Complicated

Bella

I know one thing for sure, I am not making out with Edward Masen.

Thankfully Mrs. Cullen had us busy all week, doing experiments, giving us no time to talk. Although every time I looked at EJ's bandaged arm it reminded me of when I hit him.

I'm tried not to think about him while I got ready for my date with Mike. But it was pointless he was on my mind all day.

On Saturday morning I woke up to my mother screaming. Throwing the covers back, I rushed out of bed and ran down the stairs to see what all the commotion was about.

Aaron was in his wheelchair, which was being pushed up to the kitchen table. Food is all over his mouth and splattered on his shirt and pants.

He looks like a little kid instead of a twenty year old.

"Aaron if you do that again, you're going to your room!" my mom yelled, then places a bowl of his blended food on the table.

Aaron swipes the bowl to the ground. My mom gasps and then narrows her eyes at my big brother.

"I'll do it!" I yell, rushing to my brother.

My mom doesn't know how to deal with my brother, she's never hit him. But her frustration is in overdrive, which stings just as much.

"Don't baby him Isabella," My mother shouted again. "If he doesn't eat, he'll be tube fed. Would you like that?"

I hate when she does this. She'll talk about the worst possible scenario and not work on fixing what's wrong. When my brother looks at me, I know he knows what's wrong.

My mom points her finger at Aaron, then at the food on the floor, "That's why I haven't taken you to a restaurant in months."

"Mom, stop. You don't need to escalate the situation. He's already upset. Why make it worse?"

"And what about me?"

Tension starts building, beginning inside my veins and spreading to my fingertips and toes. It bubbles up and bursts with such a force I couldn't keep it inside. "This isn't about you! Why does it always go back to you?" I screamed. "Mom, can't you see he's hurting? Instead of yelling, why don't you figure out what's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong," she yelled, pulling out her pill bottle. "My son was fine. My son was happy. Look what you did to him."

I stood stunned. I knew she blamed me. Hell, I even blamed me. But she has never said it out loud to me before.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's not always about you Isabella," she said mockingly. "It's time for you to grow up. This has gone on long enough. Isabella, take your car and go to JFK and pick up your father. His flight comes in at twelve. When he gets here, we'll sort out everything."

She stormed out the kitchen and went back to whatever it is she was doing.

I grabbed a washcloth and sat down on the ground next to my brothers legs.

"Rwella," he gurgled, patting my head.

I shook my head and continued to clean off his pants.

"Rwella," he said more forcefully.

I slowly looked up and my tear filled eyes met his chocolate brown ones. My brother and I looked nothing alike. I looked like my dad, while he resembled my mom.

"What's wrong?" said a male computerized voice. Aaron has a personal communication device. My brother is still smart he just can't speak properly anymore. A result of a traumatic brain injury, and his Parkinson's disease, causing him to be immobile and have a speaking problem .

"Nothing," I tried to smile, but I don't think it looked convincing because he gave a look that said so.

He hit a couple of buttons on his computer screen, "Truth."

I looked into his eyes, "I'm sorry brother bear. I wish I could take it back. All of it. I would take it all away. Please, I'm so sorry."

I was already crying while he hit a bunch of other buttons, "Not your fault."

"But it is," I shouted. "If it wasn't for me you'd be fine. It should be me. It's all my fault Aaron."

"Don't cry."

I chuckled softly, wiping my face. After I finished cleaning him off, I fed him the last of his food.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked him. "I have a couple of hours before I have to go get dad."

He tapped his screen and the checkers game popped up.

"Checkers?" I smiled smugly. "You're going down big brother."

About an hour later and five losses in, I gave up.

"You win bro," I laughed pushing away from the kitchen table.

He tapped some more buttons and grinned crookedly "Loser."

"Hey, hey, hey. Remember I'm your little sister." I rolled my eyes as he grin got wider. "Come'on Aaron its almost ten, I'll roll you into the living while I get ready."

