It's an angsty one, ya'lls
Leia's stomach felt awful. It complained all morning, it rumbled Leia was afraid someone would hear it. Its sides were rubbing together, back and forth, and her head hurt.
She hadn't eaten breakfast that morning. She'd read that in the ancient times, the Monks of the Goddess Shiraya, Mama's Goddess, would fast for days on end to remind themselves they were mortal, and thus could not critique others.
Leia guessed it was working, because all she could think about was how hungry she was, and that meant all she could think of was her fist hitting that sleemo's face. And how that was wrong. She'd been wrong to hit him.
But he'd been wrong too. Ahsoka was a brave Jedi, an amazing pilot, and one of the smartest people Leia had ever met. She'd been taken from her home planet when she was a baby, so she didn't know anything about them. And the Togrutta's hadn't left the Republic to join the Separatists anyway. So his comments didn't make any sense. He'd just been spreading non-human rhetoric.
She should have gotten a teacher. He might have gotten suspended. But then he would just go home to his parents who would tell him he was right, and nothing would be solved.
She wished Luke hadn't gotten into it. He was going to suffer from missing school a lot more than her. But when Marshall had pinned her to the ground, Luke had jumped on his back and bit his ear until it bled and needed stitches. Even though Marshall was four years older than them, and was the fastest runner in the school, he'd still screamed like he was dying. Which he wasn't. It took a lot more than a bloody ear and a broken nose to kill someone. Leia had a black eye herself and she hadn't cried at all. Even when the teacher put ice on it.
It did hurt though. But neither the empty stomach, or the black eye were working. She knew that if Marshall was in front of her she'd do it again.
Maybe she should have eaten breakfast after all. She wished Daddy had made her eat breakfast. But he was so used to her feeding herself he hadn't even asked her if she had.
Leia knew that it was her own fault, but it made her feel awful and horribly lonely to know that Daddy didn't even notice if she ate or not.
Luke didn't seem to mind. He'd scarfed down two fruits and a meat pie this morning, and then he'd dragged Leia down to help him take some engine apart and clean it. He was almost happy they were suspended, because he had time to work on it now
It was all strewn out on the table now, with parts everywhere. Luke had laid them carefully in straight lines, and now he was going through each part and cleaning it.
"You still have to do your classwork, you know." Leia said. She'd already finished hers. Without anyone to talk to or help, it had only taken a couple hours.
Luke shrugged, rubbing at a part with an oiled rag. He had a big oily splotch across his face, but he didn't seem to have noticed. "I can do it later. When Mommy gets home."
Leia rolled her eyes. "Mama won't always be able to help us, you know."
"Just like Daddy couldn't stop us from getting suspended?" Luke demanded.
Leia's face burned, and her stomach growled. "Yeah." She mumbled. "Like that."
Luke put down the part and picked up another, he looked it over and picked up a brush made of metal and started scrubbing at a few parts. "We'll have to go back to school in a week." He said.
"So?"
"Do you think you'll stop being so grumpy by then?"
Leia groaned. "Marshall got suspended for a week and a half. I have more time than that."
"Well, I guess." Luke said. He put down the brush and picked up the rag. "But when you're grumpy you correct the teacher's grammar too much."
Leia scowled some more.
Luke set down the part, it was the last one on the table. He hopped down and ran over to the bucket where he'd been soaking the particularly bad ones. He stuck his hand down, ruining his sleeve in the gummy goop and pulled out a handfull of parts, he ran back to the table and tossed them on. Then he climbed up himself.
"Maybe you could ask Dad." He said.
Leia looked at him, eyes narrow. "Why would I ask Dad?"
"Well, he knows how to stop being angry." Luke said. "He punched Obi-Wan Kenobi and everything, and now he's better. Maybe he could teach you."
Daddy had enough to worry about. Just being on Coruscant was enough, but with Mommy being gone more, Shmi being sick, and their suspensions, he was all stressed. It was just like Luke to suggest these sorts of things when it just wasn't practical.
"Maybe." She said, so he wouldn't argue with her.
"I think that would be a great idea." Luke said brightly. "You should ask him when he comes down to help me test the engine."
Leia didn't say anything. She turned around and hopped off the bench and walked out of the shop.
Mommy had four spaces in the apartment garage, but they only had two speeders. Well, three, but Daddy was still working on that one. He'd taken the other two spaces and put shelves up to make walls to make his own shop right in the building. He'd wanted to rent one, but there wasn't one in the budget nearby. Yet. Mommy was seeing if she had some favors to pull.
Leia sat down outside the door. Most of the senator's had already left to go to work, so it was nice and quiet.
She closed her eyes, and breathed carefully, and touched the force.
The world exploded with energy, and not the calming, soothing energy of plants, but of people. Their energies jostled and bounced off each other into Leia and out again, a thousand different species and genders and ways of life- so much life, so much to take in.
