Yes, I am back on Team 7.

Damn it.

I'll say it once more for effect.

Damn it.

I would say it again, but it wouldn't be funny a third time. Or any times after that in any case.

Let's face it; teamwork is too ingrained into my psyche to make myself fail the bell test OF DOOM. When most people use Kage Bushin, it's like suddenly there are two or more of the same individual fighting out there. However, when I use Kage Bushin, I-we fight as a cohesive unit. Has your brain exploded yet? Good.

I'm a master of the Kage Bushin. My teamwork is good that I probably couldn't mess it up even if I was blind, drunk, tied up, hanging upside down, going sixty miles per hour, and trying to mess it up. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but still.

I'm not going to be using Kage Bushin much in this life, but that's not the point. I know how the bastard and pinky think. I know how to make us act like a team even if we really don't' want to. And I really don't want to.

I'm probably just saying this because I'd make a horrible rank and file ninja. That and it's just not in me to go and not even try. That and I know that my knowledge of possible futures is most applicable in Team Seven.

So Pinky, the Bastard, and I are waiting in class all by ourselves waiting for sensei to show. I am very tempted to leave and go get lunch, but I won't.

Maybe I should, though. Sakura will bitch at me for up and leaving, but she'll get worried that I, and by extension, our team, will get in trouble. I wonder what her brain would come up with when she realizes that nobody's going to care about such a small infraction, especially since I'll be back by the time the Scarecrow shows up.

I broke out of my reverie for a moment to check if anything interesting was going on.

Nope. Of course not.

So Pinky is sitting next to Sasuke and trying (and failing) to get his attention by looking as shy and sickeningly cute as possible. Said bastard however, was lost in his own world. He was brooding, most likely; though he might be gloating on his victory. Since I'm his 'protégé,' to make me has even more time to make me stronger so he will be given a challenge. That's not even throwing sensei into account.

So yeah, Scarecrow sensei showed up three hours late, as usual. I did the standard eraser in the door trick, and I have a theory as to why he falls for it every time. No, it's not because he's too lazy to dodge. I could easily have some sort of powdered poison in there. Yeah, I know he has a good nose, but mine is better. If I make something that even I can't detect, he sure as hell won't be able to detect it.

But I'm getting off subject. My theory is that shinobi have trained themselves to have some sort of sixth sense. A danger sense, if you will. Anyway, anyone as obnoxiously skilled as Kakashi would unconsciously avoid anything even remotely dangerous without even a moment's glance, unfortunately even a poisoned eraser.

This eraser however, is completely harmless, and therefore below the radar. My spoils include a completely off guard jounin, an angry rosette, and a vaguely amused sociopath.

When we get up to the roof for introductions, I feel vaguely disgusted. Kakashi's completely useless intro gives me the feeling that he's proud that he is responsible for half the remedial class. Asshole. Sasuke reminds us all of his need for revenge. Most of us don't' get to devote our lives to a single purpose. Bastard. Sakura reminds of what a perfect ordinary life she has. Bitch.

My hatred of her is really for her own good. She doesn't belong with us misfits. She doesn't know the ghosts that Kakashi carries with him. She doesn't know what it's like to be hated, let alone be the object of hatred of an entire village. She can't possibly understand the trauma of being the Last Uchiha. In short, she has never been alone.

I do have reasons for hating Sasuke. See, in my first life, as well as several others, he became the big, bad villain. Even going on to kill me once or twice. And while I know right now he is redeemable, sometimes I think we would all be better off if I just killed him here and now. I know I shouldn't think like that, but it would solve so many problems down the road. Ugh. Sasuke isn't a big deal right now, but if he abandons Konoha, he could grow into an S class problem.

I tell them that they already ought to know my name, my dream, and if my dislikes and hobbies aren't obvious in a few days, then you're all idiots.

So Kakashi reminds us that we have a test tomorrow, don't be late and whatever you do, don't eat breakfast.

Because if you do, you'll throw up.

Dumbass.

Even in my first life I knew that it was better to throw up after eating breakfast than to not eat at all.

Two words, my friends: Dry Heaves. Yeah, far worse than throwing up. Besides, missing one meal isn't that horrible.

See, there s a secret that hardly anyone knows, in my first life I did eat breakfast that day. A light one, but a breakfast none of the less. Yeah, sensei was so late that we would have been starving regardless of whether we had food or not.

So yeah, the next day while we're waiting I ask Sakura if she has done her homework. Did she do any research on Kakashi? Who is, by the way, is already two hours late.

She just looks at me like I've grown a second head.

No. of course not. She's still in that stage where the authorities are never wrong. Given the slightly questioning look on the Uchiha's face, I'm guessing he didn't do his homework either. Granted, at that age I wouldn't have thought to suspect Kakashi, but then again I was the class idiot. These two are supposed to be Leaf's best and brightest.

Why that is, I have no idea. Sasuke I understand. He's good. Really good. Pinky though, she sucks. The only things she has going for her are her book smarts and good chakra control. Both of those are overpowered by the tiny reserves and her abysmal practical skills.

So this is the point where I sigh and mutter under my breath about being the only one to do his homework. Which I did actually go to the library and do. I might already know everything about sensei, but I don't need them checking my stories and finding things missing.

"So you're telling me that you two don't know about Sharingan no Kakashi?" Pinky is still staring at me like I'm stupid, but the bastard tenses up. I've got his attention now. And when she realizes I got her 'true love's' attention, Sakura will hang on to my every word.

"Kakashi sensei is one of the most skilled Jounin in the whole village. It's even rumored that he has mastered over a thousand jutsu with his Sharingan. Apparently, he was a student of the Fourth Hokage." Yeah, I love being able to lecture, especially since I'm usually the one everyone needs to explain everything to.

At this, the bastard smirked and Pinky started beaming. I guess they thought this was a pretty good deal. Time to burst their bubble.

"He's also famous for his eternal tardiness and the test of the bells."

Their faces fell with my announcement, but they stared at me; clearly wanting me to elaborate.

"Surely you know what the word 'tardy' means. But the bell test?" I shrugged. "Apparently, he's gonna have a couple of bells that we're gonna have to steal from him. Anyone who doesn't steal a bell by the end of the test is sent back to the Academy."

Cue epic screech. "What? We just passed the Genin Exam. He can't just boot us back like that!" Sasuke hn-ed in agreement.

I shrugged again. "Apparently he can. I checked the archives. He hasn't passed a Genin team in ten years. Face it, Sakura, Sasuke; we're going up against the guy responsible for almost half the remedial class."

Pinky's nerves must be getting to her. She looks like she's about to faint. It's funny that they don't question how I got that kind of clearance.

"Yo, Blondie's right, if he was still in the Academy I'd give him a gold star." Of course everyone knows that gold stars are virtually meaningless.

Shit. How did I not notice that sensei showed up in his masked eye smiling glory.

Kakashi pulled out an alarm clock and a pair of bells. "Alright you have till noon to get a bell. If you fail, not only do you not get lunch," He pointed to a box of bentos that came from nowhere. "But you are also booted back into the Academy. He who sucks the worst will be forced to watch me eat."

And so it begins…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Authors Note

Thanks for the reviews. You know who you are. However, special thanks to Tergar no Konoha. Reviews like that are worth their word count in gold! Thanks a ton!

So the bell test begins.

R&R plz.