Title: Idiotic Pictures
Universe: xxxHOLiC
Theme/Topic: Camera
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: Doumeki, Watanuki
Warnings/Spoilers: Takes place after Kohane gets her wish granted, but that really has nothing to do with anything. It's longer than it needs to be, I think.
Summary: Give an idiot a camera and he'll take idiotic pictures.
Dedication: You. :]
A/N: This is mostly DouWata friendship, but can be taken as more if you look for it.
Disclaimer: I don't even own a film camera, let alone CLAMP or anything.
Distribution: Don't do it.

Watanuki was in his apartment, taking the time to make himself a snack. He smiled as he wandered around his kitchen, gathering the needed ingredients and setting them on the counter. With a small smile still gracing his lips, he started slowly mixing the ingredients together. A bright flash filled the room and he blinked back temporary blindness. He looked toward the source of the flash. He saw Doumeki standing there with a camera up to his face. The seer didn't sense the connection before Doumeki took another picture, once again blinding him. He blinked a few times before rounding on Doumeki. "What are you doing taking pictures of me without my permission?!" he yelled before adding, "You're in my apartment, again!" He stomped closer to him. "How did you even get in here, I didn't hear a thing!!"

Doumeki lowered the camera from his face, showing his constant expressionlessness. "I'm sneaky," he said.

"Sneaky my foot! You're just a big oaf!" he stepped closer and put his hand over the camera lens to prevent more unwanted pictures. "Why were you taking pictures of me, huh?! Jeez, give an idiot a camera and he'll—" he paused, taking notice of the camera for the first time. "Whoa, this thing is ancient! They don't even make these anymore!" he exclaimed, moving the camera around to get a better look at it. His hand was still covering the lens. "It looks brand new! IS THAT FILM?" he asked in disbelief as he glanced up at Doumeki, who merely shrugged. "Where'd you even get something like this?"

"Yuuko," he replied, amused at Watanuki's sudden curiosity.

"Oh yeah? Why?" he asked, still examining the camera in Doumeki's hands. Was that a film advancer?!

"Payment for a job," he stated simply. "She gave me three extra rolls of film, too."

Watanuki released the camera and scoffed, positioning his hands on his hips. "I don't even think they develop film anymore."

Doumeki quickly raised the camera and took another picture of Watanuki. "Don't worry, I'll find a place," he smirked slightly.

Watanuki flailed and reached for the camera, "No more pictures of me, dammit!" He got his hands on it and fought with Doumeki, pulling the camera in all different directions. Doumeki mistakenly never took his finger off the shutter button, so the flash went off multiple times before he pushed Watanuki away. He looked down at the camera.

"That was four pictures, wasted," he said with a sigh.

Watanuki smirked and crossed his arms, "That's what you get!"

Doumeki looked down at the camera again. "I want unagi… I'll take a picture of it."

Watanuki flipped and flailed, and made his usual complaints about Doumeki.


Three weeks passed. With every new week, Doumeki started a new roll of film. He kept the undeveloped film with him at all times, in his pockets; running the risk of ruining the film through overheating. Watanuki had asked one day, 'When are you going to develop those stupid rolls of film?' to which Doumeki replied, 'When I'm done taking pictures,' and immediately took a picture of the seer. Flailing and violence had occurred.

Around the middle week four, Doumeki was walking Watanuki home after work when he presented him with four packets of pictures.

"Why are you giving me these?" he asked incredulously, taking them from Doumeki's hands.

"I got doubles," the archer replied.

"But, I mean—"

"It's fair. You were there when I took most of the pictures." With that, Doumeki turned and left Watanuki on his doorstep. He looked down at the packets and went inside.

He dropped his things unceremoniously onto the floor and sat down at his kitchen table. He opened the first packet of pictures and immediately recognized it to be the first week. The top picture was of him in his kitchen, making food. He flipped through a few more pictures and noticed the blurry ones that got taken during the fight. He chuckled. He looked through a few more; some were random things like a street light or a store front. He studiously ignored the picture of the unagi he made that first week. He flipped a few more. One was of him, taken from a side view, walking through falling sakura pedals with a small smile on his face. Another was at school, they were at lunch and he was talking to Himawari, their lunches in their laps. He smiled a little. The last one was Doumeki at archery practice. His eyes were trained forward, focusing on the target, bow and arrow in position.

