Thanks to those who read and reviewed!!!

TSCC FAN: Yup, they are for now but don't forget, they would be having some intense stuff in this chapter. Thanks!

zahnfan23: Thanks, glad you liked it.

WilliamJago: This chapter would wrench at your heart, I hope so; as John and Cameron would go through their own mind turbulence. Thanks, I'm still working on the grammar. I found some trouble getting my grammar good this chapter as the characters' mind screwing stuff is getting me all messed up. I hope the grammar isn't too bad…Thanks again!

kaotic2: Thanks. This chapter would be mostly some indecisive stuff on both of their mind so I hope you'd enjoy it.

Dc: Thanks!

jojobevco: Thanks so much!

martinpe: Thanks and you are right, the odds are getting worst. In this chapter, both of them would be having a hard time with themselves. Thank you so much!

TK-MR: Thanks and yes, the cake's waste now. Yup, it would be more of an emotional rollercoaster on this chapter and less action.

This chapter: Cameron and John went through their own emotional rollercoaster as both of them know the stakes of making a move. Cameron began to doubt their relationship as well with all her memories back.

Chapter 12: Lie To Me

Cameron carefully placed the bowl of fish porridge on the tray. She made it herself, deboned it personally, wondering if he would like it. She felt it wasn't good enough as it wasn't cooked for very long but John was hungry and the last thing she wanted was him to pass out due to hunger.

She disposed the cake into the bin, remembering how lovingly John looked at her as they ate the cake. It hurt her heart to even think.

She took a spoon and walked gracefully to their room, finding John's eyes closed but the rise and fall in his chest was obvious. Cameron smiled weakly to herself; sitting down by John.

"John," Her voice was thick with concern as she gently called and shook him. He started to stir, eyes opening and as if on cue, he smiled at her. Placing her small hand on his back, she helped him up, kissing him gently on the temple before bringing up the bowl.

He watched, licking his lips as Cameron brought a small spoonful of steaming porridge up, blowing it a couple of agonizing seconds before feeding it to John. He gobbled it up hungrily, craving for more. John's eyes stared at the porridge, realizing how hungry he was.

This cycle continued and soon, the bowl was empty with John licking his lips in satisfaction.

"Thanks, it was delicious," He spoke, with more energy as the color returns to his cheek. They stared into each others eyes, smiling for a long time before John frowned, "Have you eaten yours?"

Cameron shook her head slowly but with a small satisfied smile, seeing John much more energetic now. He gaped, lunging forward and taking the empty bowl from her, leaving it at the table. John jumped off the bed and wore his boxer. Later, he scooped her into his arms and carried her out. Cameron didn't resist. She knew John well; well enough to know he was going to make something for her.

Cameron looked at the side of John's anxious face and thought about how frightening her life is. She was in total trauma when she remembered John and her argument. Cameron remembers losing consciousness and afterwards she remembered…everything…Riley…Sarah…Derek…skynet…even Ryan…

She missed Sarah and Ryan, the older one and the young one. Cameron didn't think it as John bringing her away but it was her; bringing John away from Sarah. She knows John, the same John who loves her more than anything, is all Sarah has.

For all they knew, perhaps Sarah had committed suicide after learning about they're departure, John's departure, her son…They won't know if she did, they can't stop her if she did.

Cameron felt cruel. Cruel to Sarah and also cruel to little Ryan. She left him back there. And he was her good friend; she loved him like a brother and she left him.

She began consider punching John straight in the face, knocking him out and carrying him to the front door of their old house. Dropping John there, ringing the door bell and run away forever. Cameron knows she is just another wall between John and Sarah. She knows what Sarah wants and she know John wants to be with her but Sarah needs John more than she does.

"John," Cameron spoke weakly, trying to get his attention.

"Hush, don't speak. I don't want to hear a sound from you," He hushed her gently, placing her down on the soft couch, kissing her sweetly on her revealed chest before walking to the kitchen, leaving her to her thoughts. I have to get John back to Sarah. She needs him more than I do.

She watched the scene of John rushing around the in the kitchen, confused and lost at what to cook. He doesn't even know how. Cameron sat up from the couch and walked unsteadily to John.

He rounded the counter when he saw her coming and took her hand.

"I told you not to move," John said accusingly. He half expected Cameron to pout or whine but she didn't. Instead-

"If I didn't, I wouldn't have anything decent to eat till tomorrow," She countered. John flushed beet red, trying to shrug off the embarrassing moment. He felt Cameron's warm hands cupping his face, "It's alright, you don't have to learn how to cook, as long as I'm here," Cameron smiled. He smiled at her too but frowned when she wasn't looking. John didn't know how to describe it but she doesn't seem like herself at all.

