Woo! Re-wrote the whole chapter. Turned out to be ten times longer.
It was extremely difficult to integrate the cheesy flirtations in the game into this.
But still, I think I hate this less than the last one.
Update: Added lines to this as well, let me know what you think.
Week later
Shepard walked towards the mess hall.
He grabbed a tray. A glass, a spoon and a plate all found their places on it.
He stopped right in the front of Sergeant Gardner.
"Shepard" he greeted, nodding , as he filled a scoop with soup, and emptied it on Shepard's plate.
Shepard nodded, and poured milk on his glass. He took his tray, and started to look for a place to eat.
He saw a place on the empty corner. Perfect.
He walked pass a few of his crew mates, all of them stiffing, their conversations freezing.
Shepard could feel their eyes following him all the way to his seat.
He sat down, and started to eat. He really did not want any company.
Of course, he never got what he wanted.
He saw a large figure towering over him.
The figure sat down on the opposite side.
"You look like crap", the turian joked, as he placed his tray on the table.
"That makes two of us", Shepard mumbled.
His eyes were bloodshot, dark bags hunged under his eyes and his skin was pale. He had not slept for almost a week.
There was also a dried up blood on his left hand's knuckles. He had punched the wall in frustration.
"Courteous as ever", Garrus retorted, smirking.
"Haven't seen you for a while, thought that Grunt ate you", he continued, still smirking.
Shepard did not answer. He was only staring his plate, brooding.
"Seriously, you wanna talk about it?", the turian asked, now serious.
"No", Shepard growled, annoyed.
Garrus tilted his head, his eyes narrowing.
"You're not drinking? Are you?", he asked, with a tone of worry.
"Why does everybody ask me that?", Shepard snapped, extremely annoyed. "I. Do. Not. Drink",
One word caught the turian's attention.
"Everybody?", he asked, with a curious tone.
"Forget it", Shepard said, waving him off.
There was a short silence, before the turian spoke.
"This is about the Alarei, isn't it?", he asked, eyes very narrow.
"It's nothing", Shepard growled again.
Garrus spread his arms dramatically.
"Oh, come on Shepard! You've barely even left your quarters after that! Whatta hell happened there?"
Shepard could feel his anger again bursting through.
"You were at the damn trial, you saw what happened!", Shepard tried to keep his voice low, anger dripping through it.
"I got Tali exiled, and all the data on that damn disk is now useless. All those people who died there, died for nothing!", he paused, drawing breath before continuing.
"That! That is what happened", he hissed from between his teeth.
Truly, Garrus had wondered why the Commander had not used the disk. He was actually pretty shocked that he did not reveal it to the Admiralty board.
So he asked.
"Well why didn't you just use the data?", his voice was calm and collected, unlike Shepard's.
Shepard just stared at his plate, not answering.
He had already gone through this crap with Tali, he was not going to go through it again.
So he did not answer.
"Fine", Garrus said, taking his tray and walking away.
God damn it.
He would talk to Garrus later and apologize.
Maybe he could even explain himself to him some day.
This could not go on.
It would end.
Shepard pressed a button on the elevator, sending it towards Engineering deck.
Hopefully she was still working.
The doors opened, and Shepard stepped out.
He entered the Core room, where right before him stood two of his engineers, back towards him.
The male one glanced behind him, hearing the door open. Immediately a wide grin spread over his face.
"Ah! It's 'The Rookie' !", he completely turned to Shepard "Come to rob me off again?"
The female poked Connelly hard to the ribs with her elbow.
"Commander", she said, standing in attention, saluting.
Although Shepard's mood was sour, he could not help but to chuckle at them.
Shepard nodded in response.
"Just walking by", he said a slight grin on his face.
"Aye, I would walk by here a lot too you know"
He tilted his head towards Tali, then draw a hourglass to the air, whistling lowly.
Daniels responded by poking him again to the ribs.'
Shepard could feel his spirits rising a bit, but this was not what he was here for.
"I'll talk to you later", he chuckled.
"Commander", Daniels responded, nodding.
He walked to Tali.
