A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and such. They make me happy inside my heart.
I am taking some liberties with exact occurrences, but it's fanfiction and I felt like ME2 skimmed over a lot of chances for character development. You get three or four special coversations and there are radical viewpoint changes between some that make me go "wait, what?"
Ex: "SIDONIS MUST DIE...thank you Commander for stopping me!"
"NIKET MUST DIE...thank you Commander for stopping me!"
"I don't feel anything about krogans...OH BTW I HATE TURIANS NOW!"
...Sometimes the transitions feel a little rushed. (Of course, so do some of mine. *headdesk*)
I do like Thane a lot. This just isn't his story. Have a Thane story I want to write, but yeah...
This had started before Omega. Before her death. Even before Ilos. And it had all started with something a krogan had said. If not for Wrex, Garrus might not be in this situation. Whether he felt gratitude or hate, Garrus held Wrex and his own twisted mind accountable.
"It's a waste," Wrex told him one day while they were cleaning their guns after a particularly bloody merc battle.
Garrus inclined his head back warily, unsure what exactly the krogan was referring to.
"Shepard," he clarified. "It's a waste."
"We're on a mission to stop Saren…I don't see-"
"Obviously not, turian. You've got about as long as she does. But to me, it's a waste. Shepard would have made a great krogan. Probably could have rebuilt our people into more than glorified thugs. She thinks. She plans. But she'll get the job done better than anyone else." Wrex's tone remained gruff, belying the wealth of compliments that just spilled forth.
Garrus tried to picture Shepard as a krogan but failed. Too alien. So he tried to picture her as a turian. He almost could, the image he conjured was hazy. She would still be slender, but not so soft. She would be just as fierce and just as quick. If Shepard was a turian… he felt his face heat up just a little.
"If Shepard was a krogan, she'd have to be male. If she were female many a battlemaster would fall to gain rights to mate with her," Wrex mused with a crooked grin. "It's a waste, turian. A damn waste."
Quietly, Garrus wondered if he could follow a krogan Shepard or even if the krogans were able to produce someone like Shepard. Unlikely. She wouldn't make a good turian either – too righteous and pragmatic to follow a bad order. This time, he really tried to imagine her eyes a different size and shape, mandibles and a carapace instead of lips and soft skin, head fringe instead of that hair that humans had. It was too hard. Shepard was just Shepard. He couldn't imagine her any other way.
And then one day she was gone, and there was no Shepard. There was no crew. There was no justice. There was just Archangel and the fog of Omega; the perfect place to go if you wanted to disappear.
Days and nights in Omega blended into one smoky haze. He emulated her. He gathered a team, humans, turians, salarians, even a volus – and he got to work. It wasn't the Normandy and no one was Shepard, but it was something. He couldn't control the circumstances, but he could control how he reacted to them. He was going to do something. He was going to make a difference.
Sidonis understood. He was a raw young turian, brash and idealistic – the kid brother he'd never had. His men were honorable on their own. They just needed a good leader and a cause. On Omega there was no shortage of things to fix. But all that was gone too, in the blink of an eye. Everyone was dead, Sidonis had grown up wrong, and he was alone to shoulder the burden.
He slaughtered them. Blue Suns, Blood Pack, Eclipse…they all blended together for him. Every salarian was Saleon. Every turian was Sidonis. Every human was a disappointment – not Shepard. Not Alenko. Not Williams. And what killed him, what really killed him wasn't the bullets or the mechs. It was that none of this would ever matter. He'd changed a few lives, solved a few problems, but then the waves of Omega's criminal tide washed back over everything. In the end, it all meant nothing.
He hadn't fought a good fight. He'd fought a meaningless one. His aim was too low and if Shepard were here she'd be so disappointed in him. If it meant she was alive, he wouldn't care if she was a goddamned krogan.
And then in the sights of his rifle, the hallucinations came to life. And there she was, making a suicide run across his bridge, flanked by two more humans who weren't from the Normandy. It didn't matter. It was Shepard. She was here. And even if it wasn't really, he didn't care, not if he died believing she was coming for him.
The new Normandy was far more luxurious than the old one. Spacious, better-equipped, and even if the crew was Cerberus, they all treated him with a healthy amount of respect. He'd taken a missile to the face after all.
