Hey guys! Sorry about the wait for new chapters, but if you've read the notice on my profile, you'll know that the delay is because of my broken laptop, not to mention that new computer virus that's been going around. However, I've wanted to do this chapter for a long time, so I'm going the extra mile to get it done. Hope you enjoy!
The maniacal giggle echoed throughout the apartment. In the bedroom, one brown haired reploid shuffled sleepily in his bed, but soon lay still. The door to the room was closed, preventing most of the sound from the living room entering. With green war bands and shamrocks painted on his face, the old prankster prince of Hunter HQ resurfaced from beyond his century of slumber. Axl's fingers tapped excitedly against each other. Two beady eyes greedily took in the innumerable tools of his trade, tools previously hidden under the apartment's couch. He grinned evilly.
It was time.
A similar situation was occurring near the other end of town. The ninja reploid Phantom was preparing for one of the most sacred holidays to pranksters the world over. However, his reign of terror would be held in check by a single flaw; it was expected.
"Morning bro. How's the prep going?" asked Fefnir. Phantom sighed bitterly. A prank was nothing without the element of surprise. He'd long since given up on pranking his siblings because of that very reason. They knew all of his tricks, and foiled his every plot. Not only that, they were the only ones he used to be able to prank, and without victims, a prank was nothing. As a previous general, tricking troops had been out of the question, and superiors… no way in hell. But because his siblings were so used to him, it wasn't fun anymore. And he still didn't have a job, so no coworker casualties, either.
"As well as it can, Fef. But I don't know why I bother, really. I've got no one to prank," he replied sadly. Fefnir scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"Y'know, the people around the Guardian HQ seem pretty serious about holidays. Maybe you could go there?" he mused to his sibling.
Phantom looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and caution, "Perhaps… What makes you suggest that?"
"Yer just so darned pathetic looking when you can't prank people. It's starting to look like the old you!" he chortled. Phantom's response was a well-aimed pillow. It landed on his tormentor's face with a nice whump. Fefnir quickly retrieved the offensive object from his features, threw, and a good natured pillow fight ensued.
After five minutes, both of the bedtime generals stopped their fluffy troops' advances and called a truce. Phantom grinned over at his brother.
"Thanks Fef, I needed that."
"No prob bro," Fefnir smirked in response. "You haven't looked that serious since the whole Neo Arcadian War thing, and it was starting to get me down, too."
"So you solved my problem by instigating a pillow war. Sheesh man, what is it with you and fighting?"
"Dunno, but it works, doesn't it?" he grinned sheepishly. Than he looked over at the ripped pillow he was still holding, "Oh no, we have a casualty! Lack a day, this poor pillow has suffered a fate worse than death, to have been slain while defending my poor ole' brother's soul from wallowing despair and a face that'd make a baby cry. At least, poor pillow number, er, four, your sacrifice was not in vain!" he wailed and posed theatrically. Phantom was in a fit, guffawing loudly.
"My face bad? Yours could break a mirror from a hundred miles away!" he barked. Fefnir looked comically aghast at his brother's statement, causing Phantom to laugh even harder.
"Is that really how you treat a handsome lad like me? After I told you where to find some hapless victims? Merciless cad!" pouted Fefnir sarcastically.
"Yeah yeah, stuff it and let's go get some breakfast," the ninja responded, "because I'm going to need a good feed to fuel today's conquest!"
"Sure. Better the soldiers than me," Fef smiled. The two left for the kitchen.
X X X X X
Shadows danced playfully on the wall of the bedroom. Gentle breezes gusted around the leaves of the trees in the Guardian bases' garden, stirring birds from their rest. The avian musicians struck up their unique chords as the sun chased the darkness of night farther across the sky, shepherding it somewhere beyond the horizon.
With a yawn, the youthful leader of the guardians shifted from her bed, rubbing her eyes sleepily to banish the tiredness threatening to close them again. She got up, heading for her bathroom. After a quick shower, she dried off and dressed into one of her usual work outfits, brushing her hair carefully before and after putting on the protective helmet. A quick stop at her personal coffee machine later, she was off to the lab.
Cerveau, his own mug full of hot caffeinated goodness, watched as she entered. They nodded to each other as they started up whatever machinery was turned off during the night. When they were finished, Ciel took a particularly long sip of coffee as she sat down.
Prrrrrrrrrttt…
Ciel, still with the mug to her mouth, blushed a bright crimson. Cerveau glanced over with a priceless expression of astonishment.
With a large gulp, Ciel swallowed down her very warm drink, burning her mouth slightly, "It wasn't me!" she protested shrilly.
Cerveau blinked, then smiled knowingly, "Ah, I see… look what's here." He walked over calmly, leaning down somewhat. With a quick tug, he pulled out a whoopie cushion from under her seat, "Here's the culprit."
Ciel's blush deadened considerably with the revelation, glad that Cerveau's power of observation had cleared her name. "I wonder who did that?"
"One of the soldiers, probably. It is April Fool's day today, if that calendar is correct," he explained, pointing over to the paper book on the laboratory wall.
Ciel looked slightly startled, "Oh, it is? I'd better go get some green on!" She got up swiftly, racing back to her room. Along the way, she noticed a few of the early-to-rise soldiers had also become victims of some sort of prank. Blushing, stumbling, or attempting to dry off wet spots, they were more concerned with their own affairs than Ciel's passing. She even passed one who was having problems navigating due to a wet bucket covering his head and soaked shoulders…
At her room, she quickly tied a shamrock ribbon on to one of her bangs, then returned to the hall. As an afterthought, she locked her room. Walking back towards the lab, she realized that she had probably been one of the luckier prank victims. It seemed that whoever was doing the pranks, whether a well organized group or extremely determined individual, was doing a rather good job of it. Just as she reached the lab, a short screech came from back in the corridor.
