Shizuo had cornered Izaya in the bedroom, blocking off all escape routes.

"Izaya..." Shizuo growled as he took slow, menacing steps towards him, "I told you what would happen if you kept messing with me..."

Izaya smiled nervously. "C-come on, Shizu-chan. Let's be reasonable here."

"No. If I let you off easy today, then you're just going to do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. You're not going to stop unless I teach you a lesson."

Shizuo saw how Izaya's eyes darted to the door and back, obviously trying to gauge if he could reach it before Shizuo grabbed him.

As Shizuo took another step closer, Izaya made his move: he leapt across the bed and tried to make it to the door.

Shizuo was faster, and Izaya yelped as he was grabbed by the scruff of his shirt and pinned to the bed.

"N-no! Let me go!"

Izaya struggled, trying to free himself, kicking at Shizuo's shins to no avail.

And then Shizuo started tickling him.

Izaya shrieked as he dissolved into helpless giggles.

Normally, Shizuo wouldn't be so bold, but Izaya had every opportunity to get himself out of this, and he seemed to like letting things escalate.

It had gotten to the point where they came up with a safeword just in case one of them misjudged the situation, but miraculously, neither of them ever wound up actually using it. Shizuo wasn't sure if that was due to stubbornness or just sheer luck.

At one point, curiosity got the better of him, and Shizuo decided to just ask Izaya outright if he liked being tickled, but Shizuo couldn't get a straight answer out of him, only managing to receive a scoff and a "That's ridiculous" in response.

Maybe Izaya was just a masochist or something.

After a while of this, Shizuo slowed down a bit to give Izaya a chance to breathe.

"Is there anything you want to say?" Shizuo asked him.

Izaya scoffed, but it sounded more like a breathless pant. "If you're looking for an apology, you're not going to find one."

"You know what I'm asking. Are you still good to continue?"

"Well, if I say 'yes,' then you're just going to keep tickling me," Izaya replied with a huff.

"I suppose you've been punished enough," Shizuo mused as he let Izaya sit back up.

Izaya then looked at Shizuo's hair and smirked. "Oh, look, your hair's messed up again."

"Gee, I wonder how that happened," Shizuo responded sarcastically.

"I guess I'll have to fix it for you," Izaya said as he made a show of fixing Shizuo's hair.

Shizuo scoffed. "What's the point? You're just going to mess it up again."

"So ungrateful, Shizu-chan! I'm putting all this work into making your hair look nice, and this is the thanks I get?"

"You're the one who messed it up in the first place!"

"You have no proof that was me. After all, your assailant always did it when your back was turned, right?"

"You're the only other one in the apartment!" Shizuo retorted.

"Yes, I'm quite lucky that our mystery hair ruffler has decided to spare me. I don't think I could take it."

"Oh, really?"

Shizuo took that as a challenge and Izaya yelped as his hair was ruffled in turn.

"Whoops," Shizuo smirked. "Now your hair's messed up too."

"Oh, no! I'm dying! Shizu-chan, you have to fix it before I— blegh..." Izaya went limp, as if unconscious.

Shizuo nodded. "Looks like this will require hand-to-hair resuscitation," he said with the utmost seriousness.

Shizuo then proceeded to fix Izaya's hair as if he were a surgeon performing a delicate operation.

Izaya slowly came back to life, looking groggy. "Shizu-chan..." he said weakly, "is that you...?"

"Yes."

"Everything's so dark, Shizu-chan..."

"This calls for more drastic measures," Shizuo announced before he started massaging Izaya's scalp.

Izaya hummed in pleasure as he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

"Y'know, it would be a lot simpler to just ask for a scalp massage rather than pulling all this weird shit," Shizuo said.

Izaya smirked, but he didn't bother opening his eyes. "Well, where's the fun in that? Besides, you're the one who keeps going along with it even though you know it's not a punishment. You do know that you're just rewarding bad behavior, right?"