After I got my jeans and shirt on, I picked my lip gloss up off my chemistry book.

Chemistry Book?

Shit, EJ!

I yanked out my cell phone and went through my phone book. Then I realized, he never gave me his number. Figuring out that she might be the only one able to give me his number, I dialed hers.

"Hey Bella," Ally's voice sung like bells. "I can't really talk, I'm at work."

"Hey Ally. It's no problem. I just need EJ's cell number."

"Um, okay but he doesn't have minutes on his kick. I can give you his house."

"Whichever way I could get in contact with him would be great."

She gave me his house number, with a warning that he might not be home. Guilt set in as I thought about him waiting for me at the library. I was the one who didn't trust him to show, but I'm the one that was about to flake. He must be furious.

Ugh, I'm feeling sick.

"Hwello?" a girl's voice answers.

"Hi," I took a deep breath. "Is EJ there?"

"No, he not here."

The girl doesn't sound more than four years old.

"Lyric, what did I tell you about answering the phone?" I hear a older woman say in the background.

"Sworry Nana," she says quietly, as I hear a shuffle that sounds like the phone is being handed off.

"Who's this?" the older woman asks.

"Mrs. Masen?"

"This is she."

I realize I'm chipping the nail polish off my nails. "This is Bella Swan, Edward's chemistry partner. I was wondering if I could speak to him."

"I'm sorry sweetie," she answered sweetly. "He's not here, but I can take a message."

I took another really deep breath, "Can you tell him, I'm sorry I missed our study session this morning and if he could please give me a call when he can."

"Sure," she said happily. "What's your number?"

"It's …."

Edward

I've been waiting at the library for an hour. Okay, so it's been an hour and a half. Before ten, I sat outside on the steps. At ten I came inside and stood looking at the display case. At ten forty-five I sat on a couch in the teen section and started reading my chemistry book.

Now it's eleven and she still isn't here.

I could go hang out with my friends, I should. But I have a stupid urge to find out why she ditched me. I'd tell myself its an ego thing, but in the back of my mind I'm worried about her.

She had hinted before that her mom was a little crazy. Doesn't she realize she's eighteen and can leave home if she wanted? If it's that bad, why stay?

Because her parents are rich.

If I left home, my new life wouldn't be so different from my old one. For her, losing everything her parents give her is probably a fate worse than death.

I'm left standing in this library looking like a complete idiot. She's probably playing games with me, and I hate games I can't win.

I walk out to my bike with my tail between my legs, wondering if I should feel like a kicked dog or an angry pit bull.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Mom!" I shouted. "I'm home!"

"Eddie!" came the small happy scream from Lyric.

"How's my baby girl?" I chuckled, catching her in my arms and spinning her around.

"Me not a baby. Me a big girl," she laughed, as I tickled her.

"Oh I'm sorry," I laughed. "How's my big girl doing?"

"Edward Masen, put her down," my mom ordered. "Lyric your lunch is on the table. Go."

I rolled my eyes as I set her down which caused her to burst out giggling. I was about to head back into my room for a nap when my mom called me.

"Oh Edward," she said. "A girl called for you. Bella, I think it was. Said she was sorry for not being able to make it but she left here number, it's on the fridge."

I perked up when my mom said she left her number, but she was probably going to come up with a lame excuse on why she couldn't make it.

That was something I really didn't want to hear. I retreated back to my room and threw myself on my bed, shoving my face into the pillow and succumbing to a dreamless nap.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Drink some beer and stop looking so depressed," Jazz said throwing me a Corona. I told him about Bella blowing me off this morning, and all he did was shake his head as if I should have expected it.

I catch the bottle in one hand before it hits the ground and smashes. I pop the cap off and take a huge gulp.

Luis downs his beer in one gulp, "Roxy really screwed you up, you know."

"How's that?"

"You don't trust girls. Take Isabella Swan – "

I mentally cursed when he said her name.

