well, look who finally showed up!" Kirk said with a raised eyebrow. "I told you we were meeting at 22:00; it's 22:38! Your shift ended like an hour and a half ago! What've you been up to?"

"First off I had to stop back by sick bay to grab enough glasses for all three of us to drink from. If you must know what I was doing before that, I was cutting a date with Christine short so I could come here to be with you two."

Uhura shot an angry look at Kirk. "Jim! You made him come here when he had a date with Christine?!?"

McCoy waved the two off before Jim could protest. "Don't give him a hard time Uhura," McCoy said. "I didn't tell him I had a date with Christine."

"Why didn't you say something?" Kirk asked. "If you had just said that you were going on a date with her in the first place, I wouldn't have kept bugging you like that! God, now I feel like an ass for pestering you so damned much!"

"What, you gotta cock block someone before you apologize for being an ass?"

The angry glare on Kirk's face and the pillow that flew at McCoy's face was the answer to his question. McCoy scowled back at Kirk as he took the pillow and chunked it back at him. Pointing at him, he said, "You keep that up and I'll be leaving with my brandy!"

Kirk crossed his arms and snapped his head away from McCoy. "See if I care!" he said with an indignant tone. "I'm sure you'd rather spend time with Christine anyway!"

"Alright girls, quit your bickering," Uhura said, gaining two angry glares in response. "McCoy, quit being an ass. Jim, quit being a pouty bitch. I swear you two peck at each other like two old hens!"

"We do not!" Kirk and McCoy proclaimed in unison. They glared at each other again before McCoy opened his bottle of brandy. As he poured himself a glass, he said, "I don't even know why I'm bothering to share something of this quality with you when you're copping an attitude like that with me."

Uhura handed Kirk a glass and said, "I don't know either. He's all depressed because Spock's gone and was trying to overdose on ice cream before you came in. Letting him drink alcohol in his state is probably a poor idea."

"Yeah," McCoy agreed, "but what kind of friend would I be if I didn't help him drown his sorrows?" He put the mouth of the bottle over Kirk's glass and poured him a generous helping of brandy.

Kirk took a moment to swirl the brandy carefully in the glass and inhale its scent. The familiar smell of Sirian fruit and alcohol wafted into his nostril. He quirked an eyebrow at McCoy and said, "Sirian fruit?"

McCoy shrugged as poured a healthy amount of the brandy into Uhura's glass as well. "Don't ask me; it seems the Sirians are obsessed with Sirian fruit."

"I noticed," Kirk said before taking a sip. His eyes lit up at the surprising tingling sensation on his tongue. "Wow," he said, "trippy. Never thought I'd ever drink a carbonated fruit flavored brandy and enjoy it."

"I thought the same thing," McCoy said as he drank from his own cup. "Don't let it fool you though. It goes down just as smooth as a well aged brandy and packs one hell of a punch if you drink too much of it."

As McCoy was saying this, Kirk was downing the entirety of the glass' contents. He lowered his head and gave his glass a satisfied look. "Good to know." He shoved the glass in McCoy's direction and demanded, "Fill 'er back up."

"You know," McCoy said, shaking his head as he refilled the glass, "if your liver shrivels up into a black lump of dead tissue from drinking this stuff en mass, I'm not doing the surgery on you."

Kirk scoffed. "This coming from the man who's giving me a refill…"

"So," Uhura began after drinking a considerable amount from her own glass, "how'd your date with Chapel go?"

"Good," McCoy said. A dreamy look spread on his face as he smiled. "We spent the last three hours just looking at the stars and talking. It was nice."

"Awww…" Kirk said, hiccupping from his second downed glass of brandy. "Isn't that sweet…the good doctor's finally got him a chunk of romance…"

"Lay off," Uhura said as she shot an angry glance at Kirk. He waved her off with his free hand as McCoy filled his glass up for a third time. She turned back to McCoy and smiled, "I'm glad things are going good between you and Christine Leonard."

"Thank you," McCoy said, returning the smile. "I'm glad someone here is…"

Kirk drank a few gulps of his brandy and left nearly a quarter of it in his glass. "I never said I wasn't happy for you! I said what I did in earnest…"

"…and sounded like an ass in the process…" McCoy muttered.

