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Beyond Reach
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For days on end he kept himself up, looked on and held firm. He is after all a strong man that is supposed to be the strong drifting cloud that protects the family from afar, independent and unbound. The Vongola Famiglia's Cloud Guardian. But more important than that… he IS Hibari Kyoya and he isn't some sniveling herbivore and he will never stoop that low…
It's just that… despair recognizes no pride and the feeling of lost knows no title.
…and whoever thought of that damn Vongola phrase was stupid. The cloud may be aloof and independent but it will forever be bound to the sky…
Just that thought is burden enough.
However he realized that the mind will not stop even if one begs. Just like how the heart will continue to work even if the soul is tired. As long as he is still breathing he may not rest.
How unfortunate.
Why?
Cause after some time… after just a couple of days… only a couple of hours his mind and his heart had been nagging at him… kept bothering him and screaming at him… there was something he had overlooked, miscalculated and misunderstood.
And then it clicked.
How he hoped that his mind had stopped… how he hated the fact that he can now fully understand. It was infuriating… how the mind refuses to stop making him realize what he had tried so hard to deny.
The Sky may not have been meant to be reached.
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"Hibari-san… can I talk to you for a minute?"
He regarded the child mildly before nodding his head a bit. He turned away and started on the corridors… he didn't look behind to know that the stupid herbivore would be following.
"You always follow people without even understanding where they will be going. You are supposed to be a leader not a follower, Sawada Tsunayoshi."
"E-Ehh?? But I thought Hibari-san wanted me to follow him? Come on! You even nodded a bit when I asked if we could talk!" he tsked a bit at the panicked stricken voice before looking back and glaring. The younger one flinched a bit before sighing.
"Besides… even though Hibari-san is scary and unreasonable beyond belief I can trust Hibari-san with my life- just not with my health…"
He narrowed his eyes at the statement making the other flinch again before sharply turning away and walking just a bit faster…
"I just wish I could say the same thing to you, Sawada Tsunayoshi."
If the herbivore had heard… he didn't care. He was beyond caring if the child could detect how his words left a bitter taste on his mouth but he made sure that his face was beyond sight.
"I detest and regret ever trusting you with your own."
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The past can never be changed.
The present and the future is all there is.
…and the future can only be determined by the present…
The past can never be changed for the past, present and the future overlaps… they overlap so much that it truly was difficult to determine which is the past and which is the present or if the future had just become the present and when has it become the past.
For all his pride is worth he could not escape one single thought.
"It's too late."
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"Hibari-san is something the matter?"
His eyes narrowed at that. "You shouldn't be thinking of anything else other than training at the moment Herbivore… do not forget that we are on a tight schedule and you are still undeniably weak."
Amber eyes bore on him, studying him and discerning him and so he glared. "What are you thinking, herbivore?"
"Hibari-san is confusing… and is confused."
He felt his hands subtly jerk at that… he can't be that transparent.
"At times I feel as if Hibari-san doesn't want to see me, and at time I see that you want to train me and at times you look as if you are not seeing me. Is something wrong…?"
"Do not flatter yourself Sawada Tsunayoshi. It is not you who I am thinking of."
The child's soft flames grew stronger… purer, warmer that he raised his brows wondering what the child was planning.
"Then what is Hibari-san thinking? I am sorry for being a bother and being nosy Hibari-san but I am a bit worried and somehow… I feel as if I should ask."
At that he tilted his head to the side a patronizing smile appearing on his face. "Oh? Is that so? If it has nothing to do with you then why would you need to know, Sawada Tsuna-"
"Don't call me that!"
Surprise overwhelms and it affects the both of them it would seem for the child himself was taken aback and so he asks…
"And why is that…?"
Confusion marred the child's eyes as if he himself was trying to understand what he was saying… typical.