"Alright, who did that, show yourself!" roared an unfortunate soldier, now thoroughly covered in white flour. His goggles were too liberally dusted for him to see where he was going, which resulted in a collision with a panicked rookie.
"Ghost!" screamed the rookie, and by some random fluke of the universe, both the rookie and the "ghost" ran in opposite directions, straight into walls. Two people shaped flour patterns were left on the obstacles as the soldiers fell to the ground.
"Oh dear…" muttered Ciel as she watched them get back up. As she opened the door to the lab, she began to wonder if leaving Cerveau alone to "hold the fort" had been a wise choice. Her fears were proved false as she entered the lab and nothing had changed since her leaving it.
"You're still safe in here?" Ciel asked anxiously. Cerveau turned to look at her questioningly.
"Yes, I'm fine. What's the matter?" he inquired.
Ciel peered around the room cautiously as she answered, reassuring herself that she was safe, "Well, there seems to be a prankster on the loose outside. And a worse one than usual, too. I'm just glad they haven't come in here yet."
"It is a lab. Foolery in here could result in some serious damage or injury to someone." he pointed out.
"True. At least our prankster is a responsible one… if you can call them that," Ciel noted. Cerveau nodded in agreement. After checking a few more systems with him, she left to go see how Zero was doing. The legendary red hero had started to fall into the habit of sleeping in, so it wasn't a foreign chore for her to go check up on him.
It didn't take long for her to get there. The chaos around the base was slowly but surely on the rise, so Ciel was forced to duck and dodge traps more than once to get to her target unscathed. As soon as she arrived at the red reploid's room, she began knocking on the door. Even as Zero opened the portal to his sleeping quarters, she kept up a constant vigil to her surroundings.
"Mmeh? What's up?" He asked sleepily, covering his mouth as he yawned loudly.
"You were sleeping in again, Zero. I came to wake you up, there's something going on around here and I wanted to warn you," she explained. Zero's eyes shot wide open.
"Something's up? I'll be ready right away, give me a sec'!" he gibbered. He shot back into his room, closing the door behind him. Not two minutes later he reappeared wearing his armor, fully alert, "Just tell me what's wrong, I'll fix it."
"No need to worry like that, Zero, nothing's going on around here. Except the rampant pranksters, anyways," Ciel said. Zero's face took on a blank look for a few seconds before horror quickly overtook it.
"P… Pranksters? Wait a minute, it isn't April Fool's Day, is it?" he asked worriedly. Ciel nodded, causing Zero to groan, "Oh, no, not again… Ciel, you haven't seen Axl, have you?"
"Uh, no, why do you ask?" she pondered, confused.
"Good, maybe that means he isn't here… But if you do see him, run like hell. April Fool's Day is his favourite holiday, and, believe it or not, he takes it seriously."
"Axl, serious? I don't know him as well as you do, but I've never seen him serious before," Ciel pointed out, "he always struck me as the adolescent, devil-may-care type, not a grim and goal-driven person."
Zero frowned, "Well, as rare as it is, Axl can get serious. And trust me, if he gets intent on anything, he's a reploid to fear," explained a very worried looking Zero. Ciel was taken back by Zero's somber tone, but she trusted his judgment and his word.
"So we need to avoid Axl. Fair enough, but what should we do now?"
"For now, do as you usually do. If he's here, he'll probably be less inclined to target you since you run the base. I've got a pact with him that disallows him to target me as long as I don't mention a certain thing to anyone else, so I'm safe too. Just be on the lookout for non-specific traps and you'll be fine," Zero advised. Ciel took the information to heart.
"Thanks a bunch, Zero. I'll be careful. Heh, good thing Phantom isn't here either, I'd bet he and Axl would have a riot together."
"Heaven help us if they did…" Zero moaned despairingly. Ciel giggled. Just then, a monotone announcement came over the intercom.
"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT ANY AND ALL PRANK ATTEMPTS TODAY WILL BE ACCEPTED IN THE NAME OF THE HOLIDAY, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WITHIN THE SAFETY AND VANDALISM BOUNDARIES AS STATED IN THE GUARDIAN RULEBOOK. ALSO, WILL DOREN PLEASE GO TO THE CAFETERIA AND CIEL TO THE LABORATORY. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY!"
"What do they need me at the lab for?" Ciel wondered. Zero shrugged. They went towards the lab, helping a female soldier solve a problem related to the "kick-me" sign on her back along the way. However, the moment they arrived, they were hailed.
"Zero! Ciel! How've you been, long time no see!" yelled a familiar voice happily. Fefnir stood just outside the door to the lab, giving them a wide smile, "It must have been as dull as dishwater around here without us around, no?"
"Not today it hasn't," Ciel grinned back. Zero smacked his forehead while rolling his eyes.
"Should've known-"
"Aww, why the negativity? We just came to ask if we could hang out for a while!" Fefnir whimpered jokingly. Phantom and Cerveau, who had been having a conversation about something in the background, broke up their chat to come greet the pair.
"You're here, Ciel! That's great. As Fefnir just conveniently informed you, he and Phantom were hoping for some time around base, to relax a bit I think," he said.
"Nah, actually, we just came here to cause some friendly hell," Fefnir cut in.
"Although it appears that we were beaten to it," Phantom admitted grudgingly, "not that that will stop me totally, if we are allowed to stay."
"Well, all visitors are welcome here. Just stay within reasonable boundaries, alright?" Ciel responded. Both of the former generals thanked her heartily. Zero, however, seemed to be the polar opposite of Ciel's friendliness.
"If anything, or anyone, gets so much as a scratch around here, I'm coming to you two, got it?"
"Yessir Mr. Red-and-old," Fefnir taunted. He recoiled swiftly as Zero gave him a murderous glare that would have made his father proud.
"Zero, quit being such a party pooper and relax already! It's just a holiday!" Ciel reprimanded, "I don't care how much you're worried about Axl, it doesn't give you the right to take it out on our guests!"
