"Romance," Aphrodite declared, examining one fingernail, "is pivotal to any plot. Without a romantic interest, what does you character have?"

"To start," Artemis said, "Personality. We know that they're self reliant and don't need to depend on someone else to save them from evil vampires."

Aphrodite gave her a withering look. "You're trapped in the body of a twelve year old. What do you know?"

"Everything."

The love goddess turned back to Zoe. "Pay no attention to the annoying teenager. As I was saying, without romance, the plot is severely lacking."

"And interesting," Theia pointed out.

Aphrodite scowled. "I do not remember asking for your opinion."

"No one ever asks for my opinion. I give it anyway."

"Be quiet, you annoying fanfiction writer."

Theia opened her mouth, probably go give a long and detailed insult, but Sheva cut her off.

"Romance can sometimes be pulled off, as long as it isn't—"

"Percabeth," Storm and Zoe said at the same time. They looked at each other for a moment, and Storm started talking.

"I mean, you can do percabeth. Sometimes. But it has to be different then the others. When you see a summary saying "PERCABETH PERCABETH PERCABETH" then you can be pretty sure that it's going to look something like this:

"Percy I love you," said Annabeth.

"I love you too," said Percy. They kissed, and Athena freaked out.

"Mom, I love Percy, and I want you to accept that," Annabeth said.

"Or some other horrible variation. But it all comes down to the same thing." Storm paused, studying a lily-like flower. "It's just annoying. It can be a subplot, maybe. But it has to be balanced."

"I hate Percabeth." Theia looked murderous.

"They're cute!" Aphrodite finally looked at her, but her expression was not pleasant. "They make a great couple. And the writers deserve to honor that."

"It's cliché!"

"So?"

"So it's—It's—" Theia was clearly trying to think of the proper phrasing for what was going through her mind. "It's annoying and mind numbing and it's usually badly written."

"Sometimes it's good," Sheva pointed out. "There was this one I read once where Annabeth reads one of those lame articles in a magazine, and it was really IC and hilarious."

"Well, yes. Badly written fluff gives me a bad name." Aphrodite acknowledged. "But—"

"You already had a bad name," Theia mumbled.

Aphrodite turned on her. "Be quiet, you, or I'll—"

"Aphrodite, Theia, please!" Artemis looked about as intimidating as a twelve year old could look. "As I was saying earlier, romance is greatly overused. There are times when it can make a good story, and certainly there is a whole industry devoted to publishing books centered around romance. But If all you're going to have is Percy and Annabeth kissing on the beach… well, let's just say that for a romance to be good there needs to be character development, complications, and whathaveyou."

"Do my ears deceive me?" Aphrodite gasped. "Did Artemis say she liked romance novels?"

"I said nothing of the sort."

"I think you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"OH MY GOD!" Storm bellowed, jumping to her feet. "ARE WE GODS OR ARE WE THREE YEAR OLDS?"

"We're gods," Artemis said. "You're three."

"I'm fourteen."

The goddess shrugged. "Same thing."

Looking somewhat annoyed, Storm sat back down.

"As we were saying," Aphrodite continued with a very large, very fake smile on her face, "Romance is extremely great in stories—"

"If, and only if, it's well done." Artemis said calmly. "Ish."

"See? Even Artemis admits it!"

Looking fully POed now, Artemis clenched a fist. "I said that it can be well done. I did not say I liked to read it."

"Surrre you didn't."

A wolf appeared at Artemis's side. "Do you really want to mess with me? I'll take all your makeup and burn it!"

"I'll help!" Theia raised her hand.

"Be quiet, you!" Aphrodite snapped, and went for Theia's throat. If it wasn't for Zoe's arrow, she would have taken the writer out right then. As it was, Theia had a moment to withdraw a flamethrower and a very long, dangerous looking sword from her backpack.

"Do you really want to mess with me?" She asked in an evil voice.

"Um, Theia?" Storm stood up again. "Hello? She's a goddess. You might want to cal—LOOK OUT!"

