A/N - so sorry for the month-long wait on this chapter, those of you who are still reading. i actually had this chapter ready a while ago but when i went to copy it, i accidentally deleted it /. i cried LOL.
so obviously i had to write the chapter again, and this is nowhere near as good as the original, but that's what i get for having fat fingers.
i hope u all enjoy it anyway. thanks for sticking with me :)
"Because I love you, Teresa."
His words play on repeat in her head as Theo burrows his face further into her neck. Her heart feels like it's going to bulldoze its way out of her chest.
"You don't have to say it back," he hurries to say, reading the shock that's written all over her face. "I just needed to tell you."
The terrible thing is, she wants to say it back. But that would open a box she desperately needs to keep shut. She can't love him, not until she knows he's in it for the long haul. She can't go through the pain of losing someone she loves again. She especially can't go into another relationship and find out the man she loves is someone else entirely, a wolf hidden in sheep's clothing.
She'd been naive the first time, but she's on high alert now.
She wants to trust Patrick with everything in her, but the state of not knowing keeps her wheedling back. She doesn't know what his intentions are, if he's going to stay, if he's going to hurt them. She knows not every man is the same, but Evan completely ruined her, and trusting someone new is as possible as a sky full of flying cars.
Instead of echoing his words, she carefully stands and holds a sleeping Theo close to her. "I'm going to put him to bed. Hopefully when he wakes up he won't be too freaked out about everything that's happened."
He nods, but then says, "we have to talk about this. You know that, right?"
She inwardly cringes but acts unbothered. "What's there to talk about?"
He stares at her. "Everything."
By the serious look on his face she can tell there's no getting out of it, so she simply nods and carries Theo to his bedroom to tuck him into bed. When she enters the room again she sees that he hasn't moved, looking to be staring off into space.
He snaps out of it once she sits down. "Hi."
"Hi," she replies, bemused. "You said there's something we need to talk about?"
He doesn't wait to dive into it. "Teresa, Evan's dangerous. You and I both know it. Which is why we need to do something about him as soon as possible."
"If you're suggesting calling the cops, I've already tried." She fiddles with her fingers to keep herself sane. "Because there was no proof, the case was brushed off. He didn't even get taken in for questioning."
"You work with the police," he reminds her desperately. "Surely they'll believe you over him."
"It doesn't matter who believes who," she says. "What matters is the proof, and I have none of that. And the abuse happened a year ago, so there's not much they can do now."
"You can charge him for harassment," he suggests. "Get a restraining order."
"That's not going to stop him," she argues. "When Evan wants something, he'll do anything he can to get it. He can be a powerful man when he wants to be."
"So you're just going to let him get his way? Can't you see that's what he wants? He wants to manipulate and control you so he can prove to the world that he's this perfect guy, when in reality he hits you and screams at you as if it's his right." The thought of Evan pushing her around like a dog sends a stripe of rage through him. He regrets not punching the bastard when he had the chance.
"You think that's what I want?" She looks at him like he's crazy, green eyes wide with disbelief. "For him to treat me like garbage? No, it's not what I want, but what other choice do I have? If I don't give him what he wants who knows what he'll do. He might go after you or even Theo and I can't risk that, okay? I can't."
"Well I can't risk him taking you away from me either," he says, his voice tight with vehemence. "You are crazy if you think I'm just going to let him take you and Theo. I'll do everything I can to prevent that from happening."
"This isn't your problem," she insists flippantly.
"It is when it comes to you," he replies sincerely. "Nothing else matters to me but you and Theo. And I will do whatever it takes to keep you both safe."
He means it, too. He'll kill the man if he has to.
"This wasn't supposed to happen," she says softly, her eyes dropping to her lap. "He wasn't supposed to come back. Why the hell is he back?"
"To scare you," he answers. "To make you think you have nobody else but him. But you know that's not true. You have me, you have Theo, you have your friends, your job. Evan has no idea what he's doing."
