This one was a bitch to write, particularly the ending. I wanted to stick with continuity. Harder than I thought.
The ending probably sucks because of it.
UPDATE: Added the lines. They actually do really make things clearer.
Normandy
Shepard sat on his chair, his hands holding an OSD.
He thought the hours Rael'Zorah, Tali's father, and his crew had worked on this data, and all the people who had died for it.
It would be such a waste to just throw it out of the airlock.
But there was actually no other way to use it. Without revealing Rael as the mastermind behind the accident on Alarei, that is.
He tossed it on the table, sighing.
His personal inter-comm rang, signaling that someone was pressing his 'doorbell'.
"Shepard, it's Tali", Tali said through the comm.
"Could you come back later? I'm in the middle of something", Shepard lied, not really wanting to have a emotive conversation with her again.
There was a silence, and he thought he had gotten rid of her, when the comm rang again.
"You're not drinking? Are you?", she asked, with both curious and worried tone at the same time.
"I don't drink", Shepard answered, his voice annoyed.
"Then what are you doing?", she pressed on.
He let out an annoyed sigh before answering.
"Thinking"
"Well could you think with me in the room? I want to talk you"
"Talk to someone else"
"No", she said with a commanding tone.
"Fine", he snapped.
The door opened and the quarian stepped in.
She had been in his quarters before, but not alone.
It made her feel a bit anxious, nervous.
He had not said a word since the door opened, so she begun the conversation.
"You have not come to see me after the Alarei", she said accusingly, tilting her head. Her eyes narrowed, but a clear smirk could be heard in her voice.
"Sorry", he said blankly, his eyes staring emptily.
"It's okay"
She lied.
It had hurt.
There was a short silence, before she continued.
"What have you been doing in here for the two days?", she inquired, gazing around the room.
"Thinking"
"About what?"
Shepard had feared this question, and was why he had not wanted to see her.
Why he had not wanted to see anybody.
He had been thinking of her.
"Stuff", he said, poorly trying to avoid the question.
"Like what?", she asked, tilting her head,weighing him.
She was not going to let this go.
He had to tell her something.
The truth.
"That", he said, nodding towards his desk, on it rested the OSD of Rael.
Or some version of it.
She approached the desk, reaching out for the OSD.
"Is this..?", she asked, her voice quiet.
"Yeah"
"What are you going to do with this?", she asked, gazing at the disk.
He merely shrugged.
"All that research, all those lives lost. For nothing", he mumbled "Such a waste"
"You think we should have used the data?", Tali asked, her eyes narrowing.
"Yes"
"The way that insane Admiral Xen said?"
"Yes"
She did not believe what she was hearing. Her father's experiments were sick, and had cost tens of quarian lives.
She did want nothing more but to take back their Homeworld, but would never endanger the Fleet for it.
And Shepard had wanted to use it.
"What? Why?", she asked, her voice raising.
"It would have been the best solution", Shepard said simply. "From every point of view"
"Then why didn't you just use the damn disk!?", she yelled.
"Because you asked me not to!", he stood up from his chair, yelling back at her.
Damn it. He did not want to go through this again.
He sat back down, looking at the floor.
She was a bit taken back by his sudden burst of anger.
Then she suddenly realized something.
"S-so, so you're blaming me?", she asked, stuttering, with a unbelieving tone.
"No", Shepard snapped.
"Then what is wrong with you?!", she shouted a question.
It was extremely annoying that he kept dodging her every question, keeping her from the answer she desperately wanted.
He again stood up dramatically, staring at her, his eyes burning.
"What the hell do you want from me Tali!?", he shouted
"I want you to answer me!", she yelled back.
Why couldn't he just answer? Why did he keep her from the answer?
"I told you. I did not give them the data, because you asked me not to", he hissed coldly, his eyes still burning with anger.
But why? Why did her opinion mean so much? She needed to know the answer.
But only a certain answer.
Now she hissed:
"Why does my opinion matter?"
He did not know.
He had searched himself for two days to find answers, but he still did not know.
But he did know something.
He knew that any wound done to her, was a wound done to him.
He knew that her happiness was his happiness.
He knew that he would die for her.
But he did not understand any of this.
A million excuses came into his mind.
'It could hurt her'. 'It could hurt others'. 'Compromise the mission. 'He could not make her happy'. 'It is the best choice'.
But the truth was, that he was a coward.
There was no guarantee that neither of them would survive.
She would probably die.
Merely the thought of losing her...
It made him want to die.
He was so selfish.
He hated himself.
He lowered his gaze. "Because we are friends", he said quietly.
The answer.
She had expected it, but it did not ease the pain.
She felt all the anger within her fade away.
He had always been there for her.
Pilgrimage.
Her father.
The trial.
A friend.
Still, part of her had wished that they could be more.
It still wished it so.
But would be honoured to have such a friend.
She looked straight at him.
"Friends", she said quietly, and nodded.
She turned away and left, leaving him staring at the floor.
The elevator came, and she stepped inside.
The part wishing for his feelings surfaced.
It was not certain.
She would not give up.
The answer could change.
Maybe if he knew how she felt...
There was only one way to know.
She wanted to know.
She was not a coward.