Thanks to those who read/reviewed! Really thanks so much, you really keep me writing at my best!
mshig11: Thanks, I was hoping the pacing would be good. All I can say about whether Cameron and John can get pass that is….John might feel guilty here and there and you would noticed he treat her doubly good, partially guilt but mostly love. For Cameron, you'll have to read but there would be something big coming up for the young couple to keep their mind off this. Thanks!
Zrakien: Thanks! I'm happy too that Cameron had her memories back. And yeah, you got that. I wanted them to give the impression that although they know it'll be difficult, they'll be together because they love each other so…that's mainly the main thing of this story and the show: Love. Thanks and I'm glad you're enjoying it!
zahnfan23: Yes, clearing the air is good and now, after the clearing, it's time for some fun and it's all in this chapter.
jojobevco: Thanks and yes, the TDE scene in not really early on but it's in the last few chapters of Double Metal: My first piece. You are highly recommended to read it. I get more positive reviews in that than in Falling in the Black ('thanks' to Riley!) So I really wish you could read that.
Dc: Yup and here's the update! It's alright if the reviews are the same. Just write what you want or just leave me a small note if it's good or bad. (Don't hesitate about pointing out bad stuff, I can improve on them). Thanks so much!
kaotic2: Thanks and here it is, hope it isn't classified as later .
TK-MR: Thanks! And yes, Lols! And it's not really a 'deed' now if it? Lols. Thanks so much for the laugh and the review!
Cptlatnok: Wow, I'm really glad you enjoyed the false reality, just like John and Cameron did! . Thanks! Though I really hope others would find the good part of this portrayal too! Yes, emotional and rollercoaster- ish but I don't know about angst because both of them are just happy to be together! Thanks so much!
Last chapter: Cameron got back her memories in a long sleep and John was kept in the dark about it. It wasn't long before he noticed the different and decided to confess, mistaking Cameron's questions. He thought she wanted the truth. They spent some time together, making the decision to stay together despite the heartbreak Cameron had bear with before.
Chapter 13: One Secret
His heartbeat could be heard in his ears. He was getting more and more anxious as each second passed.
"Cameron?!" John shouted, hoping he'll be able to keep his head in control.
No Answer.
"Cameron! Are you done?" He shouted again, hearing his calls echoed around.
"I'll be right out!" Cameron replied, voice tight and strained, something new John couldn't put a name to. He stood anxiously outside the female toilet, feeling relieved when Cameron suggested for them to change in a public toilet this time. He was glad he didn't have to keep an eye on his hormones this time.
John Connor stood outside the ladies in only his swim shorts which are kind of loose. He was topless and the cool air chilled him right down to the bone. In his right hand, he held his clothes and his left supported him on the wall, used to balance when he peeped into the ladies, praying no one would see him doing this but his fiancé is in there somewhere, taking an awfully long time. She hadn't replied him when he called the first couple of time.
John know she regained her memories but still can't help but worry; if she'd run off or if something was to happen because John know he'll never be able to live with it again. He couldn't help but notice that when Cameron lost her memories and regain them again, some of her confidence got left behind. She isn't the bold and outspoken Cameron anymore but is still the sweet, loving and caring one he adored.
Finally his fiancé decides to step out. John felt the color in his cheeks rise as his sea green eye scanned her dressing. John couldn't decide if the bikini was too revealing or his fiancé is just plain beautiful with anything she wore.
However, Cameron seems to look embarrassed too. A light blush showed as plain as day on her cheeks. John blinked and decides to toughen up. He approached her, taking her hand in his gently. She looked up at him and gave him a forced smile.
"What'd wrong Cam? You look great." John grinned, trying to make her feel better and not make himself look like a complete idiot, "Trust me. You do. Have more confidence in yourself, please…" John wrapped his arm around her waist gently, pulling her close to him.
He looked down at Cameron and saw no improvement despite his efforts. In a last desperate attempt to help her regain her confidence, he held her shoulder and turned her to face him.
Cameron rested her slender hands on his bare chest, looking at him in curiosity. John glanced around before leaning in and kissing her gently on the lips. Her lips moved in similar motion against his, melting into one.
Subconsciously, their bodies grind against each other with a fiery passion, enjoying the moment together. John then pulled away reluctantly, seeping in a grateful amount of oxygen. He gazed at Cameron as she panted lightly, smiling at him.
"Enough confidence yet?" John smirked, holding onto her hand, "come on." He smiled, guiding her to the empty swimming pool. Cameron gazed at John, wondering, just wondering what made her John changed so much…just because of one bullet in her head?
The sky was getting dark as the sun set.
John stared at the horizon for a while, watching the sun gradually disappear behind a tall skyscraper. But he didn't have the luxury of watching the sun set before the cool breeze sent him shivering. Beside him, Cameron trembled as goosebumps form on her arms. The pool was empty as it was getting late, on a Sunday, people goes to work on Monday, but not the Connors.