"Fine… I'm off to rescue the recruits from whatever traps they're in," Zero sighed. "And remember what I said Ciel, if you see Axl, run. No ifs ands or buts." With that, Zero left off towards the cafeteria, his eyes scanning the halls like bombs were set throughout them.
"Sometimes that guy acts like such a moldy old boot, hey bro?" Fefnir chortled to his sibling. Phantom and Ciel nodded in agreement. Cerveau turned to return to his lab, but not without leaving a comment of his own.
"He may be pretty stern at times, but he's always had his reasons for that, right? So if he says that we should run upon seeing Axl, it's likely good advice to follow."
"True…" Ciel agreed. The door to the lab closed as the three outside of it decided to go their own ways.
"Well, we're off to cause some mischief. Thanks again Ciel!" Phantom chimed. She nodded and headed towards the command room while the generals went the opposite way.
"So bro, where are we gonna start?" asked Fefnir.
Phantom reached into one of the small bags around his hip (which was on his prankster/ninja utility belt). He pulled out a small jar of transparent grease, kneeling down in front of the door across the hall.
"Right here."
It wasn't too long before the brothers had covered several of the hallways in a gauntlet of practical jokes and booby traps. Greased floors, motion-activated hanging spiders, fake pet piles, and some bucket-over-the-doors (which were somewhat difficult to do because the doors were sliding ones, but was nevertheless done anyways) were around every turn. There were even a couple of invisible trip-wires, placed strategically to cause people to fall tail over teakettle and yet not know how it happened. Phantom and Fefnir had, of course, come across some well placed traps of someone else's and had to disarm them to pass. The ninja, who had only barely escaped the effects of several of them, admired their expertise and placement. Fefnir wasn't nearly as much of a fan. His method of "disarming" a trap wasn't even close to as elegant as Phantom's, resulting in him almost always walking straight into them.
Fefnir grunted unhappily as, for the umpteenth time, he was doused by a large load of water. "Pfftht! Darnit, how the hell do so many of those damn dumper traps get set up? I swear, if I'd known this would be what it was like coming here, I would have brought a swimsuit!"
"Better the dumper trap than this powder one," Phantom consoled, gently holding a delicate bag of flour. It had been attached to the ceiling along with a motion sensing "bag ripper" (a knife on a lever). Obviously, a simple, homemade design, but as Phantom deactivated the sensor, he marveled at the effectiveness. Fefnir looked around the empty hallway, glad that no one was around to witness his sopping state.
"Oh well, time to move on," he mumbled. Suddenly a youthful voice piped up happily from behind the pair, causing them to whirl in surprise.
"SENSEI!" squealed Axl gleefully. He was on the far side of the hall, rapidly running towards them to reach his teacher. Fefnir looked worried at seeing the navy terror and his painted face, but Phantom patted him on his back comfortingly.
"Don't worry Fef, I know Zero's scared of him, but I know something that he doesn't," he smirked.
"What's that?"
"Axl is headed straight for the tripwire we set earlier."
Fefnir's frown disappeared almost instantly. As he and Phantom watched Axl sprint up to greet them, he even waved casually. Axl waved back. When he got within a few feet of the trip line (and about ten feet from them), the pair even dared to grin widely. Smiling back innocently, Axl seemed to be completely unaware that he was headed right into the ninja's trap. Then out of the blue, he jumped gracefully over the wire, somersaulted along the ground, and popped up right in front of them, grinning as widely as they had been but moments before. Their own smiles, in contrast, had decided to vacate quite rapidly.
"Hiya!" Axl peeped happily. A dark green bag of Axl's untold plots hung tauntingly on his back, threatening the pair with mysterious terrors via its bulging mass. Phantom recovered from his astonishment and replied.
"Hello, Axl. I can see that you're doing some off-time, um, training."
"You bet!" cheered the prankster prince, "I was stuck in the desert for the last century, so I've got a lot of catching up to do as well! It's my big debut, number two!"
"Number two?" Fefnir questioned. His tone implied that he was almost afraid to know.
"Yessirree! Number two! My first time was way back when I was a new maverick hunter, when I had Zero's help. Honestly, the way he acts these days makes you think he regrets it, but I'm sure he's just having fun, and anyways, this time I'm doing it all by myself, no help from anyone! Just me! And boy, do I have some stuff planned!" he babbled.
"Yes, yes, fine, go ahead and have fun. Just as long as you remember who the real expert prankster is around here, all right?" Phantom chided.
Axl stopped his hysterically happy tirade instantly, bowing stiffly and quickly and still grinning away. "Yes Sensei, of course! I'll never forget who the real prankster around here is!" he said respectfully.
"ME!" sang two voices simultaneously. Silence suddenly gripped the hall. The two posing people in the hall glared at each other.
"I thought you said you wouldn't forget who the real master prankster is," Phantom growled.
"Of course I did! I'm the best!" Axl steamed.
"Are not, I've got more experience."
"Are too, I'm over a century old, duh!"
"Are not, spent that time in the desert."
"Are too, I still remember every bit of my time at the old Hunter HQ!"
"Are not."
"Are too!"
"Are not."
"Are too!"
"ARE NOT."
"ARE TOO!"
"Whoa! Hold it you two, let go of each other's throats for a minute and hear me out!" Fenir yelled. The two pranksters quit bickering and peered over intently at Fefnir, their gazes harsh from being interrupted. "What you guys need to do is chill! I know it sounds strange coming from me, but there are better ways of figuring out who's the better prankster without it ending up a fight over who's the better brawler! Last thing we need on April's Fools Day is a couple of April fools bashing each other's brains out!" pleaded the fire general.
"You've got a point there, bro… but how else can we settle this?" Phantom inquired.
They all rubbed their chins for a minute, contemplating the choices. Axl spontaneously jerked up, holding his hand up like a schoolchild wanting to be picked. "Ooh, ooh, I've got an idea! A really really great idea! Why don't we have a contest?"