It crashed against her, shouting and whispering all at once. It would have been better if they were all the same species, or the same culture, but Coruscant was never the same anywhere. The only dependable thing was that there wasn't a scrap of natural earth left anywhere. No order. No rules. Just chaos.
Leia jerked herself out and curled up into a ball, setting her arms on her knees. Her stomach rumbled, and her headache was getting worse. Her eye throbbed just the same as ever.
She wished they were home, on Naboo. She'd dreamed of it, last night, of the peaceful hills of grass. She'd been grateful for her own room at last, so she didn't have to keep her sobs quiet.
A door slid open, Leia glanced over.
Ahsoka walked across the concrete floor, staring at her comm.
"Ahsoka?" Leia said. It echoed across the big empty room.
She looked up at Leia. "What?"
"How-" She shrunk down a little. "How do you meditate on Coruscant? I've been trying and- and it's not working."
Ahsoka paused, then she walked over and sat criss cross in front of Leia. She set her elbows on her knees and set her chin on her knitted fingers. "It's difficult." She said. "The peace is still there, but you have to submit yourself to the energy, more so than usual, so you can move with the force. If you try to stay in one place, you'll get knocked around. But if you move with the current, you'll be okay. Like… like a ball on top of a river chained to the riverbed." She cocked her head. "Make sense?"
"Yeah." Leia looked down at her legs. "Daddy never said that."
"Your dad," Ahsoka said, a smile on her face, "is terrible at meditating. That's an advanced technique. I learned it from- from a friend."
Leia wriggled her toes, tracing out a pattern in the stone floor. "Do you think they could teach me?"
"Well, no." Ahsoka looked at the floor too. "She's in prison. She was a friend of mine, but during the war- she- she did some bad things."
"You can tell me." Leia muttered. "I'm not a baby."
"Ask your dad."
Leia scowled. Why did everyone want her to go to Daddy when he so clearly didn't need any extra work? "Could you teach me?"
"I-" she frowned. "I dunno. It took me two years. I almost had it down even before I met your dad." Ahsoka shrugged. "I didn't just jump in. I started shielded from Coruscant, gradually was more and more exposed until I was used to it."
"Well how do I find a place that doesn't have any people on Coruscant?" Leia said, throwing her arms up.
"Well-" Ahsoka but her lip. "There is one place. It's got people, but it's shielded in the force."
Only one place on Coruscant had enough force users to do that. "The Jedi Temple?"
"Yeah…"
The Jedi! Maybe now she could finally find out what they did to Daddy. And if she could relearn meditation at the same time…
"Can I go? Please? Please? I'll be good and polite and do everything you say."
Ahsoka frowned, cringing back. "I mean, I have an appointment there. But-"
"But what?"
"Just… don't tell him what I do there. Okay? Say I was meditating, or something."
Leia stared, then squinted. "It's not another mission, is it? Because Daddy said you weren't allowed-"
"No- no." Ahsoka held up her hands. "I swear. No. I'm just learning Shilli. The Togrutan language?"
"I know it's the Togrutan language." Leia wrinkled her nose. "Why?"
"Cause I want to. That's why. Okay?" Ahsoka crossed her arms. "What's wrong with that?"
"You want to keep it a secret. That's what's wrong."
"You don't need to know everything, okay." She smiled kinda harshly. "Listen, you want to come or not?"
Well, she did very much want to see what the Jedi were like, and why Daddy didn't like them. And she did, almost as much, want to learn to meditate. And why would learning Shili be bad? It was probably just a surprise. And there was only one way to find out if it was something bad.
"Yes. I'll keep your secret." Leia decided, crossing her arms.
"Okay." Ahsoka stood up. "I'll get my speeder ready. You tell your dad."
Leia jumped up and ran around to the opening where Luke was arms deep in the bucket again. "Luke, I'm going with Ahsoka to the Jedi temple. Tell Daddy when he comes down."
Luke looked up, pulling out another dripping fistful of parts. "The Jedi temple? Cool!" He grinned. "Okay."
Leia ran back around towards Ahsoka's speeder. It was old, and kinda clunky, but it ran really smooth. It had a driver's seat and a passenger's seat covered by glass. Somehow, Ahsoka had rigged a place for Artoo in the trunk. She'd ripped off the trunk cover and replaced it with a droid port, with plasteel covering the wiring she must have added.
Ahsoka opened the passenger door and leaned into the passenger's side, tossing things to the floor. A stack of folders, a ton of wrappers for feed, a box of tracking devices, a sleeping roll, and an empty fast food container from Dex's. She heaved out a massive toolbox from the speeder's floor and set it on the garage's ground.
She clapped her hands together and wiped the dust on her overalls. "There."
Leia examined the newly emptied seat carefully. There were two grease stains on it, but they looked dry. She crawled in.
