Ch 20: Setting Things Right

The next couple of weeks proved to be incredibly awkward for everyone on board the Enterprise. The tension between Uhura, Kirk, and McCoy was thick enough to cut a knife. Kirk was unusually short with both of them whenever they spoke, which was solely on duty. Kirk was normally good at keeping his personal relationships separate from his work relationships, but with Spock gone, his normal cool and collected demeanor was visibly rattled. Though his treatment of other crew members was as cordial as usual, many feared speaking with him.

Fortunately Kirk was getting enough sleep at night despite his depression. Having Spock by his side made the nights much easier to endure, even if they could only be together through their mind link. The days, however, were grueling. He found it hard to keep his attention on the task at hand and made repeat visits to the mess hall to indulge himself in something sweet to take his mind off of his sadness. He wouldn't do anything to keep himself active; if he wasn't on duty, he was eating in the mess hall, and when he wasn't there, he was crying alone in his room while watching sappy movies that he normally wouldn't have been caught dead watching.

In the two weeks since Spock had been left on New Vulcan, Kirk had gained ten pounds. Technically, the weight gain was only slightly noticeable, but when Kirk stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom, he found himself obsessing over the lack of definition in his build. This, of course, made Kirk want to eat more instead of working the extra weight off.

Uhura decided that this couldn't go on any longer and took it upon herself to go up to Kirk and try to make up with him. They may not have been best friends, but she had come to care about him and didn't want to see him so miserable. She caught him on his way out of the mess hall.

"Hey Jim!" she called out. "Can we talk for a minute?"

Kirk stopped walking and sighed. "What do you want?"

Uhura tried to ignore his curtness and took a deep breath. "I know I should have come to you sooner, but I want to apologize to you about what happened in my room a while back."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "What do you have to apologize for? According to both you and McCoy, I was just being whiny. If anyone should apologize it should be me for bugging both of you with my problems."

Kirk tried to walk past Uhura but she grabbed his arm and held him in place. "Don't give me that bullshit Jim. You came to me and McCoy because you were upset, and we did a shitty job of trying to cheer you up." She sighed and looked up at his eyes, which had lost their usual luminosity. "I'm sorry."

Kirk remained silent for a moment. He then turned and asked, "Is that all?"

Uhura looked at him briefly and then dropped her eyes down to the floor. "Yeah…" she said, removing her hand from his arm. "That's all." She turned on her heel and went inside the mess hall, allowing Kirk to walk away.

When she entered the mess hall and picked up her order of salad from the replicator, she saw Chapel wave at her from one of the tables. She gave a small wave and a weak smile as she made her way over with her tray. Dropping her tray on the table, she flopped into the seat and sighed heavily.

Chapel raised an eyebrow at her. "Bad day?"

"No, it's not that…" Uhura said. She picked up her fork and began stabbing at her salad with her fork. "I tried apologizing to Jim about what happened in my room almost three weeks ago and he pretty much just blew me off."

"Ouch," Chapel said as she took a sip of her water. "Guess he's still upset, huh?"

"I don't blame him. Leonard and I really dropped the ball."

"At least you tried apologizing." Chapel scoffed. "Every time I mention it to Leonard he bites my head off."

Uhura sighed again and dropped her fork. "This is bad. It's obvious that Jim's depressed too. You can tell just by looking at him.

"Doesn't help that he's gained weight…"

"Isn't Leonard the least bit concerned about Kirk's health?"

"Of course he is!" Chapel said with a raised voice. "He may be mad, but he's not heartless! He's very concerned, but he refuses to seek Kirk out!" She lowered her voice and did her best McCoy impression. "'Jim's a big boy, if something's wrong with him, he knows where to go! I'm not holdin' his hand anymore!'"

Uhura laughed and applauded Chapel for her scarily accurate impression of McCoy. Chapel smirked and said, "If you think that was good, you should hear my Scotty!"

"What's this about meh?"

They turned around and spotted Scotty standing behind them with a huge roast beef sandwich on his tray. He leaned over and planted a kiss on Uhura's cheek and then sat down next to her.

