Chapter 4: A Child or not?

John cursed and bit his lips to resist the urge to yelp as ice water shower down on his soaped body. He muttered a curse again before turning the temperature up and began washing off the soap.

He thought about Cameron's nightmare. Alright, concentrate John. Now, Cameron sleeps. She have nightmares which means I would have to take note of that and not assume she's fine all the time…I have to take care of her… John felt hesitation grew in his chest before he shook his head on the water, spraying droplets of it in all direction. I chose to bring her with me and I'll have to be ready. I don't have time to learn to adapt. Come on John, it's Cameron. You can do this. If you love her, nothing is too hard… Yup, that's one thing he learnt from Cameron.

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Cameron stood up from the bed, feeling her world flashed and turned for a moment. It took a while for her to regain her sudden posture in standing. She was trembling from head to toe from that scary nightmare. It was all so real and etched in her head. Don't people forget their nightmares after a while? Why do I still remember every second of it?

She walked to the bathroom and was met by a closed wooden door. Cameron reached out for the doorknob but she flinched as a small white light emerged in her vision, expanding till it engulfed her…

She walked along the corridor and stopped right outside the closed door. From the outside, she can hear water rushing. She raised her hand to knock.

"Wait a sec mom, I'll be right out!" John shouted, but Cameron took it as 'permission granted', the door flung open and shutting, the curtain was shoved to the side, revealing John's bare body to Cameron who stood there as if he was fully dressed, not as disturbed by being overly exposed to each other as John is.

John froze as Cameron's kept eye contact with him, eyes never wavering to a lower height on his body. She swore she saw him sigh in relieve.

"Cam! I told you to wait!" John growled as he pulled the curtains in, embarrassed.

Cameron back stepped to lean on the wardrobe behind her, frowning. She didn't know what to do. The most obvious one would be to go in to talk to John or rush into his embrace but somehow, in that scene, John would be shy and embarrassed, it would be hard for him… she realized. But it's only a flash, it means nothing…she argued but somehow, she knew that would be how John would react.

Maybe I can read the future? She thought to herself before trying to settle her trembling form. Cameron leaned on the wall by the bathroom. She imagined John beside her, closing her eyes.

Cameron sat on the floor. She listened intently to the gushing of the water in the bathroom as John bathed. Cameron waited for John to come out, not wanting to make John angry. She sat there and waited…

John sighed in contentment as he dried himself, slipping on a pair of boxers and jeans. He slung the towel over his shoulder and opened the door, stepping out. John yelped in shock as he saw Cameron sitting there. He took a while to calm down.

John realized he is being more and more paranoid these few days. Maybe because he know Cameron wouldn't be there to protect him anymore and he had to protect her or he and most importantly, she would die. John wondered if this is how Cameron felt she was protecting him, putting him before herself all the time.

He breathed deeply before squatting down beside Cameron, kneeling on one knee. Cameron's forehead rested on her hand on her knee. Her brown hair draped over her face, making it impossible to see her expression. John tentatively reached out, not wanting to scare her.

"Cameron," John whispered gently as he reached out to her. Before he could touch her, Cameron stirred and looked up timidly. Her brown eyes sighted him and before John can advance to her, she rushed into his embrace, strangling him slightly but surprisingly, either she isn't strong enough or she lessen on her grip, "Cameron, it's okay…" John cooed softly as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"John," She cried, sweaty palms on his bare back. John could feel tears rolling down his back.

"It's alright," John whispered. He let her cry into his shoulder for a while until her breathing came in short and stiff rasp did her let her go to breathe. As they parted, John felt her hand holding on to his arm, not wanting to be even an inch away from him. He realized she was trembling. John leaned in, "I'll carry you to the bed alright?"

Cameron gave him a hesitant nod. John drew away a small inch, spotting Cameron almost whimpering in protest but held her tongue when he looped in and scooped her up into his arms, surprised he could actually do it. His muscles in his arm bulged as he walked to the bed and placed Cameron down on it.

John's arms were not exactly classified as exceptionally muscular but enough to lift Cameron and that, he is satisfied with himself. It is the same with everything, he didn't care if he couldn't see the rest of the world, as long as he can see her.