"Into the water," John grinned cheekily. He took a short and swift cold shower by the side before leaping into the pool like a mischievous teenager, after glancing around and finding the lifeguard not in sight. He swam to the side of the pool where Cameron stood. Her hair was wet and thus John concluded she showered herself after him.
She squat down when John swam close.
"Come on Cam, you'll catch a cold." John said warningly.
Cameron cocked her head in a manner which made John want to grab her head and kiss her so badly, "Unlikely." She stated gently before reaching out to John. Her smooth fingers went to his face and wiped the chlorinated water away from his eyes. John smiled, shaking his head from side to side vigorously, feeling the water in his hair shower droplets of them all over Cameron.
Cameron smiled, her hand proceeding up to John's hair, running her fingers through his dark hair. They are starting to grow longer and longer despite his massive cutover on his sixteenth birthday. He stood there, watching Cameron as she fiddled with his hair lovingly.
"Cam, come on. Nothing's going to happen, I'll be right here beside you." John cooed, taking her hand which is in contact with his soaked hair. He slowly guided her into the water. She was unnaturally quiet. She began her descend into the water with John having hold of both her hands.
Soon, she was submerged in the swimming pool up to her chest. John bent his knees to be submerged to his neck and urged Cameron to do the same. She did and John can only grin like a fool as he watched Cameron, soaked and beautiful.
He leaned in and kissed her forehead, "I'll teach you how to swim." He mumbled into her forehead.
John felt Cameron's pang of fear strike her right down to his bone as it must've did to her endo. However, Cameron didn't protest or find any thing to avoid it, she went along with John. Slowly, he guided her to float on the surface of the water. Cameron felt the water rippled as she floated pass. The darkening sky was beautiful as she gazed up at it.
John looked down at Cameron as she relaxed, putting her complete faith into John, the man she loved and admire all her life, since she was born. Cameron could sparsely remember her curiosity kicking in when Skynet first sent John's photo to her database, though it wasn't intense and barely noticeable. She didn't know she was feeling curious back then until now, where she recognized emotions as a part of her.
Cameron could not tell how much she wished to meet John Connor since the day she saw him in a photo, stoic, calm, strong, brave and most importantly, a leader.
She wanted to meet him more than she wanted the skin to cover her endo, before she had a name 'Cameron' - She was all numbers and code back then, coltan not flesh, no Cameron – that's how much she can't wait just to stand before John Connor.
But as Cameron mixed with the humans in the base after killing Allison Young and stealing her face, she found out what a legend John Connor is. She has got to meet this legend. Cameron spent the time blending in with the humans to structure up a steady plan before she acted.
In the day, she walked around like a regular hot girl in the resistance while mentally preparing her plan. In the night, she'd conjured John's picture up on her HUD and look at it all night in her cot.
One afternoon, she caught John Connor alone and acted on her mission.
She fought him, not having a weapon at that time as it was an untimely attack. She hadn't expected to see him alone but it was the best time to strike so Cameron did, regardless of the fact she didn't have a weapon.
She had him down with her weight a few times but his strength, his agility was on par with a terminator's.
She fell back as the tip of the electric wire touched her body and send them into her CPU. Cameron noticed he didn't draw his plasma rifle on his waist to fight against her. He used physical strength and wits to win. Two things Cameron herself had but still loss. She fell backwards and was stopped when pair of strong arms caught her before she could strike the floor.
Her blank eyes looked up and saw the face of John Connor up close. His battle hardened eyes strike her processors so strongly. The scars on his face build an air of leadership and bravery around him. Then and there, did Cameron, a machine created by Skynet, had a taste of being inspired to fight under John Connor. A taste of what made him such an admirable and respectable leader; what made his soldiers so loyal to him.
Cameron stared at him in a silent awe. After so many nights of admiring his picture on her database, she met him; the legend, John Connor.
He placed her head gently on his muscled thighs as he settled on the floor. She wanted then and there to reach up and touch him, feel his scars but the power overload had paralyzed her body.
"What's your name?" She heard his voice – for the first time – matured, dependable, and deep but gentle. She couldn't speak. Cameron couldn't control anything of her body now. Not even her eyes as they stared blankly ahead. "I know you can hear me. Tell me that when you wake up and yes, you'll be waking up, soon. Promise."
She knew right then when her world turned black as her 'brain' –one that admire John Connor so much- was pulled out of her head, there was no shame in failing to kill the legend, no shame in losing to John Connor.
Her last thought was of why Skynet couldn't see that? That it wasn't ashamed to lose to John Connor? That this war was pointless; that the humans already won the moment John Connor stepped up to lead mankind.