"That is a good idea!" Phantom exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "But what are the rules?" he asked.
"Anything goes as long as it won't hurt too much, no switching change room signs, bathroom ones okay, whoever gets pranked by the other more times loses, pedestrians don't count for anything, we start right now!" Axl cried gleefully. In a flash he was off, racing back the way he came. Phantom quickly followed his lead, but went in the opposite direction to his apprentice. Fefnir was left behind to scratch his head as the two set to the heated competition beyond two different corners of the hall.
As Fefnir still looked dumbly at the two directions his friends had set off in, Zero appeared from one of them, rubbing his shoulder. "Hey Fefnir, what's going on with your brother? He came tearing around the corner and hit me right in the side. Is there something up that I should know about?"
"Nah, not really… he got into a prank contest with Axl, that's all…" Fefnir replied absent-mindedly.
"Please, please tell me that you're joking…" Zero whimpered. Fefnir jerked his gaze over to the red hero, not understanding quite what was going on and stunned at Zero's mewling tone at the same time. The honest confusion in his face assured Zero that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to have lied.
"Oh no. Oh hell no. Which way did Axl go, quick?" he demanded. Fefnir pointed, and Zero ran after Axl to try and stop whatever damage he would do.
WHAM!
Fefnir looked even more stunned at Zero's graceless maneuver. His foot was still draped over the tripwire, and when he moved his head up, Fefnir could see his nose was trickling a small river of red from where he'd fallen flat on his face. Zero's eyes stayed shadowed for a moment, then-
"AAAXXXXUUUUULLL!"
Fefnir was very glad that he wasn't Axl.
Exactly one hour later, the base was pure chaos.
Several panicked rookies ran here and there, attempting to find a safe place to hide. Veterans huddled in groups and every step they took was calculated the same way as in a warzone. Sprung, unsprung, and indistinguishable traps littered the corridors and rooms of the base, causing anyone to see them to flinch away, possibly into another trap. At random intervals throughout the HQ, small groups of soldiers, deemed at this point the "bucket-head brigade", sat at the sides of the halls waving white flags. The rare children in the base ran around screaming out of pure joy or terror as cyber elves whisked around laughing, squealing, or in one particular tunnel of a place, getting caught in a road block style net.
Zero, for the umpteenth time that day, tried to escape by a window. It was, as were all the others, blocked. Two soldiers behind him battled each other with water guns as they passed the room, only to trip onto a wet tarp and rocket down some stairs on their backs. Zero growled, hitting the window one last time to show his disproval of it, then turned and began searching for another way out. Again.
If one thing could be said about the competition, it was this; you either loved it or hated it. With it, all the order of the base (except in the lab) had deteriorated. Young and old alike had either forgotten themselves in the riot of fun, or, like the soldier that just fell from the ceiling above Zero, ran around screaming their heads off.
Zero shoved the soldier off, setting out to looking for another possible escape route. The soldier noticed who his landing pad was and followed. Apparently, he hoped that being in the red hero's presence would save him from some of the grief around the base. Not likely, thought Zero.
As he traversed the dangerous halls, Zero's instinctual combat skills became invaluable for finding and dodging traps. The soldier behind him followed his lead as he jumped, rolled and tiptoed past active traps. Another soldier saw them and followed, as did the rest of the group of veterans he was with. Soon Zero had a whole escort of soldiers behind him as he scanned the halls for ways out, or more danger. Alas, most windows and doors leading out of the place were blocked, and those not blocked were severely booby-trapped or too small to get through.
It wasn't until the group was close to the main foyer of the base that anything drastic happened. Another bunch of soldiers rushed past Zero and the others, panic etched into their faces. A quick glance behind to their origin confirmed Zero's fear.
"RUN!" he yelled as the mischievous laugh of the navy prankster echoed from beyond the corridors. No one needed to be told twice, everyone raced for the front doors, their only hope of escape. Zero took one last glance behind him as Axl chased after a splinter group in a different direction. Zero dashed into the front hall at top speed, intent on escaping the crazed prankster.
The ice increased his momentum. Too late, Zero realized what the lack of pranks in the front of the HQ meant. However, his attempts at braking proved futile. All they did was further increase his despair as he fell flat on his stomach and barreled through the triangle of slipping soldiers on the center of the ice.
"Steeeee-rike!" came the gleeful commentary from Axl, who was standing and whooping with laughter on the edge of the slippery patch. Zero scowled, trying to get up and retort. His hands slid on the ice and he cracked his chin painfully. As soon as his chin stopped hurting, Zero opened his eyes to view his surroundings. His momentum was still strong, and he and the others were headed straight for-
"Oh shit."
Phantom whistled a happy little tune as he and Fefnir walked up the path to the front of the Guardian base. The grass swayed gently as leaves and buds softly coated the trees along the path they were walking. Birds trilled gleefully, some in time with the ninja.
"So Phantom, now that we've got some supplies, where are we gonna prank?"
"I'm not sure, Fefnir, where do you think?"
"I wouldn't have asked you where if I'd had any ideas myself!"
The pair continued merrily along their way until the the front door of the base was in sight. Suddenly, with a huge bang, the doors shot open and a fair sized group of hapless victims were flung out of the open orifice into bright daylight. Both Phantom and Fefnir stared with open mouths as Zero struggled up from under the pile, grimacing.
"Damn that Axl, damn that Phantom, I should take my goddamn sword and shove it up their fu-!"
He saw the pair just in time to stop whatever insult he'd been muttering. Instead, he concentrated his efforts on yelling. "There you are! Do you know what hell I've been through because of your and Axl's stupid pranking contest! You both have gone way overboard with this! You can go in there, drag Axl out here by his hair if need be, and negotiate a truce, right now! Do you hear me? I will not put up with this any longer!"
"Uh… I've been out getting supplies for the last hour…" Phantom stuttered. Fefnir nodded in agreement.