"My friends," she gasps, her hand flying to her hair, fingers raking through the locks stressfully. "I haven't talked to them in weeks. I've got to let them know what's going on."
"They know about Evan?" He doesn't know why he asks. The answer is pretty clear.
"Yeah," she says breathlessly. "I've told them basically everything, except for this. But I don't want them to worry."
"They're going to worry, Teresa," he says, reaching out to touch her back.
"I know." She sighs, letting her head fall into her hands. The urge to take her in his arms and hold her close is strong, but he decides now isn't the best time and opts for rubbing her back instead.
"Do you want me to make you some coffee?" He asks.
She lifts her head. "How'd you know I like coffee?"
He taps his temple. "I can read people, remember?"
Her face breaks into a smile. It's a weak one, but it's still a smile, and he feels at ease for a moment. "Of course, how could I forget."
"So, coffee?"
"Yes please."
He gets up to make her a cup, his mind on overdrive. As much as he tries to understand her, he just can't. She has every right to be terrified of the man and what he's capable of, but she should at least try to keep him away, if not for herself then for Theo. It's clear that she has no regard for her own safety, only Theo's.
And his.
He swallows thickly, filling a mug with freshly brewed coffee. He carries it into the living room and hands it to her, to which she accepts with a grateful albeit small smile.
As he sits down again, his chest constricts. He watches her sip on her coffee for a few seconds, twiddling his thumbs while lost in deep thought. There is so much bottled up inside of him that he feels he's going to overflow at any given moment.
He can't hold it in any longer. He doesn't want to. It's about time she knows the truth.
He clears his throat and rubs his sweaty palms against his pants, feeling perspiration beginning to build on his forehead. He rarely gets nervous, but he's about to spill his entire life and just the thought makes him feel a little ill.
"Teresa," he starts, gathering the courage to look her in the eyes, "There are...things I haven't told you yet, about me. With everything going on I no longer want to keep secrets. I want to tell you everything, if you'll listen."
She blinks, surprised. "Alright. I'm listening."
He inhales a breath, then breathes in back out. He has no idea how he's supposed to go about this so he just blurts the words out. "I had a wife and daughter once. Five years ago."
Another blink.
"I know I should've given you that information sooner," he sighs. "I just didn't know how to tell you. It's something I prefer not to talk about, but that's not an excuse. You deserve to know."
She's silent for a few seconds, though to him it feels like years. For the first time since their relationship started he can't make out what she's feeling.
Finally, she speaks. Her voice is abnormally soft. "What happened to them?"
The memory crashes into him at full-force and he winces, as if he's experiencing it all over again. "They died in a car accident. I was the one driving."
As expected, she gasps.
"A car rammed into us, but I should've been paying more attention. My daughter, Charlotte, had been so excited about this doll she was about to get and she couldn't stop showing me pictures, so I glanced back to look at one and that's when it happened." He stares at the floor beneath his feet, emotions bubbling up inside of him, threatening to spill over. And he might've let himself drown in his pain had it not been for Teresa sitting right beside him, watching him with condoling eyes.
"They died on impact, my wife and Charlotte," he says, a lump forming in his throat. He swallows it back. "I made it out with a few bruises and scratches and they lost their lives. Charlotte was only seven. Seven."
He's hanging onto his control by a thread now, only moments away from falling apart. Thinking about Angela is one thing, but Charlotte...he can never not cry when remembering her lifeless eyes and limp body, small and frail and bleeding.
No one should have to die so young. It's unfair. His daughter was the sweetest, most loving girl alive, so why the hell would the universe take her and spare him?
God knows he doesn't deserve it.
"I'm so sorry," Teresa's warm voice caresses his ears and he's ripped out of his thoughts, tasting the bile that's risen in his throat.
"Not your fault," he mutters, raking a hand through his curls. "It was five years ago. I'm not fully over it, but I'm getting there. Slowly but steadily."
