Thanks to those who reviewed and read!

jojobevco: Thanks so much!

TSCC FAN: Glad you are enjoying it!

kaotic2: Just you wait, things are getting so exciting. I have already had the main stuff that would be going on in each chapter planned out and the plan is making me all excited. And don't worry, she won't do anything dumb, I think. Thanks so much for reviewing!

Cptlatnok: Alright, I am already being really nice by not having a harsh face up confrontation. John would be basically feeling all guilty and Cameron would be most puzzled. Thanks so much for reviewing!
TK-MR: And yes, worst memory but I can openly tell you it's not. I did consider that but I didn't want to torture them anymore too much so I went easy on it; just enough tension and yet not enough to snap. Thanks so much!

This chapter: Cameron got back one of her critical memory to John's treatment to her before.

Chapter 11: Gone is gone…

The small click was heard and the oven stopped. Cameron left John's embrace and opened the oven.

"Wow, that smells good," John commented, "I'll help you get it out," He smiled, rushing pass her and putting on the gloves, he took out the cake and flipped it over on the plate. The cake fell out from the cake tin easily and Cameron brought it to the dining.

John followed, attracted to the nice smell which wafted to his nostrils. She placed the cake on the table and John automatically sat down in front of it. He was handed a small spoon and immediately started digging into the soft fluffy cake. Bringing it to his mouth, John moaned as the familiar taste practically dug right down to his heart.

It tasted so good!

"Cameron, this is great," He let out another moan, "Try some," He gestured to the cake, swallowing his bite. Cameron smiled and sat down on his lap as he fed her a small piece. She smiled at John appreciatively. Their eyes met again and they were drawn to each other. Their lips met, drawing them into a passionate kiss.

John distractedly placed the fork on the table, running his hands up and down her sides, resting on her hips. Their kiss ended, this time quicker than all the others, in John's opinion. He opened his eyes and looked at Cameron, noticing the vision was blurry and his world was spinning.

She was like drugs to him. John was sure if he were standing, he'd have collapsed. He hugged her close to him, kissing her shoulder lovingly.

"Y'know what?" John mumbled into her shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Let's go get our new identities now and get married." John looked at her, pecking her lightly on her cheek.

"Now?" Cameron frowned, "But our identities. You know where to get them?"

John bit his lips, racking his brains to think of something. He considered Enrique's nephew but he may tell everything to Sarah when she gets her new identity as well. John thought deeply, cursing himself.

"It's alright, John," She ran her fingers through his short hair lovingly, "Not now. You have the entire time we have together to think. I'm not in a rush to get married. Though, you promised and that's enough for me…"

John nodded reluctantly, "We will get married I'll think of something. I swear. I'll get us new identities, new life"

"I know you will," She smiled, leaning it. John grinned, pulling her into a kiss.

"In the meantime…" John's voice trailed off as a sly smile takes its place.

"No, John!" Cameron cried out as John scooped her into his arms and ran to the room. Cameron threw back her head and laughed as he kissed her neck, standing in front of the unmade bed. John looked up at her, kissing her chest one last time before placing her down on the bed gently.

John crawled up above her. Her hands ran across his bare chest gently, fingertips sending tingling sensation crawling all over his torso. John, in the meantime, reached forward and pulling the string to release Cameron's bathrobes. He smiled, leaning down to take her lips on his.

"What'd you want to do?" Cameron mumbled cautiously but playfully so.

"Whatever you want," He replied.

"I want to get a bath," Cameron said unexpectedly. John pulled away slowly, grinning at her and nodding.

"Go. Before I change my mind," His eyes trying not to linger on her naked body.

Cameron chuckled, sitting up. Gracefully, she dropped the bathrobes on the floor, leaving her completely naked. Not missing a step, she walked to the wardrobe and pulled out her clothes and a towel, stepping into the bathroom. John never moved an inch as his ears pricked upon hearing the sound of water. He smiled to himself and moved to clear up the bed.

