Chapter 26
They literally sparkle in sunlight. It was a little disorienting at first but I adjust quickly and promptly started laughing hysterically as I thought of every vampire in literature sparkling in sunlight. I could actually see Anne Rice's Lestat or Buffy's Spike or even Angel gluing glitter to their skin in envy. When I told them why I was laughing like a nut they joined me and Emmet grinned like a moron. I have a feeling there may come a day when I wake up with glitter all over me. Oh well I will probably laugh with him then demand to know how to get it off.
Judging by Edward's glare my thoughts were right. We spent hours just talking in the middle of the woods until I shivered and it was deemed time to take the human home. Esme promised to bring some if not all the rest of the cake over to my house when they dropped me off. I was tired but happy as I lay on the couch staring at the ceiling. It was a good day and I celebrated to of the most important people in my life with other important people.
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"Bella?" Charlie called and I shot up on the couch and nearly fell off. Charlie got a kick out of that and sat down next to me. "So no school today?" he asked and I nodded, I had forgotten to call the school or him. "Have fun kiddo?"
"Yup. It was marvellous. They gave me way too much stuff but it was all perfect and lovely. I didn't even complain." I told him sounding like a little kid after going to the toy store. "Esme and Carlisle bought me two sets of pearls one black and the other white for Clara." I said as I stroked the pearls. "Alice has enforced the I'm going to take you shopping offer, Rose is going to fix up Nia and Emmet got me a Baseball uniform circa like 50 years ago. And Edward bought me Treehouse." I said finishing my list. Charlie looked at me impressed when I said that Edward had bought it for me.
"Wow those are some nice gifts Bells. That painting is quite a bit of money." He said and I nodded. I had looked it up a few years ago because I wanted it back so badly. It was one of many that I regretted selling.
"The cake is in the kitchen. Esme said she didn't want them to pig out on it so sent it over to us." I told him as he went to help himself to a heap of cake. When he sat down again he was buried behind the 'slice' of cake.
"Mmmmm." Was all I got from him as he got another slice. I knew he probably hadn't eaten much today so I didn't bug him about eating half of the cake. I kissed him good night and went to bed tired but okay. It was a nice feeling to remember my family and yet not want to cry over the loss of them.
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I didn't sleep through the night though. I ended up sitting at my window thinking about everything. I was still wearing the pearls that Esme and Carlisle had given me. The feeling of them warm from my body heat was lovely and reminded me of them and their unbelievable kindness. Wearing only my pyjama shorts and a thin tank it was cold sitting by the open window but the chill didn't bother me tonight.
"You really ought to get some sleep Bella." Edward's voice said from the darkness below me and I nearly fell out the window I was so startled by it. "Sorry." He pushed me back from the window and stepped into my room.
"Not your fault that you make little to no sound when you move." I said as my breathing returned to normal. Edward chuckled at me and sat down on my bed. I blushed and was thankful for the dark until I realised he could probably see just as clearly. Oh well it was the first time I had ever had a boy in my room and well for it to be Edward just made it more embarrassing. I wonder what he thinks of my room, was it really plain to him?
"You really ought to get some sleep Bella." Edward chastised me and I shrugged.
"Been there done that. Did Alice send you?" I asked wondering how he knew I was awake. He smiled but shook his head.
"I was wandering around and found myself here. I noticed you were awake." He said and I nodded. I wonder what I would do with all the free time. But I couldn't imagine no longer sleeping it was such a constant thing to me.
"What do you do with most of your nights Edward?" I asked curious about the boy that had lived for a century or so, I think. He smirked and then seemed uncomfortable; I believe he would be blushing right now if he could.
"Actually this isn't the first time I've ended up coming here." He said and I blushed purple. He had come over to my house in the night? It should have creeped me out, like really made Edward creepy and well stalker-ish but somehow it didn't. I mean if he had told me a few days ago I probably would have run and told his mom to keep him away from me and then promptly began crying in her arms.
"Stalker much?" I asked and he looked really uncomfortable. "Kidding Edward, just tell me you haven't been watching me sleep. That would be a little too weird." Edward chuckled and nodded.
"Can't say I've done that. Mostly I would just end up here when I was running really without thinking about it. I have sat in your tree before and listened to you and Charlie talk." He added obviously trying not to freak me out and yet be honest.
"I bet we haven't been very entertaining." I told him and he shook his head with a smirk on his lips. The urge to kiss him pushed me an inch forward before I pushed it aside. Definitely didn't want to freak out my stalker.
"I find most things about you fascinating." He admitted and I went for it. I put my lips to his at first he didn't react then he pulled away. He didn't like me that way. Okay well give a girl enough positive signs and she's got to try for it really. Suddenly his lips were back on mine. I was elated and then realised I smelled appealing to him and I had probably invaded his personal space. "I have wanted to do that for quite some time."
