Jack sat in his office staring into space and trying not to think about Ianto. It was impossible. The young man was taking up all the team's time and thoughts at the moment and especially Jack's. Jack thought about all the things he and Ianto had come through, the betrayals, the hurt, the comfort and forgiveness. He had to get the young man back, he was not ready to lose him.
Toshiko knocked and entered the office with a cup of coffee for the captain.
'It's not Ianto's but it's made with love' she said as she presented the cup.
'Ahh! Ianto's secret ingredient' smiled Jack.
Toshiko raised her eyebrow at the comment.
'It's what I always think makes Ianto's coffee so special...he makes it with care for the people who will receive it...he wants them to enjoy it...he makes it with love' sighed Jack.
'Oh dear!' thought Toshiko if Jack was becoming so melancholy did that mean he was losing hope?
Jack grimaced suddenly and looked up at her sheepishly.
'I know...that was a bit twee wasn't it?...don't tell the others' he demanded mock fiercely.
Toshiko smiled.
'I promise' she said.
'You should try to get some sleep Jack' she added gently knowing that the captain had not closed his eyes since Ianto went missing nearly thirty six hours ago now.
'I've tried' smiled Jack 'can't get my mind to shut down enough...need my snuggle toy in the bed'
Toshiko laughed.
'Oh that is way too much information Jack...when we get Ianto back I'm going to tell him what you called him and laugh as I watch you get punished' she said.
Jack waggled his eyebrows at her.
'So ...is that a favourite fantasy of yours?...seeing Ianto punish me?' he smirked.
Toshiko giggled some more.
'You are outrageous Mr Harkness' she exclaimed.
'Oh... I see you have been talking to Ianto!' laughed Jack.
They both stopped laughing, thinking of the lost man and just looked at each other for a long moment. Toshiko made to leave the office.
Tosh!' Jack stopped her.
She turned to look at her boss in question.
'Thanks' he whispered, indicating the coffee but meaning so much more.
TWTWTW
Ianto was puzzled. He knew he must have been missing for some time now as he had witnessed so many scenes, he worried about how Jack would be coping with his absence. But he worried more that despite the apparent passage of time he did not feel hungry or thirsty, he was not tired and felt no need for a bathroom. Why was that? It could only mean that his body was stuck in a particular moment of time. Would he never age? Never change? Would he be stuck here endlessly, watching and never altering? After all, the Doctor had said he could be stuck forever and Ianto was just beginning to realise the implications of that.
He looked at his wrist watch...seventeen minutes past ten...the exact moment he had been caught up in this madness. He was... he was stuck in an exact moment of time... the thought terrified him.
He had to believe the team would find him or he would be driven insane. Was this how Jack felt? Never altering and watching the world change around him, people coming and going? At least Jack could interact with his surroundings, Ianto would have nothing if trapped here.
Toshiko and the Doctor were working on his rescue he would trust to their skill and try not to think about forever.
There was little point in brooding about a situation he could not alter. His mother had always told him 'what can't be cured must be endured' and whilst this dictum had annoyed him as a child, he recognised its truth as an adult. He could not interact with his surroundings other than to move through the hub, could not contact his teammates, could not even touch anything. He would just have to endure the waiting.
Ianto was the image of patience and calm in everyday life but it was an image he worked hard to project and did not always find easy.
He sighed as the mist swirled and he prepared to meet yet another version of himself.
TWTWTW
Ianto took a deep breath and entered Jack's office.
'Your coffee sir' he said politely, placing the cup on the desk.
Jack looked up into Ianto's face and grinned widely.
'Thank you Ianto. Have I told you today how good you look in that suit?' he said.
'Several times sir' said Ianto tersely.
Ianto nervously straightened his tie. Being alone with Jack always made him a little nervous. He wasn't sure if it was the older man's continuous flirting or the fact that Ianto could feel himself respond in ways he was not yet prepared to admit.
Ianto was straight. He kept telling himself that over and over but that didn't stop him dreaming about Jack, and those dreams were not innocent, but they were wonderful. Ianto thought it was happening only because Jack flirted with him continually and this led his subconscious mind in directions his conscious mind would never wander.
The two men had become close since the incident with Lisa. Ianto stayed behind and helped Jack with the paperwork he hated and in return Jack was company for Ianto and kept him from thinking too much and brooding on his mistakes.