It seems to be as if she's taking care of him now which doesn't make any sense. He watched as she walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Come to think of it, she has been regaining her memories. Could it be she has already remembered everything?! John thought, horrified. What if she left me?

He decided to make a practical approach, "Cameron," John walked into the kitchen, taking her shoulders in his hand, "Look me in the eye and tell me if you remember anything,"

Cameron frowned and hid the bitter taste in her heart, looking up at John with her innocent and pure look, "I don't remember everything. Is there anything you want to tell me?" Cameron feigned innocent, praying deep in her heart that he'll lie to her, tell her no, there isn't anything he want to tell her.

John opened his mouth, ready to reply; ready to tell her no, he didn't have anything to tell her but before he could do that, she swayed on the spot and fell to her side.

"CAMERON!" Her world turn black, accompanied with John's screams of horror.

*

The sweet taste seeped into her mouth, wetting her dry chapped lips.

"Cameron…" The familiar and gentle voice forced her to open her eyes, "Hey…"

John loomed over her, blocking out the light, "You alright?" He asked, voice laced with thick concern, "Cameron, answer me."

"John," She mumbled with the little strength she had. Cameron thrust out her hand weakly, wanting to touch him on the cheek but she couldn't. Gently, he pinned down her hand and fed her another mouth of whatever he made.

She downed another spoon of it.

"Everything after you finish this," John grunted, feeding her another spoon. Cameron took it gratefully but the thought of John and her running away from Sarah is stuck at the back of her head. She just couldn't drop it. But right now, she'll need strength. Her vision remained blurry as John fed her just like how she had fed him a while ago.

John looked lovingly at her.

"I love you." Cameron mumbled, meaning it as a reminder to herself. She isn't sure anymore if she love him, or if she could. John hurt her so badly and she could still feel the bitterness in her battered heart. John seemed to know this; he could sense something was up with her. The way she looked at him was different too, John realized. She remembered and was now expecting me to tell her the truth from my own mouth, or so he thought.

"I know." John replied softly, feeding her another spoon. He couldn't bring himself to tell her he'd love her too. John didn't want to lie to her anymore or hurt her any deeper. She took it silently.

"John," Cameron said a little forcefully. She silently prayed for him to reply to her, tell her he loved her. She wanted him to keep up this lie. John was scared but so was she. Sometimes, ignorance is really a blessing.

"Yeah?" John muttered as a reply. Cameron had to bite her lips to prevent her from crying out in pure frustration. She keep her mouth tightly shut as she ate the food which she figured is porridge, only a little too watery; otherwise, it tasted quite good.

John smiled lovingly at her after finishing the porridge. Cameron frowned slightly and stared at him blankly as he reached up and scooped off a small speck of porridge left on her lips. Then he retreated to the kitchen. Cameron wanted to stop him but didn't have the heart. Instead, she lay down and rested, staring around the room.

Spotting a small speck of brown sticking out of the half closed drawer at the bedside table, she dived for it weakly. Her slender fingers traced the hard but smoothed cover book. Cameron turned it over and felt the tears rushing into her eyes. She blinked, bringing the book to the bed and opened it. More tears began to sting her eyes.

"John…" She breathed in between sobs.

*

John walked to the kitchen, dropping the bowl into the sink with a slight clank. He leaned against the counter, thinking. He loves her and knows it but she must've remembered everything and figured this was all a lie. She was pressing him so hard back there it scared him so badly. Everything would fall away the moment he opened his mouth and tell her the truth or lie again.

What worried John most was what if Cameron didn't remember anything; what if everything was a thought on his part? Then wouldn't he be digging his own grave?

Either way seemed to be death for them.

Cameron smiled at him before Future John raised the controller, pressing the red button after setting the time and date.

A huge blue ball of electricity emerged. John and Sarah gazed at it with awe, Derek glanced at it lazily.

"Its time," Future John said, taking a step forward.

"Wait," John shouted. Both of the leaving parties turned around to see John pulling Cameron into fierce hug. He rested his face into the crook of her neck.

Future John watched as Cameron hesitated to return it but eventually did. Cameron smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling John against her.

For a moment, John wished it could always be like this. He knew he had taken Cameron for granted all this time. Future John was right to take her away but John never thought anyone would take Cameron away from him last time. Now, when he knew, it's all too late, there's nothing he could do now.

He had felt like dying at this second or jump back into time to atone how he'd treated Cameron in the past although John had never liked time travelling after his last experience.