"We're talking about Jim and Leonard," Uhura said, filling Scotty in. "Christine just did an excellent impression of our cranky yet lovable doctor and was about to do you."

"Really?" Scotty gave Chapel an intrigued smile and said, "Well, let's hear it!"

Chapel blushed and waved her hands. "Uh, maybe some other time. We're trying to figure out what to do about this whole issue with Jim's depression. Uhura tried apologizing but he blew her off, and Leonard won't even consider going to see him, not even to check on his health."

"Is that true?" Scotty turned to Uhura and looked at her face. He could see the worry clearly on her face as she nodded sadly. He frowned; he hated seeing his girlfriend look so upset. When he looked at Chapel, he saw the same sad look on her face as well. He slammed a fist on the table and said, "Ah'm not gonna have two beautiful girls lookin' down because tha captain an' tha doctor are havin' a spat! Ah'm gonna go see them both an' get them ta apologize like adults!"

He picked up one half of his sandwich and said, "Right after ah eat meh lunch," before taking a giant bite.

"You wanted to see me Scotty?" McCoy asked. When he saw Scotty enter sick bay and request to speak to him in private, they had moved into his office and closed the door behind them. McCoy had missed the knowing look and nods that Scotty and Chapel exchanged before she left the sick bay to allow them to be alone.

"Aye Doctor," Scotty said, his tone serious. "Ah want ta talk ta ya about tha captain."

McCoy froze and gave Scotty a death glare. Even after three weeks, Kirk was still a sensitive topic for him. He had known it was too good to be true when Chapel stopped bringing him up; it was only a matter of time before someone came to him and bugged him about it. Interestingly enough, it turned out to be Scotty who bring it up. He had expected Uhura to come to him and nag his ear off, but considering Scotty was her boyfriend, it seemed natural that she's send him to do her dirty work.

"Ye kin glare at meh all ye want Doctor; ah'm not leavin' until ye promise me ye'll apologize ta him an' check him out."

Ever the stubborn one, McCoy crossed his arms and protested, "Jim's not a child. If he thinks he needs medical help then he'll come to me. It's not like I've banned him from sick bay…"

"No, but ye refuse ta take tha initiative an' seek 'im out." Scotty came closer to the desk McCoy sat at and leaned over. "Leonard, he's gainin' weight, an' not in a healthy way. Tha crew keeps seein' him gorge on blueberry cobbler an' pies an' cakes an' tha like. He hardly eats anything that's not dessert, an' when he does eat something else, it's just as fatty as tha desserts! He's killin' himself! Slowly and surely he's killin' himself! At this rate he'll have a heart attack before Spock gets back ta snap him outta it!"

McCoy stirred in his seat. He knew Kirk was in bad shape, but he didn't think things were that bad. If he had, he would've swallowed his pride and gone to see Kirk immediately. He may have been mad at Kirk for thinking only of himself, but there was no way he wanted him to go through what he was going through now. The doctor in him was putting him back in touch with the best friend that cared for Kirk's well being.

The stubborn Southern in him persisted though. Angrily, he shouted, "If he's in such a bad condition then he should take responsibility for himself and come see me personally! I'm tired of trying to get him to do what's best for him only to be shoved off and ignored and then have him pester the hell out of me when he sees fit! I'm the ship's chief medical officer! I'm in charge of more than just the captain's well being!"

Beginning to get angry himself, Scotty pressed on. "Then ye'll be interested ta know that it's not just his eatin' habits that are worrysome; he's not as alert as he was before. He's makin' stupid mistakes an' overseein' glaringly obvious details! If we went in ta a conflict with him in his current state, he'd put tha whole ship in danger!"

"Then you go tell him that and make him come see me! I'm not going out of my way to seek him out!"

Scotty slammed his hands flat on the desk before him. "Dammit man, stop actin' like a child! Ah don' care which o' ye are in tha right or in tha wrong, but ye've got ta get over yer stubbornness and go drag him here yerself, whether either of ye like it or not! This goes beyond yer conflict with each other an' affects tha entire ship! Quit relyin' on someone else ta do yer damned job!"

