A/N- Ok so we hate to do this to you all, but you have given us no choice.....where are all you lurkers at? Cause over 60 of you have this bad boy on story alert so I know that you are reading (gives all lurkers the evil eye). So here's the deal hit that little green button on the bottom. Call it a roll call if you will. Let us know if this is still tickling your fancy and you'll get a little teaser (gasps) that's right a teaser. And believe me......you want to be teased. Sound good?

As always off-the-deep-end is fantastic and anyone who hasn't should move their browsers right on over to her story good bella bad bella cause its good enough to read before bed.

Enjoy!

***

I lost myself. In that moment there was only Bella and my desperate need to have her. That and the desperate craving to be possessed by her. We were just there in that office where I first met her and I was so pissed and I just lost everything: control, sense, everything.

I felt like an animal.

Nobody has ever made me lose control like that before. Ever. And I liked it after I was sure that I didn't hurt her.

It's sort of a catch-22 because as much as I liked it, I didn't. Losing control like that… knowing somebody can make you lose control like that; it's dangerous. It's dangerous because I can see myself giving her everything.

I lie back on my bed and pull the pillow that Bella slept on last night to my chest. The coconut smell is still on it.

I press my phone to my ear and listen to the ring. I need to talk to my mom.

"Edward? Hi, baby. Is everything okay?" she asks all at once.

I feel a smile twitch at my lips and press my face into the pillow before answering. "I'm good, Mom. How are you?"

"Umph," she grunts. "I'm trying to drag this ridiculous box of knives into the house. It weighs a ton. Your dad."

I laugh. "Leave it outside. Don't hurt yourself."

She huffs at me then. "Hurt myself? How old do you think I am?"

"I'm not saying that you're old," I backtrack and try to hold back my laugh. "I'm saying you shouldn't have to suffer for his infomercial obsession."

"Yeah, well, we all make sacrifices for the people we love. He buys things from TV at 3:00 in the morning, I make him watch at least one George Clooney movie a week. It's an even trade."

I press my face into the pillow and laugh for real this time. My mom has had a crush on George Clooney from the first movie he came out in.

"So, what's up, baby? How are you? How's work? How's the new girl?"

"Ah, I'm good. Work is work. How's dad doing?"

"Dad's great, Edward. And the girl? What's her name again" she repeats.

"Bella, mom. Her name is Bella."

She lets out a contented sigh in and I roll my eyes. Mom can be melodramatic when she wants to be. "And? How are things going? When do I get to meet her?"

I clear my throat. "One at a time, Mom."

"Fine. How are things going?"

"Great. Better than great, actually," I say and can't help but picture Bella in my mind. "She's fantastic. So independent and funny and adorable. I'm already in so deep mom."

Instantly I know I've revealed too much. I close my eyes and sigh.

"Already? That's quick Edward. And you just broke up with Hannah."

"Hannah and I have been over for ages mom," I say with a laugh. "You know that better than anyone. And Bella, she just, I can't get enough of her."

"Oh," she says and sighs with relief. "Good. So she's not like Hannah?"

"No. No, not at all."

"Oh, thank god."

"Mom!"

"Well, come on, Edward. I mean, I didn't want to say anything before but she was just… she wasn't suited for you. Not for the Edward I raised anyway."

I rub my forehead and sigh. "Why didn't you say anything to me?"

"Some things, sweetheart, you have to figure out for yourself."

***

There is something mildly irritating about people being able to find you wherever you are. It takes away the freedom that the phrase "I was out" gives you. Because no matter where "out" may be they can find you. I glance down at my phone and its irritating message "3 missed calls" and promptly shove it to the bottom of my purse. It's probably sad that I find a strange sense of victory in that act alone.

I refocus on the task at hand and flick my feet in the pool below. It's definitely too cold to be barefoot with my feet in the boat pond and most likely completely unsanitary, but those things are low on my list of priorities at the moment. So I dip my toes in again, shudder and enjoy the goose bumps that trail down my arms as a result.

A little boy walks by and smiles, his two front teeth missing and I can't help but smile back. I can have this moment. No guilt allowed. It's the weekend so I am work free and I left Edward's this morning on good terms so I know he has no reason to be frantically searching the city and thus irritating Emmett. It's a good feeling. Things are going so well in my life. So perfectly that I feel like something is bound to go wrong.

Something movie tragic like someone I love being run down by a rogue horse drawn carriage or my vision suddenly going. Something. Things can't be this good. They just can't.