"Oh… well, go in there anyways…" Zero ended, slightly deflated. His furious energy had left him after the rant. Zero finally untangled himself from the mess of soldiers' limbs and went and sat down on the grass not far off to rest, closing his eyes and sighing immensely.
"You two started this mess, you go clean it up. I'm done with it. I give up."
Even the soldiers' eyes popped. No one ever thought that it was possible for Zero to mutter the three letter phrase "I give up". But he had. And now Fefnir and Phantom feared for their lives (or at least, their dignity).
"Uh, bro, maybe you shouldn't have challenged Axl to a pranking contest…" Fefnir gulped. Phantom moved his stare from Zero to the open door, which more soldiers were slowly (or rapidly, depending on their speed) gliding out of.
"Wait, Zero, are you really going to just dump the whole workload on us? I mean, you're the one who let us into the base!"
"That was Ciel. She's the one who let you in, and if you find her, tell her to help out too. I guess, if you need to, you can call on X to help, but good luck with that." Zero yawned. Any further conversation was cut off as Zero fell asleep, exhausted from avoiding traps. Phantom whipped out his communicator and dialed up X.
Within moments, the blue bomber answered the call. "Happy April Fool's! Who is it?"
"Hey X, it's me, Phantom. We've got a bit of a family emergency here. Mind coming over to the Guardian base?"
"Sure, I can be over in five minutes. Actually, I was heading there anyways. Axl's gone missing, pulled a prank on me and left early this morning. Have you seen him?"
"Uh, sorta, I'll fill you in when you get here."
"Sure."
As he'd said, X was at the base within a few minutes. He was wearing a simple blue shirt and jeans, with a blue helmet to match. He waved as he got off his bike, heading towards the group.
"So, what did you need me to help you with? Anything you need, just ask!" he grinned.
"Well, I kinda challenged Axl to a pranking contest, and I was wondering if you could help me out stopping it?"
"You're on your own with that one." X said. He went and flopped on the grass next to the slumbering Zero, causing more than a few dropped mouths in the group of soldiers. For once, X wasn't trying to help!
Phantom pleaded, "But, but, X! You said you'd help!"
"That was before I knew that you'd started a contest with Axl," X shot, "didn't Zero warn you about him?"
"He told us to run if we saw him," Fefnir replied. X sighed, shaking his head.
"And I see you didn't. Well, I guess there's nothing for it. I'll help. But only to rescue anyone else that's stuck in there. Dealing with Axl will be your priority, got it?" X frowned. The other two nodded in acknowledgment.
"Let's just hope he hasn't got a master plan set up," X finished.
X X X X X
The strange box rattled as Axl set it down gently on the table. The room was dark and foreboding as the prankster worked his trade. He carefully inserted seven small canisters, filled to the brim with strange powders, into the tops of each separate compartment of the box. Mischievous giggles greeted the insertion of the objects, adding to the tense atmosphere of the secluded room.
"You know what to do, right?" Axl asked the box. Small yips and ayes bounced back from within. The box, and Axl, quivered with excitement.
"This is it, you little monsters. Now remember, be careful when spreading the powder. Only little bits here and there, and don't let it touch you, alright? We don't need you guys adding yourselves to the victim's list!" he scolded lovingly. The box jiggled in response, the eager voices rose and died.
"Now, when I count to three, you cover as much ground as possible, outside too if you can. I think a rebellion is growing out there, we can't let it continue! One… two…"
Chatter, yipes, screeches of merciless happiness. It was about to begin!
"THREE! Operation Tinkerbell is a go go GO!" Axl yelled triumphantly. He yanked a string on the side, the seven compartments shot open. Like jack-in-the-boxes from hell, a cyber elf flew swiftly from each of the compartments, wearing a green numbered shirt with the canisters in a pouch on the front. As each of the snickering cyber elves left, Axl noted with satisfaction the final magnificent piece of his master prank.
1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… he allowed himself one more mighty smirk as the last one left. 8. That would keep them guessing!
X X X X X
Zero's nose twitched irritably. He scratched it, opening his eyes. Rescued soldiers were running around happily or sprawled lazily on the grass, lounging peacefully after escaping the torment of the base. He stretched, getting up slowly and gracefully from his nap. After taking quick stock of his surroundings, he saw X escort another victim, covered in pink feathers, from the maw of the warzone. The poor soldier whooped with glee and scurried over to a large makeshift pool set up outside, diving in with a splash and dousing several bystanders.
Zero continued to look around, watching with mild interest the activities of the others. As his gaze swept across the lawn, he blinked when his eyes clashed with bright rays of light from the sun. He moved his palm up to shade them and noticed, intrigued, that another light seemed to be hiding just in front of the bright orb. However, unlike the sun, this light moved. It looked similar to a small reptile and it seemed, in Zero's opinion, to be testing the direction of the wind. Zero tested too. The wind blew away from the sun, almost like it was running away from the glowing figure. Zero's instincts screamed.
"WATCH OUT!" he shouted. Everyone jumped suddenly at his warning. He ran to the side, attempting to get out of his downwind position. But it was too late.
"For da swarm!" yelled the elf. It grabbed the canister from the pouch on its stomach, shaking it roughly and sending clouds of multicoloured, shimmering powders abroad in the wind. Those who were closer to it were hit, while those who weren't tried vainly to escape. Coughing, sneezing and itching, Zero ran for cover.
It wasn't to be. Caught out in the open, the elf had them all in its sights. Now that the initial assault was over and its shaking provided only meager masses of powder, it decided to resort to dive-bombing whatever hapless person was nearest. Zero himself got a large dose of a rather ticklish bunch of powder as he dashed to a grassy hill not far off from the base. As the elf moved on to other targets, he dove, hitting the hill hard. Rolling down the side, most of the irritating powder rubbed off of him and into the long grasses that brushed his hair and skin. A few more rounds of rolling later, he cautiously raised his head to assess the damage to the rest of the soldiers. Some were still running around in a panic, one was proving a hard moving target for the elf, others had followed Zero's lead, and the rest seemed to be jockeying for a position in the soothing waters of the pool. He grimaced. The water would only soothe for so long, then it would ingrain the powder still further into their clothes and bodies. Zero had learned that from experience.