Ahsoka climbed in the driver's side. She had to slam the door twice for it to properly shut.
"You should fix that." Leia said.
"I'll fix it when I have the time." Ahsoka said, which meant never. Unless it stopped closing at all. Then it would be illegal.
Still, the engine had a really nice, smooth rumble as they crawled out of the garage. Leia watched the buildings fly by as they drove through the airstreets. Each building was at least several hundred stories tall, and each one had thousands and thousands of people inside, and there were still more people that worked in those buildings, and more people that flew by it every single day. And more people that didn't, but just happened to be doing it right now.
Somewhere out there was Marshall's parents, telling him all sorts of lies.
Leia's head twinged. She slumped down and stared at her feet. One of the toes still ached from when she'd kicked his leg.
"I'm taking you to the Room of a Thousand fountains." Ahsoka said. "It's in the center of the temple. It's where I first learned to meditate. It'll only be for a couple hours. You can explore the room when you're done meditating, if you want, but try to keep my location in your head. If you get lost, let me know in the force."
"Oh. Okay."
The Room of a Thousand Fountains. Surely it was an expression. It would be way too impractical to make a thousand manmade waterfalls, especially on Coruscant. Maybe it was where they worked the water that ran through the building. Daddy had once complained about how the Jedi gave fancy names to everything. Though he'd been talking about the scientific names of animals. He'd been really surprised when Leia told him those were standard across the scientific community in the galaxy, and she also learned them in school.
"How far is it?"
Ahsoka shrugged. "Not far at all. Look, you can see the spires in between those buildings now."
Leia leaned forward. She caught a glimpse before it disappeared behind a skyscraper.
"Wow. Daddy always made it sound so far away."
Ahsoka snorted. "That's rich, considering what he used to do."
"What?"
"Oh, you know. When he snuck over to visit your mom."
Leia frowned. "Why would he do that?"
Ahsoka sighed. Hard. "Because Jedi aren't allowed to have families."
Leia heart skipped a beat. Finally, some answers. "Dad was a Jedi?"
Ahsoka actually looked away from the steering wheel and stared at Leia. "You didn't know?"
"Look at the road." Leia hissed. "You're not supposed to look away-"
"Yeah yeah. I got it." Ahsoka looked forward again. "I just- did he tell you anything about his past?"
"He talks about the war sometimes. With Rex."
Ahsoka made a funny face at the road. "Does he really hate the Jedi that much?"
"Yee-up."
"Sheesh. Harsh. I mean, I get it. But harsh." She pointed out again. "There's the building."
Leia stretched up, and frowned. It looked like someone had shaved off the edges of a brick at an angle and stuck five sticks at the corners and the middle.
"It looks dumb."
"It's not dumb." Ahsoka said. She almost snapped. "it was based after the oldest temples, thousands and thousands of years ago. Back when we would build them out of stone. It's one of the oldest buildings on Coruscant."
"Still dumb."
"Look, do you want to go in with me or not?"
"... yes please."
So she wasn't to critique the Jedi Temple in front of Ahsoka. Luke would have understood.
They dove beneath the surface of the city, circling the temple. Leia only realized how big it was when it took them almost two minutes to cross one side.
They landed in the Jedi's parking garage. Ahsoka stretched a bit, and poked Leia.
"What?"
"Touch the force."
Leia frowned and closed her eyes. She gasped.
"It's so- so-"
"Soothing?"
"Yeah."
Ahsoka shoved her door open. "That's what a thousand years of Jedi will do to a place. Home."
She waved to some of the engineers working on ships, and to some of the droids too. They all smiled. One even joked that they would need Ahsoka's help fixing a ship.
They rode up an elevator to a hallway. Leia kept on craning her head up, because there were paintings on the ceiling, but it was so far up she couldn't make them out.
"They're as tall as the palace on Naboo." Leia exclaimed.
"We like to keep things airy." Ahsoka said. "Come on."
Leia didn't mean to slow them down. But they kept on running into cool paintings, and statues, or pottery carved with the old form of Basic, which Ahsoka wouldn't let her stop to read.
"I'm going to be late, Leia. Pick up the pace-" she hissed when Leia noticed a mosaic in the tiles on the floor.
They passed Jedi while they walked. Leia had never seen so many species in her life. There were Togrutas and Twileks and Mirialin's and Wookies and Bothans as well as humans. She even saw some flying species go above them.
They all seemed to fit together though, all neat like. Maybe because they all wore the same brown robes.
"You grew up here?"
"Yeah."
Leia couldn't help but think that no one could grow up with a prejudice against any species here. Maybe her school should stuff Marshall here instead of his home.
"Here we are- the Room of a Thousand Fountains."
Leia froze in the doorway.
The Room of a Thousand Fountains was not a water management room. It was a green house. The biggest greenhouse Leia had even seen.