And Shepard, Shepard gravitated to him. Not that he minded. Like the others from the SR1, they shared a bond. He and Shepard moreso, because they'd gone into combat together countless times. He knew she favored her right side. He knew she often forgot to check her own six – but she'd always have his. He knew she liked him to start out every battle by overloading shields – "Shock and awwww, you're not so tough any more" she called it.
When she'd gently turned down a lovelorn Jacob, she'd told him about it, not that nosy chipper thing that followed her around. He'd been uncomfortable at first, not used to talking about that sort of thing with Shepard. But she'd needed someone to listen, and he'd been happy to hear her out. In fact, hearing that she had no interest in Jacob left him absurdly happy. It was because Jacob was Cerberus of course. And Alenko was his friend. At least before Horizon. That was it, of course. Of course.
The heat on Haestrom didn't bother him so much. But Tali… Dread churned in the pit of his stomach. The young quarian girl might have had excellent shields and a state of the art environmental suit, but he couldn't help but worry. He wasn't the only one.
Upon finding the ground littered with dead quarians, environmental suits torn open, delicate tissue already rotting in the heat, Shepard had fallen silent and they'd picked up the pace. Thane hadn't asked any questions, following Shepard's lead. In fact, the drell assassin had been coming on a lot of missions with them lately. Shepard rotated her squads, but Garrus was at her side more often than not and now so was Thane. He understood, somewhat. Out of all their new squadmates, Thane was possibly the most trustworthy and the least likely to shoot them in the back. Ironic really, since he was an assassin and all that.
Tali's terse staticky-messages urged them on. She was alive. She was in trouble. And they weren't leaving one of their own behind. Not again.
Shepard had assigned him to the injured quarian and damnit, he didn't need to babysit Tali's friends. He needed to focus on her.
"How is everything out there?" Tali's voice was distant, so close but not close enough.
"Just like old times," he muttered, crouched behind debris, trying to get a clear shot at the geth colossus.
"That bad?" she asked and Garrus laughed – that was before the colossus managed to jam her transmission.
The male quarian at his side popped his head up, a grenade in hand.
"Keep your head down, Reegar," Shepard shouted across the com. "If I can see your shiny red head from here, you bet the goddamned colossus can!" Garrus focused on his shot, trying to ignore just how close Shepard was getting to the massive synthetic.
"I'm trying to cover you, siha," Thane said across the channel, and it occurred to Garrus that he didn't even know where the drell was. "But you need to pull back, you're too close."
Shepard was down on the ground, darting around the colossus's legs, trying to keep it distracted. Fucking hell, she was fast, firing off a couple shots before diving for cover. The geth couldn't quite keep up with her, too large to turn like she did, but she couldn't keep it up forever and if it just decided to bring the ruins down on their heads…
"Shepard, get your ass back over here," Garrus snarled. "Because I'm about to bring that son of bitch down on your pretty head."
"You really think my head's pretty?" Shepard sounded breathless over the com. He couldn't tell if she was laughing or winded or both.
"Not if I have to scrape it off the underside of a geth's armor plating," Garrus shouted, his shot slamming into the giant armature's lens.
A bright pulse lit up the already unbearably bright day. Garrus's vision went black, but the air around him was silent, no familiar hum of shields. And if his shields were down from this distance…Shepard. Eyes widening to almost human proportions, he was on his feet, sniper rifle tossed aside. Switching to his assault rifle, he charged forward, visor triangulating Shepard's position.
She was down, vital signs active but sluggish. He vaulted over rubble and spare geth parts. The inside of his head rang with gunfire.
"Krios-"
"I have you covered," Thane said, not quite as calmly as he usually sounded.
Garrus grunted his gratitude. Shepard's armored form lay behind a stones, thankfully shielded from the sun's rays. In the armor, she was heavier than she looked, but having her lean on him was a familiar weight, one he welcomed.
He cradled her head, one eye on the giant armature that was trying vainly to draw a bead on Thane.
Nestled against his chest, he half-guided, half-dragged her to cover. She groaned, something he picked up from proximity, not the comm system. He was not sure what functions of her suit had shorted out, but she just seemed a little stunned.
His pulse still hadn't slowed.
"It feels like the morning after shore leave…" she said as she steadied herself against a rock.
"Great times, those. Watched you try to outdrink Wrex once." Her medigel didn't seem to be flowing fast enough and he gave her some of his.