John supported the small of her back gently as well as the back of her neck to keep her afloat.
When Cameron got used to the water, John began to teach her the strokes. She watched with amazement as John, her John swam through the water at record time. He emerged above the water surface, bursting out panting for breath. John grinned foolishly at Cameron, who smiled, almost in pride.
"Come on. Try it; I know you can do it." John smiled, cupping her left cheek to face him, "I just know it." Cameron stared blankly at him before nodding tentatively. Slowly, John held her while she tried to apply her strokes she learnt to propel herself through the water.
John guided her along. He was an amazing teacher but his touch to her bare skin made her tingle with somewhat excitement and wants. She had no idea when did that come about nor what made her react like that.
John noticed it too. Her smooth skin seemed to tremble under his fingers. John smiled to himself when she was not looking.
The lesson continued and Cameron, who didn't want to disappoint John, put in all her 'heart' into completing this 'mission'. Cameron found keeping afloat while she swam the most difficult part. John told her it was due to her nervousness affecting her ability to float but she wasn't convinced. She was positive it was the weight of her endo-skeleton.
John sensed her disappointment. He watched in a daze as Cameron stood beside him, panting slightly, pouting at the water even. She frowned as she stared across the water, trying to figure out how to swim.
John looked at her. Cameron may not know why John wanted her to learn swimming, why he was so persistent about it. He didn't intend to tell her or it would defeat the purpose of teaching her.
One of the reasons was for a quick escape from terminators but also, he didn't want her to feel different from them, the humans when she see them have so much fun in a pool. He wasn't sure if they would see people swimming and having loads of fun but he do know, if one day, they met some people at the beach, she'll be sour with jealousy and somewhat hate herself for who she is.
Having a disability because of what she is- no, who she is- would only hurt her and remind her how different she is.
Don't give up Cameron. You can do it. John looked hopefully at Cameron. He touched her shoulder and flinched at how cold she was.
"Cameron. Let's go home. You're freezing!" John yelped, alarmed. He made a move to leave the pool but Cameron wouldn't budge.
"No." Cameron replied stubbornly.
"What?!" John gaped in disbelief, she was disobeying him and defiantly nonetheless!
"I would complete this John, I can do this!" Cameron said tightly. He could see her clenching her fist in the water.
"Complete?! Cam, this isn't a mission. This is just a hope from me! Not a mission. It's not important!" John said in disbelief.
"Your hopes are important," Cameron mumbled, "I won't let you down." She added before swimming off. John sighed in defeat, watching as Cameron swam off, always unable to keep afloat long enough to complete a lap.
"Cameron…" John growled softly to himself. Now…I regret teaching her to swim. Cameron is afraid of swimming for god's sake! How can she learn how to-
He frowned in worry as Cameron waded to the side of the pool. Leaning over, she threw up into the drainage.
"Cameron." She said as she sat up. Cameron noticed she was sleeping on a soft bed, made from cotton stuffed in cloth. From the strong scent she detected from the bed and comparing it with John Connor, she concluded, this is his private quarters and she is currently occupying his bed. John knelt down beside her.
"What's your mission?" He asked. She stared blankly and wide eyed at him as Cameron checked her mission protocols.
"I don't have one."
"Good." John stood up and walked to his table, leaving her there. Cameron stood up and followed him.
"Why didn't you terminate me?" Cameron asked monotonously.
"You are different from the others aren't you? Special? Somehow?" John whipped around to face her.
"I'm a TOK-715-"
"No, I said different." John cut in.
"I'm the most advanced infiltrator."
"No, different." John said again. She cocked her head. John sighed, "I saw something in your eyes when we fought, that's why I didn't pull out my plasma, that's why you're still here, that's why people don't know you're an infiltrator, that's why people think I'm carrying Young to my quarters for a good night in. You're different."
"Allison Young is dead." Cameron replied bluntly.
"I know," He nodded, face stoic and calm. This was not what Cameron expected. She thought the moment she burst the truth out; he'd fall to his knees and cry hysterically, grieving for his lover. There was a rumor of John Connor having sex with Allison Young before, that's why she was chosen because she gave her virginity to him. However, his lack of reaction made Cameron doubt their information.
John didn't speak but stood there gazing into her eyes. She looked back at him blankly.
"What's my mission?" Cameron asked, breaking the silence.
"Stay with me." He grunted. They stood there for a long while. Suddenly, John Connor burst into tears for the first time since the war. He cried out in distress and sadness, leaning into Cameron's arms as they settled on the cot.
She watched as he sobbed into her lap. She caressed the back of his head gently like how she has seen the people done it to their love ones. John grasped at her jumper helplessly while he cried. Tilting her head to the left a little, Cameron leaned in and kissed him on the temple.
It was the first time, John cried at all since his mother died which was more than ten years ago.