The elf, still chasing the one soldier, suddenly ran out of powder. It shook the canister vigorously a few more times then peeped with one eye into the empty container, sighed heavily, and moving back towards the base, presumably for more ammunition. Zero, still eyeing the thing greedily, noticed that it had completely forgotten him. He let the elf fly off for several seconds before giving chase. If his gut instinct was correct, it would head back straight towards Axl… and his instinct was never wrong.
Once inside, Zero once again was dodging traps left, right and center. However, he was also keeping his eye on the little reptile elf, who was zipping around corners at a leisurely pace, enjoying the show of panicked soldiers and avoiding the few traps that could catch him as well.
Just when the elf was about to round another corner, one of the base's operators, as well as a large group of followers, came screaming down the hall. With all the luck in the world, the operator somehow managed to both stay in the lead of the group and avoid every trap that the people behind her were hitting. Zero focused more at her movements, squeezing his eyes closer. No, that wasn't luck; that was practiced deception. The operator was actually avoiding the traps as if she knew where each one was, barely dodging them by millimeters as well as leading the others into them.
Zero dodged backwards, opening a broom closet and hiding behind it. The operator, oblivious to his ploy, kept on going. Just as she ran by the closet, Zero lashed out, temporarily stunning her. Within the same second, he grabbed her roughly around her collar and pulled her into the closet, slamming the door. The soldiers kept on running, unaware because of their terror.
"You can drop the act, Axl." Zero frowned. After a quick flash of light, the navy prankster stood in front of the red hero in the uncomfortably close quarters of the room.
"Aw nuts, you found me," he grinned widely.
"Do you know how much trouble you've caused with this contest of yours? Axl, what have I told you about going overboard with your pranks?" Zero barked, keeping his voice down so that outsiders wouldn't notice.
"Hey, Phantom is out there somewhere too, you can't blame all of this on m-!"
"Phantom was out getting supplies for the last hour! So I can blame this whole shebang on you, especially considering that this is all your fault!"
"Really? But…"
"No buts! You and Phantom are going to call a truce, and that is that!" Zero replied sternly.
Axl made to protest, "But we can't call a truce! Only one person can win a contest-"
"I SAID NO!" Zero roared. Axl stopped immediately, his eyes wide and fearful. It was the very rare occasion that Zero yelled, and it always meant that something terribly wrong had been done. His eyes lost their sparkle and his orange hair seemed to lose its bounce.
"Yes, Zero," he replied miserably. Axl turned his back to the red reploid, dejected, and headed slowly for the door. Zero sighed, halting the prankster by putting his hand on his shoulder.
"Look, Axl… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. But you and Phantom have to come to an agreement and stop this pranking match before someone gets hurt. Alright?"
Axl glanced behind him, his frown lightened somewhat. He nodded. Zero showed him a rare smirk and leaned close to his ear, whispering.
"Honestly though, you won this match fair and square. Even Phantom will be hard pressed to argue that!"
As Axl nodded again, harder than before, his characteristic, mischievous smile returned. Without warning, he bounded back to Zero, hugging him.
"Thanks Zero! Thanks!" he cooed. Zero blushed at the friendly contact.
"Remind me again why I put up with you."
"Because I adopted you as my big brother a long time ago and that's what big brothers do," he explained sensibly, with the perfect logic of children.
"Oh right. I remember that I had no choice in the matter, either."
"Nnn-ope!"
Zero laughed. A lighthearted, joyous laugh the likes of which he had not emitted for well over a century. "Kid, how is it that I can never stay mad at you for long? C'mon, enough of this gloomy crap, let's go out and end this prankster war."
"Aye aye!" Axl crowed. They left the broom closet to an empty hall strewn with triggered traps and no victims. Axl stepped out of the closet first, then looked around quickly. Putting two fingers into his mouth, he whistled with all his might. A piercing note echoed through the halls. Within seconds, the seven cyber elves he'd sent out appeared right in front of him, saluting their commander.
"Yes chief!"
"Here we are boss!"
"Yer called, sir?"
"Yip!"
Axl took on the mock demeanor of a drill sergeant, commanding the cyber elves with imperial gusto.
"Ten-hut soldiers! I want you to remove your gear and place it back in your cages. Then, you will go out and disarm any trap you can find. Also, number two and three, you will turn up the thermostat in the foyer to 15 degrees Celsius. Am I clear?"
"Sir yes sir!" they chorused, eyes shut tightly, feet together, and all the other necessary posture for a salute. One of them peered questioningly at its commander.
"Boss, why are we taking down the traps? Aren't we using them?"
Axl grinned, closing his eyes thoughtfully. The elves seemed entranced by this show of wisdom, the pose demanding their attention, "Because, my loyal minions, we have won! The enemy, as well as the neutral parties we caught in the crossfire, has surrendered! We have won the war! Raaahh!" Axl threw his fist into the air, gazing victoriously at his subjects. They mirrored the motion, throwing up their own appendages and cheering.
"Hurrah! Hurrah!"
"Hooray for Captain Axl! Hooray!"
"Yip! Yip! Bark bark yip!"
"Hurrah!"
They sped off, still cheering, Axl egging them on. Zero whistled lowly, impressed.
"However did you get them to follow you like that? Cyber elves are notoriously uncooperative. They'll only go along with someone if it's a game, and even then…" Zero let his sentence hang.
"Everything is a game, isn't it?" Axl replied humorously. Zero laughed and the two headed towards the front lawn, helping disarm traps along the way
They arrived on the front yard of the HQ, joking to each other about some of the victims they'd seen along the way. Abruptly they stopped as soon as they saw the others heading towards them. Ciel and Leviathan were in the lead, while the rest of the guardians tagged along behind them. Leviathan and Harpuia had come over to help.