"I hope you don't blame yourself for their deaths," she says, placing her hand comfortingly over his. "Because it's not your fault. None of it."
"I think otherwise."
She frowns. "Patrick, this is not your fault. The fault lays at the feet of the man who crashed into you. He's to blame. You did nothing wrong."
"I should've kept my eyes on the road— "
Suddenly her hands are braced on his shoulders and her eyes are locked on his. "Listen to me. I don't want you blaming yourself. You may feel like it's your fault because they're gone and you managed to survive, but it's not true. The driver of the other car could've paid more attention, but he ran into you. He hit you. Not the other way around. He's to blame. Do not punish yourself for something you had no control over."
He can hear the intensity lacing her words, feel the fervor of her gaze burning into his skin. It's like she truly believes what she's saying.
His mind abruptly wanders to one of the first conversations they'd had. It was about the death of her mother and the impact it had on her, the reason why she wore that cross necklace around her neck at all times. She never told him how she died, but now he's developed a pretty good idea.
"Your mother..."
"A drunk driver hit her," she supplies gravely, swallowing hard.
He nods, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright. It was years ago." She forces a weak smile but he can see she's breaking into pieces on the inside.
"You were really attached to your mother, weren't you?" It's not really a question, yet she answers anyway.
"Yeah. We'd always been close. Since I was her only daughter, she kind of favored me." This time, as she smiles, it's less forced. "My dad favored the boys. But I was fine with it because my mother was great and we would always spent time together, just the two of us. We did stuff the guys in our family would never want to do and it was perfect, like I lived in a world where only my mother and I existed." She sighs softly. "I wish it had been real."
"She sounds wonderful," he says honestly.
"She was," she nods. "She would've liked you. Well, she would've hated you at first, but she'd learn to love you like I do."
She hadn't meant to say the words but they left her lips anyway, tumbling way past the point of no return. He hears them loud and clear and after a second of being surprised, a grin splits his face in two.
"You love me?"
Her cheeks start to burn and she ducks her head to hide her face behind her curls. "That wasn't supposed to come out."
"But you do love me, right?" He sounds a little unsure and that makes her lift her head to see his face.
"Well, of course I do," she admits. "But I didn't want to say it back until— "
"Until you're sure I'm not going to leave you," he finishes for her.
"Stop reading me," she mumbles, her cheeks turning an even darker shade of pink. "But yeah, that's right."
"Teresa, I'm not going to leave you." He envelops her in his arms and pulls her body onto his lap. She curls into him, his warmth and scent surrounding her. "I know you have trust issues and I know I ran away once, but I swear to you that's not going to happen again. I know for sure that you're the only woman I will ever want. I want you and Theo— no, scratch that— I need you and Theo in my life forever. I'm in this for the long haul. I promise."
Her eyes tear up from hearing the sincerity in his voice, her fingers toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. "But what if, somehow, you change your mind and realize we're not what you really want?"
"Impossible," he replies immediately. "I know for a fact there's no one out there better for me than you two. I will always want you."
"But you're still grieving over your wife and daughter," she says, worry seeping through her words. "What if you don't even know what you want? What if you're just confused? What if— "
He silences her with a passionate kiss, and all the words she wants to say leave her head.
When they pull apart, he fixes her with a serious look. "Stop overthinking, woman. I know what I want. And while I still love my wife and daughter, they're no longer in my life. I need to move on. I can't promise you that I'm going to make it easy, but I can promise you that my heart will always belong to you."
A tear escapes her eye and rolls down her cheek. "I just don't want to get hurt again."
"You won't," he promises with every ounce of honesty in him. "I can't fathom the thought of you being in any pain."
She smiles and nestles further into him. "Okay."
"Okay," he echoes, planting a kiss atop her head. "I'm going to make sure Evan never touches you again, alright?"
"Mhm," she hums, and he can tell by her steady breathing that she's drifting off to sleep.
He kisses her head again. "I love you, Teresa. No matter what happens, I'm going to love you with every part of me."