Let me be home...let me be home...let me be home...Ianto repeated constantly to himself like a mantra as the mist continued to clear.
He looked around and despaired. If he had gone home his friends would be waiting but the hub was empty. A light was on in Jack's office and he could just make out the shape of the captain at his desk. Was he actually doing paperwork? Ianto found himself smiling at the notion.
The alarm sounded and Owen walked in. Ianto almost called out to the man before realising the futility of the gesture. He watched Jack come out of his office to see who had arrived.
TWTWTW
'Owen? You're in early' said Jack looking at the doctor down in the med lab where he had immediately gone on arrival.
'Needed another painkiller' explained Owen injecting himself with the medication.
'That wound going to be a problem?' asked Jack.
'No...it's quite superficial really..but I'll not be able to work out in the field for a week or so....lucky your ex boyfriend is such a bad shot' snarked Owen.
'He's not' announced Jack 'if he'd wanted you permanently disabled then it would have happened' he continued sadly.
'Great...good to know...any more crazy people from your past likely to show up and finish the job?' asked Owen testily.
'Shouldn't think so' said Jack biting his lip as he thought about the possibility.
Owen left the lab and moved up into the main hub with Jack, sitting on the old sofa giving the drugs time to work into his system. Jack came to sit with him.
'So...you going back to this Doctor chap?' asked Owen.
Jack turned to look at him.
'I believe I answered that question when Ianto asked it...I came back because this is where I belong...I came back for all of you'
'And Ianto?' queried Owen.
'Most of all for Ianto' answered Jack quietly.
'Don't fuck him about Jack...don't pretend he's important if he's not...don't tell him you'll stay if you're going back to someone else' said Owen 'please' he finished softly.
Jack looked at him in surprise. Owen rarely showed emotion and never appeared to care about anyone. Owen shrugged as he saw the older man watching him in astonishment.
'You hurt him...since you've been gone every cell in his body has been taut with the effort of not letting the hurt show...yesterday some of them relaxed...I don't want him to suffer again'
'You saw this?' asked Jack still surprised.
'You had to be looking...Ianto's always contained...but yes..I saw'
'And you cared?' asked Jack.
'I'm his doctor' snarled Owen 'but Ianto is a good man...he's kind, thoughtful, generous...and he's just a kid...if you hurt him again I may have to thump you'
Owen smiled at him but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes and Jack recognised the reality of the threat.
'I'll try not to hurt him Owen...I've had a bad time..I need someone to love me and I think that someone could be Ianto...I'd like it to be Ianto' admitted Jack.
'What about him...will you love him back?' insisted Owen.
'I don't know Owen...but I'm willing to see' answered Jack earnestly.
'Humph' announced Owen eventually 'I'm surprised he's not in yet'
'He's in bed downstairs' said Jack.
'Oh my God..you don't waste time' Owen snorted.
'He only slept here...nothing more' said Jack 'yet..!' he winked at the medic and Owen rolled his eyes.
'Just remember I'm watching you Harkness' he threatened as his eyes drifted close as the drugs began to take effect.
'I'll remember Owen' whispered Jack.
TW
Ianto watched open mouthed. Toshiko had surprised him when she confronted Jack about hurting him, but he had always known she cared. Owen's challenge however deeply shocked him. He wanted to weep for the concern the medic had shown. He had not known Owen had spoken to Jack like this, neither man had mentioned it to him. If and when he returned home he was going to spend time with each of his friends appreciating them and loving them whilst they were still around for him to do so.
TWTWTW
The mist cleared and yet again people Ianto did not recognise came into focus. But that was Lucy, he recognised her from before. She was still there, but she was an older and sterner Lucy. Ianto's heart contracted, where was Michael? Was the fierce look on Lucy's features an indication that Michael was lost to them?
He watched himself and Jack emerge from the direction of the underground car park.
TW
'Ianto...when you've dealt with clean up and cover stories I want to speak with you' said Jack indicating his office.
Ianto nodded and moved to fulfil his duties. Twenty minutes later he had drinks and was entering Jack's office with them.
Jack had an unreadable look on his face.
'Ianto...I don't want you out in the field anymore' he insisted.
'What?' asked Ianto startled.
'You are confined to office duties' reiterated Jack.
'No way Jack...if I'm going to work for Torchwood then I take the same risks as everybody else' stated Ianto.
This was a conversation they had worked through several times. Whenever Ianto was injured Jack would beg him to stay safe in the hub, keep himself out of danger so that Jack could be with him for longer.
Jack sighed, he knew this was not going to be easy but it had to be done. The only way of convincing Ianto would be to force him to realise his obligations to the whole team and that would not be pretty.
'Ianto...you are a liability in the field...you're forty eight years old...you can't run as fast...your reactions are slow...the team make allowances for you and it will end in one of them being injured...or worse' he said quietly.
Ianto felt the tears begin behind his eyes. He knew Jack was right, he was not as fit as he had been when he was younger. The rest of the team were faster and they did make allowances, Ianto had seen it and refused to acknowledge it. He didn't want to be too old for active duty because that might make him too old for Jack.
He hung his head, not speaking and letting the tears roll down his face unchecked. Jack came around to him and pulled him up into a hug.
'It'll be ok Ianto' he said.
'No it won't...I'm getting grey hairs...I'm too soft to run...too slow to keep up...I can't stay here to watch you slowly leave me Jack' he sobbed.
Jack pushed him away and looked at him sternly.
'Who said anything about leaving you?' he asked sharply.
'Oh come on Jack...I'm getting old...I don't want it to be true but it is' stated Ianto.
'So?' asked Jack.
'You don't need to be with an old man Jack' answered Ianto in defeat.
