Shizuo had cornered Izaya in the bedroom, blocking off all escape routes.

"Izaya..." Shizuo growled as he took slow, menacing steps towards him, "I told you what would happen if you kept messing with me..."

Izaya smiled nervously. "C-come on, Shizu-chan. Let's be reasonable here."

"No. If I let you off easy today, then you're just going to do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. You're not going to stop unless I teach you a lesson."

Izaya eyed the door to the bedroom, which was wide open, but out of reach as Shizuo stood between Izaya and the door. If Izaya could just get on the other side of the bed, he might stand a chance, but it would cost him precious time that he may not have.

As Shizuo took another step closer, Izaya made his move: he leapt across the bed and tried to make it to the door.

Shizuo was faster, and Izaya yelped as he was grabbed by the scruff of his shirt and pinned to the bed.

"N-no! Let me go!"

Izaya struggled, trying to free himself, kicking at Shizuo's shins to no avail.

And then Shizuo started tickling him.

Izaya shrieked as he dissolved into helpless giggles.

This wasn't the first time this happened. Izaya liked to purposefully rile Shizuo up just because it was fun. And while Izaya would never admit it, he couldn't even say that he truly hated the tickling itself. If he did, Shizuo wouldn't have dared to use tickle torture as a punishment.

...Which was kind of ironic, now that he thought about it.

Even so, things had escalated to the point where they had come up with a safeword just in case one of them misjudged the situation, but neither of them ever wound up actually using it. Despite how rough Shizuo seemed to be while they did this, Izaya never sustained any serious injuries. It was actually kind of impressive.

After a while of this, Shizuo slowed down a bit to give Izaya a chance to breathe.

"Is there anything you want to say?" Shizuo asked him.

Izaya scoffed, but it came out more as a breathless pant. "If you're looking for an apology, you're not going to find one."

"You know what I'm asking. Are you still good to continue?"

"Well, if I say 'yes,' then you're just going to keep tickling me," Izaya replied with a huff.

"I suppose you've been punished enough," Shizuo mused as he let Izaya sit back up.

Izaya then looked at Shizuo's hair and smirked. "Oh, look, your hair's messed up again."

"Gee, I wonder how that happened," Shizuo responded sarcastically.

"I guess I'll have to fix it for you," Izaya said as he made a show of fixing Shizuo's hair.

Shizuo scoffed. "What's the point? You're just going to mess it up again."

"So ungrateful, Shizu-chan! I'm putting all this work into making your hair look nice, and this is the thanks I get?"

"You're the one who messed it up in the first place!"

"You have no proof that was me. After all, your assailant always did it when your back was turned, right?"

"You're the only other one in the apartment!" Shizuo retorted.

"Yes, I'm quite lucky that our mystery hair ruffler has decided to spare me. I don't think I could take it."

"Oh, really?"

Shizuo took that as a challenge and Izaya yelped as his hair was ruffled in turn.

"Whoops," Shizuo smirked. "Now your hair's messed up too."

"Oh, no! I'm dying! Shizu-chan, you have to fix it before I— blegh..." Izaya went limp, as if unconscious.

Shizuo nodded. "Looks like this will require hand-to-hair resuscitation," he said with the utmost seriousness.

Shizuo then proceeded to fix Izaya's hair as if he were a surgeon performing a delicate operation.

Izaya slowly came back to life, looking groggy. "Shizu-chan..." he said weakly, "is that you...?"

"Yes."

"Everything's so dark, Shizu-chan..."

"This calls for more drastic measures," Shizuo announced before he started massaging Izaya's scalp.

Izaya hummed in pleasure as he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

"Y'know, it would be a lot simpler to just ask for a scalp massage rather than pulling all this weird shit," Shizuo said.

Izaya smirked, but he didn't bother opening his eyes. "Well, where's the fun in that? Besides, you're the one who keeps going along with it even though you know it's not a punishment. You do know that you're just rewarding bad behavior, right?"

"Maybe I don't mind your bad behavior."

"Oh...?" Izaya felt like he might fall asleep any second now. "Then I must be failing in my job as a roommate..."

"Your job being to annoy me?"

"Exactly."

Shizuo chuckled and shook his head.

They fell into silence, and Shizuo just kept massaging him while Izaya practically melted into a puddle. As this went on, Izaya let his mind wander, reflecting on how surreal this whole situation was.

"Did you ever imagine that things could turn out like this, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked.

