No Name
By Dark Angel
I so do not own Digimon. I just own the poor idea, Dozu, and most of the teams that will be mentioned later. I do hope you like the story and plot!
"Don't do this to me," I breathe out as he kisses down my neck. "I'm not staying in Japan. I will return to Russia once this is over with." I whisper to him as he sucks on the conjuncture of my neck, drawing a moan from my throat.
"I will go with you," whispers Yamato as he moves to kiss and suck the other side of my neck. "I can't live without you anymore. My band wants to leave to a new country, and so I can go with you."
"Don't, you belong here," I whisper trying not to let myself fall. "I don't want to take you away from where you belong, regardless if it hurts me in the end."
"What about me? If you leave me here, won't that hurt me?" whispers Yamato tightening his hold on me as if he is afraid that I will disappear if he doesn't. "I love you with everything I am and I have been hurting since the moment I knew you loved me too. I knew I might not have seen you again because you left and didn't know when you would return if you even would. I waited, hoping and praying that you would return to me and now that you are back, I don't plan to let you go."
"Yamato" I whisper trying so hard not to cry for the pain I know I caused him. "I…I…I'm a stupid selfish person. I…I…never once thought about what it would do to you, I just had to l…leave. What Sora said…it hit home harder than anything else that had happened to me. I…I'm…so…sorry." I collapse right into his arms, letting my grief and pain out for the first time since that night.
He held me close as he cried along with me, letting out his pain. I can't believe I was this stupid, to leave behind the one thing that mattered more than my life. He turns me around and captures my lips in a burning kiss. I open my lips to let his tongue slide inside. I lean into the kiss, trying to deepen it.
Suddenly, I push him away from me and run into my room. Closing the door behind me, I lean up against it, so he can't get into the room. "I can't," I whisper just loud enough for him to hear. "I can't let myself be hurt again." I curl up into a ball at the door and cry myself to sleep while listening to Yamato banging on the door pleading with me to let him in.
I wake up to the sound of water being run in the bathroom. I wonder what he is doing right now. I probably hurt him again with my rejection of taking him with me. He belongs here among his family and friends while I belong in Russia with the family I created there and the friends I made there.
The ones I left behind, I never had any intention of returning to them. I figured that as long as I wasn't in their life, everything would be for the best. Yamato could love who he wanted without me weighing him down but I ended up weighing him down when I told him I loved him. That was a stupid mistake on my part, to leave him with those parting words.
I stand up and open the door, looking around for him. I'm not sure what is going to happen but I have to face him after I ran away like a coward.
"You're awake" speaks a soft voice behind me. Gods, it sounds like he did his own bit of crying. "That's good. Ian called. He said things are going as planned and that we are to stay here until further notice. Jason was concerned that I answered your cell phone instead of you but I told him we had a small fight and that you left the phone in the living room. He told me to tell you to stop being a stubborn ass and move on."
"I see," I whisper not knowing what more to say.
"Please, have something to eat. I made you something for you a little while ago, so it should still be warm" speaks Yamato walking into the kitchen. I don't think he wants to acknowledge what happened not long ago.
"How long was I asleep for?" I ask sitting down at the kitchen table.
"Three hours" answers Yamato placing the plate full of food in front of me. "I'll leave you to eat." Yamato walks out of the kitchen.
I eat my food slowly, trying to listen to what he is doing in the living room. I think he is talking to someone.
"No, I don't think things will work out between us… I'm going to leave the apartment in about an hour or so… I don't care if Ian told me to stay here… I can't stay with someone who wants me but won't let himself have what he wants… It hurts too much to be around him… I'll be fine on my own… I was thinking of going to the digital world for a while… At least there, I would be able to give him the space he needs to get his job done, so he can return to Russia as he plans to do… I don't plan to stop him from leaving me behind… It is his wish and I'm going to respect. I'll talk to sometime later… Yeah, bye."
It seems I lose him for good this time around. Oh, well, it can't be helped. This is better for the both of us. It is better that we no longer talk or see each other ever again. I finish eating my meal in peace and place the dish in the sink to be done later. It seems Yamato cleaned up the house while I was sleeping in my room.
He's too good to be with someone like me. Yet, I get this feeling that he's hiding something from me. I wonder what it could be that he is hiding. I won't stop him from leaving me either, I just want to make sure he doesn't end up in danger. I hear the floor creak and look up into Yamato's eyes. They are full of sorrow and hidden pain.
"I'll be leaving now. Don't worry about me. Ian will be here in about an hour by that time I will be long gone. Tell him not to worry so much over my safety and do his job to protect you. I won't forgive him if you end up hurt or worse" speaks Yamato softly as he moves towards the door.
"You lied to Ian," I whisper out as his hand is on the doorknob.
"I did, because he would not have let me leave here, not even to go to the digital world" whispers Yamato. "But I don't plan on staying where I am not wanted or needed." He opens the door and walks out shutting it behind me as I am frozen by the words I used myself when I decided to leave this country for good.
I rush to the door and open it, I run out of the apartment and down to the stairs to see if I couldn't find him. I see getting into his car and starting it up. I run down the stairs, keeping an eye on him. I'm hoping. I can stop him before he leaves. My feet hit pavement as he drives away, not even looking back at me.
I can't believe I just let the man of my life drive out of my life for good. I collapse on the ground, staring straight ahead of me for I don't know how long. The next thing, I remember is Ian taking me upstairs with the help of Jason. The only thing I remember running through my mind is that he's gone.
I open my eyes, although, I don't remember closing them in the first place. "Thank god, he stopped saying 'he's gone'," speaks Ian, as he moves around the room.
"Do you think he will come back?" asks Jason.
"Knowing Matt, no he won't come back unless we beg him too. He did this to get away from Machi. It seems that Machi drove Matt away and Matt is giving him what he wants" speaks Ian softly.
"That idiot" shouts Jason. "Can't he see that he's Matt's everything. Geez, he's just as stubborn as Mike sometimes."
"There's nothing we can do now. We will have to see where fate plays out. If Matt and Machi are meant to be together, then something will bring the two back together. If they are not meant to be together, then nothing will happen to bring Matt back," speaks Ian knowing that he is telling the truth.
"But!" shouts Jason.
"Ian's right," I whisper without opening my eyes. I just don't want to face that he is really gone. "We may not see him again while we are here, and for that I say is for the better."
"How?" shouts Jason. "How can leaving a broken man behind be good?"
"He deserves so much better than me," I whisper to him.
"That's what Mike thought until I had it drilled into his head that, living a life without the one you love is an empty life not worth living" states Jason before he leaves the room.
"He's right, you know" speaks Ian before he leaves the room as well. "You and Matt will be nothing but shallow souls from here on out."
LATER Folks
End of Chapter Fourteen: Disappearing.