The ceiling was even higher than the ceilings in the hallways. And it must have been a least hundreds of meters wide. Hills dozens of feet high sloped up and down, coated in green. More green than Leia had seen in weeks.
There were doors up and down all along the walls, and pathways leading down into the room.
Sunlight glowed down into the room from huge skylights, glittering off a huge pond, and she could taste the air, wet and fresh in her nose and mouth.
There were flowers, and trees and bushes. Leia even recognized a vine on the wall from their garden at home.
Her headache just vanished, helpless against the clean air and beautiful view. Even her eye didn't seem to hurt so much.
She burst into tears.
"Oh- Shavit. Leia. Are you- shavit. Don't cry. It's okay. I'm sorry about rushing you-"
"It's okay." Leia choked on the tickle her throat and wiped her nose. "It's th-the most beautiful thing-ing" she forced herself to breath, "-in the galaxy."
It was even better than Naboo, because Naboo was beautiful everywhere, but no one could have guessed such a wonderful thing was tucked away underneath the ugly gray buildings of Coruscant.
"How-ow long can we stay-ay?"
Ahsoka's face softened. "Until I have to go." She tugged Leia's hand. "Come on."
Leia followed her, staring and staring at the plants around them. Her stomach didn't feel hungry anymore, but she felt like she might starve if she ever stopped looking.
They went over a river on a stone bridge- she hadn't seen a stone bridge in so long- and they went up a hill of grass and flowers to a higher level. The path wound back and forth, with nowhere to go except to enjoy the world around them.
They turned a corner. Under a beautiful tree with leaves that were on long strings there was another Togruta. Her Lekku's stripes were much thinner than Ahsoka's, and so long they curled on the ground.
She smiled at them. "You are late." She said, a lovely accent on her tongue.
"It's my fault." Leia offered. "I slowed her down."
The woman stared at her. Leia a prickle up her back that meant she was seeing her in the force as well as with her eyes.
"You are Skywalker's child." She said, finally.
So she knew Daddy. "Yes."
"She wanted somewhere peaceful to meditate." Ahsoka explained.
"The temple is open to all who seek peace." The woman said. She held out her hand. "I am Shaak Ti, Jedi Master, member of the High Council, and acting Master of the Jedi Order."
Leia took her hand and placed her forehead against it the way they did on Naboo.
"I'm Leia Naberre Skywalker. Um. Student and from Naboo."
Shaak Ti laughed. But it didn't sound mean, just happy. "There is no need to make titles for yourself, youngling. I imagine they will come soon enough."
Ahsoka sat in front of the Jedi. She pulled out her comm and turned it on. "I was studying the curriculum you gave me, but I didn't understand this-" she held up a symbol Leia didn't know. "The sound, I can't seem to get it right. I listened to the recording, but I don't think my comm's speaker is good enough for my Lekku to pick up the subtleties."
Shaak Ti frowned. "Play the sound."
Ahsoka pressed a button. A soft trilling sound came out. It sounded wild and deep in the throat. Leia's throat burned even thinking about trying it.
Shaak Ti nodded slowly. "Ah yes, it misses the depth of tone." She made the exact same trilling noise. "Like this."
Ahsoka nodded, face serious, like there was an obvious difference between the two. She made the same noise, winced, then made the same noise again.
"Good." Shaak Ti praised.
Leia looked from her to Ahsoka. "Is Togruta hearing better than human hearing?" She demanded.
They both looked at her.
"It is." Shaak Ti said. "Are you thinking of learning as well?"
"Maybe someday." Leia shrugged. "I was just wondering." She leaned on her knees and watched them.
Ahsoka squirmed. "Leia, you wanted to meditate, right?"
Leia opened her mouth to say that this room was better than any meditation, but Ahsoka looked so earnest she changed her mind.
"Yeah. I'll go find a good place."
She wandered away from them. She went uphill, and over another stone bridge, to her delight. The stone road clicked on her shoes, filling her up in a way that nothing on Coruscant had in a long, long time. There were so many people on Coruscant, billions and billions of them, and she wasn't sure why any of them wanted to be there, in the pollution and steel and gray. If it was up to her she'd move away first chance she got.
She wandered off the path, absently. She picked at a flowery bush, plucking one of the yellow flowers off. She plucked each petal off, and squealed.
Underneath each petal was a leaf from the stem, forming a smaller flower.
Quickly she picked several more and stuffed them in her pocket. She circled the bush, and found the pokey branches had been cut away to make a hole close to the ground. She dropped to the ground and looked through.
It looked just big enough for her. She covered her hair with her arm so it wouldn't get caught in the branches, and scooched forward on her stomach.
But as soon as she passed the hole the tunnel grew big enough that she could crawl on her hands and knees and not worry about her hair at all.
