Please enjoy the following segment while I curse myself for not voting Mousefur off. Seriously, I'm cursing myself. Wait, if there's.....Woohoo! Thanks for giving me a superfantabulous idea for the next season (if there is one) sandydragon! I love creative thinking! HA!
"Jayfeather. Sorry, you lost."
"!" Jayfeather cried. "WHAT DID I DO TO YOU PEOPLE???"
"Umm...try not following orders," Firestar told him.
"But I'm not USELESS!" Jayfeather spat.
"Never said that. But the shadow had no scent, didn't make a noise unless it was talking. OBVIOUSLY we couldn't let you go after it."
Jayfeather rolled his eyes an climbed into the Boat of Losers. "You'll ALL see!"
Meanwhile, at ThunderClan camp...
Whitestorm started freaking out. "AAH! AAH! BLOODCLAN IS GOING TO KILL ME!"
"No they're not," Cinderpelt soothed him. "They'll get beaten. You won't die."
Jayfeather padded into the camp. "Where am I? Ooh, look, it's the cat that's going to get killed by Bone! Enjoy the last moments of your life!" Then Jayfeather disappeared.
Whitestorm glared at Cinderpelt. "He was looking right at me. Told you."
Back at the plot....
Dirtplace camera...
Firestar "Seeing that, now I know how Whitestorm knew he was going to die. Because he implied it like five times."
Chris "Wait, that crazy cat is about to die? Sweet!"
"GOOD MORNING CAMPERS!" Chris shouted before Dovepaw could say a word.
"Hey," Dovepaw spat.
"Sorry, I'm used to doing it." Chris shrugged and continued. "TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS FROM THE USUAL. WE'RE HAVING A TALENT SHOW!"
"But I don't have a talent," Sorrelpaw muttered.
"You'll be fine," Bramblepaw assured her. "Everyone's good at something."
"But we don't get taught talents unless you're a medicine cat!" Sorrelpaw argued. "We're just taught how to survive. No fun, no tricks, just survival."
"Hey, surviving is fun!" Mousefur growled.
"Surviving doesn't count as a talent," Chris interupted. "You have one hour to figure out your talent. You can team up with one other person from your team. Good luck!"
Dirtplace camera...
Mousefur + Sorrelpaw Mousefurled Sorrelpaw to the camera. "Okay, let's see you being a game host."
"Hello, and welcome to Total Island Drama! I am your host, Sorrelpaw, and Chris should go fall in a hole and DIE THERE! MUHAHAHAHA!" Sorrelpaw cackled.
Mousefur backed away slowly. "Try not to mention Chris. Take 2!"
"Hello, and welcome to Total Island Drama, where we make cats suffer for amusement!" Sorrelpaw announced. "I am your host, Sorrelpaw. Okay, Mousefur, go..."
Mousefur + Sorrelpaw + Firestar + Bramblepaw Firestar and Bramblepaw were walking and arguing. "Please team up with me?" Bramblepaw asked.
"No," Firestar replied.
"Please?" Bramblepaw asked.
"Great talent, guys!" Sorrelpaw shouted. "Sorry. Anyway, let's see how-"
"Fine," Firestar muttered. "We already have a talent. So let's practice."
And....Cloudtail attempted to juggle. Seriously, he's the only cat that we didn't put in front of the Dirtplace camera...
"Okay, time's up!" Chris announced. "Let's see our first talent: Cloudtail!"
Cloudtail limped onto the stage, carrying two balls in his mouth and keeping his weight off one of his hindpaws. "Greetings. I'm Cloudtail, and tonight I will juggle."
Cloudtail took the balls from his mouth and tried to put his weight on his hind paws, but with the one paw injured he couldn't support himself and he fell straight down, making a face plant on the stage.
"Are you okay?" Dovepaw asked.
"....HAHAHAHA! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Cloudtail laughed.
Dirtplace camera...
Shadow "We hate to bring up past events, buddy, but it was just the craziest moment ever. Please don't strangle me." Shadow then ran from a yellow blur.
Tigerstar "I love painting my fur yellow!"
"Next up, Firestar and Bramblepaw!" Chris announced.
"WOOHOO!" Dovepaw cheered.
Cloudtail just let out a maniacal laugh.
Firestar and Bramblepaw padded onto the stage. "Can I do a talent with you?" Bramblepaw asked.
"No," Firestar told him.
"Please?"
"No."
"PRETTY please?"