"Hm," Shizuo hummed thoughtfully, still massaging him. "Not really. I sometimes wondered what would have happened if we were friends instead of enemies, but I didn't think I'd be giving you literal massages or anything like that," he chuckled.

"I don't think anyone's ever even given me a massage before you started doing it. Even on the rare occasion that someone actually likes me, nobody's ever offered. Well, I probably wouldn't have accepted either way, but still, I'm kind of surprised that you're not more into massages yourself given how they're designed to help you relax."

"Well, massages feel weird!"

"Yes, I remember how you reacted when I tried to give you one on your birthday," Izaya chuckled at the memory. "I didn't think you'd freak out over it, though."

"I didn't 'freak out.'"

"You literally ran."

"No, I was just... walking very quickly."

Izaya huffed a laugh. "Well, now I know to just go straight to the cuddling if I'm trying to please you. But anyway, given the way your super-strength works, I'm curious if regular massages would make you even stronger. Who knows? Maybe I could make you impenetrable to bullets."

"I think I'm strong enough, thanks."

"Oh, you think so?"

And then Izaya did what got him in trouble in the first place: he ruffled Shizuo's hair.

"Argh!" Shizuo yelled. "You— Hey! Get back here!"

But Izaya had already leapt off the bed and made a mad dash for the door.

Shizuo tried to chase after him, but Izaya had enough of a head start that he had grabbed his coat and went out the front door before Shizuo could catch him. He knew Shizuo was still chasing him, so once Izaya had reached the stairwell, he called out, "Don't forget to lock the door, Shizu-chan!" knowing full well that Shizuo wouldn't be able to ignore the advice.

When several seconds had passed, he could tell that Shizuo was no longer chasing him, his original assumption correct. Izaya smirked as he continued down the stairs, already with a destination in mind.

—·—·—·—

Izaya had made it to Shinra and Celty's apartment before Shizuo did, and he took the time to look around, seeing all the people who had arrived first.

Kadota and the rest of the van gang were already there, sitting at the table. Izaya smirked when he saw Erika. While she had been almost annoying in her delusions that Shizuo and Izaya were romantically involved somehow, she had also made a suggestion recently that was far too amusing an idea to pass up. Specifically, she thought that Shizuo and Izaya needed a 'couple name' that combined both of their names. And now, Izaya would take any and every opportunity to randomly announce that 'Shizaya has arrived' to anyone who would listen. Shizuo's exasperated expression whenever he said it just made it even funnier.

Sozoro and the kids had apparently arrived before them as well. Haruto and Himari were over with Celty, who was currently demonstrating her lack of a head. Haruto just stared up at her with this enraptured look of awe, and even the usually-stoic Himari was completely stunned. Sozoro, meanwhile, did not seem to be particularly concerned by the mysterious headless woman, and instead just looked over the party as a whole.

Izaya sat down in an empty chair while he waited. A few people had asked him whether Shizuo was coming or not, to which Izaya shrugged as if he didn't know.

Finally, Shizuo arrived, apparently having taken the time to put on his bartender outfit first, which was probably what delayed him.

"Wow, Shizu-chan," Izaya lilted. "Took you long enough. I've been sitting here for hours."

Shizuo scowled. "You only left the apartment 20 minutes ago!"

Shinra walked into the room and greeted him, "Ah, Shizuo! Glad you could finally make it!"

"Why is everybody acting like I arrived late? Izaya just got here earlier than me."

"Oh, Shizuo!" Kadota exclaimed. "You made it!"

"Goddammit, I got here on time," Shizuo grumbled.

"Better luck next time, Shizu-chan~" Izaya chirped.

From across the room, Mairu waved at Shizuo to get his attention. "Shizuo-san!"

Shizuo started heading over towards her, but he made a slight detour to lightly poke Izaya in the ribs as he walked by, eliciting a small, stifled squeak as he did so.

Shizuo leaned down and whispered in a low voice, "Ты получишь свое наказание позже." (You'll get your punishment later.)

Izaya felt his cheeks heating up at the mortifying comment. He was eternally grateful that Simon wasn't around to hear this.

"Понял," Izaya whispered. (Understood.)

Shizuo smirked as he walked away, and Shinra stared after him, dumbfounded.

"Wait wait, what was that?" Shinra asked. "Was that Russian? What did he say?"

Izaya waved a dismissive hand. "Eh, nothing important."

"Still, that's pretty impressive," Shinra noted. "I didn't think he'd have the patience for it. He any good?"