The tunnel ended after a meter or so, but there was a nice round dome to sit in. Leia tucked her feet under her legs and looked all around. Here were the branches and stems of the plant that grew out into the flowers. It was thick enough she couldn't see outside, except for a few glimpses of sunlight. It seemed quieter too.
It was perfect for meditation.
Leia closed her eyes and set her hands on her legs and touched the force.
Cool, sweet calm rushed over her. It was busier than Naboo, she could feel Shaak Ti and Ahsoka a little ways away, and all the Jedi in the temple. But everyone's presence was soft and soothing, close to themselves and well behaved. It was easy to ignore them and focus on the plants. She supposed the Jedi trained themselves to be that way.
Leia closed her eyes, and for the first time in weeks was still.
When she was little, she'd struggled to touch the force. Daddy had done all the work at first, touching the backs of their minds to call them for dinner, or crawling in to see how they felt. But then suddenly Luke had started doing it too. He'd started being able to tell where Mommy and Daddy were all the time, and how other people besides Leia was feeling. He'd even floated a rock.
It was easy for him and Daddy, they touched the force all the time, whether they wanted to or not. Leia had been able to connect with Luke. To talk with him, and to feel how he felt, but not with anyone else. She'd stared at rocks and toys until her eyes hurt, but she couldn't make anything float.
Leia hadn't been able to do anything until Ahsoka taught her to sit still and wait for the force to come to her. Even though Leia could usually do it now without meditation, it felt wrong. Like making a kid you didn't know come and play, instead of asking first.
So Luke and Daddy made things dance and float and used the force all the time, probably because they lived with it so much they knew each other already. But Leia still had to get to know it.
"Found you!" A voice said.
Leia jumped. "What?"
"At the entrance, silly. Come and help me look."
Leia ducked down, pressing her hands against the earth. She saw a huuuge eyeball staring at her from the hole.
"You're a Mon Calamari." Leia exclaimed.
"And you're just a human." The person retorted. "Come and help me look. Lousy shield. You were easy to find."
Leia blinked, and crawled through the tunnel, flattening herself to the ground. "What kind of shield?" She poked her head out of the entrance.
"What-" The Mon Calamari blinked. "You're not in our Creche!" They pointed their fin. "You're hurt"
Stupid Marshall. "I got punched." Leia scooched out, blinking at the light. "Are you playing Hide and Seek? Can I play?"
They frowned. "You should go to your own Creche, you can't play with ours without permission."
"But I'm not in a Creche. Ahsoka took me here. I'm visiting."
"Ahsoka." The Mon Calamari gasped. "Ashoka Tano? The Sith Capturer?"
Leia blinked. "You mean Darth Maul? Yeah, she caught him."
"Are you her Padawan?"
"No. She's my sister." Leia stuck out her hand. "I'm Leia Naberre Skywalker."
Instead of pressing their forehead to her hand, they grasped it in their fin and shook it back and forth. "I'm Nurah."
"Oh! That's pretty." Leia glanced around them. "How do we find everybody?"
"Easy." Nurah took both of Leia's hands. "Here. Let me show you."
"... you're Skywalker's child?"
Leader Minnee had a face like a Lothcat, covered in fur, with big green eyes and huge ears that twitched every other second. He tilted his head and sniffed at the air towards Leia, still soaking wet. "You certainly have some of his scent…"
Leia shivered in her wet clothes. The last hider had been Tan Ganjee, a Nautolan. He'd been hiding at the bottom of a lake. "I… smell like my dad?"
"A little. Comes with living with him." The ears twitched a little here and there. "You are here at the temple with Ahsoka."
"You should let her stay with us, Minnee." One of the members of the Creche said. They were human too, but her hair was so curly she had to wear a scarf to keep it out of the way. "She learned to find us really fast, and she doesn't know how to shield at all."
Minnee's nose twitched, but he smiled. "Well, I don't know if I can let her stay, but she may be with us until Jedi Knight Ahsoka Tano takes her home."
"Yay!"
There was another leader, named Entra, a human. He smiled at Minnee, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. He leaned against a huge box, covered with insulation. "What is temple coming to these days? Visitors, visits to home planets, changes to the code?" He chuckled.
Minnee hissed playfully at him, and turned back to the group. "Well, little ones, now that you have thoroughly exhausted yourself, we may meditate now."
Leia blinked, then blurted out- "That's what I came here to do!"
"Really?" Tan Ganjee said. His clothes were dry, because he'd been smart enough to strip down to his underwear before jumping in the water. But Leia and Nurah had been too afraid he'd get away. "Why?"
"Cause I'm not good enough yet to do it outside the temple. That's why."
"Sit down everyone." Minnee commanded.
Everyone stopped chattering and plopped down on the grass, crossing their legs. Leia examined their pose carefully, and copied them. It wasn't too different from what Ahsoka did.