"Hibari-san of this time doesn't call me that… I know it. The way you speak that name is as if it isn't how you usually address me. I want to know why. Why does it feel as if Hibari-san is most irate when I am near, that at times he looks at me and not see me at all, why is it that my intuition is screaming at me that Hibari-sans actions is unnatural… restrained."
"You are assuming a lot of things, Herbivore."
At that a small smile replaced the confusion along with the soft answer. "My assumptions are a lot trust worthy than my mind."
Exasperation is something he had forced himself to be accustomed to because of this child but honestly how can he disagree?
"Hibari-san-"
'Kyoya…'
But there are other things he had gotten accustomed to… and the sound of his name with that voice had been irritating him to no end.
"Another thing I wanna know… Why does Hibari-san hate hearing his name mentioned by me?"
A mocking smirk appeared on his face along with hate and annoyance. "Ask yourself that question… herbivore."
A moments silence and amber eyes looked away with a withering expression filled with sadness and blossoming realization. At that he turned away to leave… this isn't even a conversation that they should be having…
"What are we then, Kyoya?"
… but it would seem that the herbivore just won't leave him be…
He turned his gaze as he leveled the child with a stare. It was a slip of the tongue, something the child's intuition goaded him to say. Annoyance and irritation is nothing but an understatement now and so he said…
"Nothing. 'You' as yourself is nothing to me… you are a ghost of someone I know from the past. A complete stranger I have to train. That is all."
"Then why do you make that face then?! Why do you look at me like that?! Kyoya-"
With that he snapped. There is a limit to his patience and it is in itself isn't much. With a swing of his arm red splotches colored the ground. He glared at it for a moment before turning away to leave.
"We'll take a break I am sleepy and I have sacrificed enough sleeping time for you already. Be here early tomorrow for training and never… never call me like that again."
"But… I…"
This time he turned and he knew it to himself… denial time is over- he can only be stupid for so long
"I am not the one you should be calling that, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Other than that… The one who can call me by my name in such a way isn't you. You may be the same but then again the both of you are completely different. For one thing- you are alive."
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"I'll be seeing you then… Hibari- san."
It would seem as if the plan had worked.
He looked down at the expectant child whose looking somewhat accomplished… relieved and happy that he just had to sigh. He shifted his gaze upwards taking note that every child had gone and went back to their time except for this one.
He glared at every incompetent herbivore around taking note of their faked smiles, faked glee and completely guilty and pained eyes. They are looking as if they are loosing the sky the second time around- except that… this time they are aware.
"Hibari-san…?"
And the stupid herbivore this time is clueless.
If they refuse to tell him then he will not. It is a bother explaining and it's not as if the child won't figure it out eventually. He can tell by just looking at the other that this is no longer the child he had called weak a couple of days ago. He had grown exponentially- he'll be able to cope and so…
Taking a couple of steps forward he leaned in and regarded the child before a slow smirk appeared on his face.
"So young... and so short."
"Ehhh??!"
"I have completely forgotten just how lacking you were when it came to limb length at this age…" Taking note of those indignant eyes his smirk widened. "Do not worry… after just a couple of years you'll be able to grow… until you reach a height that's half a foot from mine. By then your eyes will be somewhat be sharper and yet still as clear as these, your hair longer and your voice deeper."
He reached out and felt warm skin on his fingertips… he could just see the blood race through the others face, heating it up and making the child flush. It was a familiar sight… a familiar feeling and what he is seeing is a familiar smile.
"Familiar… always had been familiar and similar and yet never the same." He saw confusion on those eyes and he shook his head. This is last time… the last before everything ends. This is the last and so…
"In the future you'll turn into someone completely different from who I knew…"
Maybe a moments weakness can be ignored.
"…You'll probably be a whole lot stronger…"
This is the last time and so maybe in front of this child…
"Hopefully by that time… a lot wiser."