Cameron pushed John away gently, smiling as he gave her that pleading look.

"Cam, go on," future John spoke "It's your choice,"

Cameron blinked a couple of times before lowering her head, biting her lower lips. John felt his heart wrenched as he waited for Cameron to make up her mind; his hand resting on Cameron's arm.

Cameron took a look at Future John, relinquishing her contact with John, taking Future John's hand as they faced the blue ball of light. For a moment, John's face fell, knowing her choice but nobody expected.

After Cameron kissed Future John on the cheek, she pulled her hand from his. Cameron took a step away from him and from the blue ball of light and closer to John, Sarah and Derek, the present.

John's face lit up as he took Cameron's hand firmly, squeezing it. Future John looked shocked and hurt but he managed a faint smile.

"Cam, I came back for you, I never thought I'd return without you. Oh well, I won't know what you'd do next anymore," future John sighed, trying desperately to hide his pain and soothe the feel of his heart tearing, "I always thought you'll become more human, but you already had in my absence,"

Cameron cocked her head, watching emotions displayed on his face against his will.

"Well, I guess you're coming with me Carter," Future John said, forcing a smile, "I still need my personal assistant you know. And don't worry, this time, I promise, I won't pull any punches. Only guns if you turn on me,"

Carter nodded, walking closer to the ball of light.

"Let's go then," Future John jerked his head to the ball of light, "Oh, and John, love her for me. Cam loved me, but she loved you more. Remember that and remember tonight. You're a luckier guy I could ever be,"

John held Cameron's hand closer to his body as he smiled, nodding, "I know; I know," He turned to gaze at Cameron, joy enveloping his heart, having no idea how future John felt at this moment.

Cameron made her choice back there and chose him. She gave up everything she had with Future John and chose him. She loved him.

Cameron had given up everything for him. I shouldn't be so selfish. She needs to know. John squeezed his eyes shut and walked to the room, ready to blurt the truth out to her. He stood at the door, spotting the book in her hand.

*

Her tears blurred up her vision.

Catching something at the corner of her eyes, she turned and saw him standing in the doorway, staring straight at her, "John." She cried softly, breaking down into rags and uncontrollable sobs.

John watched her, smiling at her lovingly before walking to her, "You want me to read it to you?" He offered, sitting down beside her. Cameron nodded through her tears. He chuckled, wiping off her tears with his thumb and index finger gently before helping her back to lie down on the bed. He sat close to her, one hand on hers and one hand holding the book, leaning on the headrest.

"Before I start," John shifted to face her, "I have to tell you something. It was a lie. Everything, our relationship, our love, our lives. I lied to you, I hurt you. I'm so sorry. I-"

"Please stop." Cameron pleaded to John's surprise. She was already crying.

John pinched his lips together, he needed to continue no matter how much this hurts her, "Whatever you chose, I'll never leave you or stop protecting you or stop loving you for as long as I live. I love you. My heart aches for you, something I have never nor will I ever feel for Mom; or Derek or maybe, even my dad. So that's what I'll do. That's how much I treasure this precious feeling you gave to me. So I lied to you and you have the rights to leave me, I'll give you a choice in this. I'd do whatever you want me to."

"LIE TO ME! Please…" Cameron screamed, sobbing uncontrollably. John sat there, shell shocked. His lips parted in pure shock. He'd thought she wanted the truth, wanted the true him to be sitting with her but she didn't. She needed a lie to soothe this out. That was the last thing he'd thought she wanted.

"Cameron," John cupped her face, "I did this to you. I'd die if you want me to, I'd stay if you want me to."

She looked at him with teary eyes. She cried out, throwing her arms around his neck, "I love you too." She sobbed, into his ear. He let a relief smile spread across his lips.

"I can't lie to you; I'd never want to lie to you." John spoke earnestly.

"What about Sarah?" Cameron sobbed.

"I miss mom. But I'm sure you'll make that go away. You already made this all worthwhile," John stroked her hair gently, "I won't go away. You can't make me." He mumbled, kissing her gently on her temple. Cameron smiled at John through her tears and leaned on his shoulder, "Don't make me. It hurts." John mumbled.

"If you put it like that…" Cameron smiled at him. She closed her eyes and enjoying the feel of having John close to her. He opened the book of: The Wizard of Oz and started reading.

Cameron laid quietly in his arms, listening attentively to his voice as well as the beautiful story. They both lost track of time again as John finished the book, closing it. He placed it aside and stroked Cameron's silky brown hair.