When John placed her down on the bed, her grip lingered on his shoulder, pleading brown eyes looking up at him. To coax her, he leaned forward, kissing her lightly on the brow before going back up, taking her hand in his. Slowly, John let go of her hand but Cameron wouldn't let him, only after he promised he's just going around the bed to lie beside her. Being the naïve person that she is, Cameron let go and watched intently as John rounded the bed like he promised and laid down beside her.

He lifted his arm to slip it under Cameron's head as a pillow and she obliged by lifting her head by an inch, leaning in to rest on his shoulder blade.

She didn't see the frown forming on John's face. It puzzled John to see Cameron so weak, vulnerable and so scared to even be away from him by an inch. Did she have another nightmare?

"Cameron?" John whispered tentatively, stiffening.

"Hm?" was all that came back as a reply, it was light and filled with contentment. It send electricity up John's back as he classified that under flirtatious and he hadn't realized how flirty she can be. It worked like fireworks in his dark and dormant hormones.

"Did you have a nightmare? Whatever it is, you can share it with me," John shook his head lightly to shake of whatever his hormones suggested.

"…" Silence…

"Cameron?"

"I don't want to talk about it, John. I don't know how to describe it. It made me scared, hesitant and made me consider everything over and over and over again, I-" Her tone became more rushed and anxious. John could practically hear her on the verge of tears.

"Shhhh," He hushed her softly, stroking her head gently, feeling her soft hair underneath his hand, "It's alright. We won't talk about it again but you can always look for comfort in me if you need it," John gave this last offer and this conversation ended with Cameron nodding.

They laid there until Cameron settled down and think it was safe for letting some personal space between them. She left her place on his shoulder blade and propped herself up on her elbow. John smiled at her as they made eye contact and she in return gave John a killer smile which made him dizzy.

"Alright, we better have our lunch and check-out," John said, sitting up slowly, "We'll have to find a house to live in before sunset today and buy it," He smiled at his now-life-and-death-partner. His life is not his anymore and Cameron's life is not her own anymore. In a type of way, they lives are interwined and they both know one would never be able to live without the other.

"Okay," Cameron replied sweetly, leaning in, to John's astonishment, pecking him on the cheek before slipping off the sheets. He froze in shock, engulfed by a wave of unexpected return of his love for her. John blinked as Cameron picked up her clothes and disappeared into the bathroom to change.

He stood up from the bed, grinning foolishly to himself as a dark blue shirt was pulled over his head, by whose hands he didn't feel it nor care. Everything was numbed except that burning sensation on his cheek, threatening to tear his skin apart.

Maybe she's still my –cancel the Riley- Cameron? John thought hopefully, feeling his heart soaring as he smoothed his shirt and pulled on a jacket. He walked to the bags, still having that foolish grin on, pulling out a jacket for Cameron as well and holding it.

((((((((())))))))

She had no idea why she did that.

Yep, that's a start.

Cameron pulled off her pants and put on a long tight jeans which was up within a few graceful wriggling and she buckled her belt. She clammed her lips together, remembering the feel of his cheek and she began to let her thoughts run wild as she pulled on a long green spaghetti strip.

But the feeling when she laid her head on his shoulder blade was unmistakable. It was so intense. There wasn't a doubt…

It was so intense…

Cameron let out an involuntary gasp as the bathroom disappeared into a flash of white light.

The air was so smooth and the outside world was peaceful but she is only seeing it through a window. She can feel a pair of arms –maybe not exceptionally strong but enough for her- around her waist.

"You remember this morning?" His soothing and smooth voice filled her ears, did Cameron realized how close he was to her.

"The time in the bedroom?" She inquired.

"Yeah, that time we spent together," John said "I felt love, Cameron. It was so intense. I love you; I just knew it then and there, no complications, no pain,"

John tilted his head a little, resting his lips on the crook of Cameron's neck.

The window and the beautiful outside world faded away like a pool of disturbed calm water. Cameron is breathing so hard again. She took a deep breath, taking in her bathroom surrounding.

Maybe it's not so scary after all? Cameron comforted herself, John's right outside and he'll be there for me.