Jack had always flirted and Ianto knew he was attracted to the man. But he wasn't sure if Jack was actually attracted to him or if he was just being Jack. The uncertainty was more unnerving than the flirting. Ianto did not want to respond and then be made a fool of. A part of him wondered if this was Jack punishing him for Lisa, flirting with him so that he could ultimately reject him. He didn't think the older man would be so cruel but he couldn't help the small part of him that doubted.
Jack stood and came around his desk and took one of Ianto's hands. He came ever closer to the young man until their bodies were flush together and their lips millimetres apart.
'You are beautiful Ianto Jones' whispered Jack and Ianto could feel his breath on his lips.
For a moment Ianto was stunned and the two men remained motionless. Suddenly Ianto backed away from his boss as if realising the situation. With a foot of space between them Ianto hissed.
'Do you really want me or are you just doing this to pass the time and freak me out?'
Jack was a little taken aback at the tone. The space between the two men was still narrow but Ianto's eyes were flashing fire and Jack was wary of his reaction. Ianto had never really responded either way to his flirting, he hadn't encouraged it but neither had he given any sign that it upset him.
Jack wasn't sure where this sudden reaction had come from but it had certainly never been his intention to upset Ianto. He liked the young man very much, not just the way he looked but the man himself. He had hoped eventually that Ianto would respond to him and they could investigate a new level in their relationship. The incident after Lisa's death had seemed to suggest this was an eventual possibility. Perhaps it was just too soon for Ianto.
Jack put out a hand and clasped one of Ianto's.
'I really want you' he whispered earnestly.
Ianto looked at him, looked down, looked around the room and then back at Jack nervously.
'Is that ok Ianto?' asked Jack equally nervously.
Ianto shifted his gaze again, but then looked Jack directly in the eyes and replied.
'It's ok'
Jack smiled at him and closed the small distance between them until he could hug the younger man to him.
'I don't want you to be upset by me...so it's your move ok?' he whispered.
Ianto nodded and moved out of the embrace and out of the office, not looking behind him and so missing the wistful gaze on Jack's face.
Ianto remembered the days and weeks after Lisa's death when the both of them had skirted around the issue of their attraction. Ianto confused about his feelings and fearing rejection, Jack desperate not to push and risk losing the very thing he had wanted for so long.
Ianto sighed. Even now he and Jack were not brilliant at talking to each other. They skirted the emotional issues and plunged into the physical ones. They needed to talk more when he got back...if he got back.
TWTWTW
When the mist cleared Ianto found himself at the top of the med lab stairs looking down on an injured Toshiko.
Toshiko plunged the needle into her leg and waited briefly for the pain medication to begin its work then returned to talking to Owen and trying to get him safely out of the nuclear power plant.
Ianto couldn't make sense of what was happening, he could only see that Toshiko his beautiful friend was hurt.
He watched as Jack and Gwen arrived and comforted Toshiko in her dying moments. He even saw himself watching from above, unable to move to comfort his friend as the emotions became too much.
Oh God Tosh no! He thought as he watched her close her eyes for the final time. In his mind he screamed...that's enough....get me out of here Doctor...I want to go home, and a sob caught in his throat.
TWTWTW
Ianto had closed his eyes and turned away from the horror and was immensely relieved when mist swirled and the scene changed. His breathing became calmer as the tableau itself was calm.
Ianto watched the picture before him a little puzzled, nothing seemed to be happening. He and Jack were alone in the hub and they looked pretty much as they do now, Ianto concluded this must be from the fairly near future.
Ianto sat next to Jack on the battered hub sofa. Neither man was talking they were both engrossed in reports. Ianto made small notes in the margin of his report occasionally and Jack hummphed every now and then at something he had read.
The two men reached for their drinks together and took sips, replacing the cups on the table before them with apparent synchronicity, almost as if the move had been choreographed. They were obviously comfortable in each other's company to the extent that words were not necessary.
Ianto finished his report and set it down on his lap and stared in front of him waiting for Jack to complete his task. When he did they swapped paperwork without speaking and quickly checked each other's work.
This done they stood and took the reports to the office and Ianto filed them in the cabinet. They then stopped and for the first time looked at each other and smiled.