"So we're still getting married?" John asked, receiving a gentle nod, "Tomorrow?" Another nod and John leaned back satisfied.

"Are you sure?" Cameron sat up and looked at John.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He challenged. Cameron was silent after that till an idea struck John. He sat up suddenly, startling Cameron, "Let's go swimming." His eyes glistened with excitement. Fear struck Cameron's heart like lightning striking a small tree in an open space.

"No," She mumbled in objection timidly.

"Why?" He frowned.

"I don't swim." Cameron stated flatly.

"I know. That's why I'll teach you. Come on!" He jumped off the bed and pulled her along. Cameron sat on the bed as John rummaged the cupboard, pulling out clothes for Cameron and for himself. He threw it to her who caught it neatly. She looked hesitantly at the clothes in her hands while John wore his shorts over his boxers and shirt over his bare torso.

Cameron reluctantly put on hers. John sat down on the bed, pretending to be counting their diamonds but his eyes kept wandering back to peeping at Cameron changing. He hated himself for that but then again, maybe it's not a bad idea after all…he thought to himself, unable to keep his eyes away from her.

Cameron noticed it as well but decided to keep mum about it since she personally doesn't really mind John staring at her down to the skin. She delicately peeled off her bathrobe and hung it on the backing of a chair.

John stared. His cheeks began to burn and John felt almost ashamed about being so--- well, he doesn't know what but it just felt perverted, like he shouldn't be doing that. So he turned away from her and shut his eyes, cursing himself with every curse he can think of, cursing himself to hell.

Then he felt a smooth and warm sensation on his cheeks. They forced him to look upwards. Slowly, he opened his eyes to see Cameron standing there, hands cupping his cheeks. She was practically glowing in his blurry vision from closing his eyes. Then he realized, she was as naked as day.

"John?" Cameron spoke but he didn't reply, he stared, "John." She said again, in an accusing tone. His lips parted as he took in her features. Cameron frowned at his trance.

She couldn't get his attention thus she leaned in and took his lips on hers and it worked. John stopped staring and instead closed his eyes, concentrating on kissing her. She gained her new memories back but she didn't like that. The new memories made Cameron feel sad and tied down, she would never feel like the carefree girl/machine when she lost her memories again. Cameron felt her memories brought hell back down on her.

Now, she's kissing John Connor, the man she has come to admire, learnt to love so much which sometimes brought confusion to her naïve mind. But Cameron found out she liked kissing him, just him. It made her feel all the troubles disappeared to nowhere just having a taste of sweet love. Her world shifted the moment she felt his lips on hers.

-+-

He hardly knew what happened when Cameron's lips touched his. John's mind was floating in nothingness when his eyes took in Cameron's naked body. It wasn't the first time but every time her body amazed him so much it left his mouth hanging open. He couldn't help it but only hope in time it would lessen.

John kissed back; relief to be able to put his mind on kissing her other than staring at her.

*

"So, which one do you want?" John asked, one arm wrapped around her waist and resting on her hips loosely. They walked down the aisle lazily, glancing at every swimsuit they went pass.

Cameron didn't answer his question and John knew why. She wasn't what John would call enthusiastic about touching water. This is one thing they had different to each other. John loved swimming whereas, Cameron, as a indestructible killing machine, has her pride in her abilities and hated to go anywhere near something she is weak at and that is swimming.

"Cameron, I'm talking to you!" He snapped playfully. She looked up at him, pouting, something she hasn't forgot since her memory lost. Cameron has somehow gotten used to it and couldn't kick the habit, "Now don't give me that look we had a deal."

"We didn't!" She objected, tone remaining subtle.

"But we agreed!"

"Reluctantly," She countered to John's surprise.

John sighed, pretending to be disappointed, "If you really don't want to then-"

"That one," Cameron interrupted, leaving his embrace and rushing to a rack of bikinis. John grinned, knowing that trick of being disappointed always worked. One thing about Cameron is she cares too much for John who somehow takes advantage of that but repays her for her effort afterwards.

John followed her and stared down at the light blue set of bikini which Cameron picked out. He admitted it is cute and fitted her. Smiling, John nodded to Cameron. She made a quick scan and picked a size off the rack, heading for the counter. John picked up a swimming pant on the way to there.

They made their payment and went to their car. As John walked along side Cameron, he thought, what a day…at least I'm not lying to her anymore but will it ever be alright, after I hurt her that way?

To be continued…

Next chapter: John and Cameron are going swimming! As John teaches Cameron how to swim, she began to think about her past or rather, their past/future (Time travel screws with your head). Later, she decides to bring John someplace she had kept from him all this time.