"Yeah… I've had better ideas." Shepard grimaced as the projectiles flew overhead. Wild energy and shrapnel cut through the air around them. "You were supposed to stay with Reegar. Tali's going to be mad if we let her boyfriend die."
Garrus snorted, taking aim. He could see Kal'Reegar popping back up, tossing either grenades (or were those rocks?) at the colossus.
"Sit tight," he said.
Instead, Shepard unhooked her grenade launcher.
Thane had managed to whittle down the geth's armor pretty well, or at least keep it from regenerating too fast. Garrus felt a grudging amount of approval. He liked Thane, or more specifically, he saw no reason why he should dislike Thane. Except for how the drell looked at Shepard. Wistfulness. Longing. Like a dying man…well, fair enough.
"You worn out already, Garrus?" Shepard chuckled as she lined up her shot.
He fired, hitting the colossus in the optics – even if he didn't prance around in skintight leather, he still had spectacular sniping skills. He snuck a glance at Shepard who was squinting at the geth monstrosity.
Momentary deafness set in as Shepard hit the thing with the nuke launcher. A few well-placed sniper shots and the colossus was suddenly a very expensive piece of scrap metal. Almost immediately, Shepard was on her feet and heading straight for where Tali was meant to be.
"Garrus, tell Thane to check on Reegar."
"I heard her," Thane said over the comm, though Garrus still wasn't sure where the drell was. His scanner picked up slight movement in the area where he left the quarian, and he could see the faint outline of Thane helping the injured Kal'Reegar to his feet. "He's the same as when we found him."
Garrus conveyed the news and Shepard nodded.
"You should have stayed with him." She wobbled forward.
"And left you down here?" Garrus asked, his incredulity of the amused variety.
"I'd have been fine. One measly geth wasn't going to kill me."
"It was going to make you drinks then?" Garrus fell in stride beside her, not bothering to stick to the shadows.
Shepard didn't answer him, already bounding into the building ahead. And when they found Tali, alive and unharmed, he was so relieved to see her (Oh my, how she'd grown from a shy little quarian maiden to their very own shotgun-toting princess mad-scientist…), he forgot all about it. Everyone was alive. Shepard was all right. That's all that mattered.
It was only back on the ship that she'd picked back up on the topic. That was Shepard, never forgot an argument she needed to finish. Sometimes she let it go, but she never forgot it…
"Back there on Haestrom. Thane says you broke cover and ran out there blind like an idiot," were the first words out of her mouth when she cornered him in the main battery.
"I can't actually see Thane calling me an idiot," he mused, taken aback by her brusque manner.
"He didn't. My words," Shepard said sourly, hands on her hips as she glared up at him. "What the hell was that?"
"I don't know. What were you doing facing a gunship down armed with nothing but a heavy pistol?"
Shepard settled down on a pile of crates, her usual seat, and favored him with a withering look. "That was different."
"You're right. I had an assault rifle." He grinned at her, savoring the banter.
She didn't smile back. Her fists were balled at her side and she wasn't looking at him any more. "I can't afford to lose you, Garrus," she blurted out, suddenly. "You. Tali. Joker, even. Not now."
Not after Horizon was what she meant. Garrus paused, staring at his omni-tool, trying to think up an appropriate response. He was good with witty comebacks. Emotional confessions, not so much.
She didn't talk about Horizon or what had happened between her and Alenko. She'd spent a few days after it in seclusion and just when he'd worked up the nerve to go speak to her about it, she'd emerged cool and collected without a trace of her earlier turmoil. She was Shepard; she wasn't going to be brought down by a little heartbreak.
He'd wanted to strangle his former comrade. Did Alenko think he was the only one who loved Shepard? The only one who had been hurt by her passing? Tali and Wrex were the only ones who walked away from the Normandy unbroken. Wrex – because he was a krogan. They endured. Tali… Tali had no shortage of things to fix either. She and Wrex had found their places, their purpose helping their own people.
"I-we can't afford to lose you either, Shepard. Not again." He didn't look up, worried that his face would give him away.
He could hear her breath hitch and he slowly swung himself around to face her.
Human expressions were difficult, but Shepard he could read. His gaze lingered on her hands. She twisted them slightly, probably unaware of it. She didn't do it around her new crewmates, just the old ones; a sign there was still a person behind the epic paragon.