"You're loose-talking, hickey-making, sexy ex-girlfriend Roxanne stabbed you in the back. So you're making a complete U-turn by stabbing Bella in the back."

I'm reluctantly listening to Luis as I grab another beer, "You're calling my chem partner a U-turn?"

"Yeah. But it's gonna backfire big-time man, because you actually like the girl. Admit it."

I don't want to admit it, "I only want her for the bet."

Jazz laughs so hard he stumbles and ends up sitting on the floor. "You my friend are so good at lying to yourself you're actually starting to believe the bullshit coming out your mouth. Those two girls are total opposites."

I grab my third beer. As I flip the top open, I think about the differences between Roxanne and Bella. Roxy's got sexy hazel colored, mysterious eyes. Bella's got seemingly innocent, brown ones. Will they be that way when I make love to her?

Shit. Make love? What the hell possessed me to think of Bella and love in the sentence.

I spend the next hour ingesting as much beer as possible. I'm feeling good enough not to think about anything.

A familiar female voice cuts through the numbness, "We're going to Brighton Beach to party, wanna come?"

I'm staring into hazel eyes. My brain is clouded and I'm dizzy, I know enough to register that even though hazel is close to chocolate brown, it isn't the same. I don't want chocolate. Chocolate confuses me too much.

There's something wrong here, but I can't pinpoint it. And when Hazel's lips are on mine, I don't care about anything except wiping Chocolate from my mind. Even if I remember that Hazel was bitter.

An hour later, I'm standing in water up to my waste. It makes me long to be a pirate and sail the lonely seas. I know I'm not on the open sea, but I'm not thinking clearly and being a pirate seems like a pretty good option. No worries and nobody with brown hair and brown eye's glaring at me.

Arms like tentacles wrap around me, "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Becoming a pirate," I murmur to the octopus.

The octopus's suction cups are kissing my back and moving their way to my face. Instead of scaring me, it feels good. I know this octopus, these tentacles.

"You'll be a pirate, I'll be a mermaid."

"Roxy," I say to octopus turned sexy mermaid, suddenly I'm aware I'm drunk and naked. Standing in the middle of the ocean, in the middle of September.

"Shh, let go and enjoy."

Roxy knows me well enough to make me forget about real life and help me focus on the fantasy. Her hands and body wrap around me. She feels weightless in the water. My hands go to the places I've been before and my body presses against familiar territory, but the fantasy doesn't come. And when I look back at the shore, the sounds of my friends remind me we have an audience. Roxy loves an audience.

I don't.

Grabbing my mermaid's hand I start walking back to shore.

Ignoring the comments from my friends, I tell Roxy to get dressed as I pull on my jeans. When we're dressed, I take her hand once again and we weave through the crowd until we find a vacant spot to sit.

I lean against a big rock and stretch out my legs. My ex-girlfriend straddles me, as if we never broke up and she never cheated on me. I feel trapped.

She takes a long drag of something stronger than a cigarette and passes it to me. I look at the small, wrapped joint. "It's not amped, is it?"

I'm wasted, but the last thing I need is narcs in my system on top of marijuana and beer. My mission is to be numb, not dead.

She puts it to my lips, "It's just Acapulco gold."

Maybe it'll work to wipe my memory for good and make me forget ex-girlfriends and bets of having hot sex with a girl who thinks I'm the scum of the earth.

I take the joint and inhale.

Roxy's hands move up my chest. "I can make you happy, EJ," she whispers. "Give me another chance."

Being high and drunk makes me confused. And when the image of Bella and Mike with their arms around each other at school yesterday forms in my head, I pull Roxanne closer.

I don't need a girl like Bella.

I need hot and spicy Roxanne, my lying little mermaid.

Hey guys. I just wanted to let you know that the people I pictured for Aaron, Luis and Roxy on on my page.

Check out the links, its all there.

Review!