Meanwhile, Cameron brought up the bottle of shampoo and started shampooing her long silky brown hair. Who am I? What am I? She wondered once again as her fingers massaged her scalp. Cameron lost track of time and kept massaging, till her fingers came across something rough in her scalp.

Puzzled, Cameron washed off the soap and brought it to the mirror, moving aside as much hair as she could. Peering at her scalp, she saw a scar. With her fingers searching again, she found another on the back of her head. Frowning, Cameron froze, racking her brains to recall. Gasping, the beautifully furnished bathroom vanished into thin air.

"Didn't you already let go? On your sixteenth birthday?" Cameron felt tears welled up in her eyes as well as she walked closer to John. He froze, cornered by her statement, there is no argument there.

Slowly, the surrounding materialized around her, showing a park.

"Yeah, but it wasn't I who let go that day. There wasn't anything left of us that I can hold on to. You are the one who broke everything! You are the one who destroyed the very thing I ever wanted!" John said tightly and harshly.

"John, I didn't want to, I tried-"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear any of it! You can have sex or kiss any guy you want, I don't care!" John interrupted, snapping. Some of the people in the park turned to them but quickly look away as they spotted the heated argument between a 'couple', not wanting to interrupt them.

Cameron's own tears fell despite her effort in keeping them in. John felt his hesitation as he saw her tears glittering in the sunlight but he tightened his jaw muscles, clenching his fist.

"I can fix it, John. We can be-"

"No, you can't!" John cut her off again, "Gone is gone!" He growled.

"John-" Cameron walked forward at a quicker pace. John subconsciously thrust his hands out furiously, pushing her back.

Cameron attempted to regain her balance but a throb in her wound prevented her from thrusting a leg out behind her to balance her out. Cameron felt her heels dug into the damp soil, losing her balance, she fell back, the back of her head hitting the stone bench. A sharp pain laced its way into her head.

"Cameron!" tumbled his way out of John's mouth, filled with anxiety, shock and fear. She felt his hands on her arm. Her world started to spin and turned fuzzy. She lost sight of John slowly and the park, all the plants, the people. Finally, she leaned to her side, falling on her left arm onto the damp grass. Her world disappeared into darkness.

Cameron screamed, back stepping. She lost her footing and fell onto the floor. She fell on her side as she attempted to turn during her fall, remembering the sensation of hitting a bench at the back of her head. It hurts…it hurts her so much…

Her breathing came out in rasp; her eyes were wide in fear. Unexpectedly, she turned and leaned over the toilet bowl, vomiting all she consumed. Leaving her throat dehydrated, raw and filled with a sour taste which lingered. John, why would he do this to me?

A loud hammering was heard on the door accompanied with John's strong and firm voice calling her name. But the boy in her vision is so different. This John with her, hammering on the door, was kind, caring and loving to her. But that John seemed ruthlessly, harsh and hated her.

"No, you can't! Gone is gone!"

It echoed in her mind, pestering her. She let out another agonizing scream, clutching at her head. She retreated into a corner, hugging herself. The door burst open. John stepped in, anxious eyes searching the bathroom. Finding Cameron in a corner, he approached carefully.

"Cameron?" John said gently. But to Cameron's ears, he didn't seem the same anymore. She looked up at him fearfully, met with the same John from her memories but different eyes. This one had kind eyes, "Cameron." He approached, kneeling down in front of her. His arms snaked around each side of her.

John felt her stiffen as he hugged her gently. He felt terrible. Cameron was literally shaking under him. Tightening his hug, he kissed the top of her head. His hands ran up and down her bare and smooth back, in a futile attempt to soothe her.

"Cameron, talk to me," He mumbled into her damp but fragrant hair. She began to cry softly. John pulled away the hug, seeing it was no use in comforting her at all. Instead, John took a different approach. He cupped her cheeks and made her look him in the eyes, firmly asking, "What happened?"

"Stay away from me," She whispered in her own fear but the amount of venom was not untraceable. John stiffened; what he had feared all came through. She didn't want him anymore. He let go of her, falling back and sat down on the cold tile floor, loss for words.

