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The sword hit the snow with a soft thud. I clenched my hands at my sides to stop them from shaking. She looked up at me, eyes wide.
"A life for a life," I whispered. "My debt is repaid." I took one last glance at the woman before me. I trusted you. And I walked away.
"Move out," I ordered. But Chi Fu was instantly beside me, stuttering.
"But, but you can't just–" I gripped him by the collar.
"I said, Move. Out." I could hear the venom in my voice. My words were thick and slimy, harsh enough to ensure it was steady and even. I pushed him away from me and continued walking. Every step I took held punishing words. Failure. Weak. Coward. I didn't look back.
We moved silently through the snow, no one speaking. The only sound was our footsteps and the echo of our breathing. Chi Fu was glaring at me, his mousy face and beady eyes staring me down, giving me his familiar disapproving look. But I didn't care. Not now. Not when I had a million other things running through my mind.
How could I not have known? I should have realized. I fought through all of my memories, looking for a sign I could have missed. The high voice, the awkwardness, the obsessive privacy. But the strength, determination, the bravery. A soldier. Definitely a soldier.
I thought of Ping – Mulan– huddled in the snow. She looked so small, so...helpless... so beautiful. No! She was a traitor. A criminal. He lied to you! She! She lied to you! But no, that's not true. It was Ping who lied. Mulan took her father's place. Saved his life. But they were the same weren't they?
And that was the question that pounded through me; that made my head ache. Ping, Mulan. Mulan, Ping. Were they the same person? Ping was a soldier, brave and fierce. A warrior. Mulan was fragile. Pale. And, well, a... a woman. But it was Mulan all along. She was Ping. She is Ping. I sighed, a sharp pain running through my head. It was best to just forget. And, as this thought ran into my mind, I saw the Imperial City on the horizon, the sun rising behind it like a beckon of hope, of light, of safety. We made it.
The tall doors swung wide before us. Pillars rose up before us, adorned in smooth gold which climbed up to the ceiling like vines. I lead the men into the throne room. The Emperor sat upon the dais, his back resting tall against his chair. His eyes held the worn look of old parchment, flat, dull. I reached the dais and knelt before him, bowing my head. The clearing of his throat was my indication to rise, and I did so.
"Your Majesty, your Imperial Army," my voice grew thick again, and I struggled with my emotions. "Your Imperial Army has been attacked." His face grew grim, his usually sharp eyes darkened. "There were no survivors." My voice shook, and I silently cursed my emotion.
The Emperor nodded. When he spoke, his voice was heavy and grave. "Well, I suppose we need to rework our plans." I sensed Chi Fu stiffen beside me. Imagine that, a cowardly rat, the General of China's greatest army.
I shook my head, trying to hide my tear-filled eyes. Don't make your father ashamed of you. Do NOT cry. "We also had an encounter of our own with the Hun army." And I told him. I told him everything. My throat constricted as I mentioned Ping – Mulan – and I had to clear my throat to continue. When I finally finished, the light returned to his eyes, his posture heightened. He stepped down from his throne, his wrinkled face seemed to hold laughter in itself.
"You are heroes," he looked at each of us, "Every one of you. You have saved us all." A smile spread over his face, like a light turning on, a mirror catching the sun. "All of China will celebrate in your honour."
I sat uncomfortably in the saddle, staring at the closed doors. Red, just like everything else here. The other men shifted nervously behind me. I heard the echo of a booming voice and the roar of the crowd. The doors before me opened. Lights. Streamers. People. A sea of people. I stepped out of the darkness.
Cheers. They echoed through the crowd. I could not think of anything but. Ping. Mulan! I silently cursed. She was the real hero. She was the one who saved China. Who saved me. And I brushed her aside because.... Because why? Because she was a woman? Because I couldn't handle it?What had I done?
But she was a criminal, right? I let out a low growl. This was giving me yet another headache. I looked behind me. The troops looked solemn, enable to enjoy this moment when she was so obviously absent. The guilt was starting to get to me, I knew. I remembered how she had called my name. Shang! I can explain! Shang! Shang!