She was pretending that she had not noticed him.
Shepard poked at her shoulder
She turned around gracefully.
"Shepard? You need something?"
Shepard cleared his throat first before speaking.
He was nervous.
It was a feeling he did not feel often.
"Have a minute?", he asked, hoping his voice was not too raspy.
"Sure, just a sec",she answered, her voice light.
She turned towards the console, tapping a few buttons on it, then turned back towards him.
"Um..", Shepard begun awkwardly, then pointed his thumb towards the corridor that led to the drive core.
Her eyes narrowed curiously, but she followed Shepard without saying anything.
They stood before the large drive core, which flickered with blue lightning.
The lights from it reflected on both of their faces.
They stood before it, opposite of each other.
Shepard did not know how to begin.
Thankfully, he didn't have to.
She tilted her head and crossed her arms.
"What were you talking with Kenneth?", she asked suddenly.
She tried to sound as threatening as she could, wanting to bait him.
He knew that it was merely innocent joking, but he did not know how Tali would react on such things, since she had a hell of temperament. She was also quite traditional. It could make her uncomfortable.
"Oh, you know, engines" he lied, not very convincingly. He wove his hand nervously, as to dismiss the question.
She had succeeded, and a large grin spread over her face as she watched him squirm.
"Engines, huh?", she asked, her eyes narrowing even more.
It might have been the lack of sleep, but he heard a slight distortion in her voice, as if she was grinning.
"Well, you know how they are", he shrugged.
Crap. He did not know anything about engines. He barely even knew how the ship even worked.
He remembered one thing.
The couplings he had picked up for Connelly and Daniels.
"The power couplings are malfunctioning again", he said, as expertly as he could.
She knew she got him now.
"Well, what's wrong with them?", she said, with an overstressed worried tone.
Was she teasing him?
If she was, then he knew that she had him now, but he still desperately tried to get out.
"You know, the couplings are not always doing their...coupling thing with full capacity", he tried to explain, his speech stammering.
He sheepishly looked at the floor.
He could feel his cheeks blushing.
"Ah, crap", he muttered.
He lifted his head again, and could hear her giggling quietly. She was shaking, trying to hold her laugh.
"You saw the whole thing?", he asked.
"Yes. It was fun watching you squirm", she said teasingly.
"Well, you're mean", Shepard retorted with a large grin on his face.
He gently pushed her by the shoulder.
"I know", she said, her voice holding a slight seductive tone.
Damn it. That came out wrong.
She could feel herself blushing, her face burning. She was thankful for her the face-covering visor of her helmet.
Now Shepard knew that the lack of sleep was getting to him, since he swore that he had just heard a slight seductive tone in her voice.
They just stood there awkwardly, looking at each other.
The silence was broken by a cough.
Tali was coughing.
The magic that had only seconds ago filled the room, disappeared.
"Are you okay?", Shepard asked after she had stopped coughing
"It was my fault actually", she said, shaking her head slightly.
She inhaled, and begun to tell the story.
"During the battle on the Alarei, something punctured my suit and apparently some stray bacteria got inside. Our suits have seals, preventing all air from entering to our helmet through the neck, but they were broken during the fight", she begun, walking aimlessly as she spoke.
"So, when I opened that part of my suit to repair the damage, I forgot to check the seals integrity. ", she sighed, before continuing.
"Some bacteria got into my respiratory system...", her sentence was interrupted by another cough.
"So, illness", she said, shrugging.
"And your working?", Shepard asked with a strict, but worried tone. "Are you crazy? You should rest",
"No, I'm fine Shepard", she said lifting her palms up.
"It's not really an illness, more like an allergic reaction to foreign matter"
"Well, saying that it's not an illness doesn't make you any less sick", he retorted, crossing his arms.
"I'm okay Shepard, you don't have to worry about me", she answered, her voice determined.
There was a silence, and this time Shepard broke it.
"I...uh...I guess I never realized just how hard living inside a suit your whole life could be", he said
To be trapped inside. He could not even understand how that must feel.
He felt sorry for her.
She lowered her gaze to the floor before speaking.
