Would this never end?
Ianto was watching an earlier version of himself and Jack tiptoeing around their desire for each other. Ianto's breath caught as he realised his earlier self was about to take the initial step that started their relationship in earnest.
TWTWTW
For two weeks since the incident when Jack had insisted the next move would be his, Ianto had been trying to contain his lust for the other man. Or rather he had been trying to act on it in subtle and soft ways. He wanted Jack but he wasn't entirely sure what it was he wanted. He thought about him constantly, fantasised about him, watched the way his body moved and thought about what it would look like without the clothes.
Oh God, did he really want to have sex with a man? He tried to imagine himself as gay and it just didn't work. He liked women with their rounded forms and their soft skin, but when he found himself jerking off in the shower to the image of a naked Jack he could no longer deny the appeal of angular shapes and stubble.
He began to touch Jack in subtle ways that he wasn't sure the other man noticed. When he placed his coffee on the desk he would lay a gentle hand on his shoulder as he looked over the paperwork Jack was signing. His hands lingered as he helped Jack on with his coat. He handed him a file and held his fingers briefly whilst looking into Jack's eyes, then snatched both eyes and hands away as he realised his actions were being noted.
After two weeks of this tension, one night when the others had all gone home and Jack was using Toshiko's monitor to look over her recent findings on rift prediction exercises Ianto took a chance.
'I'm leaving now sir...unless you have anything else you'd like me to do' he said moving towards Jack.
Jack stood up, hands at his side and looked earnestly into Ianto's face.
'You could stay and talk' he suggested and Ianto was surprised to see no hint of harassment in the way he looked at him.
Ianto moved towards him on impulse and ghosted a kiss across the other man's lips. He moved his head back until he could focus on Jack's eyes and gauge his reaction. He could not read the other man's expression and so did what he wanted to do and leaned in for a proper kiss. He softly twined his fingers with Jack's for support. Gently caressing his lips over Jack's and then pressing slightly harder until he got a reaction and they were kissing properly.
When the kiss broke Jack looked at him with questions in his eyes.
'What now Ianto?' he asked softly.
Ianto looked at him pleadingly.
'I don't know...help me Jack' he begged.
Jack raised an eyebrow at him.
'What do you want Ianto?' he asked him.
'Help me Jack...' begged Ianto again 'I'm sorry...I know it must be disappointing that I've never done this before...I don't know what comes next'
Jack took a quick step back.
'Seriously?' he asked in alarm.
'What?' asked Ianto in confusion.
'Ianto are you trying to tell me you're a virgin?' asked Jack stiff with horror.
The tension broke for Ianto at the look of shock on Jack's face.
'You don't need to make it sound like something morally reprehensible' he said.
'Oh my God...you are a virgin' gasped Jack unsure what he would do now.
Ianto laughed outright at the mixture of confusion... and was that outrage? in Jack's expression.
'No..I'm not a virgin...just never done anything with another bloke before' he smiled.
Ianto took a deep breath and continued leaning in and making another shy move. He began to kiss Jack's neck and up behind his ears, smiling to himself as he heard Jack gasp. He made a mental note of the sensitive spot.
'Take me to bed Jack?' he asked.
'You sure you want to do this?...there's no hurry' whispered Jack a little unsure now that Ianto had made his confession.
'No I'm not sure Jack...I don't even know what it is I want to do' Ianto admitted.
'I realise that lack of knowledge might be a little frustrating for you...but I can learn fast...you know that...show me what to do Jack...this is the 21st century...I have some knowledge of what men might do together' he cocked his head to the side 'I do after all have internet access' he smiled 'I've...just never tried it...I'm inexperienced..not naive...just...show me how' he begged.
'You watch internet porn?...gay internet porn?' asked Jack cheekily breaking the tension.
Ianto laughed.
'I'm not Owen...it wasn't porn..it was....research' he insisted.
Jack looked at him earnestly and continued.
'A lack of experience is not frustrating Ianto...and I don't want you to feel this is another chore you have to get right and learn to do well...but I do want you to be sure...if you've never wanted a man before take a moment to consider this...I don't want to think I've pressured you into it' he said.
'I don't need a moment Jack...I've been thinking of nothing else for weeks...I want to see you naked...I want to kiss you...stroke you...oh God I want to do things with you I've never given a thought to doing before...take me to bed...please' gasped Ianto.
Jack looked at him briefly and then took his hand and led him to his underground room. They stood looking at each other once they landed in Jack's bedroom.
Jack took charge. He kissed the younger man gently and began to undress him, never rushing and always waiting for the change of mind that might come.
The refusal never happened and suddenly they were naked and Ianto had fist full of another man's cock and his brain took a moment to register how weird that was.
