Original Ending (Everything)

This is a (very, very) dark one. If you want a happy ending, I warn you, go read the alternate ending.

Don't complain to me if you don't like it. Cause this is how life is sometimes. It's unfair and miserable and painful. It happens.

With a deep breath, he stepped out of the car, shut the door, and walked over to the front door. He knocked, and recieved no answer. He waited what seemed like forever and knocked again.

He looked around.

He knew Kurt was home, from the truck in the driveway. He knew he wasn't asleep, cause it wasn't even dark yet. And he guessed he was probably home alone.

He knocked once more, and was about to just walk away and give up, when his hand reflexively tried the doorknob, and by some stroke of luck, found that it turned. The front door was unlocked. Now, should he just walk into Kurt's house unannounced?

It didn't seem like a good idea, but at the time, Finn was feeling very desperate. And desperate people do dumb things.

So he opened the door and went inside.

All the lights in the house seemed to be off.

He looked around, suspiciously, waiting for Kurt to show up with a baseball bat or something.

But he never did.

Finn's eyes began to adjust to the darkness, and he saw a light, weakly, distantly, as if it was having to travel through several rooms.

"Kurt?"

No answer.

"Kurt? Are you here?"

There was still no answer, and Finn ventured deeper into the house, heading through the kitchen and into a small hallway.

He paused when he heard a gasp in a room at the end of the hall.

He couldn't help but peek around the doorframe, and was horrified.

Kurt, his Kurt, his darling, beautiful Kurt, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, in pajama pants and nothing else, holding a kitchen knife, and indifferently examining his pale arm from which blood was gently running.

As slow as Finn tended to be, he understood this one immediately.

Any hope of words died in his throat as Kurt looked up at him, the calmness in his eyes echoing insanity.

"Finn." He smiled, and showed him the 'artwork' on his arm. The five red letters mirrored the five black ones on Finn's forearm.

The sick feeling started to creep into Finn's stomach, and he steadied himself with a hand on the doorframe. Blood had never affected him. Til now. His heart pounded in his ears and his mouth opened to give a speech, but only one word came through.

"Why?"

"Darling Finn." Kurt began in a lullaby voice. "You hurt me. You took away my innocence. My pride. And my hope of anyone ever loving me for me. And since no one will ever love me, I thought I'd better get used to the feeling of being hurt a lot. You know, it kind of starts to feel good after a while. Really."

"Kurt..."

"Yes, love?" He asked, mockingly.

"I'm sorry." Finn choked.

"Ha. Yeah, and...?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know. You meant to please yourself. And you did. It's done Finn. So get out of here."

"But I don't want to. I want to be here with you."

"Do you? You didn't seem to want to be with me the day after. Didn't want to call. Didn't want to see me. Didn't even talk to me when you saw me in glee, or in the hallway, or after football. You didn't stop your dumbass friends from shoving me into a trashcan, you just watched the whole thing happen. Didn't call me this weekend, or come over, or take me out. Yeah Finn. That's just love, isn't it? That's just caring about me so much."

"I do care about you. That's why I came."

"Well, honey, you're just a little late."

"I'm-"

"Yeah, sorry. We've already been through this. You can't save yourself Finn. And you can't save me. It doesn't work like that, golden boy."

And again, Finn was about to cry.

"Why not?" He breathed, hands shaking.

"Cause what's done is done. I have no reason to forgive you, and you have no reason to stay around. Don't try to fix it. Cause you know what you're good at, Finn? Making things worse. So go find yourself some cute basketball player or something. Go find a cheap fuck. Go find a beautiful whore. Cause if that's what you're looking for, you're not gonna find it here, Finn."

"I never said that's what I wanted."

"Let's face it. Actions speak louder than words. You never talked to me before you went after me, and you weren't planning on having anything to do with me after you got what you wanted. Admit it Finn. You want a lover. Not a boyfriend, not a partner. Just a friend that's good in bed. And I will not be degraded in that way by you."

There was so much truth in what Kurt was saying, that it hurt more than anything anyone had ever said to him.

"That's not who I wanted to be." Tears started to roll down Finn's face.

The whole reason he needed a good fuck in the first place was his ex-boyfriend. His ex-boyfriend who had mistreated him, who had used him. His ex-boyfriend who he had given himself away to. His ex-boyfriend who had cheated on him. The ex-boyfriend Finn had loved unconditionally through and through, until the other boy had finally dumped him for some 'emo' guy from another school. The ex-boyfriend who had hurt Finn worse than anyone else ever had. The ex-boyfriend Finn had now become.

"That can't be who I am. That's who I'm trying not to be..." Finn shook his head as he began to drown in his own thoughts.

"Well, looks like you're not trying hard enough, cause that's exactly what you are. You used me, Finn Hudson. And you don't even regret it."

"No..." Finn breathed. "Please no... That's not me, I swear... No..."

"Yes Finn. Take a good look at what you've become. Aren't you proud, baby?" Kurt said as he walked over to Finn and then kissed him on the lips.

Finn just stood there, Kurt's voice echoing in his head. 'Aren't you proud, baby? Aren't you proud? Look at what you've become. Are you proud?'

"No..." Finn whispered again. "No." He pushed Kurt off of him, scratching furiously at that damn black word.

He looked back at the way Kurt's unlifelike body thudded back against the sink. His world moved in slow motion as he stumbled out of the house, scratching at his arm til it bled.

'I swore I'd never be that guy. I swore I'd never hurt anyone like he hurt me. And now look at me. Maybe I wouldn't be so evil if I meant this word when I said it. I should have meant it about everything... But I don't. I don't. And I am him. No matter what I do now, I am him.'

His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white.

'When this marker washes off, that word will still be written all over me.'

Sorry.

Wow. Hardcore. Damn. I never write like that. I honestly apologize. I don't expect any good reviews for this. If, on the off chance, you did like it, then thanks, I guess, and I'm glad I could please someone. Please know that there is another ending, which is titled 'Nothing'. It is much better than this one.

Hey, I warned you it was dark.

On the plus side, I feel much better now. I no longer feel depressed or guilty. Honestly.

Thanks for reading.

-Rosalina