Chapter III

Bitter taste

Emptiness… a life of emptiness. Wasn't one supposed to have a purpose in life? He had had a purpose once…a desire to fulfill, an aim…a goal to reach. It was a morbid one indeed, but a purpose none the less.

Morbid…what is morbid? What is beautiful?

Beauty must be somewhat enjoyable.

Emptiness…is emptiness beautiful? Or is it morbid and frightening? His life had been morbid and frightening…but it hadn't been empty…

Death wasn't empty…death must be…

"Ciel?" a ghostly voice echoed in his mind.

Ciel Phantomhive opened his eyes to see a familiar sight. In a dry, obscene way, it felt almost pleasant to look at the clammy grey soil underneath his feet again and take in the yellowish scenery surrounding him. It was without doubt a lifeless image but one that held the memory of relief and even comfort for the boy. He breathed in the air that filled his body like ash, turning his entire being into a seemingly empty vessel, one willing to merge itself with the barren wasteland.

"Ciel."

Yet he could not rest. Ciel had to keep himself alive, if only just to turn around and see the one uttering the wretched name that had robbed him from an eternity of pain and fulfillment. Breathing in once more, this time to gather the last bit of strength that rested inside of him, he stepped to the side, slightly rejoicing in the feeling of dry dust on his limbs, and razed his gaze to meet that of the ghostly figure with glowing white skin and clear blue eyes.

She smiled at him warmly as they looked into each other's eyes as time seemed to stand still.

"You despair so easily." She then uttered, making the sands of time brush over the dry earth once more.

"Despair?" Ciel spoke the word, as if it carried a bitter taste.

"You are angry that you were brought back from hell? Why not embrace the new life?"

"What is there to embrace?" Ciel voiced lifelessly. The damned name and the mere idea of welcoming the newly received curse brought with it great disgust to the boy, yet he somehow was unable to show anger or distaste.

"A new purpose." She stated calmly, her tranquil gaze resting on his features.

Ciel wanted to laugh. He wanted to scream at her, clutch her neck and tear her tranquility from her glowing shape. How dare she utter such nonsense! There was no new purpose to take hold on in his God forsaken existence. Did she not understand the void in his being? What could possibly fill that emptiness, that black, cold, suffocating emptiness that was breaking him, tormenting him, overwhelming him with its cold claws?

"A new game."

Ciel stared at her solemn expression as she voiced the last three words. He felt his limbs go numb and his body start to ache. A burning pain was slowly crawling over his body, blades of anguish piercing through his chest as his knees began to tremble. He could feel his pulse throb in his neck, a cry of pain forming in his throat as a cold shudder seeped into his being.

"There is no going back Ciel." He could hear her voice thunder in his head. "You must feel the pain he is feeling. You are bound together and your cries will not change that."

His vision was quickly darkening, only the light of her cold skin keeping him from falling into darkness.

"You've always liked playing games, Ciel Phantomhive. Now is the time for you to use your skills and play the game anew."

His eyelids were growing far too heavy for him to fight the growing darkness. Her last words were but a whisper and yet he remembered them clearly.

"Gather your pawns and believe in your bond. The game has begun and only you can play it…"

................

Someone was screaming. Somewhere, in the deep darkness of his being, he heard desperate cries and pleads. As if thrown into icy water, Ciel felt his whole body shudder as he finally managed to open his eyes. He recognized the desperate cries to be his own as he clasped a sweaty hand against his mouth, clutching at his shaking body as he tried to calm himself. His voice died out as his breathing began to grow steady.

He had unconscientiously risen into sitting position and was slowly loosening his hold over his forearms, feeling a burn where he had tightened his grip. Blinking lazily, he tried to concentrate on the slight prickling sensation. Relaxation overwhelmed his body in what seemed like minutes, an unearthly sensation of stillness and silence surrounding the boy as he finally decided to raise his gaze and face the world that had apparently been so eager to welcome him back.

Suddenly he felt a new chilling shudder streaming through his body as he recognized his surroundings. His eyes grew wide as he found himself not sprawled on the muddy soil, between the ruins he had first woken up to, but in an all too familiar setting, a chamber which would be otherwise fit for a lord if not burned down, leaving only remnants of the majestic art pieces and furniture that once decorated the mighty dwelling of the former Phantomhive family.