"No."
"But why?"
"Because you're the son of my worst enemy."
"But by now I've gained your trust, right?"
Firestar just gave him a sympathetic glance.
Bramblepaw sobbed and ran off stage. Firestar followed him.
"That was a weird talent," Dovepaw muttered. "But enjoyable."
"YAY!" Cloudtail cackled.
"NOO! IT DISAPPEARED!" a voice sobbed.
"Next is Sorrelpaw and Mousefur," Chris told himself.
Tigerstar ran on stage. "I love painting myself yellow! Aren't I PRETTY?"
"WHAT AN AWESOME TALENT!" Dovepaw applauded, whistling.
Cloudtail groaned.
"Um, Mr. Fluffy Pillows, good job at being out of character. But out of character is no longer original, and you're not even in the contest," Chris commented as Tigerstar got punted onto the Boat of Losers by an unpaid camera man.
"SORRELPAW! MOUSEFUR! YOU'VE BEEN ON FOR THREE MINUTES!" Chris shouted.
Sorrelpaw and Mousefur ran onstage. Sorrelpaw was dressed up like a magician, and Mousefur was wearing a sailor's cap.
"Hello, and welcome to Totally Island Drama! I'm Sorrelpaw, your host! Your challenge today, Mousefur, is to eat this pudding cup. If you do it, I'll sing a song with you."
Mousefur nodded and eagerly ate the pudding cup. Sorrelpaw stared at her, then both cats stared straight at Chris.
Mousefur cleared her throat. "So if we all come together, we know what to do, we all come together just to sing: we HATE you! And if we all come together, we know what to do! We all come together just for YOU!"
Sorrelpaw took off her magician's hat. "Meeting throughout all the Den of Moon! Chasing after plots while acting like a loon! Causing panic with his evil laugh!" Sorrelpaw held up a picture of Hawkfrost. "Party hardy in the Council!"
Mousefur and Sorrelpaw began doing cartwheels. "Planning, planning, JUMPing off the railing! Plotting, plotting, TIL the place is rotting! Thinking, thinking, LOTS of happy feelings!"
Sorrelpaw stepped up for her second solo. "Come, let's sing the Evil Song!"
Mousefur pushed her out of the way. "So if we all come together, we know what to do! We all come together just for you!"
"Nice parody of the Sailor Song," Dovepaw told them.
"Loved the part with the Totally Island Drama, the song was so-so," Firestar admitted.
"It BETTER be!" Cinderpaw, appearing out of nowhere, growled. "That song belongs to the Evil Laugh Council! And you STOLE IT!"
"But you guys didn't use it yet," Bramblepaw pointed out.
"We're going to SOON!" Cinderpaw hissed. "Be glad you didn't sing the whole song, otherwise I wouldn't let you live." And with that, the evil gray cat disappeared.
Chris blinked. "That was weird. Anyway, who won?"
"Sorrelpaw and Mousefur, no contest," Dovepaw immediately responded.
Cloudtail laughed maniacally and gave a thumbs up.
"Case closed," Chris announced. "I'll see Cloudtail, Firestar, and Bramblepaw in the elimination round."
Dirtplace camera...
Sorrelpaw "Wondering what our evil plans will do. Destroy Firestar, and the Author too! Or just fail like all of (name omitted) shows! Not to mention Code Lyoko! Planning, planning, JUMPing off the railing! Plotting, plotting, TIL the place is rotting! Thinking, thinking, LOTS of happy feelings! Come, let's sing the Evil Song!"
"What?" Sorrelpaw asked. "I like that song!"
Elimination! BAH BAH BAH! Okay, this time we admit we're singing to the tune of Thriller.
Chris shivered. "Okay, we all know who's going to lose, but we'll throw in suspense anyway. First mouse goes to Firestar."
"YAY!" Firestar danced with his mouse. Then he glanced at Cloudtail and smiled evilly.
"What?" Cloudtail asked before letting out an involuntary maniacal cackle.
"One mouse, two cats," Chris reminded everyone, staring at Bramblepaw and Cloudtail.
It's very obvious who lost. I do enjoy my parody of the Sailor Song. And I have nothing against Code Lyoko, it was a good show, but I needed something that rhymed.
I love how everyone keeps picking the cat that will lose next chapter. I also love that no one besides (name omitted) knows who won yet, or has even figured it out. It keeps me confident in my subtlety, even if now it's dead obvious who's going to win.