Ianto is still lost.
TWTWTW
The team were all tired but Jack had insisted no one went home until Ianto was back. He had suggested they all snatch some sleep on the sofa in shifts and had himself ordered take out and been to the bakery for coffee and cakes.
Nobody complained, they all wanted Ianto back and would have been reluctant to go home even if Jack had allowed it.
'Tosh?' enquired Jack asking about possible new developments.
His hopes were instantly dashed by the look of apology on Toshiko's face.
'Sorry Jack...I'm getting readings which suggest tiny rips in the fabric of time but they are haphazard, I can't find a pattern and they are too fast to get a fix' she said.
Jack's face fell and he turned away in despair.
'But..' she continued and Jack whipped his head around to look at her again.
'There is a second signature following directly behind and occasionally in front of the first...I'm guessing the Doctor is tracking Ianto and the second rips in time are him'
Jack grinned, it would seem that the Doctor was closer than they were.
'Keep searching Tosh...I refuse to allow Ianto to remain as a blip in time' he said and returned to his own research.
TWTWTW
The mist swirled again and Ianto saw himself in the basement room kneeling on the floor amid the mingled blood of Lisa and the pizza delivery girl. He watched his teammates look away from his despair and the carnage that had been created. Oh God, not this, don't show me this he pleaded.
He didn't remember being guided away from the scene downstairs and didn't know how long he had been sitting on the sofa in the main area of the hub. Some part of him knew the others were clearing up in the basement, clearing away all evidence of the woman he had loved and the killing machine she had become.
He was not thinking, he was unaware of the passage of time, the shock had turned off his ability to think coherently. He became aware of Jack standing in front of him and apparently trying to talk to him. Ianto tried to focus on Jack but his mind would not concentrate long enough to understand what he was saying.
Jack knelt on the floor before him and he locked eyes with the captain, trying once more to focus his mind.
'The others have left Ianto...Lisa is in the morgue...will you come and say goodbye?' Jack was asking him gently.
Ianto automatically responded to what he assumed to be an order and he stood up. He wobbled and Jack caught hold of him. For a brief moment Ianto was glad of the support and comfort of Jack's arms, but suddenly a rush of emotions informed him that this man was the murderer of the woman he had loved and struggled so long to keep alive.
Ianto's breath began to come in short harsh sobs.
'Monster!' he spat at Jack pushing him away.
'Ianto!' warned Jack.
Jack might feel sympathy for the boy who had lost so much but he was not prepared to endure abuse from the man who had put his whole team in danger and had lied so effectively for months.
Ianto stood rigidly, the full force of his anger and grief directed at the man before him.
'You could have saved her' he shouted.
'No Ianto...you know that's not true...the woman you loved was dead long before we shot her' Jack insisted.
Ianto lost what little control he still had and sprang at Jack punching him hard enough to split his lip. Jack barely managed to prevent himself from retaliating. He tried to remember the shock Ianto was suffering and the loss he was yet to fully realise.
Ianto saw the blood he had drawn from the captain's face and it seemed to fuel his anger further. He leapt at him once more punching him again and again, falling with him to the floor in a tangle of limbs.
'Ianto!...please...stop!' gasped Jack trying to still the other man's arms as he continued to land punches all over his body.
Jack allowed the punishment because he recognised that Ianto needed to do it, needed to take his frustration and grief out on the man he was currently holding responsible for both emotions. Jack admitted to himself that he felt he deserved it to some extent. After all Ianto was right, none of them had taken any notice of him. In his teammates that was bad but in his boss it was deplorable. He deserved the hurt Ianto was inflicting, because he hadn't noticed the hurt he was suffering.
He rolled Ianto over, effectively pinning him to the ground with his body.
'Ianto...enough!' he gasped.
But Ianto was out of control, sobbing and fighting to get free of Jack's grip. He suddenly stopped and looked up into the captain's face mere centimetres from his own and felt a flare of something akin to, but different from anger. It stilled him momentarily.
Jack loosened his grip thinking Ianto was calming and Ianto recognised the moment, using it to flip them so that he was once again on top.
From this position of aggression he attacked the captain's mouth with his own kissing him fiercely, aiming to hurt rather than inflame desire.
For a split second Jack was shocked, but then he was kissing back with abandon. They were transported back to the night in the warehouse and all the desire for each other that had been systematically repressed since then was unleashed in that one small act.