"Okay, are you two going to be like this for the rest of the night?" Uhura asked. She was getting tired of their squabbling really fast. "Look Jim, I know you're bummed out that Spock is gone and his dad doesn't approve of your relationship, but if you're going to be like this then maybe we should just call this whole thing off. The whole point of us being here is to cheer you up, but you seem to be rather content on staying in a bad mood. I don't think you have a right to give McCoy such a hard time when he cut his date short to be here and support you."

Kirk downed the rest of his brandy and slammed the glass on the desk. "You know what? I'm sorry that I even asked him to come! I thought having my best friend here with me would help me feel better, but apparently he'd rather spend his time with his new girlfriend than with me!"

"Listen here," McCoy growled, pointing at Kirk, "you told me to get over you and pursue things with Christine. Now that I've finally done that, you're getting all pissy about it! I came here as a personal favor to you because you begged me to be here and wouldn't leave me alone until I said yes! Not once did you stop to think that maybe I'd have plans for the night; you just assumed I'd be available to stay by your side and hold your hand while you boo-hoo about spending the next six months away from your fiancé! You need to get the hell over yourself and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you!"

"Fuck you!" Kirk spat. The alcohol he had rapidly consumed had gone straight to his head and was making it hard for him to control himself and what he said. "You want me to pat you on the back for finally growing a pair of balls and pursuing Christine after pining away for me for a year and a half? Fine! Good for you Bones! So good to know that Scotty had to practically hold your hand to get you to ask her out on a double date, because God knows you never would have done it on your own if he hadn't!"

"ENOUGH!" Uhura screamed. Both McCoy and Kirk jumped and shut their traps. She shot daggers at both of the men with her chocolate colored eyes. "You two are pathetic!" she said in a lower voice. "If you ask me, you both have your heads up your asses! Leonard, if you wanted to continue your date with Christine then you shouldn't have even come here. As much of a dick as Jim is being right now, he has a right to be upset. You should have just told him up front that you had plans tonight and tried scheduling something later."

"I told you he…"

"I don't care!" She cut McCoy off before he could retort. "You play like you're so much more mature than Jim, but you're just as bad as he is! The adult thing would've been to just tell him why you couldn't come. Even if he is being whiny, he would've accepted it and we wouldn't even be arguing like this!"

"You know what," Kirk said, standing up. "Forget it. I'll just deal with this on my own. Neither of you have to bother with me being whiny or messing up your personal plans anymore. Guess it was stupid to think my friends would help me feel better."

He walked across the room and left, ignoring both Uhura and McCoy's cries for him to come back.

When Kirk reached his room, he face planted on to his bed, allowing his depression to wash over him. Not only was he about to spend the next six months sleeping alone in his bed, but he wouldn't even have Uhura or McCoy to lean on for support. His heart ached at the very thought of not being able to see, touch, kiss, or hug Spock for six whole months.

Biting his lip, he fought back his tears as anger at Sarek gripped his insides. Damn that bastard for keeping us apart like this! A balled up fist pounded on the pillow above his head. I swear, the next time I see that pointy-eared bastard I'm going to punch him in the face! The alcohol loosened his control on his already overwhelming sadness. A tear escaped the corner of his eye and tracked a path down the side of his face to soak into his bed. This pioneer tear carved the path for more tears of anger and sadness to fall from Kirk's face. His body began to convulse from the heart wrenching sobs that came out of his mouth.

Jim? Are you alright?

Started at the sound of Spock's soothing voice inside his head, Kirk's head rose from the bed and his tears ceased to fall. He called out loud to his fiancé, "Spock?"

Yes Jim, Spock said through their mind link, it is me. Why are you crying?

He sat up on the bed and communicated to Spock using his mind. How did you know I'm crying? He said,hurriedly wiping away the tears that had flooded down his face after the first one as if Spock could see him.

Kirk felt Spock smile through their link. I can feel what you feel through our link, remember?

Oh…right… Kirk had forgotten just how much could be sensed through their link. In the year that they were engaged, the most they used their link for was communicating with each other. It was only when Spock left briefly for New Vulcan that he was able to experience more of their abilities. He chewed his lip to try and keep himself from crying anymore. Sorry…I'm kinda having a bad night. We haven't even been apart a full day yet and I miss you already.