Scotty and McCoy's eyes were locked onto each other. Anger swirled darkly in both of the men's eyes as they stared each other down, waiting for the other to cave in. Unsurprisingly, McCoy was the first to look away. Frustrated, he looked back at Scotty and said, "Fine! I'll seek him out and bring him here! But you're still going with me!"

"Didn't ah just say ta do it yerself?"

"Yes, and I heard you loud and clear! But just because I go up to him and tell him he needs to come with me to be treated for depression doesn't mean that he's going to listen to me! If you're that adamant about Jim getting the treatment he needs, you're going to help me, even if it means clubbing him over the head and hauling his unconscious body here!"

McCoy stood from his chair and walked out of his office. Scotty followed him as he went to a drawer and prepared a hypospray. "I'm putting a potent anti-depressant into this hypospray to administer when we find Jim. If what you're saying is true, he's going to need something to turn him around immediately. The main thing we need right now is for him to function properly as a captain. Once we get him back on track, we can properly treat his symptoms specifically and directly. Chances are once we straighten him out, he won't need them anymore and he'll be fine until Spock returns."

"From what ah'm told," Scotty said, "tha only thing he needs ta get through tha time Spock is gone is his friends. Perhaps an apology from you would work better than an anti-depressant."

Sighing, McCoy turned around and faced Scotty. "You don't think I know that? I'm not stupid Scotty; I know I'm partially to blame for his current condition and I intend to apologize, but that's not going to be enough to turn him around, not at this point. It's all because I…" he paused and sighed. "It's all because I did what I do best; I drove him away by being my grumpy old self. It's probably only a matter of time before I do that with Christine too…"

"Hey now," Scotty said, putting a hand on McCoy's shoulder, "there'll be none o' that. We can't have our chief medical officer gettin' depressed too. All ye need ta do is ta talk ta him. Tell him yer sorry an' that ye were wrong. In his state, that'll probably do more than ye think."

McCoy nodded. "You're probably right Scotty. Come on, let's go find him."

Kirk clutched on tightly to his pillow as he watched Casablanca for the tenth time in the last three weeks. He had gone through a good portion of the ship's classic romantic movies, but this one called to him more than the others. Tears flowed down his face as he watched Rick and Ilsa say goodbye. It was one of the most memorable scenes amongst romantic films even in the 23rd century, and every time he saw it he pictured him and Spock parting in such a way.

From outside his door, Scotty and McCoy heard his sobs over the movie. They exchanged worried looks before Scotty knocked. The sound of the movie and the sobs stopped almost instantly as Kirk struggled to sound like he hadn't been crying. In a strained voice, he said, "Who is it?"

"It's Scotty, sir," Scotty said. "May ah come in? Ah have something ah need ta talk with ye about."

Eyes wide, Kirk turned his screen off and replaced his pillow on the bed. He ran into the bathroom and splashed his face with water. When he looked up at his reflection, he cringed at the noticeably red eyes that persisted. He grabbed a hand towel and scrubbed furiously at his face. He hated that he was in this kind of shape, but he didn't know what to do to fix it.

Another knock came at the door as Scotty's voice called out to him. "Captain? Are ye in there?"

Kirk quickly put the towel back on the rack and yelled, "Yeah, just give me a minute, I'll be there!" Looking back at the mirror, he tried to make himself look more presentable. As he adjusted his hair and wiped away any remaining water, he stopped to really look at himself. His face had become rounder in the last three weeks, which only added to his despair. He hated the way he looked; his reflection reminded him of a pig. In the crease where his nose met his cheek, a pimple had surfaced from the stress of his condition mixing with his sugary, fatty diet. He fought the urge to pop it, knowing that doing so would only make it worse and ruin his skin.

Pulling himself away from his reflection, he hurried to the door and opened it. When he did, he not only saw Scotty, but saw McCoy standing slightly behind him. His face contorted in anger when he saw McCoy's face. "What the hell is he doing here?!?"