He scoffed a bit and opened the second packet. The top picture was the temple in midmorning, the sun gleaming through the trees, casting shadows onto the ground. The next pictures were more random objects, including Doumeki's shoes as they sat in the threshold. Watanuki admitted that it was somehow poetic, but scoffed anyway. The pictures after that were blurry, which was another fight for dominance over the camera. Watanuki had won that time; and indeed the pictures after that were of Doumeki, looking a little peeved. Watanuki chuckled. The very next picture was a blurry picture of Doumeki; at the time, Watanuki was walking backwards and had tripped over something mid-picture. He almost broke the camera.

The next few were of the park, where Yuuko had demanded them to meet for some 'fun'. One was of Yuuko going down the slide, crashing into Watanuki and sending him tumbling. Another one was of Mokona on the swings with Yuuko. Another was of Yuuko and Mokona holding up a cup of sake, with Doumeki's arm extending into the picture from out of view. And other of Watanuki, looking considerably irritated with the person taking the picture, namely Doumeki. The last of the pictures was of all of them crammed into the frame. Watanuki was being piled on, so he looked rather annoyed. Yuuko and Mokona both had beaming smiles, and even Doumeki was smiling a little. He stared down at it and smiled. True to Yuuko's word, it was a fun day. He got up and put it under a magnet on his refrigerator. He smiled at it for a second before repositioning himself at his kitchen table.

He opened the third packet. Many of the first ones were random; the top of an electrical pole, a bird in mid-flight, a stray cat, someone hanging out their clothes to dry. The next few were taken when they met up with Kohane. Some of him together with Kohane, some by himself, some of Kohane smiling by herself, and even some of the food they were eating. The last of the Kohane pictures was of him smiling warmly. He smiled to himself. That was when he was promising he'd see Kohane again soon.

The next few were of rain, rather, running through the rain. The next one was of him in Doumeki's house, looking down at his soaked clothes with an irritated look on his face. The ones after that were of him sitting around on the tatami in a borrowed yukata, making faces (and gestures) at the camera. The last few were of Watanuki in his own apartment; cleaning and yelling at the buffoon taking pictures of him and getting in the way.

Setting the third packet aside, he opened the final packet. The first picture was of Doumeki sitting at his kitchen table with his hair disheveled, seemingly eating breakfast. Watanuki raised an eyebrow. The next few were of random objects in Doumeki's house, including the washing machine and Doumeki's collection of archery trophies. The next two were of himself when he met up with Doumeki one morning. The next one was of the lunch Watanuki had made for him one day. The next few were of Doumeki at archery practice again. This time, he was looking at the camera more. In one he was actually smirking. The ones after that were taken inside the shop. Yuuko was making faces in a couple, Mokona was chugging a bottle of sake in another. Some were of him in his apron and bandana, serving snacks and refilling sake glasses. Very few were of Maru and Moro dancing around. The last one of that occasion had a smirking Doumeki with his arm around an irked Watanuki's shoulders. Doumeki's other arm was extended out of frame, holding the camera.

Around the end were pictures of the beginning of a festival that was held at Doumeki's temple. Some pictures were of people setting up the stands. Some were of priestesses decorating. The very last few were of Doumeki. In one he was busily setting something up. The next was closer to him, his eyes a little wider in surprise. The very last one was of Doumeki with a dazzling smile on his face.

Watanuki gaped and flushed a little.

Doumeki was smiling. Mr. Expressionless was smiling.

Watanuki stood up and placed the pictures back in their respective packets, leaving the smiling Doumeki out. He left the pictures on the table. He picked up the picture he left out and walked to his bedroom. In his room, he stopped and looked down at the picture of Doumeki once more. He slipped it under his pillow, wondering why Doumeki never smiled like that around him.

Not far away, Doumeki slipped the picture of Watanuki smiling under his own pillow, wondering the exact same thing.

I got this idea when I was going through my brother's camera. It was filled with bad pictures of random objects and I commented, "Gosh, give an idiot a camera and he'll take idiotic pictures," and BAM. Doumeki wielding a camera with Watanuki not too far away saying that line popped into my head. Although, this story didn't come out as good as I imagined. Question(s): If someone took a picture somewhere where there happened to be a spirit, do you think Watanuki could see it through the picture? Can you even take pictures in/of Yuuko's shop? The world may never know… Reviews are wanted, please! Tell me how much I sucked.