"About time! I was worried that I'd have to send in X to rescue you, Zero!" Ciel reprimanded. Zero waved the concern of with a carefree shrug.
"Hey, there's no problem now, is there? Axl, you and Phantom negotiate who won, or at least a truce."
"No need. Axl, you've won this match and all the chips too. Your pranking prowess is surely legendary." Phantom cut in, bowing slightly to Axl. Leviathan betrayed a quick smirk. She'd obviously told him off.
Axl bowed also, "And despite not having the opportunity to see your pranking abilities, I thank you for surrendering and will look forward to when we can work together to prank the unsuspecting civilians of other areas."
The two came forward, shaking hands. Soldiers whooped with glee in the background, some scratching irritated arms and legs as they did. Leviathan bulled forward, confronting Axl.
"Say, Axl, now that that's over, did you happen to drop a large green bag filled with pranks? One of us found it as we searched for victims to help."
"Oh yeah!" Axl brightened up, the light of recognition on his face, "that's the bag with all my stuff in it! Hey Phantom, speaking of working together, maybe you and I should go terrorize the mall! That'd be fun!"
Leviathan smiled menacingly, "And ordinarily, Phantom would have agreed with you. Unfortunately for you, I predicted that. So I took some precautions. Sorry Axl, but you've had your fun for the day. Your bag is safe in my room, where you won't be able to harm anyone else today. Hey, don't look so glum, there's always next year. Besides, this is just my prank for the day, you'll get the bag back tomorrow!"
Leviathan walked off, waving. Ciel followed, while Fefnir and Harpuia, the silent observers, said nothing and followed suit. Axl stood stunned, gazing after the sea guardian as she left.
"Sorry man, I tried to sway her, but…" Phantom apologized. Axl's eyes were shaded, then he clenched his fist and grimaced.
"Nobody gets between me and my prank gear! Nobody!" he scowled, glaring at Leviathan's back as she chatted with Ciel in the distance. All the soldiers had left to help clean up the halls or relax outside on the lawn. Nobody was near the trio.
"Hey… Zero… how long has it been since you pranked anybody?" Axl asked suddenly. The tone of his voice caught both Zero and Phantom well off guard. Axl turned to his 'older brother' expectantly.
To Axl, his response was heartening. To Phantom, it was the most uncharacteristic and unexpected thing ever. Zero grinned mischievously.
"Far too long, Axl. Far too long. Sorry Phantom, but we're headed to your house. Just warning you, but tell anyone and you'll be next on our list." Zero smiled. He too glanced over at Leviathan, her back turned, and headed back to the base. "C'mon Axl, we'll take my ridechaser."
"Wait… do you mind if I come too? I owe her a trick as well," Phantom asked. Zero and Axl both looked over at each other, unsure. Then Axl nodded.
"Not at all."
The group headed inconspicuously to the garage, got on Zero's large bike, and were off without anyone the wiser. Except for X. The blue bomber watched them leave unbeknownst to everyone else.
"I'm gonna want to hear about this later, aren't I?" he asked no one in particular.
Afternoon was just arriving as the trio got off the bike. Quickly they ascended to the door. Phantom's key worked its magic in the lock as they entered swiftly into the front hall, closing the door behind them. The marble tiles gave off only small sounds as they assembled.
"Alright, we're here. Hey Phantom, mind pointing the way to Levi's room?" Zero asked. Phantom pointed up the stairs.
"Up there. She's got some decorations on her door, you can't miss it. I'm going to stay down here and prepare a couple of traps too, alright? Don't be long, she could be here at any moment. See you when it's over," he murmured. Axl and Zero dashed up the stairs as Phantom set to his task.
"Which door do you think is hers, Z- ah! That one!" Axl pointed. It was obvious by the taped on painting of a sea serpent who the owner of the room was.
"Alright, now to get in," Zero muttered. However, as the pair looked at the door, they noticed an odd looking lock mounted on it. It was a temporary affair, but the screen was high tech enough that they knew it wouldn't be easy to pass. Axl was perplexed by it, but Zero had seen it somewhere before…
"Know what it is, bro?" Axl inquired. Zero shook his head slowly, thoughtfully, then did a double take and groaned.
"No, I don't think so… Wait! Now I remember! The bloody thing is a fingerprint scanner!"
"Oh no! How are we supposed to get in now? Axl cried. Then he perked up, remembering an incident from not long ago, "Meheheh… hey Zero, remember that one time in the mall, you know, at Christmas?" he looked over cheekily at his friend.
"Remember what?" Zero asked, perplexed. Then a thought came to him and he jumped. "No you didn't… you did, didn't you? You cheeky rascal!" Zero grinned, cuffing Axl's hair playfully.
"Did what?" Zero and Axl turned around as Phantom appeared behind them at the top of the stairs. Axl looked over at Zero, concerned.
"Zero, you think… you think I should tell him?"
"You've kept the secret for a while now, but he's probably gonna freak if you don't."
"We can't get into her room if I don't…"
"It's your decision, but I won't be held responsible if you do. I can help explain if you want me to, but our deal will still hold, got it?"
"Sure, um… but still…"
"Just what the heck are you two talking about?" Phantom demanded. It was easy to tell by his face that he was terribly confused and suspicious. Axl gulped considerably, but decided on a course of action.
"Uh, sensei… you know how you told me that one time that I had to tell you about all my past experience and abilities? Or else you couldn't train me properly? Well, I kinda lied, a bit… just a little…"
"Axl, what have you been hiding?" Phantom told him sternly. Axl shuffled sheepishly under his tormenting gaze.