"Garrus…"
"We should both be more careful. You especially. Don't tell Miranda, but I snuck a peek at the budget for the Lazarus Project. I really can't afford to lose you again – not on a vigilante's salary." Garrus managed to sound nonchalant as he faced her.
She laughed roughly and leaned back, watching him with those big expressive eyes. The main battery was warm. His sniper rifle was clean. Shepard was smiling at him.
Garrus couldn't think of any place else he would rather be.
Peace of mind was a fleeting thing. Calibrating in the main battery gave him time to think – something he'd started doing on Omega. Shepard was different now. Her scars had changed, and though she still tried to do things the right way, there was a certain ruthlessness in the way she conducted herself. Touching death changed everyone, and she walked away a little tattered around the edges. They all had.
Now they were on another impossible mission and he was strangely comfortable with that. This was something worthwhile. This was where he was meant to be – not just because he was some sort of crazed adrenaline junkie. Tali and Shepard would both come visit him, sometimes to review missions and exchange veiled dialogue about certain Cerberus crewmates and policies. Sometimes they would just reminisce about the good old days. And when Tali accidentally mentioned Alenko, Shepard glided right through it, with all the poise and grace he remembered.
It was instinct and motion. The Shepard he knew would still be hurt by a comrade's rejection, especially one as intimate as Alenko. He'd spoken up, there on Horizon. He'd fought Cerberus alongside them. Hell, so had Tali and she'd had even more of a reason to hate them. The greeting she'd given Jacob still brought a smile to his stiff face.
It curved into a snarl when he found a new message from one of his contacts. Sidonis was on the Citadel.
The back of her head stayed in line with his sights. Her hair was tied back today, revealing a slender delicate neck. When Sidonis moved, she moved and he had no hope of taking out Sidonis without hurting her. What the fuck was she doing? She'd said she would help him. She of all people should have understood the need to avenge her own. She'd gone on a massacre after Virmire – giving no quarter to tankborn krogans or geth. For a brief moment, he thought about shooting her in the knee just to get her out of the way. One shot to the knee would bring her down – Cerberus could fix her back up. There wasn't much cover out here and Sidonis tended to dive to the left, so if he swung the barrel ten millimeters and…
His blood ran cold as he realized exactly what was going through his head.
"Garrus…is this really what you want to do?" Her voice floated over the comm, soft and almost pleading. He didn't hear the rest of the words. She was talking fast, and he couldn't listen any more. Not after what he'd been prepared to do.
"Just…" he wavered, and then that sick feeling built up in his gut. Shepard had taken the time to explain why she'd dealt with Saleon the way she had. Even if she killed him in the end, she was in control of her actions. She was doing things for the right reason. She was doing her best to minimize collateral damage. And here he was, thinking about blowing out his best friend's knee because she'd been in his way. How did that make him any better than Saren? "Tell him to go," Garrus managed to spit out, though his gut knotted and his heart clenched. He said a few more things, but they came out automatically, meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
The walk back to the shuttle was a tense one. Thane was at his side, too comfortable for Garrus's liking.
"You did the right thing, letting him go," Thane said in his serene manner.
Garrus tightened his fists and walked faster. "Right thing? What would an assassin know about the right thing?" He felt Thane draw back, and took vicious pleasure from making him squirm.
Shepard. The one person who cared enough to hunt for him – she might not have gone to Omega looking for him, but after watching her seek out Tali, Kaidan, Liara, and Wrex, he knew she would have come for him eventually. What the hell had he been thinking? What the hell was wrong with him?
"Garrus." Shepard stood at the shuttle a tired smile on her strangely pretty face.
He couldn't face her. Not yet. Not after what had just happened.
"Are you all right?"
"I don't want to talk about it and I have nothing to say to you." He was ashamed, and even worse, some primal part of him was still furious that she'd stood between him and Sidonis. Even if shooting her was the worst idea he'd ever had, he still wanted to lash out. The cycle of guilt fed itself as he glared past her.
"Garrus," she murmured his name so gently it made his chest ache.
"Not now, Shepard. Or I'll end up doing something we'll both regret."