Entra sat down opposite Minnee, closing his eyes for the group.
"Close your eyes." Minnee commanded. "Now, think of what you last saw. The backs of your friends, the grass, the trees, and cast it away. It is gone now, as is our sight…" His voice was soothing and low, mixed with purs and a low hum, almost like a meditation in and of itself. A ripple of calm echoed out from him through the force. Leia shivered, and looked around.
Now that they were all standing still, it was easy to count them. She'd tried earlier, but they were all too busy running around. But now it was easy. Twenty two younglings, not counting Leia, and two leaders.
"Someone's presence does not reach towards the force." Minnee said, warning.
Leia quickly closed her eyes and enveloped herself in the force, letting the calm presence of the plants fill her to bursting.
She felt a flicker of surprise from Minnee, but she wasn't sure what was so surprising about it.
"Now," he continued. "What can you smell? The blossoms, the water in the air, forget it. For it is gone…"
She could feel all of the group spreading out in the force's energy like bugs hiding in the grass.
It was weird. Luke and Daddy force presences bounced around and burst with energy so bright it hurt to look at them in the force sometimes. But everyone here was like Ahsoka, soothing and smooth and keeping to themselves. It was weird, but it was nice, too.
Minnee's and Entra's presence reached out, touching each one of the younglings. As they passed, each person's presence disappeared even further, until they were so mixed with the force Leia could hardly sense them at all.
Gently, with fingers that felt like a drop of a cool water on the back of her neck, Leia felt Minnee touch her own mind. He was kinda hesitant, just putting his hand on Leia's shoulder to let her know he was there, but not really doing or guiding her in anything.
What do you want me to do? Leia asked.
This time Minnee's surprise was even bigger. He darted away, then came back. Gently, so that Leia could push her out if she wanted, he guided Leia's presence outside the room, to feel the Jedi in the temple.
Leia frowned. These Jedi's force presence's were polite, but they weren't attune with the force the way the meditating one's were. They brushed up against the peace Leia had found in the plants, knocking her back and force. Leia's eyes fluttered, her heart pounding. Every one touched her she felt a little bit of them. One was worried about their student, another was wondering what to eat, a student rushing through a mathematical equation, someone's joy that there was Manchi juice at the Cafeteria today.
She cringed back, away from the force. But Minnee pulled her slowly back, this time protecting Leia, covering her in her presence. Then, as each person touched Leia's presence, he moved with them, bringing Leia's presence with her. Flowing through their feelings, troubles, and joy without being affected by them at all.
He helped Leia for a good long while, and then offered to let Leia try it by herself.
Leia thought about it, but her mind was tired, and her connection to the force was all trembly and weak.
Minnee relented, guiding Leia back to where they were. Even the grass seemed busy now, worrying about water, busily drawing nutrients from the earth. Then he released Leia, and darted back to his own body.
"We are in our centers." He began to murmur. "We feel the peace of the force, but now we step away. Twitch your nose."
Leia pulled away from the force. She twitched her nose, then squeezed open one eye to watch everyone else. Hadn't they released themselves yet?
"Now, breath in the scent of the room."
All the younglings breathed in.
"Move your limbs."
They're arms, fingers and fins all twitched, pulling away from the center of their laps.
"Feel the grass, the earth beneath us."
They obeyed.
They went through all three of the other senses, sight last, before Leader Minnee smiled and said, "and now, we are away from the force, and in the world of physical things."
All the padawans started moving again. Some stretched, some started chatting, the girl with curly hair flopped on her back and grinned up at the sun.
"Leia. Would you come, please?" Minnee asked.
Leia stood, and walked to the still sitting Jedi.
Minnee's green loth cat eyes stared at Leia. "Who taught you to meditate?" He asked.
"No one." Leia said, then corrected herself. "Well, Ahsoka showed me how to do it, at first. I didn't know you had to be still. But after that, I did it myself."
"I see." The jedi nodded. "You have a very strong connection to the force. You have inherited your father's strength. Or perhaps the force wished to give it to you of its own regard."
"I'm not that good." Leia blurted. "Not really. Luke doesn't even have to meditate. And Daddy can makes things float and fly around without even trying. I have to try hard."
"I see." Minnee frowned. "Regardless, with training, I have no doubt you will have a great mastery and understanding of the force."
"But I didn't even try to feel the people myself. I got too tired." Leia protested. "I'm just good at reading and writing and math and history. School stuff. The force is what Luke is good at. And fixing things. And flying."
"Luke… is he your brother?"
"Oh." Leia squirmed. "Sorry. Yes."
Minnee smiled, and reached out to grasp Leia's hand. He squeezed it. "'Comparison is the thief of joy.'" He said. "Your brother's natural connection to the force does not diminish your own talent in developing your own connection to it. In time, I will not be surprised if you find there are advantages to your way of doing things. Just as there are advantages to Luke's." He drew his hand away. "I hope you will return often." He said, "I take the clan here twice a week, on Centax days and Zhell days at this time, I will be happy to assist you further should you come."