"Well, I didn't tell you that I had two special abilities, did I? I'm actually a prototype reploid from a long time ago… and for a good reason. First, I've got this thing called stealth mode, it lets me go invisible, see?" Axl activated stealth mode. His features changed from their normal colour, to a whitish glow, and finished completely transparent in just a few seconds. As he became opaque again, Phantom's eyes were still bugging out and he swore lightly under his breath.
"Holy shit, Axl… I mean, holy freaking shit! Invisibility…?" he shook his head, almost unbelieving except for the fact that he'd just witnessed it with his own eyes.
"That's only my stealth mode and you're shocked? Man, if I still had my copy shot-! But I got better at it and didn't need the copy shot anymore, so I got rid of it. I can still transform, though… which is my second ability." Axl replied smugly. Phantom laughed.
"Okay, the stealth mode is believable, but the ability to transform? That's impossible! It would involve being able to change your core DNA data and your physical form at the same time!" he scoffed. Axl smirked. Cutting down the distance between his and Leviathan's door, he searched through his DNA library, found Leviathan's, and used it. Even when her door was fully opened, Phantom was still staring with his mouth wide open.
"I was a prototype," Axl finished. Zero chuckled at Phantom's transfixed state.
"Believe me buddy, I wasn't much better when I found out. Hey, speaking of which, do you still have my old DNA on you? Just checking." Zero asked. Axl shrugged his head and explained that no, he didn't, because his time in the desert had wreaked havoc on his DNA library. They entered Leviathan's room. Phantom shook himself from his stupor and followed.
As they entered, they saw the green bag on her bed. Snooping around carefully for anything harmful, Axl tip-toed over to it, picked it up, and began rifling through it.
"Okay, everything's here!" he called when he was finished. He took out some pranks, set them up, and left the room (after placing a bucket over the door, of course). The other two followed, and after setting the lock back up, Axl un-transformed as they headed out into the backyard. Once in the yard, they took up positions where they would be able to hear their victim, but not be seen.
Axl giggled, "And now we wait."
For thirty minutes, nothing happened. The prankster trio sat, still waiting, as tense peace fell over the house and them. Birds trilled despite the presence of the three reploids, content to sing the day away with no concern for any world but theirs. The sun peeked curiously over a bank of clouds as the time wore on.
The silence was broken as Axl's stomach growled. Zero and Phantom looked over at him, remembering their own starving stomachs. Axl rooted around in his bag and brought out a small pile of sandwiches, putting it down on the ground save for the three he gave to himself and his accomplices.
"Gah, this is taking forever," Zero complained as he dug into a small beef sub. Phantom gnawed away at his chicken, nodding in agreement. After a gulp of ham, Axl spoke up.
"Maybe we should talk quietly about something to pass the time," he suggested.
"Sure, sounds good," Phantom agreed. "There was something bugging me, actually. Back when you made the rules for the pranking match, why did you say that we couldn't switch change room signs?"
"Well, funny story actually…" Axl began. Zero picked up from there.
"Yeah, it's because of something that happened back in the old Maverick Hunter days. You see, Axl always got pretty stoked about April Fool's days back then, and one time, he went a little overboard. I think because I dared him or whatever. I swear, you couldn't take one step without a pie landing in your face or something else like that. I ended up locking myself in my room, to be honest," he explained. Axl continued the tale.
"Hah, that was a day and a half, I tell you. Thing is, I did so many pranks that one time that I forgot what all I did! So when day was over, I was all happy and tired and sweaty, you know? So I decided to go change my clothes. Eheheh, you can probably guess what happened next."
Phantom's eyebrow raised, "You forgot that you'd changed the signs, am I correct?"
"That you are. I mean, from what you told me Axl, the the change room was occupied by more than a few girls, eh?" Zero nudged Axl's shoulder, causing him to blush at the memory.
"Never again did I change the signs after that. So many... there were so many… and they all looked at me… and… uh… oh man, the doctors couldn't get my nose to stop bleeding for a week. I know some people might like seeing girls without clothes on, but that was just too much for me. Not to mention that, apparently, some women keep weapons close at hand at all times in case of perverts and such. You do not want to know how long it took for the plasma burns to heal." He shuddered.
"Axl never 'took advantage' of his ability to transform into females, either. If I remember correctly, I used to complain about him being "the one guy who can turn himself into a woman yet not make some porn for the rest of us." It was always just a joke, mind you." Zero smiled. Phantom laughed a bit at this.
"Joke my ass, you meant it every time," Axl frowned. Phantom laughed harder as Zero looked comically offended.
"What, me, interested in that! Perish the thought! Just because I was like a jock back then doesn't mean that I had any sort of interest in that kind of thing!" he denied. Axl looked slyly to the side.
"Right… Sure you were, you were the most angelic person back then too, weren't you?"
"That I was." Zero agreed. They all looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. As the laughter slowly subsided, they moved onto other interesting subjects, discussing the sorts of things that only other males could relate to (and seeing as I'm a female, you people are shit out of luck for a better description). Five minutes later, there was movement at the house. The trio's conversation died abruptly as they watched the house, waiting for the inevitable outcome.
Hours seemed to pass in total silence. Even the birds quieted down. Tensely, they waited with bated breath, all sensed at their highest. And so they waited.
Silence… and then-
"EEEEEEYAAAAAAUUUUGGHH!"
Leviathan's scream ripped through the quiet of the afternoon, sending birds into panicked flights towards safety. The traps had worked.
"Boo-yah." Axl smiled. The pranksters high-fived each other. The venture, and the day, was a total success! Axl looked at his fellow men of trickery.
"Where to now?"
O… M… G…
That took forever! I'm sorry everyone, this was supposed to be out by April Fool's day, not after Easter! I just got my laptop back (April 13, 2009) so I should be able to update a bit more frequently. And yes, there was a Starcraft reference in there, so shoot me. Actually, don't. I hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter, thanks to everyone who helped me make it here with ideas or beta-reading (my Mom and Captain Greene respectively). See you next HA chapter!