There goes their hard built up relationship. That's it…she remembers now. Remembers how badly he'd treated her and what he'd said to hurt her deliberately. John's heart throbbed as the pace of each beat quicken as well as strengthen. His chest is starting to hurt when he forced himself to look at the victim of his reckless and cruel words. He'll lose her.

She was hugging her knees; eyes closed however, tears seeped out from those closed eyelids all these while. John was at loss for comfort for her as well. He regretted hurting her but he couldn't tell her nor help her. John knew whatever happened he'd said those words and it was his fault. He thought he could get away with it but in the end he still had to pay the price for this.

John moved to her and held her gently, rubbing his cheek on the top of her head, feeling the dampness of her hair.

"Cameron…" John spoke croakily, feeling his eyes flood with tears as well. He remained kneeling in front of her, lost in his own regret, "I'm so sorry."

Cameron didn't reply nor react to his words to apologies. John felt the weight of the world got heavier and crashed onto his frail shoulders once again. He started to feel tears subconsciously flowing down his cheek and onto the tile flooring.

Cameron didn't feel any better. She felt it was difficult to breathe in her fetus position and restrained in her movement. Her legs were so tight on her abdomen that she couldn't breathe but she couldn't care less. Her heart hurts so much. Maybe it was because of the lack of oxygen or maybe it's just her heart, wrenched and squeezed so tightly after remember John's words. Her John and yet not.

"Cameron…" She heard John speaking again. He sounded so frail and sorry. Cameron listened to them but they sound empty to her as the care and concern he showed to her these days shattered into nothingness. She hugged herself tighter, feeling the band on her ring finger which tied her heart to the other party who wore an identical one. It felt smooth around her finger, and also loose, just like their relationship.

Their relationship had always been unsure for Cameron. She was confused with all that's happen between John and her. She can't remember anything and he did his best to comfort her that it's alright she doesn't remember anything but in the end it wasn't.

Although their relationship together made Cameron felt safe, happy but it was also dangerous. Like a person standing on the ledge of a building, waiting, just waiting for a time when the wind would become too strong for him to remain standing. In that time, he'll fall down to the bottom and die.

John didn't realize that letting Cameron remember things also made her feel what she initially felt. It was a risk that went wrong.

It was a mistake John Baum made but John Connor paid the price for that mistake.

The pair remained on the tile of their bathroom floor. The coldness was seeping through John's pants and his knees are getting numb. But he knew Cameron felt worse now. She wasn't wearing anything at all and he'd left the door open.

Tentatively, John reached for her towel from his position. Bringing it down, he carefully moved a numb knee one before another and slowly placed the towel over Cameron's bare shoulder. She didn't move so John assumed she was asleep. He hesitantly and carefully bent over, wrapping his arms around her body. He jumped as her ice cold body touched his hands.

Yelping, John jumped to his feet, losing his balance due to his numb knees but managed to support himself with the sink. Once he got his balance, John bent over and scooped Cameron into his arms, feeling the bitter cold seeping into his arms.

He ran out of the bathroom and to the bed he had made before. John quickly flung aside the sheets with his fingers from under Cameron's knees and placed her on the bed. Throwing the sheet back on her naked body, he ran to the edge of the bed and looked under it to find a heater which the last owner left.

Quickly, John connected it to a power supply and activated it, slowly warming the bed. He returned to Cameron's side, kneeling by her bedside. He placed an arm across her abdomen, feeling her cold temperature seeping through the sheets and touching him, sending goosebumps on his arms.

He touched Cameron's forehead and realized it was cold too. John muttered a curse and kissed her softly on her forehead. Staying there for a while and realizing this helpless plan isn't working, John stood up and took off his boxers, crawling into bed next to Cameron.

Gently, he placed his arms around her and intertwined their legs. Her body was unbearably cold. John didn't even want to think what's going on with her. An eerie sensation ran up his spine, sending it tingling. She seemed dead…John gulped.