Leia looked at the rest of the younglings. They were crowded around Entra. He'd taken the insulation off the huge box, revealing stacks of little boxes, and was handing out one to each of the younglings.
"Are you hungry?" Minnee asked.
Suddenly Leia felt as hungry as a Shaak in a desert. "I'm…" One of the younglings took the lid off the box, revealing noodles mixed with meat in one have, and meat in the other. Her mouth watered. "I'm fasting." Leia said, hunching down.
"Fasting." Minnee purred in thought. "Why would someone your age be fasting?"
"To remind me not to hate Marshall." Leia squeezed her eyes shut in shame. "Cause I can't judge anybody."
"And do you hate him?"
Leia paused, thinking of his face, of his screaming while Luke bit his ear. He had been scared, and in pain. And then he was going home, to his parents who would teach him to hate non-humans, and unless he learned otherwise, he would spend the rest of his life like that. Not knowing how silly and stupid it was to hate someone for their species, and how wonderful it was to live in a galaxy where it didn't matter.
"No." She whispered.
"Then there is no need to fast anymore. But Leia-"
Leia looked up at her. His green eyes were wide, and his face very serious. Even his ears were still.
"Fasting is for those fully grown." He said sternly. "Not for younglings, whose bodies need food to grow properly. Do you understand?"
Leia nodded.
"Then go eat."
Relief rushed over Leia. Fasting had been a stupid idea, and she knew it. But it was nice to have a grown up tell her that. Even if they said it nicely.
Entra handed her a box, and she walked around until she found Nura and sat next to her.
They talked about their schoolwork for a while. They were learning about the same level, Leia figured. But their projects were way more interesting. Nura was experimenting in a computer program where you could build your own solar system to learn how gravitational pulls and numbers of plants and suns affected a world's climate. She was writing it all down in a report, and when she was done she was going to work with Master Wafe, who was an expert in solar systems, and compare her work to his.
Tan Ganjee was studying about politics, and he was going to go with a whole group of padawans tomorrow and watch them go through a session and take notes.
The girls with curly hair's name was Kalah, and she was learning the basics of engineering, and was designing a little aquarium for her room for fish.
"That's way cooler than anything I get to do in school." Leia said. "We used to have field days on Naboo, where we would learn about the plants, and once we visited the Gungan palace, but nothing like that. Mommy doesn't even let me come with her to the senate."
Everyone had looked sorrowfully at her, and shrugged. "Maybe you could stay here." Tan Ganjee offered. "We have an empty room in our creche."
"She's too old." Kalah said anxiously. "They won't let her."
"They might." Tan Ganjee said. "They've been talking about letting older people in. Maybe Leia could be the first."
Leia looked down at her square bowl and pushed around the noodles. It was really good, and she'd been wondering if she could have more, but suddenly she didn't want to eat at all. "Would I have to leave my family?" She asked. "Could I still see my baby sister and brother?"
They all looked at eachother.
"You don't have to." Tan Ganjee said, and he touched her in the force, just like Luke did. Warm, and sorry for worrying her.
It only made Leia feel worse. But she smiled at him anyways.
Suddenly a wall of fear and anger hit them in the force, stronger than all the plants around them. Minnee and Entra tried to protect them, putting up a wall of peace, but it tore right through. Leia dropped her box, the food spilling out on the grass. Nura started crying.
Then she felt Daddy clutch at her in the force. Are you okay? He asked. Alright? What happened? What did they do?
Nothing. Leia answered back. Her stomach churned, the feeling in the force made it worse. She almost wanted to throw up. Nothing's wrong. I'm okay. Stop it. You're scaring everyone.
He wasn't listening. Another wave came.
Minnee and Entra stood up. They snatched the lightsabers at their belts, igniting them. They were both blue, and hummed lowly. It was as ominous as the feeling.
"Wait." Leia said, desperately. "Nothing's wrong- it's just-"
Daddy sprinted around a corner, his feet pounding against the stone path. "Leia!" He shouted.
Minnee and Entra lowered their sabers. "Master Skywalker," Minnee began, "forgive me I thought-"
Daddy shoved them both aside in the force. They flew through the air, robes fluttering. Entra fell on a bush, and bounced off onto the soft grass. But Minne was shoved onto the stone path.
Everyone screamed, their fear whipping at Leia like wind on a sea. She felt horribly sick. They ran back, away from her. Leia didn't blame them. Daddy's face looked nothing like it usually did. Leia wanted to run away too. But it was Daddy- why was she so afraid of Daddy? Why was Daddy so afraid?
He grabbed Leia under her arms and hugged her tight to his chest, her feet dangling on the floor.