'No I don't need to be' agreed Jack 'I want to be'
Ianto looked up at him with hope returning to his expression.
'Really?' he asked still unsure.
'Really' answered Jack kissing him 'I want you out of danger so that you get to be really old and really grey and I get to keep you for a long time' he said nuzzling the other man's neck.
'But we have to think of the team...your skills have always lain with creating cover stories and clean up anyway...now you'll just specialise...and you can still come with us on intelligence missions...just let the kids take the fast stuff' he continued.
Ianto nodded but looked up at Jack earnestly.
'I would let you go Jack...anytime...it will break my heart but I would do it for you' he said.
Jack gulped.
'And that's what makes you a better man than me Ianto...because I won't let you go...you're the closest thing to normal I've ever had...I want to have it forever...and for the record I love your grey hair...very distinguished...very sexy'
The two men relaxed in each other's arms. A new stage of their relationship had just begun. Neither of them had really expected it to get this far, Torchwood rarely had cause to worry about aging issues. But they were glad to be together, it gave them both something they needed.
TW
It felt odd to see himself worrying about getting older, he had never had cause to be concerned before about age related issues. Which was odd in itself, considering that Jack was so much older than him. Ianto smiled slightly, his age would show on his face but Jack's only ever showed in his eyes and only then in his more unguarded moments. He determined that if he got back to his Jack he would remember that the other man would always be older than him and try not to be too concerned about where that age showed.
The scene faded and another appeared.
TWTWTW
Toshiko watched with joy as Ianto appeared in front of her. He was back.
'Jack!!' she screamed and rushed over to hug her returned teammate.
Toshiko gasped in horror as she fell straight through Ianto and he did not register her presence at all but continued to look towards Jack's office.
Jack came rushing out of his office at the sound of Toshiko's cry and stopped stunned to see his lover in front of him.
'Ianto' he gasped.
'I can't touch him Jack...he can't hear me...what's going on?' said Toshiko.
'At least he's here' said Jack running down the stairs to meet him, his breath catching when his hand fell straight through his lover as he tried to touch him.
Jack joined Toshiko on the main floor and they headed for her monitor to check and scan what was apparently only an image of Ianto. Scans showed it was really him and Toshiko continued to work to try to discover why he did not respond to them.
Gwen and Owen returned to the hub stopping immediately inside the door as they both saw Ianto.
'Oh my God Ianto!' exclaimed Gwen rushing towards him.
Jack and Toshiko had a moment of hope when Ianto turned in apparent response to Gwen's shout. But he turned to look at Toshiko's station, ignoring Gwen as she fell through him in an attempt at a hug.
'Jack? What's going on?' asked Owen 'what's wrong with Ianto?'
'We don't know Owen' replied Jack 'he suddenly appeared but is not responding to us and as you can see we can't touch him'
Ianto turned again and looked towards the main hub door that Owen and Gwen had walked through just a short while ago.
'Oh God Jack... look' whispered Toshiko.
Jack stooped to gaze at her monitor and his shoulders fell in defeat.
'What is it?' asked Owen.
'Ianto is approximately seventy three seconds behind us in time' answered Toshiko.
'That's pretty precise for an approximation Tosh' smiled Owen.
Toshiko gave a weak smile in response.
'It also explains why he keeps turning and looking where we have just been...he's watching what we have done...not what we are doing...' continued Toshiko.
Jack left her side and walked towards Ianto. He held his hand up, palm toward Ianto and just stood in front of him waiting.
'Tosh...try to get a fix on him' he demanded not moving from his new position.
'Trying Jack' answered Toshiko.
'If he is seeing seventy three seconds behind us we can leave him a message...write something quick' said Gwen suddenly realising the opportunity. Owen was already scribbling.
'What do I write?' he stopped suddenly not knowing what to say.
Is there anything we could tell him to do that would help?' Gwen asked Toshiko.
'No' said Toshiko sadly.
'Jack...what are you doing?' asked Gwen in exasperation as Jack had still not moved from his position in front of Ianto with his hand held up.
'I had the idea first...I'm leaving him a message' answered Jack.
The other three watched as Ianto caught up to their time and held his own hand up to Jack's, a smile appearing on his face as he did so. He looked up, seemingly directly at Jack and then suddenly disappeared.
Jack sagged, knowing his lover had been pulled to another time but relieved he had at least seen Jack's gesture of support. He would know they were looking for him, missing him.
'Jack...he left a stronger signature this time...I think I may be able to track him more accurately if I process this into my calculations' said Toshiko quietly.
It could not make up for having seen Ianto, been so close but then losing him again. But it might give them hope, something to work with. Jack gulped down his tears and nodded at Toshiko, leaving the floor to deal with his grief alone in his office.
The other three returned to work subdued but with some renewal of hope and determination.
'But why could we see him?...he still wasn't in our time with us....we've never seen him before' puzzled Gwen.
'Don't know' answered Toshiko shortly not stopping her calculations.
Gwen looked around at Owen unable to let go of her question. Owen shrugged.
'We don't really understand any of it Gwen...doesn't really matter why...let's just keep working' he said.
TW
Ianto breathed his hope out. He had quickly realised he was close to his own timeline as the team were discussing his loss.
Toshiko had screamed and could obviously see him and then so did Jack and the rest of the team. That was new, and probably just a result of being so close to his proper time. He must have been within a few minutes or even seconds of the correct time as Jack had been able to stand close and offer his hand in a gesture of support.
Maybe he would be returned to his own time by accident. Would he be able to stay if he was? Or would he be whipped away from them all again until he could be pulled free of this time whirl?
Seeing Jack and the team working for him, missing him had given Ianto pain. But it had also renewed his hope.