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"Wake my son."
"Mmm five more minutes Melchie." I rolled over trying to get back to sleep but I had managed to roll right off the church pew. Stunned I looked around trying to regain my bearings only to see the old priest peering down at me.
" Come, tell me why you have taken refuge in the house of god." He looked down kindly and offered his hand. I took it trying to bide my time to come up with what to say. I slipped back down onto the pew and wrapped my arms around my knees trying to procrastinate as much as possible. What on earth was I supposed to say? How could I tell him about Father and Melchior and running away? I couldn't.
" My father.." I stuttered.
" A son should honor and respect his father as highly as he would respect me or god. A father is a giver of life and his sole purpose is to teach you the ways of the world." The priest smiled as if he had dropped glowing pearls of wisdom at my feet. My stomach clenched and I bit my tongue. I had heard enough and silently slipped away hoping he wouldn't inquire further.
I threw the wooden doors open and saw with a bit of dismay that the sky was gray and it was raining. As I took a few steps into the gloom the bell tolled the sixth hour. I yawned realizing just how early it was. It is six in the morning on a Saturday. Father won't be home until Sunday evening. I began smiling to myself disregarding the soaking the rain was giving me. I had a whole day of not worrying about my action's consequences. A full day of no punishment! The thought got me skipping along the road.
I felt brave, which was rare for me. Yesterday's anguish at fathers absence was replaced with a bold sense of daring. I began to strut down the deserted path. I was a rather good distance from town and I knew no one would see me gallivanting around in the rain. I wasn't Ernst anymore I was a noble knight whom everyone loved. I dreamed that everyone was crowding the streets and watching me go by. I waved to the invisible people and smiled.
Suddenly a great crash shattered my dream into a million silver shards and I looked around to see the sky darkening even more. Great thunderheads rolled in and bellowed as lighting began to fall haphazardly to earth. My bravery drained out from my feet as I stood rooted my knees knocking together. Thunder shook the earth as I jumped and began to run and stumble along the muddy rocky path.
Instead of silver armor I began seeing great green terrible dragons that roared thunder and spit lightning. I ran faster as I was being chased by the beasts in my mind. Lightning tumbled down and I felt my heart jolt as it struck a huge tree about a mile off. My heart hammered as I watched with a terrified awe as the bark split and buckled. If lightning could do that to a huge tree I shuddered to think what it could do to me!
I tossed my head wildly in all directions looking for a shelter. Only a few meters off a quaint little house stood protesting against the winds that howled against it. I silently thanked god and ran to the front step. I pounded frantically not caring much about who I disturbed at this early hour.
The door opened wide. I gasped as I recognized Hanschen's mother dressed impeccably in a blue flowered dress her long blond hair wrapped up in a bun.
"Oh Ernst, you poor dear!" She exclaimed over the storm. She grabbed me by the wrist and brought me inside with out ever missing a step. " What could you possibly be doing in a storm like this? In your school uniform no less!" She tutted and looked me over from head to toe.
"Caught in the storm." I mumbled. Of all the houses in the town I could have found I managed to end up half drowned and scared out of my mind at the Rilow home. I silently cursed my misfortune and scanned the room for Hanschen.
"Well that is obvious dear! Why were you out in the storm so early?" She looked at me trying to figure out if I was insane or not.
" Church." It was the best answer I could give her before a massive shiver made my entire frame shake and my teeth chatter and chomp my words to pieces.
"Oh dear! We have to get you out of those wet clothes or you will catch your death." She wrapped my shoulders in a fluffy towel and I smiled gratefully.
" Mother, this simply will not do!" I froze as I heard Hanschen's voice coming down the stairs. " Father insists on pushing me out of the bathroom. You know how sensitive my...stomach...is." Hanschen's mouth paused as he looked wide eyed at me from halfway down the stairs. I stared equally shocked. This was not the Hanschen I knew. This Hanschen wore a sky blue night shirt and had his normally perfect blond hair mussed and sticking up at odd angles. This Hanschen had bare feet and sleep still in his eyes. I wondered if this was the same pristine Hanschen I admired everyday. It wasn't a bad look just different. He seemed softer. Much more like Melchior than I had ever dreamed. He stood teetering for a moment unsure of what to do.
" Honey, Ernst was caught in the storm so he will be staying with us until it calms." Mrs. Rilow smiled carefully keeping a close eye on her son.
"Ah, yes, good to see you. Would you excuse me for a moment." He turned and bolted back up the stairs. I watched him go and wanted to run out the front door. I must look a sight sopping wet at six in the morning.
" I am sorry sometimes Hanschen is so peculiar. He just has his tantrums and there is no consoling him. I have to tiptoe around that boy." His mother left the room and I contemplated running back into the storm. Anything would be better than having to embarrass myself in front of Hanschen and his whole family. Before I had time to make up my mind she returned with a stack of folded clothes.
" These are some of Hanschen's things. The shirt should fit but I think the pants may be a little short. The bathroom is right over there. You can leave your wet clothes and I will dry them for you." She grinned happy to be playing hostess. I took the things and quickly strode into the bathroom locking the door behind me.