"Maybe I don't mind your bad behavior."

"Oh...?" Izaya sounded like he was about to fall asleep. "Then I must be failing in my job as a roommate..."

"Your job being to annoy me?"

"Exactly."

Shizuo chuckled and shook his head.

They fell into silence, and Shizuo just kept massaging him while Izaya practically melted into a puddle. After this went on for a while, Shizuo assumed that Izaya had fallen asleep, but then...

"Did you ever imagine that things could turn out like this, Shizu-chan?"

"Hm," Shizuo hummed thoughtfully, still massaging him. "Not really. I sometimes wondered what would have happened if we were friends instead of enemies, but I didn't think I'd be giving you literal massages or anything like that," he chuckled.

"I don't think anyone's ever even given me a massage before you started doing it. Even on the rare occasion that someone actually likes me, nobody's ever offered. Well, I probably wouldn't have accepted either way, but still, I'm kind of surprised that you're not more into massages yourself given how they're designed to help you relax."

"Well, massages feel weird!"

"Yes, I remember how you reacted when I tried to give you one on your birthday," Izaya chuckled at the memory. "I didn't think you'd freak out over it, though."

"I didn't 'freak out.'"

"You literally ran."

"No, I was just... walking very quickly."

Izaya huffed a laugh. "Well, now I know to just go straight to the cuddling if I'm trying to please you. But anyway, given the way your super-strength works, I'm curious if regular massages would make you even stronger. Who knows? Maybe I could make you impenetrable to bullets."

"I think I'm strong enough, thanks."

"Oh, you think so?"

And then Izaya did what got him in trouble in the first place: he ruffled Shizuo's hair.

"Argh!" Shizuo yelled. "You— Hey! Get back here!"

But Izaya had already leapt off the bed and made a mad dash for the door.

Shizuo tried to chase after him, but Izaya had enough of a head start that he had grabbed his coat and went out the front door before Shizuo could catch him. Shizuo kept chasing him even though he knew he didn't stand a chance at catching him at this point.

"Don't forget to lock the door, Shizu-chan!" Izaya called from the stairwell below.

Shizuo grumbled as he went back to lock the door. He already knew where Izaya was going anyway, and he wasn't exactly dressed for going out yet.

—·—·—·—

Now dressed in his bartender outfit, Shizuo made his way over to Shinra and Celty's apartment, where Izaya was already there waiting for him.

"Wow, Shizu-chan," Izaya lilted. "Took you long enough. I've been sitting here for hours."

Shizuo scowled. "You only left the apartment 20 minutes ago!"

Shinra walked into the room and greeted him, "Ah, Shizuo! Glad you could finally make it!"

"Why is everybody acting like I arrived late? Izaya just got here earlier than me."

Kadota and the rest of the van gang were already there, sitting at the table. "Oh, Shizuo!" Kadota exclaimed. "You made it!"

"Goddammit, I got here on time," Shizuo grumbled.

"Better luck next time, Shizu-chan~" Izaya chirped.

Haruto and Himari were over with Celty, who was currently demonstrating her lack of a head. Haruto just stared up at her with this enraptured look of awe, and even the usually-stoic Himari was completely stunned. Sozoro, meanwhile, did not seem to be particularly concerned by the mysterious headless woman, and instead just looked over the party as a whole.

Shizuo scowled when he saw Erika. She had recently suggested the idea of Shizuo and Izaya having a 'couple name' that combined both of their names. Shizuo didn't see the point, but Izaya had evidently latched on to the idea, and now Izaya would randomly announce that 'Shizaya has arrived,' prompting baffled reactions from anybody within earshot.

Thankfully, someone else tried to get his attention instead. "Shizuo-san!" Mairu waved at him.

Shizuo started heading over towards her, but he made a slight detour to lightly poke Izaya in the ribs as he walked by, eliciting a small, stifled squeak as he did so.