The walls of his room were completely burned down, save for some pillars that kept the specks of roof above his head, offering some meager form of shelter from the cold autumn air. His bed, on which he was now sitting, had miraculously survived, among the coal like forms of his desk, his armchair, his former imposing wardrobe that was now reduced to ash. They days he had spent between these four walls, making use of the elegant furniture in such a wasteful and yet practical way, just so he could work on his revenge in the shadows while mimicking a stubborn, hard working lord. And all the while accompanied by the greatest jester of all times, appropriately covered by a refined mask of servitude and obedience, who would be ever by his side.

Deep down, he knew he longed for those days. He hated to admit it, but he believed the words of the ghost, that there was no going back, and he craved for the days when he had known the reason for still breathing and had had Sebastian by his side to remember him of his purpose.

A high pitched shriek made Ciel jump slightly, as he glanced to his side to see a black crow hovering in front of the shattered fragments of the nearest window, the sleek bird flapping its wings furiously as it directed its cry at the faintly surprised boy. As if driven by a foreign force, Ciel jumped from the bed and reached out for the crow, his weak legs however hindering him from getting to the window before the flustered creature disappeared from his sight.

Collapsing in front of the shattered window frame, Ciel had to catch his breath before raising his gaze at the grey sky, its dim light seeping through every dent and gap of the roof and walls. Eyes narrowed, he tried to make out a black spot in the vast realm of dark rain clouds but could find nothing other than a rise in his own frustration. Slowly raising himself to his feet only to trip and fall next to the wooden frame of his bed of former glory, he clenched his now shaking fists, as his eyes glared hatefully at his trembling meager flesh. Ciel began screaming out of anger, hate, despair any and every emotion that was raging inside of him, causing tears of agony to stain his cheeks once again.

No amount of screaming could quench his anger, yet after some time, Ciel felt silent. He stared into nothingness, his gaze empty of all emotion.

..............

Soon after, he rose to his feet, taking his time to adjust to his weakened state and pacing carefully throughout the room, using every solid object to support himself. His mind felt numb at the beginning, the anger that had pumped through his being having taken its toll on his thoughts and physical strength. But as he slowly began placing one step after another through the remains of his bedroom, his thoughts started to connect into basic, logical statements.

He had woken up amongst old ruins. He had talked to a girl who was very similar to the figure he had faced in his dreams, or better said, nightmares. He wasn't sure how to call that dimension of barren wasteland. All he knew is that the ghost and the girl looked exactly alike, the only difference being that one of them seemed to be human, a self confident, not to say foolish human.

Sebastian had been right beside him. Why had the demon been there? Shouldn't he be long gone, in some distant part of the world? Ciel hadn't given much thought of what would happen to the demon after he would devour Ciel's soul but given that it was Sebastian, the boy was sure that it would all have worked out … comfortably for him. And yet, the demon had been lying there, battered and bruised alongside him.

Ciel raised his hand, gingerly placing his fingers on his cold cheek. The way in which the demon had looked at him had been strange. It felt as if he had needed to check and feel that Ciel was real. The demon's gaze was different than usual.

Ciel closed his eyes, remembering the demon's entire appearance. The boy regretfully admitted to himself that he had felt the demon's absence and that he had relished a faint sense of security with the demon by his side.

Sebastian's gaze had been however far to insecure for the demon…red eyes had always been bearers of strength…eyes the color of blood…of flaming flesh….the eyes of a crow…

The crow…

Ciel turned abruptly towards the window, placing firm steps in the shattered window's direction.

Why was he back at the Phantomhive manor…how did he get there? Ciel had yet to figure out many things. He was no where near figuring out what the ghost meant by "a new game". But one thing was for certain. Something was tugging him in Sebastian's direction and the young Earl was sure that a possible new purpose for his life was directly linked to the demon he knew as Sebastian Michaelis.

A/N

and here's the third one. I actually wanted to add more to this chapter, as in Sebastian's appearance...but I just couldn't manage...it's already late and I really have to hit the sack...

anyways...Sebastian will probably appear in the next chapter....and we'll get to find out more about his own predicament...

Thank you very much for the story alerts and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well...

Reviews are really very much appreciated.