Jack put out his hand and Ianto took it and Jack pressed buttons on his wrist strap. Music quietly filled the office and Jack pulled Ianto into his arms, the two of them swaying to the sound, holding each other gently, closing eyes and resting their cheeks together. As the music stopped they kissed softly and smiled at each other then made their way to the underground room.
Ianto smiled to himself. He had witnessed nothing and yet it made him feel warm to observe it. He and Jack were so used to each other that they no longer needed words, they fitted together, knew what each other would do and think. They were in a solid relationship and it was beautiful to watch.
TWTWTW
The scene changed again. Ianto watched as once more people he did not recognise emerged into the hub. He saw himself and Jack in his office and unfamiliar faces at the monitors on the main floor.
'Deeta where is that information you promised?'
'For God's sake Hugo I sent it to your monitor ten minutes ago you just need to access it at your end' sniped Deeta.
Hugo raised his eyes at the woman and gave her a small sheepish grin and opened the file he had requested.
The door to Jack's office opened and Ianto emerged.
'I said no Jack' he huffed.
Deeta and Hugo looked at each other and rolled their eyes, surely this argument could not last much longer, they had been at it for days. Ianto and Jack did not really argue as such, Jack whined and pleaded and Ianto became progressively more stiff. He would ultimately start serving decaff if he did not get his way.
Jack wanted a hot tub installed in their garden in the house they shared and Ianto disagreed. Ianto knew the hot tub would lead to sex outdoors and the neighbours really would not like that.
'Give it up Ianto...you know he'll only go ahead and install it anyway' muttered Deeta.
'He most certainly will not' snapped Ianto 'and since when did you know what Jack and I are discussing in private?' he demanded.
'It's hardly been private Ianto...you've been arguing about this for a week...and I don't know about you but I don't think I can take much more of his whining' sighed Hugo indicating Jack's direction.
Jack grinned at them from the door of his office.
'See they think you should let me have a hot tub' he laughed down at Ianto.
The hub alarm sounded and Laura entered.
'Oh God...not still the hot tub...please' she said.
'So everybody knows...' huffed Ianto.
'Yes!' a chorus rang out.
Laura took on the role of being practical.
'Look Ianto...Jack obviously really wants this...what's stopping you?...why don't you just say yes?' she asked.
Ianto drew himself up in a self righteous manner.
'Because he will want to use it for sex' he said pointing at Jack.
Jack just grinned not bothering to deny it.
'So?' asked Laura.
'The neighbours will see' Ianto answered as if this argument were self explanatory.
'No they won't...your garden is huge...and there is a considerable distance between you and your nearest neighbour...we've seen your house Ianto...anyone wanting to look into your garden will need binoculars and a great deal of determination...that excuse is not going to wash' said Hugo.
'But they might see...they might think we're gay' said Ianto becoming aware that his arguments were pretty pointless.
His three teammates looked at him in amazement and confusion.
'But what they think doesn't matter...we don't live in the dark ages' argued Laura.
And you are gay' said Deeta firmly.
'Not gay' muttered Ianto under his breath.
Jack came down to the main hub floor and encircled Ianto in his arms.
'Ianto we've been together nearly twenty years...I think it's safe to say you are a little bit gay' he smiled affectionately.
Ianto buried his head in Jack's shoulder acknowledging he was being a bit ridiculous.
'But if you don't want the neighbours to know that...that's ok...we won't get a hot tub' continued Jack.
Ianto felt ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he was still hiding a part of himself after all these years, ashamed that Jack thought he was embarrassed by their relationship. But he still didn't think of himself as gay, it had only ever been Jack.
'It's ok Jack...we'll get a tub...I'm sorry' he whispered to his lover.
Then Ianto grinned at him.
'But can we get the one with the mirrored tiles?'
The three teammates looked on. The girls sighed and Hugo muttered.
'So very gay'
Ianto laughed as the scene played out before him. He didn't think of himself as gay and was always denying it to Owen. Was he really still going to be denying it in twenty years?
TWTWTW
Jack jerked awake and immediately felt guilty that he had fallen asleep whilst his Welshman was still missing. He sat up and checked his team were still hard at work.
That's enough...get him back...bring him home Doctor... he unconsciously echoed Ianto's earlier thoughts when he had witnessed Toshiko dying.