Shizuo leaned down and whispered in a low voice, "Ты получишь свое наказание позже." (You'll get your punishment later.)

He knew he managed to get his point across when Izaya literally flushed at the comment. Shizuo wouldn't have dared to say it if he thought anyone else in the room could understand him.

"Понял," Izaya whispered. (Understood.)

Shizuo smirked as he walked away.

From behind him, he heard Shinra stutter out a frantic "Wait wait, what was that? Was that Russian? What did he say?"

Shizuo was far enough away by now that he couldn't hear Izaya's response, but when he turned to look back, Izaya was staring at him, so Shizuo gave him a wink. He had to fight a laugh when Izaya scowled at him.

When Shizuo finally made it over to Mairu and Kururi, Mairu asked, "So, how's life with Iza-nii? He getting on your nerves yet?"

Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, not really. I pretend he is just because he seems to enjoy annoying me, but no, things have been pretty nice."

"Hey, so, seriously, what did he do to keep you from killing him back in Hokkaido?" Mairu asked.

"He didn't... do anything..." Shizuo said evasively.

"Ohhh, so something happened!" Mairu yelled excitedly. "What did he do?! There's no way you could have gotten along unless he was acting weird!"

"He was fine! He... he was just... nicer than usual."

"He seemed the same to us when we talked to him. Maybe you did something different."

"No. I think both of us changed, actually. Maybe he's not treating you any differently, but trust me, he's different."

"So I guess the deal we had where we kill Iza-nii in exchange for meeting Yuuhei is off the table now," Mairu wondered aloud, then looked back at Shizuo with a smirk. "Especially given how you're whispering sweet nothings to Iza-nii~"

Shizuo gaped at her. "I wasn't whispering— Damn it, shut up!"

"Denial..." Kururi chimed in. (Let your love be free!)

Shizuo groaned in annoyance, ignoring the fact that his face felt like it was burning now. "Whatever. And yes, the deal is off. Don't kill him."

"Would you let us meet Yuuhei if we set you up on a date with Iza-nii instead?" Mairu prodded.

"I can get a date with Izaya anytime I want!" Shizuo retorted, then paused as he realized the implication of that. "...I don't need a date with Izaya!"

"Then what if we—"

"How about this?" Shizuo interrupted before she could come up with another ridiculous suggestion, "You drop the subject, and I'll introduce you, no strings attached."

They both gasped in excitement.

"Oh, hell yeah!" Mairu yelled. "We can do that!"

"Victory..." Kururi said with a smile.

"Okay, let's go before he changes his mind!" Mairu grabbed her sister by the wrist and dragged her away before Shizuo could say anything more.

...He'd have to find a way to make it up to his brother somehow after unleashing Izaya's sisters on him.

Before he could dwell on that thought further, he soon found a phone held up to his face.

[How have you been?] Celty had apparently decided to wait until Izaya's sisters left so she wouldn't interrupt the conversation.

Shizuo smiled. "Fine."

[It's weird to think you're living with Izaya now. Not that that's a bad thing, I just never could have imagined it.]

"Yeah, I never thought we'd be living together, either, but now that I've been with him for a while, the idea of not being with him just seems wrong somehow."

Celty seemed to chuckle at him based on her shoulder movements. [Well, I'm happy for you. I wish you all the best.]

She wrapped him up in a hug.

—·—·—·—

With the party now over, everybody went their separate ways, and Shizuo and Izaya started walking back to their apartment.

It was a quiet, peaceful walk, until Shizuo finally broke the silence. "So... you enjoying your birthday so far?"

Izaya chuckled. "Certainly better than last year."

"I imagine it's easy to beat being kidnapped," Shizuo pointed out.

"Well, that depends. Getting kidnapped can be fun too, especially if you plan it out in advance."

Shizuo frowned. "'Plan it out in advance?' What, you mean like as a roleplay thing?"