And that's the feeling that draws me to the one place in the world I truly feel like nothing can touch me. My own personal Disneyland. Simon's. My feet slosh around in my shoes, there was no time to dry them off when such comfort is needed.

The bell chimes as I walk in and instantly I feel a little lighter. Simon glances up from the counter and waves me over. He's on the phone, but I hop up on the counter and reach behind it to look at the new order. He swats my hand away and I pout dramatically.

I slide off the counter and browse through the racks, moving misplaced records and pulling ones I want to listen to.

"You haven't been in in awhile," Simon calls to me as he hangs up the phone. I shrug. How long is long anyways? Wasn't he trying to get me out the last time I was here anyways?

"Does that mean things are going well with 23?" I don't miss the teasing in his tone, but I bristle at the words none the less. They don't fit. I won't let them.

"Not 23, Simon. His name is Edward," I correct him. It's not til the words leave my mouth that I realize the fatal mistake. I have given him too much information. And in turn vocalized what I have been trying to avoid. Edward's importance in my life.

"Edward? This one gets a name? Is there something you want to tell me Iz?" Simon's voice gets louder as he approaches me. I frantically finger through the records trying to find Simon & Garfunkel before he can corner me between the S's and T's. I ease around him and make my way back to the front of the store to the record player. I gently lay Bookends down and let it play.

"So this one is different then?" Simon asks again, somehow right next to me. I chew on my lip and simply nod. I'm not going to do Edward the injustice of lying.

"More than a number," I offer. Simon whistles lowly and leans back against the counter. I can tell he's weighing the options in his mind, trying to find the best way to weasel information out of me before I can escape his questions. The distant chimes of my cell phone somehow harmonize with Simon and Garfunkel and I feel my face flush.

"I don't remember that being part of the song," Simon chides. I dig through my bag and pull out the offending object. The smile that crosses my face at the sight of his name even makes me a little ill.

"Well, answer it," Simon pushes. I flip the phone open and before I even hear his voice I feel a little more at ease. All horse drawn carriages are under control for the time being.

"Hey love," I answer. Because it feels right; because I want to.

"I just passed a special on penguins on the animal planet and thought of you." His voice is different over the phone, it loses some of its warmth, but it still has the same effect.

"Yeah? I'm sad I missed that. I'm sure I'll wander across it again, or Emmett will TiVo it for me." Emmett is obsessed with TiVo to a seriously unhealthy level. I should probably find him a support group for that….

"So what are you doing?" I glance up at Simon who is watching me with unnatural interest. I move away from the counter slightly.

"Oh I'm just catching up on some musical therapy. Is TV your friend for the day?" I ask. I can see him on his couch, now happily devoid of matching pillows. I almost want to be there.

"Only if you don't want to be," he answers. I gnaw on the inside of my cheek and glance over at Simon who is now failing at looking like he is not listening to the conversation by organizing something behind the counter. Edward's place is close to here he could be here in ten minutes. If I was ready.

It would be a step to bring him here of my own free will. To introduce him to the man who has been the closest thing to a father that I have ever known. I take a deep breath and nod to myself.

"If you don't mind being torn away from animal planet, there's someone I'd like you to meet," I offer. Simon's head pops up and the look is disbelief on his face is hard to miss.

"Tell me where. I just need to throw on some pants and I'll be right over," he answers instantly. I chuckle to myself.

"Why is it that you're not wearing pants love?" I really couldn't resist. He clears his throat and I laugh even harder.

"I'm not sure exactly what the appropriate response is….so, um, I was thinking about you?" he answers. I double over as the laughter takes over. It really isn't funny, but just the thought and then Simon standing so close. I control my laughter long enough to give him the address and then snap my phone shut.

"You have a cell phone," Simon states. I look at the phone and back him not humoring him with a response.

"Do I have to remind you what you think about cell phones?" he asks. I roll my eyes and shove the phone back to the bottom of my purse before tossing the purse in the general direction of the backroom. No one else that matters should be calling, or even knows about the phone for that matter.

"No I am very aware of the many lectures I have given on the evil that is the cell phone," I sigh. I distract myself once again with the record and skip forward a couple of songs.

"And you have one of the evil machines because…." Simon leads. I sigh and face him. This is one of the easier questions I suppose he is going to have for me and I invited Edward here which means I opened myself up to this.