"Leialee." He whispered in his language. "My little sweetwater. It's okay. Everything's okay."
Everything had been just fine until he showed up. Nothing had happened at all. But Leia started crying, like a baby, and she wished he put her down. Everything had been fine. Why hadn't he just stayed away? He was the one making things bad.
"What the hell are you doing?" Ahsoka screamed.
Daddy turned around to look at her. She was standing at the edge of the clearing, both lightsabers in her hands, with Shaak Ti behind her.
"Ahsoka, it's time to go." He said, like she hadn't said anything.
Shaak Ti stepped forward. Even with Daddy, Leia could feel the calm and peace emanating from her. It flowed around her like water, rippling in the depths of the pain, but never succumbing. "Skywalker, you have my apologies. I was not aware-"
Daddy pointed a finger at her. "Stay away from my daughters!" He bellowed so loud it hurt Leia's ears. He glared around at all of them, even the younglings. "All of you."
Nura was still crying, she wasn't the only one, either. Even Minnee looked afraid from where she sat on the stones.
Daddy walked away, cradling Leia like she was as old as Shmi. "Come, Ahsoka." He said.
"No."
Daddy froze, his presence rumbled like a great big beast. Leia froze, not daring to move. She wished, more than anything, that she could run far, far away. Or at least to the rest of the padawans.
But Ahsoka held her ground. "I'm twenty three kriffing years old. I can do whatever the kriff I want. And if I want to stay here, I'm going to. And I'm going to, because someone's got to help clean up this place after your mess."
"I'm keeping you safe. The Jedi are corrupt, liars, and power hungry. I will not allow-"
"Well at least they try to help people." Ahsoka screamed, hate rolling off of her, Leia wished suddenly she'd go away too. "The most useful you do all day is change a diaper!"
Pain from Daddy burst through the force. Leia flinched, her hands clutching her stomach. She wished she could scratch into it and pull her core out.
Ahsoka froze, and her eyes went wide. "Oh shavit." She said. "I'm sorry Master. I didn't mean it- I didn't-"
But Daddy was already running away. He ran past the beautiful paintings, the mosaics, the statues. They burst out into the front of the temple, where the air was dirty and filled with pollution and where the force was full to the brim with people.
Put me down put me down leave me alone why are you so mad everything was fine why are you so mad, Daddy? Why are you so scary leave me alone go away and never come back but he's Daddy he's hurt you should help him why doesn't he go away why is he hurt. Leia thought, but she didn't say it. In either the force or out loud. That would only make things worse.
I want Mommy. She thought. And she realized she wished so, so desperately for it to be true. It had been so long since she'd been able to spend time with Mommy. She wished she was here. She never got angry.
Daddy got into their ship, slamming the door behind him. He set Leia on his lap, stroking her head, whispering comforting things in his language, in basic, in Mommy's language. The things he'd say when things were bad. But he'd been the one to make things bad.
Stop touching me. Go away. Leave me alone.
She wished she was bigger, that she was strong, like Ahsoka, to make him leave her behind. She wished he'd let her sit in the passenger seat, at least.
He started crying. And then he hugged Leia so tight she could barely breath and rocked her back and forth, crying and crying and crying. His presence was awful, churching with fear and anger and something else so awful she didn't know a name for it. She couldn't escape it, not with him holding her so tight, rocking and crying.
She tried to find her center, to go into meditation, so she could maybe try to flow with the feelings, instead of them hitting at her like rocks. But the memory of Minnee helping her was gone, and all she could think was bad bad bad bad bad bad.
But it hadn't been bad. It had been really cool and wonderful, the garden and playing and the food, and Minnee had told Leia she was talented but all she could think of was bad bad bad bad bad bad.
She wasn't even sure what was supposed to be bad. The memory or Daddy or Leia. It was just all bad. And broken. And awful and she never wanted to think about it again.
She started crying again. Daddy kissed the top of her head. It took all of her strength to not flinch away.
"It's going to be okay." He said. "You did nothing wrong, sweetwater. It's okay."
But it was okay, before he'd been there. Everything had been fine. He was the one that wasn't. This was his fault. He was the only one that wasn't fine. He was the bad one.
She wished Mommy was there. Or Luke, at the very least. Then she wouldn't be trapped alone with Daddy.
I'm a little nervous about posting this chapter. So, upfront. I do NOT want ANY comments about how "OoooOooH aNaKIn Is the WoRst dAd EvERRRR" or "AnAKin's DUMB". None of this is dumb. This is a trauma response. Does that make it right? No, absolutely not. But does that make him the worst person ever? Absolutely not. He's going to have to do some apologizing, but that's coming later.
Also, no "ANAKIN WOULD NEVER DO THIS YOU SUCKY WRITER HA HA DUMB" This is my fic. You don't like, don't read it.