Chapter 6.

The landscape's transition from tepid autumn plains to unrelenting snowscape was by no means delicate but went unnoticed by the knight until she was nearly destroyed by its ferocity. Staggering forward with no conscious objective, she kept her gaze steadily up towards the foggy mountains, perhaps unawarely searching for something, perhaps just trying to maintain a steady footing in the loose, flurrying snow.

She could vaguely remember her own name. She could vaguely remember that she had once had a purpose. It seemed so distant. More often than not her mind was a blank slate, however remembrance would sometimes fall upon her like a cold, suffocating cover, rendering her endlessly grief-stricken until she yet again pressed on, driven entirely by instinct.

How long had she been in this state?

Her memories of the events that had led her to this, her entire former life, were obscured in a blurry haze that would have made her question its truthfulness were it not for the dreadful scars on her body, obstinately reminding her of what her errors had cost her.

Truly, how many months might have passed? Did time, or her own very existence, hold any significance anymore? Had she not had a traveling companion? Had she not been able to find shelter in the gentle, scattered auras of the Erdtree? They beckoned her no longer. All she could do was to roam.

She had been reduced to less than a beast.

Graceless. Maidenless.

Worthless.

She sank to her knees, weapon in hand but with no strength left to defend herself, and why would she? She should have fallen by her own hand a long time ago. That would have been just. However, it seemed as if fate was not quite done with her yet, as right beside her in her field of vision there were suddenly a pair of boots.

'What a mess… What a mess.' It was a man's voice. He crouched beside her, putting a large gloved hand on her head as he stroked her dirty hair. She was too weak to protest. 'There is no need to fret, my friend. Believe it if you will, but I am on your side. Now let us get you on your feet…'

Alas, her consciousness was already drifting away from her. Before the man could even try to help her up, she had passed out in the snow.

As she eventually came to, she was greeted by the first pleasant sensation she had experienced in the longest of time, although the smell of a large hare being roasted over open fire and the warmth of its lengthy flames offered her little comfort, as if she was too damaged to enjoy even the most fundamental of pleasures.

She eyed her savior intently as he took notice of her wakening. What a strange character he was. There was nothing particularly remarkable about his clothing in whole, but the large metallic headpiece obscured his face completely and shrouded him in an unsettling sense of mystery. Thankfully, her trident was still with her.

'Oh, you have finally awakened. Took you a whole day.' His voice was quite deep, but mundane in its tone save for a slight hint of something cunning. His intentions, as of yet, were impossible to discern. He took the hare off the spit and handed it to her whole, along with a pouch of water. 'Eat your fill', he said.

Her hunger had surpassed starvation. The hare, albeit perfectly cooked, was revolting and made her stomach turn, like her body had forgotten how to process nourishment. The water, perfectly crisp and clean, was hard to swallow and trickled down her chin as she struggled to contain it. It made the man chuckle.

'Easy, easy.' The meal did not yet offer her any comfort, but she kept wolfing. 'What is your name, Finger Knight?'

Her own tongue felt like a foreign object in her mouth. She had not spoken in a long time.

'… Linnae.' She could barely recognise her own voice. And neither did she know why she had revealed it to someone such as him. Maybe she was thankful, or her name and all that was tied to it had just lost its meaning and was not worth protecting anymore.

'Just Linnae?' The knight nodded.

'I am called Shabriri.'

Seeing the knight immediately jerk and draw back against the cave's wall had him laugh yet again, even more open-heartedly this time. 'Of course a devout knight such as yourself would know about me.'

Suddenly, she felt as if her insides were made of burning lead. Shabriri… That was the name of a demon, and no demon less than the one who was lord of…

An excruciatingly painful flood of memories came rushing back to her, causing her to gasp helplessly until she finally had strength to accuse the man in front of her.

'You… You cursed me!'

'Cursed, heh… Is that how you see it?' He approached her, her body still far too cold and weak to make any resistance. Crouching down, he ended up with his face just an arm's length from hers, making her press up further against the wall with her face twisted with aversion.

'I'm glad you know about me, Linnae.' He spoke her name softly, respectfully, with no hints of ill intent or disrespect. 'And I know what you've been through. It's been… Terribly hard for you, has it not? I understand this situation is far from ideal for a Finger Knight of your stature. You were just doing what you believed was right, and now everything is lost…'

She wanted to ask how he could know all this, but on the other hand, why would she need to? This… Demon… Of course he knew. The Lord of Chaos himself, as the Three Fingers had embraced her he had surely been right there, somehow, watching… And now he had finally found her, wasting no time in beginning to torment her. 'You could also see this as a sort of… New beginnings, Linnae. New possibilities.' Fiery smog began to protrude from under his mask, even though she could not see his eyes she knew full well what it meant as despair began to fill her. Why would he have to try to make her mad? She was already broken.