It mingled with Ianto's anger and Jack's guilt and crescendoed into an act of lust.
Ianto ground his erection into Jack's and growled into the kiss. He stopped trying to hit the captain and pinned the other man's arms to his sides by a death like grip on his wrists. He broke the kiss and began biting at Jack's neck as he thrust into his groin.
He took his hands briefly away from Jack's wrists and ripped the front of his shirt giving him better access to the captain's neck.
Ianto's lust was overtaking his anger and his thrusting became erratic as his climax built. The anger was now manifest only in the biting which was bordering on vicious, covering Jack's face, neck and shoulders.
Ianto gave two last erratic, uncontrolled thrusts into Jack's groin and came in his trousers whilst biting the other man's shoulder hard enough to break the skin.
The anger, frustration and lust left Ianto along with his semen and he collapsed sobbing on top of Jack quietly muttering over and over again.
'I'm sorry...I'm sorry'
Jack merely held him until the sobbing quieted. Held him gently and caressed his hair whispering nonsense about everything being alright now.
When Ianto eventually calmed he did not fight the comfort of Jack's arms but lay still for a while gathering his thoughts. He lifted his head and looked at the man beneath him wondering what his next move would be. Ianto noticed the large unmistakable bite on his neck and drew in a sharp breath in sympathy. He reached down and kissed it gently in apology.
'Oh God...I didn't think my life could get any more screwed up...and here I am proving myself most spectacularly wrong by trying to rape my boss' he murmured into Jack's neck.
Jack lifted his chin and looked him in the eyes.
'It was hardly that Ianto' he smiled softly 'you're in emotional shock...sometimes the body finds a way to deal with what your mind can no longer process...it finds a physical release because a mental one would be too painful' he explained gently.
'I'm sorry' whispered Ianto again.
'So am I' answered Jack and Ianto looked at him in surprise.
They sat up together and Ianto looked down in dismay at his stained and wet trousers, evidence of his lust.
'It's ok Ianto' whispered Jack recognising the moment of insecurity and embarrassment.
He gave a final stroke to the younger man's hair and asked.
'Would you like to go and say goodbye now?'
Ianto nodded and the two men walked to the morgue together, Ianto allowing the older man to pass reassurance to him by the joining of their hands.
Ianto looked down at Lisa lying in apparent peace in a drawer in the morgue.
'Where is all the blood?' he asked shocked.
'I asked Owen to help me to clean her up' said Jack simply.
They had also removed as much of her metal helmet as possible, making her look as human as she had since Canary Wharf.
'Thank you' whispered Ianto.
Then with a small smile he asked sadly.
'How did you persuade Owen to help?...I imagined he would never so much as look at me willingly again'
'Owen lost someone just before he joined Torchwood...he's not happy with you...but he understands your pain' answered Jack and he put his arms around the younger man and pulled him into a hug.
Ianto rested his head briefly on Jack's shoulder and then looked up at him. The two men slowly leaned in to kiss each other gently, deepening the kiss slightly when Jack tentatively pressed his tongue against the other man's lips. Ianto met it with his own in the briefest of caresses before they parted. It was a kiss of forgiveness, of renewal, a promise for the future.
Ianto felt the tears gather behind his eyes as he relived the scene of Lisa's death, her final death. He and Jack had gradually grown closer after that night. Ianto had needed someone to talk to when the rest of the team were wary of approaching him. Jack needed to make amends for having missed all the pain the young man had been in.
They had sought comfort and understanding in each other and that had eventually led to more. That night had been a turning point in Ianto's life for more than one reason.
Ianto wiped his eyes as mist encircled him and then cleared and he was suddenly in the much more recent past. Yesterday, thought Ianto.
TWTWTW
'Arrhh!' screamed Owen.
He threw the cup that was sitting on his desk across the hub, watching as both Ianto and Gwen ducked to avoid being hit.
'Owen! What the hell is the matter with you?' demanded Jack from where he stood at Toshiko's monitor studying her analyses of recent rift activity.
'Nothing!' sneered Owen.
'Then why did you throw the cup?' asked Jack in exasperation.
'It looked at me funny' scowled Owen.
The other four gazed at him in disbelief. The statement would have been amusing but for the fact that Owen was clearly fuming over some unspoken thing.
'I'm going to cut something up' snarled Owen and he left the floor for his lab.
Ianto quietly moved to clear up the broken crockery whilst Toshiko and Jack continued to sift through rift predictions and Gwen muttered about moody medics under her breath.