"Sometimes it just makes sense for people to be able to find you," I offer. Makes sense enough. Just enough detail without any damning evidence thrown in. That is if I were talking to a stranger and not my pseudo father.

"So you wanted Edward to be able to find you," he clarifies. I nod. Why lie at this point?

"Is there anything else I should know before this boy shows up here?" Simon asks. I chew on my cheek and glance at the door. Any time now.

"I'm not really sure what I'm doing, but I know that I don't want to him to leave any time soon," I answer hesitantly. Simon nods.

"So I should be nice to this kid," he states.

"Please," I reply. He nods and the chimes on the door ring. Showtime. I glance over at the door to see Edward looking around in a mixture of awe and fear. Suddenly the forbidden closet races to the front of my mind. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

His eyes finally meet mine and I smile and meet him halfway. I trail my hand down his arm before linking my fingers with his. It's the most PDA I'm going to give in front of Simon.

"Thanks for coming. I know how hard it is to resist the call of pantless channel surfing," I tease hoping to lighten the mood. He shrugs and I watch as his eyes dart around the store not resting in any one place for too long. When his eyes finally come back to me I can't read what's there.

"It's pointless when everything reminds me of you. Thanks for answering your phone by the way. I'm surprised you remembered to charge it," he rambles. I roll my eyes.

"Despite the fact that I hadn't previously owned one doesn't mean I don't know how they work," I state. I glance over at Simon who is watching us with a careful smile on his face.

"So I wanted you to meet Simon," I inform him, pulling him towards the counter. He follows easier, still lost in the store and maybe something else.

"Simon this is my Edward and Edward this is Simon, the man who pretends to be my father," I offer. They both exchange glances and for a moment I worry that they're going to have it out, but then Simon grins and offers his hand.

"It's nice to meet the kid who has finally tied Izzy down to a cell phone," he smiles. Thank you Simon. But all my anger subsides as Edward laughs and takes his hand.

"It was probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. It's nice to meet you," Edward answers. I can't help my jaw from falling open. Are they bonding over faulting me?

"I'm sure it was no small deed. You should be rewarded. Pick out anyone album in the store, on me," Simon offers. Simon doesn't give free music to anyone. Except me.

"Ah thanks," Edward answers, but he doesn't do straight for the stacks like I do when offered. Instead he keeps his hand in mine and his focus on Simon. I'm almost tempted to pick one out for him.

"How long have you been here?" he asks Simon. I begin to trace patterns on the countertop. They obviously are more into each other than me.

"You're going to make me feel like the old man I am. We opened in 71," he answers. I can hear the pride in his voice even if he acts like it's a bad thing.

"Best damn record store in the city," I add boastfully. I can do that, he's my, well he's my Simon.

"Probably the only record store in the city at this point Iz," he corrects. I roll my eyes and lean a little on Edward; I just need a little more than his hand. The warmth of his body radiates into mine and I feel my shoulders relax a little.

"That's pretty damn cool. You know…I've, um, been looking for Bob Dylan's Bringing It All Back Home for forever," Edward states and my mouth literally falls open. Is he really going to talk music with Simon? After avoiding it so thoroughly with me. Simon clicks his tongue and disappears in the back for a minute before emerging with the album. Edward shakes his head and laughs.

"You don't come across these very often, but I keep good ones like this in the back for special customers. You've got good taste kid," Simon says as he passes Edward the record. Edward takes it almost reverently and turns it over in his hands a few times.

"I'm going to pay for this by the way," he adds. Simon shakes his head and holds up his hands.

"I owe you a record. Give me Iz's number and we'll call it even. It'll be good to be able to check in on that free spirit every once in awhile," Simon answers. I feel by brow crease. When did I cease to exist here? I try to pull away from Edward to show my distaste, but he holds tight.

"So you a musician? Not many of the common folk appreciate vintage Dylan," Simon offers. I feel my breath hitch as I wait for his answer. I have guessed at the answer and even though the closet confirmed it to an extent, he's never said anything close to an answer. He squeezes my hand like he can feel my apprehension.

"I used to play…no time for it really anymore," he answers simply. Is that his answer? Because he has time to surf animal planet and chase me around the city, but not play? Bullshit.