"Really? Cause a little practice might have enhanced the experience for me." I told him and his face fell before I closed the distance between us. "Yes I do believe each kiss is better than the last." I said as I rested my forehead against his and sighed.
"You never do what I expect you to do." Edward commented and I snickered.
"Where's the fun in life if you do what's expected all the time?" I asked and he smiled at me. "So what does this make us? Sex-buds?" I asked giggling slightly.
"Sex... buds?" Edward asked alarmed and unnerved I laughed at him and he seemed to relax somewhat. "Bella, you are at risk just being around me. I would never endanger your life." He declared and I pulled away from him and looked at him hard.
"Risk yes. But don't feel the need to protect me from everything Edward. That's suffocating and unrealistic. I love you but if you're the one deciding how my life is to be lived I won't be with you." I told him directly.
"You love me?" he asked and I realised he may not have heard the rest when I let that slip.
"No Edward I hate you deeply. Of course I love you." I told him looking him directly in the eye.
"As I love you." He answered and my heart wavered. He loved me, my heart filled with joy as his lips pressed gently against mine. That was going to get old fast even if I loved it.
"Understand something Edward. I want to be with you forever and I will do anything I can to have that." I stated and Edward opened his mouth but I put my finger to his lips silencing him. "I have lost people I have loved and know that is the only thing that would destroy me. If I let you go a part of me will die and I'm not sure how much is left. But if you try and shape my life into what you see as right I will leave. Even if it kills me to do so I will leave. My father tried to protect me from his pain and hurt me I won't let you do that."
"Okay. But please know that I love you and it will be hard not to want to protect you." He said as his fingers traced the edges of my face.
"The only way to protect me from the greatest harm is to keep yourself safe. I don't want to loose anyone else I love." I told him truthfully.
"Please understand that I don't want this life for you. I don't want to take your life from you." He said sadness colouring his words. What did he mean take my life from me? Did he mean change me into a vampire?
"I don't understand Edward." I told him and he smiled and pulled me onto the bed.
"You should have a normal human life, with children and grandchildren. I can't give you that." He told me and I realised he meant what I would have to give up to have him.
I have always wanted to have kids even when I fear that I may loose them much too quickly, like Clara. With Edward there would be no little kids running about laughing as I had dreamed. But I had my mothering period to not have it again would be sad but not life alteringly so. Clara had given me a child mother relationship and I cherished it but I loved Edward more than a dream that may never have happened anyway right?
"Edward you are what I want. Well that and your family." I said with a smile. I was totally using him for his family, not. "I don't mind not being able to have children, if it means I get to have you forever." He sat upright and rigid and I wondered what I had said.
"I will not change you Bella. I can't take your soul." He said heart felt and saddened.
"What are you talking about Edward?" I asked as I traced his face in my hands. He looked at me and seemed to sigh and relax. "I would never force you to do something you seem so against. But really Edward if the options were for me to die or for me to be changed what would you choose?" I asked wondering what it was that angered him so about being what he was.
"I am a soulless monster Bella." He told me and I laughed and fell back on the bed as my laughter filled me. "It is not a joke Bella. I have killed people." He told me voice empty and agonizing.
"Edward my father beat me because as I gave everything I could and still my sister died. I know the look of a monster and if you think you or any of your family are monsters then you're lying." I told him set in my words and angry back him. How dare he consider himself a monster? Okay the whole I've killed people is not so good but really I doubt he went after defenceless children. I couldn't see any of them as monsters not when they are capable of such kindness and love.
"Forgive me." He said as he looked down at me and sat down again. "But we consume blood, for years I killed humans, horrible humans but still." I looked at him and let him see how little I cared. If he hurt monsters, then he may not be the nicest person on the planet but still, he was better than most.
"Edward, understand something. At some point you will loose me." I told him and his entire body tensed at the thought. "The only way to prevent it would be to change me into what you are. Know that it means little to me to be human or vampire. What is your choice my death or my change?" I asked him because if he told me death then I wouldn't bother him about changing me. I would bother him about living on past me and being happy in life with his family.
"For myself I would change you for your sake I choose death." He answered and I rolled my eyes.
"And Edward goes for the non-answer yet again." I said glaring at him.
"I would rather you live in some form than not at all." He answered though I knew it cost him much to say it.
"Good answer. Now stop thinking about such horrible things for there is much time before such things need be contemplated." I told him as I pulled him to the bed with me and kissed him. I wanted more but he pulled away and eyed me suspiciously. "Fine then be my cold pillow mister chastity." Really going to get old.
I rested my head against his chest and listened to his breathing as he began to hum and lovely haunting song. My mind drifted and I was asleep moments later.