Scotty put his hands up and said, "Captain, please, just let us come inside, okay?"

Glaring at McCoy, Kirk stepped aside and allowed them to come in. When they looked around, they noticed that the captain's room was messier than usual. Piles of clothing were scattered over the floor and on the furniture, filling the room with the scent of dirty laundry. McCoy's nose turned up at the sight and smell of Kirk's room; not even when he was a cadet in the academy did his room look this bad.

Scotty wasn't fazed by the room's unkempt condition; his concern was the man who allowed both his room and his body to be so ill taken care of. "Captain, we want ta talk ta ye about yer depression."

"You mean Doctor McCoy actually cares about my health?" Kirk quipped, crossing his arms.

McCoy glared at Kirk but held his tongue to Scotty's relief. If he let his anger get the better of him, it would only make things worse. "Aye, he does," Scotty explained. "That's why we're both here. Ah know yer upset about Spock, but ye can't keep goin' on like this. Yer not takin' care of yerself an' yer not as attentive ta yer job as captain as ye need ta be."

"Well it's nice that you're speaking for everyone Scotty, but if Doctor McCoy is concerned about me, I'd rather hear it from his mouth."

Both Kirk and Scotty turned to look at the doctor, who didn't like that the spotlight had been shined on him. He rolled his eyes and said, "Jim, you're a mess. You haven't had a decent meal in three weeks. The weight you've gained isn't healthy! I can't believe you've let yourself go like this!"

"Well Bones, what do you expect from someone who's got his head up his ass?" Kirk snarked.

McCoy turned to Scotty and said, "You see what I mean? This is exactly what I expected from him!"

"I'm glad I meet your expectations!"

"Alright!" Scotty said, putting himself between the two. "That's enough! What's wrong with ye two? Ye two are best friends! Ye shouldn't be actin' this way! Now look, Leonard, ye're obviously worried about tha Captain, so why don' ye just tell him that? And Jim, ye just want things between ye an' tha doctor ta be like they were before, so why not tell him that?"

The two glared at each other with arms crossed, neither wanting to be the first to say anything. After watching them stand like that for a minute, Scotty sighed in frustration. "Ye two are unbelievable! Ye'd rather be sad an' miserable than swallow yer pride an' apologize ta each other like two mature adults!"

McCoy scoffed and said, "He couldn't be mature if his life depended on it…"

Kirk uncrossed his arms and jabbed a finger at McCoy, "You know, I've had just about enough of your condescending bullshit Bones…"

"Oh yeah?" McCoy said as he also uncrossed his arms and stepped closer to Kirk. "Well what are you gonna do about it Chubby?"

"BOTH O' YE SHUT THA BLOODY HELL UP!"

Kirk and McCoy stared at Scotty in mute surprise. They knew that Scottish men were known for their temper, but Scotty had always seemed to be a rather mellow fellow that enjoyed being happy more than anything. To see him blow up like that was alarming. They both took a step backward and kept their eyes glued to Scotty in case he snapped.

"Leonard!" Scotty roared. McCoy jumped at the sound of Scotty yelling his name. "Get out o' tha room, now!"

Obediently, McCoy quickly turned around and left the room. When the door had closed behind him, Scotty grabbed Kirk by the shirt and stared at him with his piercing brown eyes. "Alright, listen ta me an' listen good Captain. Ah respect ye an' all, but ah'm not gonna have meh girl upset because ye're too busy skulkin' around tha ship feelin' sorry fer yerself! She tried apologizin' ta ye earlier an' ye blew her off. If ye weren't my superior an' we were in Scotland, ye'd get yer arse kicked fer that."

Kirk gulped at the thought of Scotty wailing on him in a full fit of anger. Even though Vulcans had three times his strength, he had no problem pitting himself against them because their demeanor was far from threatening to him. The idea of an enraged Scotsman beating him to a bloody pulp filled him with the fear of God.

