Chapter 29

I danced around my house to the radio blaring while Edward chuckled in Charlie's regular seat. It was an odd comparison really Edward and Charlie I mean both loved me fiercely and would go to great lengths to make me smile. The type of love was so different though, Edward seemed to gaze at me as though newly acquainted with the moon and in awe. Where as Charlie looked at me like I was home, like I was his daughter not his niece. Charlie made me feel safe that has everything to do with being in a father's arms where as Edward was new and well yeah.

Attempting to do a spin I landed on my butt laughing madly. Edward offered me a hand up off the floor and I tugged on him and he complied and slipped oddly gracefully to the floor. Wrapping my arms around him I kissed him and rested my head on his chest. This new form of love was over powering and fantastic.

"I never felt like this before." I told him with a smile, "I don't think I'll ever feel like this for someone else you're my match Edward Cullen be prepared to deal with my lunacy for a long irritating life time!" I giggled at that and smiled as I leaned into him content.

"Noted. Would be alright for Charlie to see you and me sitting on his kitchen floor?" he asked wary and looking towards the door. Oh he must be pulling into the driveway.

"I don't see why not. He'll probably give you the father daughter talk but like you for getting me to smile like the wacko I am." I told him honestly as I smelt something on the stove turn to the nearly burning smell. "Carp!" I screeched as I jumped up and removed the pasta sauce from the element.

"Carp?" Edward asked as he removed himself from the floor and returned to his seat.

"What I hung out with some one 8 years younger than me for quite sometime. Swearing alternatives come naturally after that." I told him sticking my tongue out playfully. Then one of my favourite songs came on and I grabbed Edward and began to dance with him to 'Monster Hospital' by Metric.

Charlie came in to the sight of me singing along badly and Edward and me dancing once again badly. I didn't want to dance well just have fun. Needless to say Charlie found the humour in it and joined me in my escapades. I hadn't been this random since at least four years ago and I knew he liked my smiles.

"So its dinner and a show tonight Bells?" Charlie shouted over the music as I turned it down and stuck out my tongue. "What did you burn tonight?" he asked and I smacked his arm for the comment.

"Ouch, be mean to the kid who cooks dinner why don't yah!" I replied as I checked over the pasta and strained it. "And I thought you would like mushroom Alfredo with some of the white fish you brought home two weeks ago." I answered as I pulled a beer out from the fridge and opened it for him.

"You spoil me Bells, Edward staying for dinner?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Esme would kill me if I spoiled his appetite Charlie." I scolded him and then smiled at him. "Charlie, me and Edward are dating now, you don't mind do you?" I asked and he smiled at me happily.

"Sure but I have a right to have a talk with him, Edward?" he asked gesturing towards the front room.

"Don't scare this one away Charlie, I'm running out of husband material." I said with an eye roll. Edward as my husband? I blushed crimson and was thankful that neither one could see it. The image of me walking down the isle towards Edward was not unwelcome but surely I'm too young together married? Well Edward certainly isn't, is he interested in me as his wife? My mind began to dance with images of me and Edward and felt nauseous but not in a bad way?

Considering the period when Edward assuming he's over 80 would suggest that he is the age that would marry. Oh wow, let's not get ahead of our self Bella. Man am I glad the boy can't hear my thoughts or I would so be dead from embarrassment. I could hear Charlie talking but had no idea what he was saying, not that it mattered. Both of them care for me so there's really no need to be worried.

Edward doesn't seem the type to get bored and leave. And Alice would kill him, heck I think Jasper and his parents would kill him if he did that. My heart steady as I realised this and I went back to mixing the sauce in with the pasta the way Charlie liked it. There was just enough fish in relation to how much pasta so I was pleased when I set it down for dinner. I always put either way too much or not enough seems today I got it right.

"Hey Bella." Charlie called as I entered the front room. Edward and Charlie were sitting facing each other, guess they were still chatting. "All done, he doesn't seem too scared." I shrugged and eyed Edward.

"If you say so but I think I can see all the whites of his eyes." I replied sitting on Edward's lap, "And he's shaking ever so slightly." I replied with a smile as Edward rolled his eyes, guess he was picking up my habits.

"I should be getting home for dinner." Edward said and I stood to let him up he kissed the top of my head and nodded to Charlie. "Have a good night." As Edward walked slowly out and down the street Charlie pulled me into a hug.

"He seems to make you all sorts of happy Bella. Never had any trouble with him or his siblings, all in all he seems to be a good guy. But if anything changes tell me okay kiddo?" Charlie said and I nodded as I pulled him towards dinner.