Having cleaned up Ianto took a fresh drink down to the med lab and with it a brown paper bag.
He walked softly over to where Owen was sitting gazing gloomily into space. He took a seat next to his friend, placed the coffee before him and offered the paper bag.
'Happy birthday Owen' he said gently.
Owen looked at him and took the bag opening it to find a chocolate cup cake from the bakery on the quay front, they were his favourite. His shoulders slumped as he perceived the confectionary.
'How do you always know Ianto?' he asked in a subdued tone.
'You should have realised by now that I know everything Owen' smiled Ianto 'I take it she hasn't been in contact?' he asked.
'No' confirmed Owen sadly.
The two men sat together in silence for a long moment. Whilst Jack had been away Owen and Ianto had become closer, drinking together occasionally and taking comfort in the presence of another male when Toshiko and Gwen became too girly.
Owen had confided about his almost non- existent relationship with his mother, how he despised her and yet still yearned for her to acknowledge him.
The lack of birthday greetings from her bothered him, but what bothered him most was how much he was upset by it. He knew he should just let it go, God knows he was old enough to get over it and he had lived with the disappointment long enough.
'I'm sorry' sympathised Ianto.
'Yeah' acknowledged Owen.
'Mine goes to the other extreme' said Ianto 'she wants to know everything...she rings constantly...tells me to put a coat on when I go out...checks to make sure I'm eating properly...wants to know all the details about my love life...' Ianto trailed off.
'Yeah?' grinned Owen 'does she know about Jack?'
Ianto grinned back at him.
'Finally got up the courage to tell her recently' he admitted.
'What did she say? Was she shocked that her only son is gay?' asked Owen gleefully, enjoying someone else's discomfort.
'I'm not gay Owen' insisted Ianto.
'Yeah? Well I've seen CCTV footage that begs to differ' laughed Owen.
Ianto looked at him in shock.
'Bloody Harkness' he muttered under his breath.
The two men looked at each other and laughed.
'So what did she say?' continued Owen.
'She wants to meet Jack' replied Ianto distractedly.
'Whoa!' said Owen.
'Exactly' agreed Ianto 'she wants to vet him in the way she has all my previous girlfriends'
Owen began to giggle uncontrollably.
'Harkness meeting the in laws...oh that is good...that's cheered me right up...thanks Ianto'
Ianto stood up to leave the med lab.
'Oh Ianto wait!...what did Jack say when you told him?' asked Owen expecting to hear of Jack's absolute refusal.
'He asked what he should wear' said Ianto laughing to himself at the look of shock on Owen's face.
He left the lab listening to the disbelieving snorts of the doctor.
Ianto smiled again as he watched Owen's shocked expression. He had been upset on the medic's behalf that his mother had not contacted him on his birthday. Such a thing would never happen in his family. Much as he found his mother's constant concern suffocating, he could not imagine the hurt he would feel were that concern to be withdrawn.
Another scene emerged.
Ianto looked around, the hub was empty. No...he could hear a sound getting nearer...it was himself singing the lullaby his mother had sung to his sister and himself when they were children. Ianto watched himself arrive on the main floor of the hub with a baby in his arms. The baby could be no more than four or five months old. What was a baby doing in Torchwood? Was he a father? His heart leapt with joy at the very idea.
TWTWTW
Ianto stopped singing and looked down into Samuel's big brown eyes.
'This is the main floor...where we sit all day and look at technology and alien junk whilst drinking coffee' he explained turning the baby around in his arms so that he could take it all in.
He took him over to the kitchen area.
'This is uncle Ianto's coffee machine...no one else is allowed to touch it...but when you are a lot older I will show you how to make perfect coffee...then when you upset mum you'll be able to apologise...a good cup of coffee won't make up for all your misdemeanours, but it will get you a long way along the path of forgiveness' he continued.
The hub alarm sounded and Jack strolled in.
'Hey...shouldn't you be at the ceremony by now?' he asked walking over and kissing Ianto and the top of the baby's head.
'No...it's not for another hour...Rhys has had to go and fetch his parents as their car broke down and Gwen is having a panic about the catering...so I'm babysitting until she gets back...I'm introducing Samuel to the delights of the Torchwood hub' smiled Ianto.
Jack leant his head to one side and sadly considered his lover with the baby in his arms. He held the child so naturally and easily.