He'd been avoiding everyone for a week. Shepard was still taking him out on missions, but there was heavy uncomfortable silence between them. Tali filled it with nervous tech chatter. Jacob tried to make jokes and reminded Garrus entirely too much of Kaidan. Jack took one look at them, rolled her eyes and told them something like "Fuck this, you both suck – if you need a biotic, get Samara."
He'd gritted his teeth and bore it. There was nothing he could say to Shepard right now, and she didn't seem to keen on talking to him either. She'd made herself scarce and if Chambers's scuttlebutt was to be believed, she'd been spending quite a bit of time in Life Support. He'd disappointed her. She'd infuriated him. Regarding Sidonis, he knew he should apologize. But it still felt wrong, even if he was wrong, she wrong too, right? She'd brought out the best and worst in him and even as he wanted to thank her, he wanted to strangle her for it too. And that was before the green-skinned assassin factored into the mix.
OK, so he crossed the line in his pursuit of Sidonis. Sidonis might have deserved to die, but how he acted with Shepard in his scope, blind to all else…she was right about his reaction. Sidonis still should have died. His heart rested uneasy on that one. His men deserved better than that.
Shepard deserved better than this.
But then he remembered drell – who looked exactly how a male asari would have if they had such things. He was shaped just like Shepard and he was levo-dextro, not dextro-amino. The women on the ship seemed especially taken with his giant fish-like eyes and exotic green skin. Thane looked at Shepard as much more than a commanding officer. Like back in the shuttle- he'd seen Thane trying to "comfort" her.
It made him see red.
He couldn't talk to her like this. He couldn't talk to anyone, wound tightly like an overcoiled spring. Chambers kept coming by, till he made it very clear that he didn't trust a Cerberus headshrinker any more than he did one of their other eggheads. Making her cry hadn't been as satisfying as he'd thought it would be. Sleep eluded him. The food didn't have any taste to lose. He had no peace of mind.
He probably deserved this.
All these exceptionally unprofessional feelings knotted his gut, blew his cool. Garrus was far from inexperienced. He'd been with turians and even asari, though whatever they had between them never lasted very long. Shepard was different. She was Shepard and even if she was interested… They were too different. He'd run across a few human-turian pairings, but they'd never struck him as the healthiest relationships. Too much of a cultural divide. Too much negative outside pressure. Too much of a risk.
A maelstrom of half-realized emotions simmered under his thick skin. It was all so absurd, and what he wanted, he had no other words for.
Nutrient paste and a bottle of water in hand, Garrus headed back to his room, suddenly struck by how much of a coward he was.
He didn't see Thane and the assassin could have easily moved. Instead he planted himself in Garrus's path and waited. Caught up in his thoughts, Garrus stumbled as he collided with the drell, spilling water all over the floor.
"What the hell was that for Krios?"
"You bumped into me," Thane said without inflection.
"And you could have easily avoided me, so don't expect me to buy that innocent act. What do you want?" Garrus hissed, leaning into Thane's space.
"I wanted to inform you of a decision I have made." The assassin blinked rapidly.
"Congratulations. I'll send a card." The malice welled up and Garrus stared at the drell, willing him to drop dead prematurely.
"I wanted to tell you. You and Shepard seemed close. So I didn't want to interfere. Now that you appear to want nothing to do with her, I will do my best to stand beside her." And in case he didn't get the hint, Thane continued, "Your behavior is unworthy of her concern."
Sometimes Thane's formality overcomplicated things. It took Garrus a moment to register his meaning: he was going to pursue Shepard.
And that damn bastard was rubbing his nose in it.
Tossing his meal aside – a cry from Gardner let him know exactly where it splattered - Garrus glowered at Thane. "And what makes you think you're good enough for her?"
To Thane's credit, the only indication of a taunt was the ever-present patient smile on his too-pretty face. "She can talk to me. And I trust her – I won't walk away from her just because she makes a call that I don't like."
Anger tugging at his tongue, Garrus couldn't think of a sharp enough retort. So he did the next best thing, he swung.
Thane was a blur.
Garrus could count the number of blows he managed to land on one hand. Thane was all over him, but his rapid strikes were blunted by Garrus's armor. Without weapons, it was a stalemate, logic said. But Garrus didn't want logic or weapons; he wanted the satisfaction of pounding that wannabe asari into the ground. Around him, crew members dashed elsewhere, their boots pounding against the floor.
Thane had probably killed a bunch of turians before. Garrus had never fought a drell.