"Shang!" I blinked. Was that...? And suddenly, she was there, her face flustered yet determined.
"Mulan?"
"The Huns are alive! They're in the city!" No, not possible. I saw them die. The pain I had tried so hard to suppress cut through me again, and I felt tears bite into my eyes again. I would not feel guilty.
"You don't belong here, Mulan," I hissed. "Go home." Nice, Shang. That'll help the guilt. But nevertheless, I rode forward. But I was right about her determination, and she caught up to me in a manner of seconds.
"Shang, I sawthem in the mountains! You have to believe me!" Part of me wanted to, but I thought of walking through the tent flap. Seeing..... her. Pain and anger boiled within me once again.
"Why should I?" Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed together. She rode forwards, but cut off my path.
"Why else would I come back?" I couldn't think of an answer. "You said you trust Ping! Why is Mulan any different?" And there it was. The question that haunted since I had unsheathed her sword on the mountain. Was there a difference?
Speechless, I took the coward's way out. I ran. I swerved around her and left her behind. For the second time.
As we reached the final steps of our ride, I dismounted. The applause was thunderous, shaking the cobblestone street. The troops made their way up the steps, dragging their feet and looking depressingly downwards. I told a bitter gulp and pulled my heavy legs up the stairs.
Approaching the Emperor, I now stood at the top of the steps, with an ocean of cheering people behind me. Fireworks exploded in the air, trailing to the ground like the tail of a dragon; twisting and waving. Drums thundered behind me. I turned to Chi Fu, and he handed me Shan-Yu's sword. I gripped on to it, praying that it wouldn't slip in my sweaty palms. The gong sounded. Silence.
The Emperor raised his hands to his people. "My children! The heavens smile down upon the middle kingdom!" His voice echoed through the crowd. "China will sleep safely tonight, thanks to our brave warriors." Thanks to Ping. The sea of people erupted into cheers. I looked down at the sword. This was not my honour. I swallowed my guilt.
"Your majesty. I present to you the sword of Shan Yu." I bowed and offered him the heavy sword. He looked down at me.
"I know what this means to you, Captain Li. Your father would have been very proud." I looked up in surprise. My heart sang. My ears rang. My father. I gave a weak smile, almost unable to comprehend what he had just said. I had always begged for my father's approval. And now? I had finally earned it? As ridiculous as it seemed, I felt completed. Finished. I had achieved my greatest goal. Now what?
A horrible cry pierced the air. The sword was snatched from my hand. I looked up. The great creature soared through the air, towards the roof. A hand shot up from the darkness. Shan Yu.
She was right. I had ignored her, because of my own pride. Because of my own anger. And now all of China would pay.
My hand immediately went to the hilt of my sword, and I heard the tearing of paper. Huns burst from the celebratory costume dragon behind me. I drew my sword, but was quickly outmatched and was thrown aside. My head hit the stone stairs and my head rang. The Emperor! He was dragged up the steps and through the doors. No!
I charged up the steps. So close! But the heavy doors swung shut just as I reached them. NO! I slammed my fist against the wood. The sturdy doors seemed to mock me, my weakness. Defeated, I rested my forehead against the smooth surface. The other men reached me quickly. I looked around desperately.
"Grab the statue!" Chien Po grabbed the heavy stone, and rocked it forward. It wobbled and slowly fell into the waiting hands of the troops. "Now!" The stone hit the door and sent a painful vibration through my arms. "Now!" Another hit. No movement. A sharp whistle made us all turn. Mulan!
"Hey guys!" We all turned. "I've got an idea." And she was gone, racing away from us. We exchanged a quick glance. Yao, Ling, and Chien Po dropped the statue and took off after her. Shifting the incredibly heavy stone in my arms, I glared after them, an inner battle roaring through my veins. She saved China. I had left her behind, and she had come back to save China. I had left her behind again, and now she had a plan to save China. With a sigh, I finally let go of the cool stone and flew after them, hoping I would reach them in time.
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