And I, you. Spock said sincerely.

Where are you right now?

I am lying down in Prime's guest bedroom. I am currently not on speaking terms with my father given our present situation. Prime understands completely and has offered the use of his guest bedroom to me so that I would not have to face my father more than I have to.

Kirk nodded. Since he had the time to do so, he decided to relay the day's events to Spock. I told T'Maire about what happened with Sarek. She's planning on notifying the Vulcan High Council sometime that she wants to nullify your 'life bond' with her so we can make our engagement official when this whole mess is over.

He felt Spock's eyebrows rise in surprise. That is an admiral act on her behalf.

Oh come on Spock, Kirk grinned. You know she'd do anything for you.

Indeed she would, Spock agreed. I suppose this is what is it like to have a 'best friend'.

The grin quickly faded from Kirk's face. He flinched at the words 'best friend' and hoped that Spock would ignore it. Luckily, he did. He continued on, I also told Admiral Pike about our relationship.

Admiral Pike? Spock asked, his nervousness flooding through Kirk's mind. What did he have to say?

He gave us his blessing, Spock. Apparently he already knew about us. Seems that Corporal Bryce Peters has been sending him complaints about the Enterprise's crew fraternizing with each other and we've been his favorite topic.

Spock was silent for a while. It is good that Admiral Pike gives us his blessing, he finally said. He is a good man.

He is, Kirk agreed.

They were silent for a few minutes, Kirk's depression deepening as the Enterprise moved further and further away from New Vulcan. Spock could feel the depression through their link and pursed his lips. Jim, close your eyes, Spock said suddenly.

What…?

Just do it, he said softly yet firmly. Kirk let his eyes slide closed and felt himself sinking into his sub-consciousness. Suddenly the darkness around him burst into the familiar swirls of blue and yellow. Kirk looked around and saw Spock sitting cross-legged a few meters away from him. Walking over, he sat next to the Vulcan, who smiled at him. "Better?"

"Much," Kirk said with a small smile, leaning against Spock's arm.

"You never did tell me why you were crying." Spock said, wrapping Kirk in a one-armed hug. "Is it because we are not together?"

"Amongst things," Kirk said in a small voice. Sighing, he added, "I'd rather not go into right now though…"

"Perhaps some sleep would help you feel better," he murmured, running his fingers through Kirk's hair. "I can feel your fatigue so very plainly. I can also feel the alcohol that is aggravating your current mood."

Blushing, Kirk chose not to response verbally to Spock's comment; his body language gave all the response necessary as he fidgeted uncomfortably. He shook his head and said, "It doesn't feel right sleeping without you there."

Spock kissed his cheek lovingly. "I will still be here," he murmured. "Lay down, Jim."

Too tired to think of a quick retort, Kirk followed Spock directions and laid his head against the Vulcan's thigh. Spock ran his fingers comfortingly through Kirk's hair as the blond man let his eyes drift closed. As he began to sing his mother's lullaby softly, Kirk felt his sadness lift. He felt his body relax as he began to fall asleep. Spock watched as Kirk's presence faded slowly from their joined subconscious and left one last lingering kiss on the man's lips.

The sound of Spock's voice whispering "I love you…"rang in Kirk's ears as he succumbed to sleep.

Back on New Vulcan, Spock felt himself rising from within himself to return back to the room he currently occupied. Opening his eyes and raising himself into a standing position, he began to ready himself for bed. He hadn't left his fiancé with much before he had fallen asleep, but he hoped that it would be enough to bring him a little bit of comfort as he slept through the night.

Lying down on his bed, he closed his eyes. Though he had done what he could to comfort Kirk, he found himself in need of comforting as well. He feared that he would not sleep much through the night when he felt his mother's presence. Even through his closed eyes he could see her smiling down on him and feel her hand stroking his hair as she sat next to him on the bed. For the first time since he was a child, he heard her sing her lullaby to him to soothe him to sleep. As a tear rolled down his face, he felt himself slip into a peaceful slumber.