… he can drop all pretense and let everything show…
"By then you won't stiffen when I hold you close to me like this…"
…maybe it is alright to be unreasonable and steal something that is essentially his…
"…a couple of years maybe shorter, you'll be used to kisses like this…"
…This is the last time…
With a lingering caress he backed off completely, standing still and undeniably calm watching the play of colors on the others skin.
"Kyoya…"
He shook his head at the breathless whisper of his name for that was all he could have done to remind himself that… everything is just familiar.
"How unfortunate, Tsunayoshi."
He ignored the questioning eyes as he made a gesture with his hands.
The last time… after this…
After that he moved back a bit reining on his irritation and for the first time allowed people to crowd next to him. This is the last time after all… the last chance for the storm, the rain, the thunder, the sun, the mist and the cloud to gather around the sky. The last time the Vongola Famiglia will ever see the Decimo… And with the absence of the rings on this time… the last of the Vongola line as it is in tradition.
After the 4th extreme hug, and the 5th indignant squeak he finally snapped and moved away.
Too much crowding…
"Come on guys! I do need to get back to my own time sooner or later... Besides we'll be seeing each other again! It's not like it's-"
The words stopped at his lips as his eyes grew ever bigger… he realized. Finally. The sun backed away as the cloud met with the sky. "It's the last time." Then the rain fell, fell like a gentle shower making the world more obscure. "Do not worry Tsuna, we'll be fine." But the rain became heavy giving way for the storm. "Just promise us… the tenth would never die for us again…" Then thunder fell, flashing violently supporting the storm making it stronger… "…yes, do remember that young Vongola. Your death in whatever time or situation would be counter productive."
The sky became upset tears streaming down so much like rain.
"Why?! I- I thought that after all of this we'll be… I thought that- I-I do not understand!"
"Kufufufufufufu…."
The mist descended and enveloped everything leaving a chill in the air- malicious and consuming. "Tsunayoshi-kun… I have little patience to denial and stupidity." Then it moved in slowly, eerily and warily. "When the Tsunayoshi-kun of this time decided that his death is more necessary than his life- I believe he understood. He isn't stupid- and so are you. The dead just doesn't come back to life, Tsunayoshi-kun. We won't be seeing 'you' again… but in a way yes, 'you' will be seeing 'us' again."
"But remember… 'this' isn't gonna be your future. Farewell, Tsunayoshi-kun."
As soon as it came the mist left… without a trace but never without an imprint. Then the sun was back, gleaming brightly, shinning and extreme. "You have gathered a strong family, Sawada. Trust us. We can get through with this- in one way or another we'll be alright cause no matter how much we are bound to you… we are not weak. We can stand alone. We WILL stand alone."
Pulled down to the ground the sky looked up. And decided that yes they can cope but still…
"… It isn't enough." Hearing the leveled voice Tsuna flinched as his eyes lowered boring unto the ground. "However… other than stubbornness, all of us do have one mare similarity…" Ebony met amber then and he smirked. "We are all unreasonable, Tsunayoshi."
"Ahh…" With a sigh and slight smile the child stood up eyes still gleaming with tear, sadness and regret but still he met their gaze cause they all understand…
…emotions can never be reasoned with…
"Well then this is goodbye."
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It was goodbye and it was final.
The sky had become unreachable and yet his heart remains unreasonable, it would seem as if time steals and denies a person a lot of things. He thought that time can dull aches and heal wounds but it would seem as if… time just like fate is choosy and unfair.
Then there is no choice then.
Emotions are unreasonable… that he realized but now he knows it's also completely illogical.
…Especially if the reason for all the pain is also unreachable…
And so if reason and logic is nonexistent, then maybe… just maybe…
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The sky may not completely be beyond his reach…
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The concept is a bit vague but I think it's kinda understandable… well I'm not sure. Anyway… I am hoping that whatever vague concept in this chapter may be clearer for you on the third and last chapter. Questions and clarifications are welcom. Criticisms are encouraged along with whatever comment you guys could give. XD
So please leave a REVIEW! XD
Next Chapter: Beyond Logic