Garrus picked up a chair and threw it, Thane slid to the side. His lips were pulled in a grim line, but he wasn't trying to talk. Good. That calm oh so reasonable rasp would have sent him over the edge.
He struck again, timing just right, and Thane reeled, his flimsy leather outfit doing little to protect him from the impact of Garrus's blow.
The assassin was very light on his feet. One moment he was there at the end of the turian's fist, the next he was at Garrus's side launching his own counterstrike. Garrus shifted and the side of his heavy armor absorbed the worst of it. Undeterred, the assassin drew back, his dark eyes narrowed as he looked for a flaw in Garrus's defenses.
The blue shimmer of a biotic wave struck him hard and he was suddenly airborne and crashing into the kitchen counter. In the distance, he heard someone shouting, but really, all that mattered was that he was going to settle things with Thane.
Picking himself up, he smirked at the drell. The assassin was breathing heavy now, and his expression was just as fierce. He surged forward, batting aside overturned chairs and crushing plates just so he could sink his talons into that-
And suddenly, she was there, right between them.
"Enough!" she shouted, cold fury and something like murder written all over face. He couldn't stop, but he changed his course, brushing past her and braking hard into the wall of the Normandy.
He heard Thane land in the distance. Relief and maybe a little admiration for the assassin's skill loosened his tension just a little bit. No one had landed on Shepard. Good.
"What the hell is going on here?"
Garrus didn't have an answer for himself, let alone her.
Just the two of them alone in the cargo hold –if the circumstances hadn't been what they were, it might have been funny, titillating even.
But there was nothing funny about the way she was looking at him now. It was red hot anger bridled with cold pragmatism, but stoked by personal outrage. He'd seen that look in her eye before – right before she killed someone who'd gone above and beyond to piss her off. Her eyes were narrowed and her jaw rigid. There was a tautness to her shoulders, emphasized by her lack of armor. She carried herself forward with ironclad determination. It wasn't funny; it was scary as hell and that might have been just a little bit arousing.
This wasn't the time, he reprimanded himself.
She'd put down the red mats, maybe to sop up the blood that she was going to spill. Had she forgotten turian blood was bright blue? Or maybe she wanted them another color.
A tight panic built in his chest. He'd crossed the line. He'd fucked up badly. He'd struck one of his squadmates. Worse yet, Thane hadn't really deserved it because goddamnit, he'd been right. Guilt and self-loathing twisted his innards.
She outlined her proposition. She wanted to spar. She wanted to hand him his ass on a plate and the idea of it all made him squirm inside his skin. Sparring with women had a special place in his mind, something that took the edge off cold lonely nights.
But she hadn't meant it like that. She was angry at him. This was all business and he couldn't afford to fuck it up any more. He managed a snarky reply, and mentally conceded that this was nothing more than what it looked like and maybe they both needed to beat the tension out of each other. Maybe then she'd accept his apology and they could be friends again. He wasn't going to read any more into this and his emotions weren't going to get the best of him this time. Garrus found some solace in that path.
And then she took off her shirt.
The cargo hold was naturally cool, but suddenly Garrus felt flushed. Her skin was too smooth for someone who'd fought in so many battles. A tight black piece of fabric – like something an asari dancer would wear – covered her breasts. His throat tightened as he watched her chest rise and fall. He'd developed an appreciation for asari during his time on the Citadel. Humans weren't so different and Shepard... She tied her hair back in a messy ponytail. He was aching to touch it.
But if he started touching her, he didn't know if he could stop and that would be very unwise.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked, not quite meaning the sparring.
She simply got on the floor. She jerked her shoulders up and down a few times causing her chest to heave in the most distracting way. And then she dropped to ground, her legs spread in a 180 degree angle. He gaped. Asari were flexible yes, but he'd had no idea Shepard could…
Somewhere he gained the presence of mind to take off his armor. His bodysuit was tight, leaving little to the imagination. With any luck all the protruding bones and bits would mask the other protruding bit that wasn't meant to be noticed.
He left his gloves and boots on, glancing at her soft skin and blunt nails. His visor monitored her heartrate and vitals: higher than usual pulse, elevated temperature… she was furious with him.
In the name of self-preservation, he started out, trying to grab hold of her. She dodged and he countered, pulling his punch.