"No, like an actual kidnapping where they try to torture you because they legitimately hate you." Izaya chuckled. "There was this one woman who was so busy imagining my supposed terror under the sack covering my face that she didn't actually do anything."

"...Wait, you mean you've actually done that? What kind of sick shit are you getting into?!"

Izaya started laughing. "Yeah, it was hilarious!"

"You're going to get yourself killed doing that!"

"I don't exactly make a habit of it, not to mention that I took precautions."

"You fucking..." Shizuo facepalmed.

"Besides... I doubt I'll be doing anything like that in the near future, if ever."

Shizuo snorted. "Lost your taste for being kidnapped after last year?"

"More like humanity."

Shizuo's steps faltered as Izaya continued walking ahead.

"What?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya turned to look at him, confused. "What?"

"You said you lost your taste for humanity?"

Izaya shrugged. "Yeah. So what?"

"Uh... are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, humanity is kinda your thing, so for you to suddenly say it's lost its appeal..."

Izaya grinned, showing off the glint of his teeth. "Humanity's overrated."

Coming from Izaya, those words sounded downright blasphemous. Shizuo was actually a little surprised that Izaya was even still alive after having said it.

"People are interesting, sure," Izaya continued, "but they're not the best thing in the world."

"Then, what is?"

Izaya smirked wider, but just turned back to keep walking without answering Shizuo's question.

"Hey!" Shizuo yelled as he ran to catch up. "I'm serious. You're feeling okay, right?"

"Of course I am. This is the best I've felt in years."

"Then, why...?"

"Because..." Izaya hesitated, like he was mentally debating something. "Eh, it doesn't matter."

Shizuo smirked knowingly. "Is it the tickling? It's the tickling, isn't it?"

"Wha—" Izaya spluttered indignantly, "No!"

"Well, you're not providing any other details, so I'm kind of left to guess here."

"Ugh, just forget it."

After that, they walked in silence for a while.

Shizuo had assumed that was the end of it, but finally...

Izaya sighed. "It's you."

"What's me?" Shizuo asked.

"There aren't..." Izaya struggled for words, "Well, not too many people have offered to become my friend. Even fewer have stuck around for as long as you have. Usually, I'll either end up alienating them or they'll just move on with their lives when they inevitably find someone better."

That hit a little too close to home. It almost felt like he had taken Shizuo's thoughts and claimed them as his own.

"You realize you basically just described me?" Shizuo pointed out.

"Huh?"

"My anger issues," Shizuo clarified. "Destroying things, hurting people... No one wants to be around me when they know what I'm capable of."

Izaya chuckled. "And yet, people are drawn to you anyway. The same can't really be said for me. I usually have to make the first move, and even then, they never stick around for very long. I'm surprised you've put up with me for as long as you have."

"You're not that unlikable when you just act like yourself. Before, you were putting up a front or something, and it just seemed fake. I don't like fake."

"Yes, but then they're only rejecting the persona you've decided to show them, not you as a person," Izaya reasoned. "I can live with people hating me for being disingenuous. Hating me for who I really am, though... that's a tougher pill to swallow."

"Well, even if you do everything right, some people just won't like you," Shizuo said. "It doesn't necessarily reflect your worth as a person. If you know what your flaws are, then work on fixing them, but you can't please everybody, so just find someone who likes you for who you are."

"Well, aren't we feeling philosophical today?" Izaya joked.

"Doesn't make it any less true."

"Perhaps." Izaya turned to look at him with a wry smile. "I suppose we all have our own little quirks."

Shizuo chuckled. "Yes, we do."

Izaya looked up at the sky, which was now shifting into various shades of pink and orange as the sun faded over the horizon. "Just another part of being human, I suppose."

"Yeah. Oh, hey, do you have your swimsuit picked out for next week?"

"Not yet. I don't know that I'll be going in the water anyway," Izaya said. "I might just lounge around in the sand while everyone else does stuff. Oh, and be careful about speaking Russian while we're at the beach. Simon said he'd be coming."