Jack pushed him onto the bed and clambered on top of him. Ianto's mind caught up with what his body was doing and snapped to attention. He was naked and excited and another man was pressing his body down on to a bed.
And just like that he panicked.
He stopped kissing and started pushing Jack away, kicking his legs to move the other man more quickly.
'Oh my God Jack...stop...what the fuck are we doing' it all spilled from his mouth before he had time to think about what he was saying.
'Well I thought we were having a good time and that it was about to get better' puzzled Jack pulling away from the struggling man under him.
The two looked at each other for a long moment.
'Ianto...is this not ok?...we can stop' Jack was beginning to get worried. It had never been his intention to harass Ianto into something he didn't want.
Ianto tried to get his breathing under control and stop himself from panicking. He had wanted this, he knew that without a doubt. But he wasn't sure how far he wanted to take it, which seemed a little difficult to admit now that he was naked on Jack's bed.
'I...I did want it Jack..I do want it...I just need a minute to think...I've not done this before' he tried apologetically 'I'm not sure how far I want to go'
He breathed heavily a few times.
'Well this isn't awkward at all...having a conversation that we should have had long before we got naked' he continued.
'Yeah' laughed Jack 'you want to get dressed?' he asked smiling to show he was ok with a withdrawal of consent.
Ianto looked down briefly.
'No' he said softly .
'You know' said Jack 'with you being a man sex virgin we could take this a little more slowly' he offered.
'Did you just seriously call it man sex?' laughed Ianto.
'Well what would you call it?' asked Jack indignantly.
'Not sure...but am sure it would not be man sex' smiled Ianto 'what do you mean by slowly?...show me?' he asked gently.
Jack sidled over to him and pulled him into a soft embrace running his fingers down the other man's face.
'We can be gentle...loving...soft... we can talk about what you want' he kissed Ianto softly swiping his tongue over the other man's.
Ianto pulled back enough to smile against the other man's lips.
'Jack...I told you I'm not an innocent...you don't need to be quite that girly'
'It wouldn't all be for you Ianto..' Jack said whilst kissing down the other man's neck 'I like to take things slowly sometimes...this would give me the opportunity to indulge'
Jack's hands were softly caressing Ianto's body and both men were beginning to breathe heavily. Jack pulled Ianto to lie down on the bed and continued to stroke him.
'Just touching Ianto...touching and kissing...will that be ok?' he asked.
'I'd like that Jack' smiled Ianto doing some touching of his own.
Jack reached down to touch Ianto's cock and stroke it gently.
'Do you like this?' he asked breathlessly.
'Very much' gasped Ianto as his own hand reached out to touch Jack's cock in the same manner, marvelling at the silky smoothness of it, the differences and the similarities to his own.
Jack continued to stroke and caress and kiss Ianto along his neck, across his shoulders, over his chest, licking a nipple before he travelled back up to Ianto's head to kiss him again.
'Ok?' asked Jack.
Ianto smiled at him.
'Stop worrying...I'm sorry I freaked out...you're not despoiling a Victorian virgin' he said, beginning to relax now that he knew Jack would not want more than he was happy to give.
'I'm not really worrying Ianto...just...I want this to happen again...I want to do all manner of things with you...and that's more likely to happen if you're happy with tonight' explained Jack.
'I am happy with what's happening so far' Ianto sat up slightly and rested his head on his elbow taking the opportunity to look at Jack.
He ran tentative fingertips over Jack's chest and looked quickly up into his eyes when he heard Jack's breath hitch from the contact. He was surprised he could make Jack respond in this way and it gave him confidence.
He moved his hands lower and brushed Jack's cock and sat up even more to look at it as he stroked. The expression on his face was unfathomable.
'Ianto?' questioned Jack.
'Jack' breathed Ianto.
'What is it?' asked Jack fighting to speak against the sensations that Ianto's hands were creating.
'Oh God Jack' gasped Ianto.
'What? What!' asked Jack becoming concerned.
'I want to lick it' gasped Ianto still stroking Jack's cock.
Jack laughed.
'Well go ahead...I won't die of fright' he smiled.
'I might' admitted Ianto.
The two men looked at each other and grinned, all tension broken.
'Don't laugh if I make a real mess of this' warned Ianto still smiling as he bent his head to this new task.
What Ianto lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. He licked and sucked and quickly learnt from the sounds Jack was making which actions were preferred by the other man. Jack reached down and pulled him away.
Ianto looked into his face.
'Something wrong?' he asked disappointed, he had thought it was going quite well.
'No...' gasped Jack 'might come if you keep that up...figured a warning might be appropriate' he smiled.