'The Finger Order is not of their right minds. That maiden of yours, she left you in the dirt without batting an eye for deviating from the ridiculously narrow and simple-minded path you have been following- but at the same time she would gladly have killed herself for you, would it mend this broken world. Hilarious… Now, stop resisting, Linnae. Or else I cannot help you.'

Every little figment of the knight's body wanted to fight his perverse intrusion. Would this have been a battle of pure physical strength, she might have had a good chance, she knew that. He did not even seem to carry anything to defend himself with. He probably did not need to, because this…

This was pure torture. This was a feeling that made you want to scream at the top of your burning lungs, it made you want to fall to the floor and try to escape your own writhing skin, it made you want to mercilessly rip your own eyeballs out of their sockets just to get rid of the suffocating, searing, unfathomable pain. And if only the pain would have been the worst part! Gods, if only! It was the perceptions that really killed you. The perceptions of a world in complete fiery chaos, where nothing made sense, nothing was in order, where sickness and death and despair reaped life after life after life and you saw exactly how hopeless mankind's endeavors really was, her own Order the worst of them all, with their never ending search for balance…

Her only option was to submit to it, because the moment she did, and her entire being breathed out in a disencumbered gasp, her agony began ebbing out and instantaneously filling up with… Covetousness, enticement… Vitality. Like the complete disorder of the world was as perfectly comforting as it was natural. If you really gave it a proper thought… Why should anyone try to control what could never, under any circumstances, be controlled? Why even try to maintain that illusion?

'It's not so bad, is it? Shabribri was content. 'If you just give in to it… You have felt before how good it can be. Only a fool would fight it, but unfortunately, most people are fools…'

He was silent for a moment, closely inspecting her. 'Your eyes, they do remind me of someone… Oh! Oh…' He burst into laughter again, a rumbling, menacing laugh. 'Oh, it's nothing, dear Knight. It is just… A small world, sometimes.' Perhaps she wasn't the first Finger Knight he'd had in his malicious grasp. How many before her could have fallen victim for him? How many had perished by his hand?

'You are far away from home, Linnae. You know that. And there's nothing out here waiting for you but a cold, lonely death, unless you were aiming to… Burn yourself. It could actually be seen from the cave's entrance, if you just looked close enough. It was right there, not more than a blurred dark shape on the mountain's niveous contour, but one aware of its existence would not be able to miss it. Was that what her eyes had been endlessly scouting on the horizon? The Forge of the Giants… Tirelessly guarded by titans only madmen would attempt such a task, because this massive, ever-burning kiln held the power to…

Burn the Erdtree. Banish order.

'Do you not know? How interesting. But if you did, dear Linnae, do not think that it would be your demise. Oh, no, no. Far from. Why else would you strive so diligently towards it was it not for acclaiming lordship?

'Lord…Ship…?' The knight did not understand.

'I can tell the insight has already come to you, Linnae. A Finger Knight like you is only wasting their time. There is nothing to mend. Nothing to rule over. This Land… Is not meant to function like that. And a tarnished is even worse, for they would throw away their own life, or far more despicably, the life of a malleable maiden, for this fruitless purpose. Tsk…' He scoffed, clearly disgusted with the mere thought of it. 'However… There is another way to be lord. A… true way.' 'I have no purpose', she knight said meekly, but he would not even recognise her protest. 'I can see why the Fingers called for you, Linnae. You are…' His hand reached for her shoulder, tracing the outlines of her left arm. 'Perfect. Malnourished, but that can be corrected. Your mind, however is… Fragile, in comparison. That is why we should cooperate. You see, this body is not mine. I have merely… inhabited it. And it is dying.

'You are… Going to kill me.'

'Kill? Oh, but you misunderstand me! You think you would have to give your life in order for me to have your body. Nothing could be more wrong, my friend. You see, I am… A force. A power. Would you lend me your body, we would live alongside each other, like partners. You would not die… Unless you tried to refuse me, that is. His hand now moved to her jawline, holding it firmly and making it impossible for her to move her head. 'But there is no reason for you to do such a thing. All this pain, all this confusion that is tormenting you… Would disappear.

The knight tried to shake her head. It did not budge, although his hold softened so that he would not seem all too cruel.