"Now," Scotty continued, "Ah'm gonna call McCoy back in here, an' when he comes back in, ye're both gonna act civil an' get this whole mess settled so we can knock yer depression out an' get ye back ta normal! This ship doesn't need a wimpy captain who spends all his time cryin' because his boyfriend is gone! Ye got meh?!?"

The blond man nodded enthusiastically at Scotty, not wanting to give him any lip at all. If peace was what he wanted, peace was what he'd get. Scotty released the captain's shirt and called out, "Leonard! Ye kin come back in now!"

McCoy walked back into the room with a cautious look on his face. The rattled look on Kirk's face reflected the shouting that he heard outside of the room. Scotty whirled around to face McCoy and pointed a finger in his face. "Ah'm gonna tell ye what ah told tha captain! Ah'm not gonna tolerate any more o' yer childish shenanigans! Ye've got yer girlfriend lookin' all down because ye won't apologize ta tha Captain an' set things right an' ah won't have it! Now ah'm gonna go stand by tha door an' let ye two talk things through. Tha next one o' ya ta get outta line gets a knuckle sandwich!" Scotty shook a balled up fist to emphasize his point.

They both nodded at him and watched as he walked over to the door and faced them. He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, watching them adamantly. They turned to face each other, but averted their eyes immediately. Both now felt ashamed at their behavior and simply wanted to bury the hatchet.

McCoy cleared his throat and apologized first. "Uh, listen…I'm sorry I chose not to tell you about my date with Christine when you asked me to come to Uhura's room. I should have just told you I had plans, but I didn't think you would've even cared. I figured you'd try to guilt me into coming along anyway."

"Do you really think so little of me?" Kirk asked in earnest. No malice or sarcasm was heard from his voice; just sadness. "Bones, you know that I'm your number one cheerleader for your relationship with Christine. As much as I want to be happy, I want you to be happy too. I won't lie, I would've been sad that you couldn't spare the time to spend with me and Uhura, but I would've understood. That's part of what hurt me so bad; that you just assumed I didn't care about your own happiness.

"I'll admit I tend to be a bit selfish when it comes to my needs, and I thought being with Spock was helping with that. Apparently I was wrong. I'm sorry for assuming you could just drop everything to be by my side while I was upset. I…I really care about you Bones. You remind me so much of my brother it's not even funny. I have fun with you, but I value your feelings and opinions too, even if I don't show it. I don't ever want you to think I take you for granted."

Kirk opened his arms to show that he wanted to give McCoy a hug. McCoy smiled and pulled Kirk into a tight hug. As he held him tight, he said, "I care about you too, ya pain in the ass. I don't have a little brother, but if I did, I'd want him to be just like you." He heard Kirk laugh as he began to shake. McCoy didn't have to see his face to know he was crying. "I've been worried about you, but I've been too damned stubborn to come and see you personally. It's my fault you're as depressed as you are right now."

"No," Kirk blubbered through his tears, "it's not your fault. I'm just a dummy, that's all. I should have come to talk to you and Uhura…"

"Hush," McCoy said as he rubbed Kirk's back and stroked his hair. "Don't worry about it. We're all at fault here. Now it's time to fix things and set them right." He pulled the hypospray from his pocket and injected it into Kirk's neck. Kirk's body contracted and his sobs got a little louder as he grabbed his throat.

"I'm sorry," McCoy said, bringing his arm back around Kirk and rocking him back and forth. "I had to do it. It'll help you get back on your feet again."

Kirk continued to sob for a moment longer before his body went limp. Scotty looked at McCoy in shock and asked, "What did ye do ta him?!?"

Bending down and scooping the heavy man in his arms, McCoy said, "I mixed a sedative in with the anti-depressant. I had no way of knowing if he's been sleeping properly and I wanted to make sure he could get some rest. When he wakes up, he should be in a better mood. I'll talk to him about beginning a small string of anti-depressants to help him get back on track when he wakes up."

"Ah hope ye'll be prescribin' a healthy dosage o' quality time with his best friend as well," Scotty smirked.

Nodding and looking at the peaceful look on Kirk's tear stained face, he said, "Yes, I will. Help me get him to sick bay."