It was also the first time Cameron seen a hero cry. Her hero bursting into tears and crumbling before her but she didn't mind that, her hero was human and that's what's making him so special.
"Cameron!" John called anxiously, swimming over. He burst out of the water beside her and placed his hand on her back as she leaned over and threw up. John watched, wincing as she coughed. It took a while before Cameron is done and relaxed, almost looking relief. He helped her out of the pool gently, drying her up and wrapping her in the towel provided by the club.
"John, it's cold. You-" She attempted to reject the towel but John tightened his grip around her shoulders, preventing her from removing it.
"Yes. It is cold, that's why you have it." John smiled. They stood by the pool as John dried himself after helping Cameron dry up. They pulled on their clothes over their swimming costumes, "Are you feeling better?" John asked, concerned. Other than the time Cameron got upset with him, John had never seen her throw up before.
"I'm fine." Cameron choked out, her throat parched and dry.
"What happened? Are you feeling alright?" John wrapped his arms around her petite frame, pulling her close to him.
"I'm fine, John!" Cameron smiled, sounding amused.
John was not convinced. He pushed Cameron's head to rest on his chest while he rested the side of his face on top of her head.
"Nothing must happen to you. I need you." John said firmly.
"I know." Was all she said before they walked hand in hand to the jeep. John climbed into the seat and ignited the engine.
"Let's go home," John smiled, leaning over in his seat to give Cameron a light peck on her cheek.
"Later, John. I have to show you something." Cameron turned to him and smiled. John frowned. For a long moment, the jeep was engulfed in a pregnant silence.
"Drive."
* (A while later)
John's shoes treaded in the muddy soil grouchily. The squishing sound made his food come back up. "What, what the hell is this place?" Looking up at his fiancé who is walking stiffly again, like a machine, though the mud. Her boots were definitely much efficient than his shoes.
"Look there John…" Cameron pointed forward with a long slender finger. John followed the direction and almost jumped out of his skin. In front to of him, in the dark, sat tombstones, many but right in front of him:
KYLE REESE
No Fate but What We Make
A father, a protector, a brother
John gaped; he fell forward in shock, waiting for the dreaded feeling of his face striking the mud. But he felt small and strong hands on his waist and across his chest to hold him up. "C-Cameron, this-" His eyes went to the tombstone beside it.
RYAN JAMES KEANE
No Fate but What We Make
A Protector, a Friend, A soldier
"Ryan…" John stared in shock and almost guilt, "I'm so sorry." He mumbled, "Cameron? This…all this?"
"I made Ryan's grave beside Kyle. They are both soldier…they died protecting someone else. Kyle died protecting Sarah and-" Cameron paused, "fathered you." She gave him a faint smile.
"How'd you know? Kyle Reese…my father…" John asked, feeling it hard to breathe. He'd never asked his mom about Kyle Reese and neither did she tell him where he was buried.
"It was easy, Future John, Future you."
"Heh, I should've known right. I'm sorry." John chuckled bitterly.
"For what?" Cameron came over, holding his shoulder gently.
"For keeping this from you." John turned to her.
"I understand. It's alright. And you didn't keep it from me entirely." She smirked slyly.
"The tomb," John spoke, "Dad's."
"Sarah Connor made his tombstone but she don't have his ashes," Cameron replied, "His ashes were buried away where the other John and Jane Doe's were buried by the government. Sarah Connor thought Kyle Reese deserved a tomb with his name on it. It was a long time since she came here."
"And Ryan's?"
"I built it when you were still seeing Riley in the winter. Beside Kyle. I believe they knew each other as friends and platoon mates." Cameron replied. She walked to the tombs, pulling off the brambles and removing dried leaves and an ants' nest away from them.
"Cameron, don't. It's my duty to do this." John proceeded forward, removing Cameron's slender hand from the tombstones. He swept off the dirt off her soft hand, kissing her palm gently, "You've done enough, more than enough. Thank you. I love you." He whispered into her hand.
John reluctantly let go of her hand and proceeded to clean the tombs, eyes filled with admiration and love for the people souls who sat in these tombs. The selflessness of sacrificing themselves for the people they loved; dying all ultimately for John Connor.
Sarah was saved so that John would exist and Cameron was saved so that John would not live a dreadful and half life.
His father died for him, his friend died for him. It made him sick just to think when it'll be Cameron's turn and when it was, would he let her?
To be continued…
Cameron revealed the secret to John about the tombs but who'd know how many more are there?
Next Chapter: Two characters from John and Cameron's past life showed up at their house. Being the efficient protector that she is, Cameron immediately pulled out bags and made to take John and leave. Meanwhile, John realized that his cyborg (is she?) companion is sick and started to worry about their future. What if she were to die of cancer? Of a bullet? Or just a simple hit on her head when she fell?