"Come on, I've had nastier fights with Joker," she taunted.
It almost made him smile, because he knew there was nothing going on between her and Joker. If Shepard needed a man, it wouldn't be a breakable one. He threw a harder punch, just to let her know he wasn't like Joker.
When it impacted she stumbled backward, blood trickling from a split lip. She bared her teeth at him, grinning ferally.
"Is that all you got?"
Shepard didn't give him time to retort. She went on the offensive, throwing a vicious hook. Garrus had never seen her fight without cumbersome armor – she was even faster now, and her knuckles glanced off his chin, the thick carapace scraping her skin lightly.
He grunted at the force of the blow and staggered. She followed up with a raised knee, intent on hitting him in the gut. He kicked forward, beating her to the strike. His foot connected with her chest and she fell backward, hitting the ground and rolling knees-over-head. At first he thought he'd hurt her as she rolled so neatly, like a geth armature, across the mats. But suddenly she was on her feet again and back in her combat stance.
Her flexibility was…enticing.
He lunged again, this time intent on capturing her.
Shepard dove to the side and swept her leg across the ground, aiming for just under his ankle joints. He staggered when she hit, but regained his balance and kicked back.
She grunted as the sole of his boot hit her square in the chest. But she rolled with it, and was on her feet again in seconds. Still grinning she lunged at him, elbows striking upward under his chin. Garrus's head spun even as his mind registered the sharp crack.
A light sheen of sweat coated Shepard's exposed skin. She was pitting her speed and agility against his strength and range. He didn't know the extent of her cybernetic upgrades, but he knew from before that an Alliance N7 marine who happened to be a Spectre wasn't someone to be trifled with. Her countenance was fierce and her skills deadly.
Women like that made it so hard to focus.
He barreled into her, using his weight and momentum to overpower whatever graceful defensive move she had been in the midst of executing. She cried out as they hit the mats, his body pinning hers to the ground.
She was warm and soft and he could feel her trying to squirm free underneath him. His breathing was hard and he winced as she punched him in the chest.
"Got you, Shepard," his voice was rough.
"Do you?" she mocked and suddenly one leg wrapped around his waist. He stifled a groan as she rubbed against him. She wiggled and raised her hips, the sensation stimulating… and suddenly he was on his back, and she was straddling his waist. Hunched over him, she held her forearm against his throat, pushing the bony edge down, choking him.
He grunted, trying to gain the balance to throw her off. On his back, his collar left him with a distinct disadvantage, but it wasn't a stable platform. Rounded, it allowed him to roll slightly to side. The shift caught her off balance and he tossed her off him.
The frisson of something traveled up his spine as he watched her climb to her feet, panting slightly.
"Getting tired, Shepard?" He growled, standing.
"It takes more than a whiny turian to wear me out."
"Whiny?" Garrus narrowed his eyes. His leg shot out, striking her in the side, and she swayed, groaning.
"Yeah," she grinned, bravado not dented in the least. She was on him again. "You heard me. Whiny." Punch. "Sulky." Punch. "Juvenile." Punch. Three out of three. "Grunt and Jack have nothing on Garrus Vakarian."
"You're right. Grunt and Jack have nothing on me," Garrus mocked, tasting blood in his mouth. He whirled, dodging her next flurry. "You still should have let me kill him." He leapt toward her, arms outstretched.
Shepard rolled under him, barely evading in time.
"He might have deserved to die, but you needed to calm the fuck down," she spat, turning to face him.
"Killing him would have gotten it out of my system," he said with conviction.
"This isn't just about Sidonis. If it was, you wouldn't have gone after Thane." Shepard charged him, shoulder-first. He didn't move fast enough and she slammed into him, knocking him off balance. He latched onto her, pulling her down with him.
"What happened between Krios and me is none of your business," he said gruffly, savoring the feel of her pressed against him.
"It is when you start tearing my ship up, asshole." The palm of Shepard's hand slammed into the side of his face – the nonmetal side.
Garrus's head flew back and he snarled. He recovered, whipping it back and headbutting her straight in the forehead.
Shepard cursed, falling back on her butt. "You fucking trying to kill me, Garrus? Your head's the hardest part on you, you stubborn bastard." She gritted her blunt white teeth for him.
"Not the hardest part," he muttered, taking a moment to look at her forehead. His rough skin had scraped her face – she was bleeding.