"That's a pity man. I know what it's like to be taken from the music and it's not pretty. You should make the time. I know Iz here would gladly share you. She has a thing for musicians," Simon says and I feel my face hit an all time red record. Damn him. And now I know why most people avoid having their, others, meet their parents. Moments like this. At least there are no photo albums in the back to be broken out. I'm not even sure Renee has a photo album…

"Well," Edward smirks," Maybe I'd be better off staying away from the guitar if her exes are any indication of anything." He leans down and kisses my cheek, but I pull away feeling patronized rather than cared for.

He and Simon both laugh like they are in on some fucking inside joke and I am regretting arranging this get together.

"Yeah number 17 was something else," Simon chuckles. And he would know Jeb's number. Edward glances at me with confusion and suddenly I feel the urge to leave.

"Well, we'd better get going. I don't want to keep you from customers and Edward has a date with his TV," I announce. Edward and Simon look around the empty store before I begin to tug Edward towards the exit.

"Bella, my record!" Edward chastises, "At least let me say thank you and good bye."

"Yes BELLA. Don't be rude," Simon states. I roll my eyes.

"Thanks so much Simon. It's always nice to be reminded that music is greater than all things. Even the pull of women," I tease. Edward returns from the counter and pulls me into him. His lips lower and I turn my head so he gets my cheek. He laughs.

"You're fucking great," he states lowly, out of Simon's earshot.

"Thanks again Simon," he calls as we leave.

"Not a problem. Force her to bring you back again," Simon answers. I flip him off as we walk out.

"Better than Dylan?" I test. He chuckles and pulls me into his side.

"Well, I definitely wouldn't kiss Dylan," he answers. I give him a small shove.

"Or do anything dirty with Dylan and I doubt Dylan would ever have me running around the botanical gardens looking at orchids, so yeah, way better than Dylan," he finishes. And just like that with those words I'm happy. And that's why I'm worried. It's never this easy. I'm buying a rabbits foot.

***

"Y'okay, Emmett?" I ask because he's been sitting there drinking his Corona silently for five minutes. And silent Emmett is just really weird.

"He's doing that thinking thing again," Angela says and shudders dramatically. "Scary things happen when Emmett thinks."

He shoots her a dirty look before turning his attention back to me. I put my arm around Bella's shoulders and pull her into me. Because I can.

"I was just wondering…" he takes a long drink from his beer before continuing. "If you film yourself fucking a girl without her knowing, do you think you can get in trouble?"

"Obviously, dip shit," Angela says. "And how many times do I have to tell you that saying whatever comes into your head isn't a good idea?"

Bella laughs. Emmett laughs. So I laugh. "How many times do I have to tell you that it really turns me on when you talk to me like that?"

"So… why were you thinking about that?" I ask.

Bella and Angela groan and Emmett laughs again. "I guess it's a good thing that I recorded over it."

Angela slaps his arm hard. "You're disgusting."

"I wasn't the one having the sex!" he exclaims as if that makes it better. "I just placed the camera."

"I'm gonna go get another round of drinks," I say, shaking my head. "Who wants?" Three hands go up in the air. I look at Bella. "You wanna come with me?"

She's been unusually quiet all night and I just want to make sure she's okay. She nods and stands next to me. "Same drinks, right?" I ask Emmett and Angela who are arguing again.

They nod without looking at me. "Come on," I say and put my arm around Bella's waist, pulling her with me. I dip my head so that my lips are next to her ear. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm just letting other people have there moment in the sun," she says and then leans up and presses her lips to mine. "I'm dandy. Promise."

I've developed a mental checklist of all of the things that I love about this girl: the way I feel every time she smiles up at me, like I'm worth knowing, worth liking, worth being around. I love all of the weird things that she likes to do on her free time. I love that she thinks it's perfectly normal that a middle-aged man who owns a record store downtown is like her father.

I pull her in front of me and put my hands on the bar around her. I love the way she feels pressed against me like this; the curve of her back matches the front of my body perfectly. Plus, I love the way her ass feels against me.

She places our order and I hand her some cash to pay with when the bartender comes back.

I dip my head again and press my lips to the side of her neck. I'm feeling the alcohol tonight. I slide my hands over her stomach and press her into me. "I love the way you feel against me," I whisper and bite gently on her earlobe.

"You love the way Captain Morgan is making me feeling against you," she says with a laugh that sounds a little bit like a groan.

"He's definitely making it that much better." I switch sides and push her hair out of my way so that I can kiss the warm skin there. "You smell good. Like coconuts. Every time I see a coconut I think of you."

"I think the good captain has stolen your brain mouth filter, love. I kinda adore it at this moment."