Theia dropped to the ground as a golden arrow flew over her head and plunged into the tree next to them. There was a child's laugh, and Eros popped out on a tree next to them, strumming on his bow.

Storm withdrew her own, and she and Zoe both took aim. Sheva raised her scythe. Theia turned on her flamethrower. Artemis blew a whistle, and a large herd of wolves melted out of the bushes and surrounded the goddess, who already had her hunting knives out.

"I'm feeling ganged up on," Eros said in a small voice.

"Bullies!" Aphrodite accused. "Ganging up on people smaller and more defenseless then you. Just you wait…"

"For what?" Theia asked.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Aphrodite roared. "JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU REACH COLLEGE, KID! I'LL MAKE YOUR LOVE LIFE MISERABLE!"

Theia held one finger dangerously close to the flamethrower button. "Don't threaten us."

Another golden arrow flew out of nowhere. In trying to avoid it, Storm sprang backwards and crashed into Zoe. They both hit the ground with a thud, and the arrow landed within two inches of Zoe's head.

"Ew. No offence, Storm, I like you and everything, but I don't want to fall in love with you."

"None taken." Storm sent an arrow at Eros's tree, but Artemis's wolves had already attacked, leaping at the branches.

The scene dissolved into utter chaos after that. Theia managed to get Aphrodite into a headlock. A stray arrow hit a tree nymph who then followed Sheva around for the rest of the day. Storm and Zoe nearly ran out of arrows as the tried to hit the goddess of love or her obnoxious son. And Sheva managed to cut down Eros's tree with her scythe, and Artemis's wolves pinned him to the ground until he swore not to shoot his love arrows at any of the Veritas.

"Storm… can you give me… a hand…?" Theia's muscles were bungling from strain as she tried to hold the goddess in place. Storm ran over, loading another arrow, which she pointed in Aphrodite's face.

"If you don't stop attacking Theia then I'll mess up your makeup," she threatened.

"She's the one attacking me!" The goddess protested.

There was a brief pause, and then Aphrodite started glowing. "I suggest you let go now."

Theia sprang backwards as if burned, covering her eyes. The love goddess vanished in a flash of light.

"Well, darn it. I though we had her." Theia frowned, flicking some dirt off the hobo jacket.

"Don't worry about it. She lost. We won. Now let's go help Artemis deal with Eros."

Excerpt from Storm's notes:

Romance can be done well. However, it must be original. You can't have it a story that centers only around the relationship between Annabeth and Percy and then have it follow their happy life together.

KEEP THEM IN CHARACTER. Really. Can anyone see Annabeth acting all love-y dove-y?

It can be done as a subplot, but you must keep them in character.

It's got to be well written. No one says those long corny lines. They just… don't.

**Note from Artemis**

Please, can you guys stop getting me pregnant? I'm not suddenly going to sleep with a handsome dude that stumbles across my path. I'd turn them into a jackalope. If you've gotta do it at least think of a reason. (Put away the bow, Eros. Don't even think about it.)

---

Announcing FANMORTALS (dot) WEBS (dot) COM

This website was created by me and some other Veritas. On it you can nominate and vote for your favorite PJO fanfictions in various categories. It also contains links to writing guides and such. Nomination period ends in 16 days, so check it out. fanmortals(dot)webs(dot)com.

---

And now, for your review replies. *blows trumpet*

You Know Who—that's too bad.

Shrrgnien—nice glad it made you laugh though.

Jessy—why did you change your penname? The new one is a pain in the butt to type.

TabbyPrincess—I don't think Sheva has checked this story in awhile. Well, there is the Verita award. But I'd feel kind of stupid winning it since I run the website. Lol.

Kal—here you go, and thanks for joining fanmortal

Hazel—You're welcome

Holly Marie Fowell—I don't know. There isn't a lot to say on that I don't think because it's really the author's choice. One paragraph chapter usually get pretty negative reviews but no one reads all of 5,000 word chaps either….

Starlinc—It's by Zoe Nightshade

Singerinthesilence—True. But she's Aphrodite, who isn't known for her battle prowess.