"What?"
"You're bleeding. This is stupid. You're going to get hurt."
"Fuck you, don't change the subject. You're just worried I'm going to scratch up the floor with your scaly ass." She shoved him away from her and staggered to her feet. "You've been an unbearable asshole for the past week. You really want Sidonis that badly, we can head back and get him," she said bitterly. "But you have to tell me what crawled up your ass and died."
Garrus barked a harsh laugh. "Trust me, Commander. You don't want to know."
"No, fuck you Garrus. You don't get to tell me what I don't want to know. You want rub my rank in my face. Fine. Tell me what the hell Thane did to set you off. That's a goddamned order, Officer Vakarian." Shepard stared daggers at him.
When he didn't answer she went airborne. He watched with not a little admiration as she hit him with a flying kick, the ball of her foot striking him square in the chest. Garrus wheezed and went down, more focused on catching himself than grabbing Shepard. He lay there for a moment, pretending to be stunned.
Shepard lunged at him, but this time he was ready for her. He caught her and channeled the momentum into rolling her onto her back. This time he seated himself on her stomach and pinned her wrists down with one hand.
Her breaths became shallower as he sat there, knees pressed on either side of her.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Yeah, I bet you don't," she hissed, biting her lip. Blood trickled down her chin and Garrus's eyes widened.
"You're hurt."
"Me? Ha! You've barely touched me," Shepard sneered.
Garrus nudged one side with his knee. She didn't react. But when he touched the other, she jerked away, a slight whine escaping her throat.
Releasing her hands, he rose, carefully examining her lower right side. Her warm skin was so smooth. He was grateful for the gloves – bare skin against bare skin was too tempting.
"Shepard…"
"We're not done, Garrus." She tried to push him off of her, but he stayed in place, just enough to hold her down.
"I'll tell you what you want to know, if you'll stop this and get some medical attention…and tell me where it hurts."
She laughed harshly, her hard stare boring through his exoskeleton. "I gave you an order, Garrus. Don't make me get up and kick your ass for insubordination as well as being an idiot."
His gaze flickered off the side. The turian in him couldn't quite resist a command, and he, whatever he was these days, couldn't quite resist her. "Thane wants to pursue you." He exhaled, relenting to her demands. His fingers grazed her side and she twitched beneath him, soft and pliable.
Shepard stared up at him, confusion etched on her face. "He-what?"
"Thane has more than friendly feelings for you," Garrus said slowly, wondering if that last headbutt had done any serious damage.
"And so you punched him? Because of that?" He recognized the incredulity on her face. Her voice was higher than usual.
"No. Yes. It's complicated." Garrus rocked back on his heels, crouched over her but no longer holding her down. She was warm beneath him and he savored her proximity. She smelled so good, her own musky scent mixed with a tinge of gun oil.
Shepard propped herself up on her elbows, her eyes on his face. Her wiggly pink tongue darted out, licking those full sensuous lips. He knew what asari could do with their mouths. And Shepard was under him, almost half-naked…
Garrus swallowed roughly, his muscles taut and composure fracturing.
"It's complicated, huh?" Shepard's voice sounded breathier and he wondered if it was because of her injured side.
Instinctlustweaknessindecency-something overwhelmed his caution. He put his arms forward, steadying himself as he pressed his chest to hers. He felt her stiffen as he breathed across the graceful curve of her neck. It was complicated. He didn't have words, so he abandoned them in favor of action.
A/N: Confession: I'm not sure how I feel about Garrus in this chapter. On one hand, I obviously think he's IC, otherwise I wouldn't have written it this way. On the other hand, it's so different from the Garrus we usually see, I'm kind of worried. Garrus is a confident ass-kicking dinosaur space-cowboy, but in the game he's so...awkward about his feelings for Shepard that I can see him as hemming and hawing and worrying about everything. I like a bit of uncertainty and vulnerability before he does what he's got to do.
On that same note, I feel like some of the pieces should have been cut. I might go back and do that later. The Haestrom bit feels like it doesn't quite fit and I sort of want to trim some of the "Garrus is angsty" bits. I didn't wanted to rehash everything from Shepard's chapter and I rather liked the buildup for his feelings, but...maybe it's too slow.
The next chapter will have...adult situations. Because this one was totally kindergartner friendly.