Izaya glanced back over at Shizuo, who gave him a wink.

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "...He's terrible," he decided.

Completely missing the subtext of Izaya's statement, Shinra apparently assumed they were still talking about language proficiency.

"To be fair," Shinra said, "he hasn't been studying as long as you have. You should probably cut him some slack."

Izaya scoffed. "Sure. Fine." He turned back towards Shinra, who was already grinning at him. "What?" Izaya asked.

"So, how's living with Shizuo? You getting on each other's nerves yet?"

Izaya smirked and leaned back in his chair. "No, actually. Things have been pretty calm."

"Liar. I bet you pull little pranks on him just to rile him up."

Izaya bristled at the accuracy of the statement. "I wouldn't do something so childish."

"Suuure," Shinra said, obviously not believing him. "You're being totally well-behaved and respectful, right?"

"Shinra..." Izaya growled.

"Ah, sorry, sorry," Shinra waved his hands placatingly, "I meant nothing by it. Oh, speaking of apologies..."

"...?"

"You remember that time I hung up on you when you called from the hospital?"

Izaya forced a smile. "Not particularly."

"Well, Celty thought I should apologize for that, and I never did. I didn't think much of it at the time, but given what I know about you, that was probably a bit cruel. So... I officially apologize."

Izaya waved his hand flippantly. "Consider it water under the bridge."

"So, we still friends?" Shinra held out his left hand in offer of a handshake.

Izaya silently stared at Shinra's hand for a moment, trying to ignore the sudden urge to start grinning as he struggled to keep his expression neutral. He wasn't doing a very good of it as he soon felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Sure." Izaya eventually decided to reciprocate the handshake. "Friends."

—·—·—·—

With the party now over, everybody went their separate ways, and Shizuo and Izaya started walking back to their apartment.

It was a quiet, peaceful walk, until Shizuo finally broke the silence. "So... you enjoying your birthday so far?"

Izaya chuckled. "Certainly better than last year."

"I imagine it's easy to beat being kidnapped," Shizuo pointed out.

"Well, that depends. Getting kidnapped can be fun too, especially if you plan it out in advance."

Shizuo frowned. "'Plan it out in advance?' What, you mean like as a roleplay thing?"

"No, like an actual kidnapping where they try to torture you because they legitimately hate you." Izaya chuckled. "There was this one woman who was so busy imagining my supposed terror under the sack covering my face that she didn't actually do anything."

"...Wait, you mean you've actually done that? What kind of sick shit are you getting into?!"

Izaya started laughing. "Yeah, it was hilarious!"

"You're going to get yourself killed doing that!"

"I don't exactly make a habit of it, not to mention that I took precautions."

"You fucking..." Shizuo facepalmed.

"Besides... I doubt I'll be doing anything like that in the near future, if ever."

Shizuo snorted. "Lost your taste for being kidnapped after last year?"

"More like humanity."

Shizuo's steps faltered as Izaya continued walking ahead.

"What?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya turned to look at him, confused. "What?"

"You said you lost your taste for humanity?"

Izaya shrugged. "Yeah. So what?"

"Uh... are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, humanity is kinda your thing, so for you to suddenly say it's lost its appeal..."

Izaya grinned, showing off the glint of his teeth. "Humanity's overrated."

Shizuo's expression was priceless, like Izaya had just said something absurd.

"People are interesting, sure," Izaya continued, "but they're not the best thing in the world."

"Then, what is?"

Izaya smirked wider, but just turned back to keep walking without answering Shizuo's question.

"Hey!" Shizuo yelled as he ran to catch up. "I'm serious. You're feeling okay, right?"

"Of course I am. This is the best I've felt in years."

"Then, why...?"

"Because..." Izaya hesitated, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. "Eh, it doesn't matter."

Shizuo smirked knowingly. "Is it the tickling? It's the tickling, isn't it?"

"Wha—" Izaya spluttered indignantly, "No!"

"Well, you're not providing any other details, so I'm kind of left to guess here."

"Ugh, just forget it."

After that, they walked in silence for a while.

Izaya mentally debated whether he should just say it, given that Shizuo was jumping to other conclusions that weren't exactly better.

Izaya sighed. "It's you."

"What's me?" Shizuo asked.

"There aren't..." Izaya struggled for words, "Well, not too many people have offered to become my friend. Even fewer have stuck around for as long as you have. Usually, I'll either end up alienating them or they'll just move on with their lives when they inevitably find someone better."