'You chose to meet with the Three Fingers. That is proof enough that you wanted this. This is not destiny or any such nonsense, this is simply raw attraction towards a very much attainable ambition and you should acknowledge it! Just imagine it, Linnae! We are so close, the forge is within our reach, and then we could finally burn that damned Erdtree to ashes and reign as lords in a new world governed by nothing but the natural order, Chaos… Oh, just to ponder it…

Tears were running down her cheeks now, a soundless cry that awakened no sympathy from the demon. No strength to fight him, no strength to endure him, all she could do was to suffer. 'Linnae, Linnae…' He let go of his grip, such decisiveness was not needed with someone as feeble as her. 'I am not going to kill you. We will make great things, you and I. Besides… I am not quite done with this body. And you need to regain some of your former strength. That is why you need to rest here, say for a few days, before we can reach the forge together and complete our pact. The glow was still emanating out from the gaps of his helmet. 'You have nothing to fear, you and I will-'

'Stop… Stop… Please stop…'

The knight lost consciousness.

She dreamt.

In her dream, another woman was with her. Her visage was obscured, but just a head shorter than herself and clad in robes it had to be… Her… But she had left her after her fault, she wanted nothing more to do with her, and during the time Linnae had spent mindlessly wandering this Land she had persistently forced herself to forget all about her. There were no feelings left for her, no love, no hate, no… Nothing. Even the very idea of her was gone.

So why would Shabriri show her standing beside the maiden who left her? Why would he show her something like that at all? He had clearly expressed that she was better off without a maiden. That it was more just.

Maybe it was not him. Maybe it was just an effect of the curse that no one had any control over. Maybe it was just her own mind playing tricks on her…

When she woke up, many hours had passed. Her body still throbbed sluggishly, but the food in her belly had finally managed to soothe her and her body was warm. Shabriri was not there. How peculiar. If he desired her body so badly, why would he leave her unprotected? He must have reasoned that she would be too weak to escape. Too weak and too heavily under his influence. Her legs quivered as she rose, and as she stared anxiously at the kiln in the distance she understood that such was her situation. She was indeed too weak to escape on her own device.

Had she really been striving for months to get to this place? Did she… want this? She wrapped her arms around her body. It was true that she no longer had a purpose. The history of Linnae Regal of the Finger Order had come to an end. Surely she had returned home and revealed to everyone what she had done. Surely she would be banished if she set foot back on the Isle now, would she not be immediately hanged or burned. But, then again… Why should she not accept her punishment? She could kill herself here and now. It would not even be difficult to take her own life. She had wanted to do it, back there, but impulsions had degraded her into the vulgar state which had caused her to pursue this Gods-forsaken place for numerous moons.

Shabriri needed her alive. She could rob him of that opportunity, at this very moment.

Maybe it would be for the best…

She shook her head furiously.

No, no, no!

Enough with this selfish nonsense! She clutched the sides of her head, bending over as if her own reasoning made her sick to her stomach. She had to… She had to go back. Not for herself, not even for the dignity of atoning for her sins, but for the safety of her people. Else she could risk burning them all, by his will but by her own hand.

She must go back.

But how? She was far too exhausted and the demon would soon come back for her. He must have been the one who cleared her mind, perhaps one who had been mindless such as she could not be useful to him. She remembered that following the setting sun would eventually lead her to port, and suddenly she could bittersweetly recall the only one who could bring her there.

Oh, she could just hope he had not been taken from her, too.

She whistled, and Moonveil appeared upon the newly fallen snow before her. The mere sight of him had her awestruck, how long it had been since she had seen her friend! He whinnied lowly, perplexed as he had not been called for such a great amount of time, somehow yet understanding to whatever might have been the reason for her absence. 'I am so sorry..' The knight wanted to fall into tears as his large head nuzzled her, throat aching and eyes stinging without the sweet release of weeping.

With effort she managed to heave herself onto the horse's back, and with the trident strapped to her back outside her billowing mantle she prepared her swift escape. Surely, the demon had not expected her to have a spirit steed in her possession, and de-escalate even such a steep, rugged summit would be no match for him. 'We need to leave, my friend, right now', she whispered into his long fuzzy ear and so they set off with haste, not once looking back and not once feeling that awful presence ghosting behind her.

She soon found that she was yet again welcomed into Grace's protection, as the Gods must have found her worthy again and her cause of proper dignity. She was certain that her life was coming to an end at the ripe age of almost twenty-five, but would her death atone for her sins and prevent her from doing harm in Shabriri's shape, it would be well. She knew he would find someone else, and it pained her that she had not been nearly strong enough to face him.

She silently wondered what kind of person would be able to defeat him. And who, if not her, would he try to take as his new vessel?

If only she had not been so weak…