"We are inside our suits even among our family", she begun, and it only made Shepard feel even more sorry for her.
She felt embarrassed about the next subject, and her speech stammered, mirroring her feelings.
"The...The most intimate thing we can do with a another quarian is to link our suit environments"
Her face blushed even more, and the room felt very warm.
"I've...I've never trusted anyone enough for that though..."
Shepard was confused.
Why was she telling him this?
She felt extremely uncomfortable talking about the subject, but she wanted to tell him.
Tell him what she felt.
"..well...no quarians", she begun, her voice trembling. "Y-you know what I mean?"
The most intimate thing, she had said . And she wanted to share this with him?
She had told him that she trusted her father more than anyone, but she still had not trusted him enough.
But she trusted him.
Shepard was stunned, and could feel his mouth slightly open.
"You'd show me your face?", he asked softly.
Her fingers were fidgeting nervously against each other.
"Well it's not...it's more...wow, it's really hot in here", she stammered.
Now? Was now the moment to tell him? Tell him what he meant to her?
If not now, then when?
She let go.
"Traditionally...it..it..signifies a willingness...for...um..."
Her speech stuck in her throat, as she was looking for a proper word.
"...intimacy"
Intimacy? Did she meant that what he thought?
She wanted to be with him.
Share herself with him.
Intimacy.
Kelly had told him that Tali wished to be more than friends, but he had refused to believe her.
Even though everything he saw made a perfect sense, he still refused to believe.
The way she turned to him, the way she followed him, the way she looked to him. Looked at him.
He had refused to believe.
It was better to live in a world of lies, than on a world of pain.
She was probably going to die.
If she would die, then he would die.
He did not want to die again.
So he refused to believe.
He had never been so wrong in his life.
Tali could not believe that she had said that. Everything felt unreal.
"I...uh...how did we even ended up talking about this?", she asked dreamily.
Her trail of thought was broken by Shepard's question.
Shepard could not know how hard it must have been for her.
She had told him how she felt, without even knowing if those feelings would be returned.
What he knew however, is that it had caused her significant discomfort.
He had caused it.
He didn't know what to do.
So he did what he always did in those kind of situations.
Joked.
"Wait a minute. It sounds like you are suggesting something Tali?", he asked, grinning
It was a poor coping mechanism, meant to avoid things that caused harm.
But it had saved him from countless situations, since the other option was desperation.
He just hoped that it save him from this situation too.
Tali tilted her head, and crossed her arms
"What could I possibly be suggesting?", she asked, with a clearly flirty tone of voice.
It had worked.
"I mean, a young woman gets rescued by a dashing Commander who let's her join his crew and then goes off to save the galaxy?
Dashing?
She thought that he was dashing?
He knew there was nothing dashing in what he did.
He killed people. Period.
Why would a nice, caring and honourable girl like Tali think that he was 'dashing' ?
"How could she possibly develop any kind of interest in him..."
He could not understand why.
He was not a nice man. He was not the 'dashing' hero they showed him to be in the vids.
He was a killer.
He just happened to be on the right side of the law.
Suddenly, he realized something.
He didn't have to understand everything.
He didn't have to be always in control.
So he let go.
Why had it taken so long to realize this?
He grinned at his stupidity, and ended the ridiculous game they had been playing.
"Well, Tali'Zorah", he chuckled, crossing his arms.
"What sort of an interest are we talking about here?"
His grin widened.
"Is this a professional curiosity...", he continued, taking a step forward, shortening the distance between the two.
He tuned down his voice at every word, and when he continued:
"Or a personal one?", the words were only a whisper.
He had almost closed the space between them, standing right before her.
He slowly lifted his hand, palm upwards.
"Tali...", he whispered, and Tali took his hand.
He looked into her eyes.
"...I care. More than you know"
Tali's world turned upside down.
He cared.
She had not expected this.
His words 'because we are friends' rang in her mind.
Had he lied to her? Why?
"You do? But you never..."
No.
Not now.
He cared.
That's what mattered.
"That's...that's good", she said dreamily.
She was happy.