'You could still have all this Ianto' he whispered sadly indicating the baby.
'No I can't Jack' Ianto returned the whisper.
'You could' insisted Jack 'Gwen chose to leave for a normal life...you could have that...marriage...babies'
Ianto looked at Jack and knew he was wondering if Ianto regretted the lack of normality in his life.
'Gwen chose to leave...and I chose to stay...my choice is just as valid Jack...and I was just as capable of making it...I could have all the wonders of a normal life...but I would rather have you' he answered.
Ianto pressed their foreheads together and desperately willed Jack to believe him.
They broke apart when Samuel pushed a small hand up to their faces and grabbed Jack's nose, laughing when Jack caught hold of his wrist and blew a raspberry on his palm.
'I get to be Godfather to this little man and I am going to relish that role' laughed Ianto 'I am going to teach him all sorts of stuff his parents won't appreciate...and when I run out of ideas I'm going to bring him to you for more'
'Oi! I heard that' Gwen had entered as Ianto had finished speaking.
'I chose you because I thought you would be a good influence on his life Ianto Jones...I am now beginning to have serious doubts' laughed the Welshwoman taking the baby from Ianto's arms and smiling at him.
'Everything sorted?' asked Ianto.
'Yep...but we need to go...get this one changed before we set off for the church...you're still welcome to come Jack' she said.
'No' said Jack reluctantly 'this is a little bit of normal for you and Ianto...and as you are no longer a Torchwood operative you shouldn't still be able to gain access to the hub' he tutted mock sternly.
'Well Ianto and I have come to an arrangement...he needs access to Samuel...and I need access to wherever my baby might be' laughed Gwen.
'Oh...and why wasn't I consulted about this?...I am the boss' said Jack but he smiled as he spoke.
'Oh Jack' laughed Gwen 'Ianto has been in charge of Torchwood, the hub and you for a long time now' and she walked away still chuckling.
Ianto gazed in amusement at the very cross look on his lover's face.
'You can be the boss tonight sir' he whispered sexily and winked as he followed Gwen out of the hub.
Gwen's baby. Of course it was Gwen's baby. Ianto felt relief and a certain amount of disappointment. He had always wanted to be a father and until recently had assumed it would happen one day. He and Lisa had talked of having three children and Ianto had revelled in the idea.
Once he had accepted his relationship with Jack he had known he must make a choice. Jack or fatherhood. Jack or marriage. Jack or normality. It hadn't been a difficult choice in the end. Ianto had fallen in love despite his best efforts to fight it and he was always willing to make sacrifices for those he loved.
He suddenly felt very warm at the idea of being Godfather to Gwen's child. She had trusted him to do this, had trusted him to care for her child and be involved in his life. He and Gwen had sometimes had a wary relationship, he knew she liked Jack and she knew Ianto was with him. On occasions this had caused some small frictions between them. Obviously this was no longer an issue. But if Gwen had become a mother and had left Torchwood their friendship had probably become easier.
Ianto felt very pleased that there would be this joy in his life and that Gwen would have the normal life she deserved, that Torchwood would not steal it away from her or Rhys. He had seen a future time when Gwen, Owen and Toshiko were no longer in the hub and at least here was proof that one of them had left voluntarily. He prayed to discover the same was true of the other two.
TWTWTW
Owen entered Jack's office.
'Jack?...you ok mate?' he asked.
'No' replied Jack sadly 'I want him back Owen'
'We all do Jack...and we'll get him back...Tosh showed me how she is monitoring the time rips that she thinks are Ianto and the Doctor...how well do you know him Jack?...is he really helping?' asked Owen nervously, collaborating with aliens did not come easily to the medic.
'If anybody can find Ianto and bring him back it will be him...that's what he does Owen...he saves people...he saved me' said Jack.
Owen nodded but his face remained grim.
'I think you should come out and eat with us...you need to talk to Gwen' said Owen.
'Why?' asked Jack 'has she found something of use?'
'Unfortunately no' replied Owen 'but she is determined to find something related to this phenomenon in the archives...Ianto will not be pleased with the mess she has made when he returns...perhaps you could encourage her to tone down her enthusiasm...or at least to replace files vaguely where she found them...teaboy will have a blue fit' he smiled.
Jack smiled back thinking about Ianto's ire whenever anyone messed with his filing system. He felt an unaccustomed warmth when he realised Owen's unspoken concern for both himself and his missing 'teaboy'.