"Mmm." I suck on the skin behind her ear and slide my hands down to her hips. "I kinda adore everything about you."

Before she can respond my phone starts vibrating in my pocket. I curse and fish it out. "Why are you calling me, Emmett?" I ask when I answer.

"Because I can see you. And I can see the drinks getting warm and watery in front of you and Bella and that cute little make out session. You can do anything that doesn't involve me seeing your dick over here. Let's go."

He hangs up on me and I drop my forehead to Bella's shoulder and start laughing. "How do you even know this guy?" I ask her when my laughter finally subsides.

She slips out of my arms and grabs the drinks from the bar. Before I realize it she's walking away from me. The captain causes delayed reactions. I walk quickly to catch up to her.

"Some people," she says to me over her shoulder, "just stick with you no matter how hard you try to shrug them off." She sets Emmett's drink down in front of him and leans down to give him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Isn't that right, Em?"

"Sure, baby, whatever you say," he says and pushes the lime into his Corona. "The two of you got a little distracted and my beer suffered. I'm willing to overlook that only because nobody has ever been able to get Izzy to more than kiss her cheek and hold her hand in public."

"Really?" I ask Bella and squeeze her thigh once. "Does that make me special?"

"Sure, love. Feel special. Emmett has that effect on people," she says and I watch the pink spread rapidly on her cheeks. I love how easily she blushes.

"Oh, please," Angela scoffs. "It has nothing to do with Emmett who just likes to blurt things out without thinking. I do give you points for this one though."

"I get points?" he asks and puts a hand on his chest.

"Yeah, but they mean nothing because you were at negative 343. Now you're just at negative 340."

He puts one of his big beefy arms around her shoulders and pulls her tightly into his chest. I laugh when she slaps at him. "Listen," he tells her, "I'm getting closer to the win. That's all that matters."

When he finally releases her, she takes a deep breath and feigns annoyance at him. "Stop trying to impress me by sticking my face in your chest. It's not cute, I'm not impressed, and it hurts," she says and finishes off her drink.

Emmett laughs. He must burn thousands of calories daily by laughing when other people yell at him. "Iz," he says loudly. "Are you being so quiet because you're thinking of all the things you wanna do to Edward later?"

She rolls her eyes at him. "No, Emmett, I'm this quiet because I'm mentally undressing you right now," she deadpans and Angela snorts with laughter.

"I think I should be… insulted?" I say to her. "That you're mentally undressing him and not me?"

"It's nothing personal, Edward," Emmett says before Bella can answer. "She's seen me without my clothes on and just can't help herself."

"Here we go," Angela mumbles.

He grins at her. "But you are the first dude that she's ever let sleep in her bed before."

I turn to look at her then, trying to see if this is true. Trying to figure out what it means.

"Emmett," she says through clenched teeth, "you're done with Coronas for the night. You have diarrhea of the mouth and are letting all my secrets out of that cavern of a brain."

"Oh, what's the big deal?" Angela asks. "We like Edward."

"Exactly. We ALL like Edward but if Emmett doesn't shut his big mouth, Edward is going to run for the hills. And rightly so."

I laugh now and pull her face to mine so I can kiss her. I press my mouth against hers for a noisy, sort of sloppy kiss. When she pulls away I tug her into my side again. "Bella, I wouldn't run for the hills 'less you were comin' with me."

"You say that now, love," she mumbles and shifts in her seat.

"Oh, shut up, Iz," Angela says. "Nobody's running anywhere."

But I don't want to be here anymore right now. I wanna go home and show her exactly what I mean when I say that there isn't a chance in hell that I'll run away from her. I want to show her everything that I feel so that hopefully she'll stop fidgeting. I want to take her home and make whatever's wrong with her tonight disappear.

I squeeze her leg. "Bella." I fake a yawn when she looks at me and Emmett snorts. His laughter gets cut off by Angela's elbow in his ribs. "I'm tired."

"I think Edward has had enough of the two of you. I'm taking him home," she says and slips into her jacket.

"You two be good, yeah?" Emmett says with a wink.

"Likewise," I tell him and lean down to kiss Angela's cheek. "It was good seeing you again."

"And you. Bye, Iz."

Bella slips her hand into mine and I slip both into my pocket. It's fucking cold out but the captain is keeping me pretty warm.

"My place?" I ask.

She nods and tucks her face into her coat.

My place.