"You realize you basically just described me?" Shizuo pointed out.

"Huh?"

"My anger issues," Shizuo clarified. "Destroying things, hurting people... No one wants to be around me when they know what I'm capable of."

Izaya chuckled. "And yet, people are drawn to you anyway. The same can't really be said for me. I usually have to make the first move, and even then, they never stick around for very long. I'm surprised you've put up with me for as long as you have."

"You're not that unlikable when you just act like yourself. Before, you were putting up a front or something, and it just seemed fake. I don't like fake."

"Yes, but then they're only rejecting the persona you've decided to show them, not you as a person," Izaya reasoned. "I can live with people hating me for being disingenuous. Hating me for who I really am, though... that's a tougher pill to swallow."

"Well, even if you do everything right, some people just won't like you," Shizuo said. "It doesn't necessarily reflect your worth as a person. If you know what your flaws are, then work on fixing them, but you can't please everybody, so just find someone who likes you for who you are."

"Well, aren't we feeling philosophical today?" Izaya joked.

"Doesn't make it any less true."

"Perhaps." Izaya turned to look at him with a wry smile. "I suppose we all have our own little quirks."

Shizuo chuckled. "Yes, we do."

Izaya looked up at the sky, which was now shifting into various shades of pink and orange as the sun faded over the horizon. "Just another part of being human, I suppose."

"Yeah. Oh, hey, do you have your swimsuit picked out for next week?"

"Not yet. I don't know that I'll be going in the water anyway," Izaya said. "I might just lounge around in the sand while everyone else does stuff. Oh, and be careful about speaking Russian while we're at the beach. Simon said he'd be coming."

"Okay."

"And speaking of which..."

"Hm?"

Izaya scowled at him in disgust. "Did you seriously actually study how to say appalling stuff in Russian?"

"Doesn't everybody?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya groaned.

—·—·—·—

Even just a year ago, Izaya never could have imagined having this kind of relationship with anybody, let alone Shizuo. Izaya was convinced that seeing Shizuo again would only lead to his death, yet it somehow led to his rehabilitation instead. Not only physically, but also in how he dealt with the world. Before, he was obsessed with humanity; constantly studying them, watching them, just generally seeing what they do in a wide variety of situations.

But after being with Shizuo for several months, he noticed that humanity just didn't seem to hold the same level of appeal as it once did. His previous love for humanity was manic, almost like he was trying to fill a void that he wasn't even sure was there until something finally came along to fill that void.

Perhaps his experiments in getting closer to people paid off, after all.

Someday, they'd find out exactly who was responsible for setting off this strange chain of events, but it didn't change Shizuo and Izaya's relationship, who had since become inseparable and were still living together years later.

And they wouldn't change a thing.

Happy Birthday, Izaya!

Anyway, that officially concludes this story, but if you're like me and haven't gotten enough of this series yet, then I should probably point out that I currently have plans to do a collection of alternative scenarios and deleted scenes that could go on indefinitely depending on how many ideas I get. The thing is, I currently only plan to post this on my AO3 account, since I'm not sure whether FFN actually allows for that kind of thing or if it would count as a "non-story," but I'll add the link for that here when I post it on AO3.

Also, some of you may have noticed my habit to go back and make little (and not so little) tweaks to some parts of the story. I try to keep this to a minimum, and all of the changes have been pretty superficial so far, but I imagine this can get quite annoying if a scene you liked was rewritten or if you've already gotten used to a particular phrasing, so if I've ever made any changes you don't like, you can still go read the original versions of each chapter here (just replace the - with a . ): archiveofourown-org/works/41697522

...Again, this is only on AO3, but it would be so similar to the current version that it would likely break FFN's "don't post multiple entries of the same material" rule. Obviously, this isn't a perfect solution, but I've written a lot of the chapters while sick and/or sleep-deprived (not to mention that I was still pretty new to writing when I started this), so some of the scenes just felt a bit off to me. Future works of mine will probably have fewer changes going forward, since I'll supposedly know what I'm doing by that point. :P

Speaking of new stories, I now have so many ideas to choose from that I'll probably just work on whatever I'm most compelled to write at the time, then start posting once I make some decent progress on one of them. The list of my current ideas can be found here (remember, replace the - with a . ): archiveofourown-org/works/44801075

But anyway, thank you to everyone who took the time to read this! I had fun writing it, and I appreciate all the feedback I've gotten. I hope to create more interesting stories in the future, so perhaps I'll see you on the next one~