Jack pushed Ianto onto his back.
'Besides it's my turn' he said checking for consent before lowering his head.
Jack was much more skilled than Ianto and soon had the other man close to orgasm.
Ianto watched Jack sucking on his cock and the sight fed his desire and pleasure. He could see the other man pulling on his own cock which was red and distended. Ianto's breathing hitched as he watched and allowed the sensations and visions Jack was creating wash over him. As Ianto's breathing stuttered Jack's hand swiped faster on his own cock and he renewed his efforts at sucking.
It quickly became too much for Ianto.
'Jack...Jack..' warned Ianto scratching at the captain's shoulders.
Jack did not stop sucking and stroking and within seconds Ianto's hips were bucking off the bed in a frantic and erratic thrusting motion as he achieved his release gasping and sobbing. Jack moaned around Ianto's softening cock as with two more hard pulls on his own he spurted come over his partner's legs.
Jack moved up the bed slightly so that he could see into Ianto's face. He bought his come covered hand up to his face and licked his fingers.
'Shit' breathed Ianto his cock twitching in response despite his recent orgasm.
Jack smiled at his partners reaction, he was going to have fun with Ianto Jones.
'Ok?' he asked leaning in for a small kiss.
'Yeah' whispered Ianto.
Ianto rolled over slightly to look into Jack's eyes.
'That must have been pretty tame for you' he said apologetically.
Jack looked at him earnestly.
'You're not in competition with anyone Ianto...stop judging yourself because I'm sure as hell not...in case you didn't notice I quite enjoyed myself' he whispered.
'Can we do it again?' asked Ianto.
'Now?' asked Jack worriedly 'I'm not as young as you...might need a few minutes'
Ianto laughed.
'Not now...just sometime' he said.
'Oh yes' declared Jack emphatically.
Ianto began tracing small circles on Jack's chest.
'Jack?' he questioned.
'Yes'
'Next time...will you show me how to find your prostate?'
Jack laughed outright.
'Ianto Jones you said you were a man sex virgin...how do you know about such things?'
Ianto huffed.
'Internet' he exclaimed.
'Porn?' asked Jack.
'Research' insisted Ianto.
The two men laughed and relaxed back on the bed enjoying the comfort of another body close by.
Jack loved the mixture of innocence and openness that Ianto displayed. He had a certain amount of nerves about a new experience but he also was prepared to ask for what he wanted. It boded well for their future experiences.
'Ianto?...if you've never been with a man...have there been lots of women?' asked Jack, maybe this was where Ianto got his openness from.
'I've had four partners' said Ianto.
Jack looked at him in surprise. Ianto was young, but not that young and four was not many. Ianto shrugged.
'To have sex you have to get messy Jack...and you have to lose control...I don't do either of those things with people I don't trust'
Jack gulped. It was wonderful to think that he had regained Ianto's trust.
'I don't do one night stands like Owen...I prefer to know people...like them...but you don't need to worry...I don't make demands' stuttered Ianto worrying that Jack assumed he thought this meant more than it did.
'I wasn't worrying Ianto' smiled Jack 'different people...different ways of living' he shrugged to show he accepted other people as they were.
'So' continued Jack 'I'm the fifth person you've had sex with?' he held onto Ianto's hand to show it was a question not an accusation.
'No' said Ianto.
Jack looked at him in surprise.
'You don't call what we just did sex?' he asked.
'Oh yes...it was sex...but you were number four' answered Ianto.
TW
Ianto laughed as he watched the scene played out. Laughed at the confusion playing over Jack's face. They had come to know each other much better since then and their sex life had expanded until they had tried everything Ianto had discovered in his 'research'.
TWTWTW
As Ianto watched himself and his captain disappear and a new scene emerge he heard the sound of Gwen whispering quietly and turned expecting to see his friend, his heart leaping at the thought of seeing those he knew. He saw himself and Gwen, but much older versions, sitting talking together on the sofa and moved closer to hear the conversation.
TW
'It's terminal Ianto...there's nothing more they can do...I wanted you to know...I won't be coming here again...will you tell Jack...I know he'll be all girly and cry..I don't think I can handle that right now' whispered Gwen.
Ianto swallowed a sob. Gwen had been diagnosed with breast cancer eighteen months ago but her treatment had been going so well. Now she was here to tell him that her last check up had revealed the cancer had spread. Although continued treatment would give her more time ultimately the battle was lost.
'What makes you think I won't cry?' smiled Ianto trying to be brave for his friend.
'Because I've asked you not to...and you always put other people first' smiled Gwen.
Ianto pulled her into a hug so that she would not see the unshed tears in his eyes and to give himself a moment to compose his mind.