"Okay."

"And speaking of which..."

"Hm?"

Izaya scowled at him in disgust. "Did you seriously actually study how to say appalling stuff in Russian?"

"Doesn't everybody?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya groaned.

—·—·—·—

Even just a year ago, Shizuo never could have imagined having this kind of relationship with anybody, let alone Izaya. People had always avoided Shizuo, only seeing his potential for chaos and destruction, and the few people who did see him as anything more than his reputation already had their own lives and their own families to go home to.

Izaya, evidently, was in the same boat as him. Their personalities were wildly different, yet they somehow managed to have similar problems. People would often fear what Shizuo and Izaya were capable of, would fear their reputation, and determine it wasn't worth the risk or the effort to get close to them. They were dangerous; untrustworthy.

Monsters.

Frankly, Shizuo couldn't even disagree with the labels people assigned to them. It was only recently that he himself was feeling more like a human being than a monster. Even though he used to call Izaya all kinds of dehumanizing things, not even really considering him to be human, now the thought of Izaya being anything other than human seemed alien to him. Honestly, if anyone ever called Izaya a flea or otherwise insinuated that Izaya was anything less than human, Shizuo would probably throw that person halfway across the city.

He was fully aware of the hypocrisy of that idea, but since Shizuo already knew that he was a hypocrite, he was fine with it.

It was a strange feeling. Given his history with Izaya, Shizuo would have thought reconciliation was impossible. They had tried to kill each other, and even though Izaya had survived and stopped trying to ruin his life, and even after Shizuo no longer wanted to hurt him, Izaya was still afraid of him. If they weren't suddenly thrown in a room together, he probably never would have seen him again. At the time, Izaya's disappearance seemed like a dream come true, but it was quickly tainted by this strange feeling of emptiness and the thought that Izaya had been right all along; that Shizuo really was a monster unfit to live in human society.

How it was Izaya of all people to make him feel human again, Shizuo would never know.

Someday, they'd find out exactly who was responsible for setting off this strange chain of events, but it didn't change Shizuo and Izaya's relationship, who had since become inseparable and were still living together years later.

And they wouldn't change a thing.

Happy Birthday, Izaya!

Anyway, that officially concludes this story, but if you're like me and haven't gotten enough of this series yet, then I should probably point out that I currently have plans to do a collection of alternative scenarios and deleted scenes that could go on indefinitely depending on how many ideas I get. The thing is, I currently only plan to post this on my AO3 account, since I'm not sure whether FFN actually allows for that kind of thing or if it would count as a "non-story," but I'll add the link for that here when I post it on AO3.

Also, some of you may have noticed my habit to go back and make little (and not so little) tweaks to some parts of the story. I try to keep this to a minimum, and all of the changes have been pretty superficial so far, but I imagine this can get quite annoying if a scene you liked was rewritten or if you've already gotten used to a particular phrasing, so if I've ever made any changes you don't like, you can still go read the original versions of each chapter here (just replace the - with a . ): archiveofourown-org/works/41686020

...Again, this is only on AO3, but it would be so similar to the current version that it would likely break FFN's "don't post multiple entries of the same material" rule. Obviously, this isn't a perfect solution, but I've written a lot of the chapters while sick and/or sleep-deprived (not to mention that I was still pretty new to writing when I started this), so some of the scenes just felt a bit off to me. Future works of mine will probably have fewer changes going forward, since I'll supposedly know what I'm doing by that point. :P

Speaking of new stories, I now have so many ideas to choose from that I'll probably just work on whatever I'm most compelled to write at the time, then start posting once I make some decent progress on one of them. The list of my current ideas can be found here (remember, replace - with . ): archiveofourown-org/works/44801075

But anyway, thank you to everyone who took the time to read this! I had fun writing it, and I appreciate all the feedback I've gotten. I hope to create more interesting stories in the future, so perhaps I'll see you on the next one~