I peeled my wet clothes off my body wondering what I should do with my underwear not feeling comfortable leaving it on display on the bathroom floor. My entire body blushed as I realized I would have to slip into Hanschen's underwear. I closed my eyes and as quickly as possible threw the clothes on. I examined my face in the mirror and tried my hardest to fix my hair. After a few moments more of adjustments I figured I was as ready as I would ever be to face the others.
I stepped out to see Hanschen coming down the stairs. He had changed into a cranberry red button down shirt and it made his blue eyes sparkle brighter than sapphires. His hair was neatly combed and the soft surprised Hanschen was nothing but a memory. Hanschen looked at me and I realized I had stopped breathing.
"Breakfast! Ernst, won't you join us?" Mrs. Rilow's cheery voice chirped from the dining room. I was about to politely decline when my stomach growled in protest. I followed Hanschen and found a seat across from him. Hanschen's father, a stern older man, sat at one end while his wife sat at the other. This left Hanschen and I sandwiched between the two and forced to stare into each other's faces. I wasn't about to complain but I felt bad for Hanschen being forced to look at me in such a state. I stared down at my plate trying to avoid eye contact.
" So you are one of Hanschen's classmates. Is that correct?" Mr. Rilow said stiffly. I went to answer but Mrs. Rilow chimed in.
" Of course he is! He is Ernst, the one Hanschen is always talking about."
" Mother this is hardly a suitable table discussion." Hanschen glared menacingly but it quickly turned into a charismatic smile.
" How do you do in school?" Hanschen's father inquired as I picked meagerly at my eggs. My appetite had quickly faded at the mere idea that Hanschen had mentioned my name to his parents.. I went to reply but this time Hanschen answered.
" He struggles in Latin and trigonometry. Occasionally he needs assistance in history. Despite these facts he isn't the worst in the class. That is Moritz." I sank in my seat.
Even with Hanschen being so cold I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He look so intense in red. It was indeed his color. It was such a long shot from our drab blue uniforms and it suited him so well. Before I had a chance to look away Hanschen caught me staring and tried to lock eyes. He always did like control. He had something brewing. The same jokers grin returned to his face as he looked at his father.
" Sounds like you could use a tutor. I have an idea! Hanschen why don't you tutor him. You are very gifted after all." I choked and had a coughing fit on my eggs. I looked up to see Hanschen calmly wipe his mouth clean.
" Wonderful idea father. Might I suggest the vineyard, Monday afternoon." all I could do was nod my head yes. I began to hyperventilate. I would be spending time alone with Hanschen after school. I pinched my leg to make sure I wasn't dreaming.
"Ow." Hanschen looked at me quizzically. I was awake as I began to massage where I had pinched. Oh my goodness! Hanschen alone after school was like a nightmare and dream wrapped into one package. I planned to be smooth but knew I would be the same old skittish Ernst. I snapped out of my thoughts when I realized the family was staring at me.
" The storm is calming down. I expect your mother will be worried sick." Mrs. Rilow had cleared away my plate and was taking everyone else's. I nodded understanding it was time for me to go home.
" Wait one second." Hanschen jumped form his seat and ran upstairs again. A few awkward moments passed as Hanschen's father and I sat in silence. Hanschen returned carrying a rain coat. " you can borrow my rain coat." I slipped it on. It was warm but big in the shoulders. Hanschen led me to the door.
" Thank you." I whispered looking at the floor cursing myself for the thoughts that flooded my mind as he smiled.
" See you Monday." His smile grew as he began to think. " Until then." He held the door open for me. I walked out but he put a hand on my shoulder. I tingled at his touch.
" Do take care of yourself. I would be upset if anything happened to my pupil." A gush of unintelligible syllables came out of my mouth as I wiggled in his touch wanting to get closer. Hanschen laughed and let go and with that he was gone.
The rain had tapered off into a light drizzle. I was beside myself with joy. I felt big and strong again in Hanschen's raincoat and I couldn't help but skip around in the puddles. I put my hands in the pocket of the raincoat and felt a paper brush up against my fingertips. I pulled it out and began to read.
The words upon my lips travel out to alight softly on yours
My dearest love, my dearest one
Live within me
Be my shining light and I will help you see the world
Oh, how I long for you
Your terrible chastity
Your fluttering eyes
I will be yours
And you will be mine
I gasped. Hanschen was in love and he had lost one of his love notes. I felt dirty reading it. I had peaked at something meant for someone else's eyes. My heart sank. Any hopes, how ever unlikely, of Hanschen and I getting together flitted away with the poem. I smiled weekly. Who ever Hanschen was in love with was a very lucky girl. She deserved him.
I soldiered on trying to find comfort in his clothes. I held tight to the poem dreaming it was meant for me but knowing it was not. I turned the bend and saw my house. I stopped cold feeling my world come crashing down around my ankles. Father stood on the front step sheltered by the over hang. He saw me and smiled. I knew from the very pit of me that things would only get worse but the priests words echoed in my head and I walked holding tight to the raincoat and the poem gripped safely in my hand. I walked right into the arms of the beast.
NOTE: i am not a poet and i don't pretend. also i got my first job as i lifeguard so i will be kind of busy and chapters are going to slow down a bit but i promise i will update as soon as possible.