"Cameron," He mumbled into her hair before sinking into sleep.

The next morning, he woke, only to find Cameron's eyes still closed; naked and beautiful body under the sheets, smooth skin against his own. John wanted to cry out to her but didn't manage any. He didn't know how long he slept but his eyes were sore and painful with every blink.

Watchful and hopeful greenish-grey eyes watched her, unblinking. His mouth mumbled and chanted her name over and over. His mind wondered what's wrong with her, is she hurt? Her heart is bruised and assumed it was his fault. Time passed and John had no idea how long.

2 days later…

He lost track of time. It was as if it froze.

His stomach never growled, his mouth never felt thirst and dry, he hardly blinked or move at all.

John Connor wondered if he were human at all. His world shut down. His 'CPU' stopped functioning along with his lover's. But he had an argument for his state.

Her, his lover's, stomach never growled, her mouth never feel thirst or dry, her eyes were always closed and she never moved an inch. John missed the endless pools of warm chocolate brown looking up at him, curious and hungry for answers and sometimes, for him. John wanted to sigh as he stared lovingly as his unconscious lover, but he couldn't. His throat was hoarse but he didn't want water.

He wanted Cameron to open her eyes, look at him. Not having the ability to do anything about it, John closed his eyes and shifted a small centimeter closer to Cameron. He sank into sleep, praying she'd wake.

A few hours later…

Cameron Baum's pools of chocolate brown snapped open, seeing her blurry world which she always sees every time she just woke. Cameron felt a warm sensation on her skin. She realized she was naked, under the sheets. But not just under the sheets, John Connor laid asleep beside her, hugging her, holding her.

She turned a little to look at him.

Gone is gone…

However, a small voice called out from her head. No…he's here with you and you're here by him…

The haunting voice returned. His heart isn't with you…

No argument was set on the plate to rebuke that voice. Cameron's mind was a mess. She doesn't know anymore. All she had to do was clarify with John, but she doesn't want to. Cameron wanted to live this beautiful lie. She slowly moved a sore and stiff arm from her side and gently stroked John's arm which was set on her abdomen protectively.

He didn't respond and Cameron continued stroking his arm. She jumped when he mumbled for her. Expecting he was awake, she turned to him but he was apparently sleep talking. Cameron's brows furrowed in somewhat impatient. She decided to shake him.

With her hand on his arm, she shook him gently. It took a while but slowly, tired green eyes opened. They appeared bleary at first but widen as they met Cameron's. No words were needed as he pulled her into a weak hug, kissing her on her cheek furiously.

She felt his dry and sore lips on her skin. Cupping his cheek, Cameron pulled him into a gentle kiss. She tasted his dry lips passionately.

His lips felt dry on hers but hers isn't any better. They kiss gently or rather weakly. It took a while for both of them to be convinced they had each other and then did they part reluctantly.

"I'll get us something to eat, you got to be hungry," John's hoarse voice spoke nervously, praying she won't bring up what she remembered in the bath. He slowly sat up, feeling his back creak uncomfortably. His stomach growled.

"John," A soft hand touched his arm. John was grateful for this simple touch of warmth. He turned weakly to Cameron, "I'll get it," She smiled, getting up at a quicker speed then John, sweeping a bathrobe off the tip of the bed. He nodded, smiling with his pale lips. He lay back down, watching as Cameron walked to the kitchen to get both of them something to eat.

She felt weak but she kept going. She heard her stomach growled as she approached the kitchen but ignored it. Her head hurts but it was nothing. There was an odd feeling in the middle of her torso, her abdomen but she couldn't careless.

Cameron kept going. She realized John had no idea she remembers everything now…and he never will…

To be continued…

Next Chapter: John's unawareness of Cameron's recovery didn't stop him. He suspected something when her way of speech and actions was different. Cameron knew John lied to her and was trapped in her own confusion if having John to own up would be best for them. While John suffered the guilt of lying to someone he loved so deeply. Both of them are forced to make a decision but before one could, the other decided to take a risky move.