"Promise." I told him not wanting him to worry. Sides, if things went belly up with Edward, doubtful but still, I would run to Charlie. There was a game on so Charlie ended up watching that while I did my homework on the floor next to him, or normal game night routine. Kissing Charlie good night I packed up my stuff and went up to shower painting had made me feel grungy even after I got most of it off. My strawberry shampoo smelled wonderful as I cleaned the day off of my skin. When the hot water began to cool I got out and wrapped myself in the large green towel that marked the need to do laundry again.

I walked to my room and passed a sleepy looking Charlie giving him a quick goodnight kiss before entering my room. Turning around I noted Edward sitting in my rocking chair and smiled at him and pulled out my big t-shirt and short combo. Edward stood up and turned to face my windows like a gentleman. Shaking my head and smiling I quickly changed and began to dry my hair as I sat down on the bed.

"Spending the night again?" I asked hopeful and yet trying not to be demanding. He smiled and nodded as he kissed me sitting down on the bed next to me. Lying back and enjoying his company we were silent until he began to hum again. "What song is that?" I asked loving the melody it sounded like a lullaby.

"It's a lullaby that I'm composing for you." He answered and I blushed at the thought of him creating this lovely song for me. "Do you like it?" I nodded my answer and he chuckled before continuing humming.

For a while I drifted and listened to his sweet voice as I thought about how wonderful he was. So kind and caring, passionate and intelligent the fact that he was physically amazing just tipped the scales even further. I wonder what it is he sees in me that makes him love me as he seems to. The day I told the Cullen's my past they said I was strong, generous, giving, kind, and smart. I still didn't think I was anything special, I mean I'm not an idiot but I'm nowhere near brilliant. Pushing aside my doubts I lay there basking in the presence of the boy I loved and who loved me.

"Edward?" I asked after a great time and he shifted to look down at me. "When you were human were you of a marrying age?" My mind had drifted to this topic again and again in the silence so figured I might as well ask.

"I suppose I was, though my interests were more in joining the war why?" he asked and I smiled up at him. He had not been about to marry when he was changed.

"I was thinking about the differences in our cultures, they're not great things but at 17 you were an adult basically. Where as now were considered to still be children, well teens but still." I answered.

"Did this line of thought come from your comment earlier?" he asked and I nodded as he chuckled. "Does the thought of marrying me scare you so?" I smiled up at him and yet it felt false.

"Well actually yes." I replied and he stilled next to me as he waited for my next words. "Edward, I love you surprisingly with all of my heart. I have only loved three people so completely. My mother, father and little sister so you see my issue." Edward hugged me to his side as I spoke.

"I am not going to leave you Bella." He answered and I smiled bitterly.

"My greatest fear from basically loosing all of them is to cause that type of pain in someone I love deeply. When I leave you if you feel as I do..." I began.

"I love you with everything I am my Bella." He commented and I rolled my eyes as I flushed with pleasure.

"Then it will cause you pain when I die. I hate the thought of being the one to hurt you so almost enough to prevent you from loving me." I finished in a small voice; if he would have to watch me die I would leave. I had watched those I loved leave me in so many different ways that imagining someone in the same position just hurt unimaginably.

"I think I understand Bella. The thought of loosing you weighs on me greatly, and now that you have told me I will think on the future. But the very idea of destroying your soul is blasphemy." Edward told me though I can't imagine what he saw in his mind as he said those words.

"Edward how can you be soulless, there must be goodness in something that can love. Think of Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, and Rose and Emmet and tell me that none of you have a soul." I said seething at his dark presumptions.

"Edward, do you feel guilt, empathy, sadness, remorse?" I asked formulating a possible way to shine light on his moodiness.

"Yes." He answered though I could tell he was trying to figure out where I was going.

"Do you have a conscious?" I asked again and Edward seemed to see where I was going.

"Yes, but..." he began before I silenced him with my hand over his mouth.

"How could you have these things if you're as soulless as an animal? They don't feel guilt when they kill, they can't imagine anything but themselves, and they live only in the moment and care little for the future. You have told me you think forward, that you care about the people that are supposed to be your food, that you regret killing them. How are you soulless Edward? Because you have instincts to feed like every other living thing?" I told him moving my hands to the sides of his face. He seemed to hear my words and think on them; better than a simple no.

"I have no answer to that." He finally admitted and I could see him struggling with these new ideas.

"You are no longer human, you are a vampire but you have fought instincts to become more just, as man evolved. You are good and have a soul Edward." I told him as I kissed him just as gently as he always kisses me proving my point. "I couldn't love a soulless demon Edward and I love you more than anything." I rested my head back down on the pillow and looked up at him.

"Carlisle has been trying to tell me we have souls for a very long time." Edward said as he took my hand in his. "Yet it is the girl in front of me that makes me truly think it possible." He finished as he kissed my hand. I smiled up at him and sadly yawned. "Sleep now Bella." He brushed my hair from my face and began to hum my lullaby.