'You got out of here...had a normal life...you were supposed to be the one that survived' he said sadly.
'I know' sniffed Gwen 'guns, aliens, madness... and bloody cancer got me in the end...but at least this way I can prepare Ianto...I can say goodbye...make my children remember how much I love them'
'Oh God the kids' gasped Ianto 'do they know?'
'We're telling them at the weekend...it's half term next week so they will have some time away from school to take it in and spend time with us...I don't know how they will take it...they're only babies really' sobbed Gwen.
Ianto hugged her tightly again. Gwen's children were teenagers but he knew they were still babies to her.
'Help them Ianto...you're their Godfather and sometimes Rhys won't be able to help them because of his own grief...they love you...and if they need cheering up you can bring Jack to teach them something I won't approve of' she smiled.
Ianto laughed with her. Gwen spotted Jack out of the corner of her eye.
'I can't deal with his emotions right now Ianto...please tell him for me...and come to see me later...both of you' she said.
Ianto held up a hand to Jack to stop his progress across the hub towards them and Jack stopped puzzled but compliant to their obvious need for privacy. Gwen got up and made her way towards the door.
'Ianto...when I die...I don't know what..if anything..is on the other side...but if I can...when it's your time...I'll be waiting for you' she said.
Ianto nodded, the tears beginning to run down his face despite his determination to hold them back. Gwen hugged him.
'Make me wait a long time Ianto' she whispered before slipping out of the hub for the final time.
Ianto turned back and looked to where Jack was still watching. He took a deep breath and prepared to pass on the bad news.
TW
Ianto gave a convulsive sob. How could life be so cruel? Gwen had chosen to leave Torchwood, had chosen Rhys and her children and the universe was going to take her away from them. He had seen Toshiko die and now Gwen was leaving. Please God let Owen be creating chaos in Cardiff he prayed.
He wanted to cry for his friend and for himself but the scene faded and he saw himself much younger again entering the hub. Ianto's breath caught as once more he watched his beautiful friend Toshiko sitting elegantly at her monitor.
TW
Ianto came rushing across the hub and into Jack's office.
'Jack...can I use your shower?' he asked.
'Of course...why?' asked Jack.
It was the middle of the day and Ianto had just returned from his lunch break. Showers in the middle of the day were usually the result of chasing aliens or very inventive sexual activity. Jack knew Ianto had not been out chasing aliens and he would have serious words if the need to shower arose from sex that hadn't involved him.
'Just been to get my hair cut...it's been driving me mad and we never seem to have the time to fit in mundane things like that...need to get all the little hairs off me before I scratch myself to death' said Ianto.
Jack smiled. It was true that everyday matters like haircuts tended to take second place to saving the world, but he was enjoying watching Ianto squirm with itchiness.
'Ok' he indicated his underground room.
'Thanks...I'll make you a drink when I'm finished' offered Ianto.
'Ianto' said Jack.
'Yes?' Ianto stopped in his travels towards Jack's bunker.
'You look very cute wriggling like that...and all flushed with rushing back' smiled Jack.
Ianto stood up straight looking annoyed.
'I am not cute' he said in a miffed tone.
Jack just smiled and waved him away to his shower. He emerged ten minutes later washed and in a new set of clothes, his hair still wet. Jack grinned at him as he stepped into his office.
'Even more cute with wet hair' announced Jack.
'Not cute Jack' insisted Ianto.
'We'll see' said Jack and strode across his office and whipped open the door. Only Toshiko was at present on the main floor of the hub.
'Tosh' shouted Jack.
'Yes' said the Japanese woman looking up.
'Is Ianto cute?' Jack asked.
'Yes' said Toshiko simply.
'Tosh!' objected Ianto 'puppies are cute...kittens are cute...babies under one are cute...kids in their school play are cute...grown men in suits are not cute'
Toshiko looked up at them both and noticed the wicked grin on Jack's face and the slightly affronted look on Ianto's.
'In that case' she announced 'I would have to say that you are just incredibly hot'
She smiled as the grin faded from Jack's face and Ianto's mouth fell open to gape at her
TWTW
Ianto laughed. Toshiko was not often cheeky and so it was a double pleasure when she was. He was close to Toshiko and they had often spent time together especially whilst Jack had been away. There was never any sexual tension between them despite the fact that they both obviously found each other attractive. They had come to an unspoken agreement not to attempt to take their relationship beyond friendship and it had allowed them to relax in each other's company.
I want to go home and be called cute by Tosh. I want to go home and hug Gwen. I want to go home and love Jack. Dear God I even want to go home and be ridiculed by Owen. Let this be the time change that takes me home he prayed as the mist swirled around him.