With that thought lingering in her mind, she quickly adjusted her clothing and walked out. As she expected, John was standing there, all dressed and ready, holding her jacket. He held it out playfully. She took it appreciatively, putting it on to find it exceptionally familiar but shook that off and smiled at John.

He returned it before packing all their clothes in their respective bags before leaving the room. John realized that as they leave the room, Cameron never even glanced back once, leaving it without hesitation. However, John didn't let it bother him as she's like a young child, only glancing back when she felt it was home and it wasn't easy to make a child feel like that but John was determined he could.

"Cameron, do you want to wait in the jeep while I return the keys or join me?" John asked, always wanting to give Cameron a choice and not always deciding things for her. John realized he had a lot of things to do to change Cameron's mindset.

Cameron thought about it seriously as they walked down the corridor and entered the lift before she looked up at him and said, "I want to go along with you," She decided. John nodded, thinking, that way it's better and safer for her.

John couldn't think of anything to talk about and Cameron was still a little shy about being around someone she didn't know as long as she did, according to him. It was practically impossible for John to think about the bitter awkwardness of the entire situation.

"Good morning," the lady behind the counter greeted with a much realistic smile than the man before.

"Good morning," John returned a crook of a smile before continuing, "I'll like to check out, please,' He said in a pleasant and warm tone, putting the key on the counter. The lady gave him a nod and a smile before taking the keys and keeping it, turning back around with a board in her hand, placing it on the counter along with a pen.

"If you could sign here please?" The lady smiled, gesturing to the line at the bottom of the page. The top was filled with his room number, amount of nights and days, price, number of occupants, their fake names.

John bit his lips, aware of the woman's eyes on him and Cameron's peering over his shoulder. He lifted the pen and signed his fake first name on the line. He was glad he changed is first name as well as last though it is not necessary but John couldn't help it at the thought of the 'sercurity risk' that will be given and that made John tremble at the thought of others calling Cameron and himself as their first name.

"Thanks," John put the pen down, stepping back a little after putting a diamond on the counter and muttering 'keep the change'.

"Thank you and I hope you enjoy your stay here," She smiled, keeping the board. John nodded with a fake smile, picking up the bags and walking to the exit. When he reached the exit, he realized Cameron wasn't anywhere near him! John panicked. He held the bags tightly, running to the lobby and anywhere possible.

"Have you seen the girl with me just a moment ago?" He asked the lady behind the counter anxiously, perspiration practically dripping down his chin.

"I think she went there," She pointed to the small resting corner with all the couches. John nodded, muttering thanks before speeding off. Ignoring the bags which brought his speed down sharply.

"Cameron?!" John whispered anxiously, walking closer and closer to the spot the woman pointed. He literally sigh in relief and felt himself begin to breathe again as he saw the back of his Cameron, looking curiously at the poster which advertised the motel's wireless connection. He saw her cock her head at the poster.

John dropped the bags, dashed forward and embraced Cameron from behind. He felt her jump in his arms and stifled a scream but relaxed after realizing it's her 'friend'. She rested and relaxed in John's arms as he relaxed himself. John let go of her, spinning her around by the shoulder quickly.

"Don't run around like that!" John exclaimed, tone harsher than he wanted, shaking her. Cameron was visibly shaken by his sudden outrage. She pinched her lips together, tears gathering in her eyes as her lower lips trembled in fear.

John softened instantly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, opening them to see the first tears flowing downwards, "It's alright," He pulled her into his embrace.

"John…" She muttered hesitantly, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Just don't run away from me ever again. I'm so afraid I can't find you," John said softly. He pulled her away from, wiping her tears with his thumbs and smiled at her. Cameron returned a shy smile, "Alright, come on, we got to go," He smiled, grabbing her hand. She smiled brightly at him, picking up a bag and John took the others with his other hand. They walked hand in hand to the jeep.

Now she's really like a kid… John thought, shoulder drooping as reality crashed down on him once again. He didn't notice Cameron observing him and walking close to him, upset about upsetting him, not bounding happily beside him like a kid…he didn't think she'd understands.

But she understands more than he thinks…

To be continued…