Sorry I haven't updated in so long!
Mulan, I feel like we haven't known each other for very long... Yeah, that's because you haven't. Mulan, I feel like I've known you a lot longer than I have known you, and I feel like that's because we both love each other, and I feel that maybe we should get to know... Do you know how many times you said the word "feel" in that sentence? Start again. Mulan, I haven't known you very long, but I feel that doesn't matter so much when... When what? I sighed.
When a man is in love.Now all I have to do is say the words to her face. I just hoped, by some miracle, that she wouldn't reject me. She had told me she loved me. But marriage meant something entirely different. We couldn't just overcome our differences, our past, in one fell step, but I loved her, and I would do anything to allow us to be together. I could still recall, with startling clarity, Mulan, trembling in the snow, the blanket wrapped around her thin shoulders. She gazed up at me, looking for, begging for understanding; compassion. But I had denied her of all of that. My own anger had overcome me, and I had abandoned her, leaving her for dead. And what of the Huns? What if Shan Yu had found her? Beat her or tortured her? Or something...else.
I shuddered at the very thought. She was safe. She was home. But what if? And as I saw the house unwind from the ribbon of the dusty pathway, I found myself push the thought away and almost hysterically rehearse my "speech." Mulan, I haven't known you for very long... I rode closer and closer to the Fa residence, my hands sweating in anticipation. ...but I feel that doesn't matter so much...I reached the familiar and comforting house, but swerved to enter the yard, where I knew Mulan would be doing her chores. ...when a man is in love.
The wall opened in an inviting arch, and I ducked through it, manuvering my horse around the bushes. And there she was. Laughing and smiling, directing some of the neighbourhood children on her, my, fighting techniques. Beautiful. She turned, but did not see me, but the action made me jump in surprise and panic, jerking the reins of the horse. The beast cryed in protest, rising on it's hind legs. I clung to it's back, trying to look as graceful as possible while I knew the sound had caused the girls, and Mulan, to look up. Be brave.
I calmed the horse back to it's feet, and the young girls ran excitedly up to me, many of whom I recognized from my short stay here.
"Gen'rel Shang! Gen'rel Shang!" They cried. I smiled and rode gently forward, stopping my horse and dismounting. Be brave.
"Hello, little warriors," I cooed. I pulled the ceremonial helmet from my head. My nervousness was obvious through my voice; my words were overly sweet and came out thick and slowly, like molasses. But nevertheless, they giggled wildly and lead me towards Mulan. Be brave.
Mulan stood shyly before me, her hands folded behind her back and her eyes cast downwards. She was more beautiful than I remembered.
"The uniform suits you, General." She teased. I blushed.
"Oh," I stumbled, looking down at my polished bronze armour. "The uniform. Yes." Nice....... Really smooth, General. I scolded the inner voice and nervously stroked the soft feathers of my helmet. "Now I just have to live up to it," I said shyly.
"You will! You're very brave." Mulan's words seemed wise and gentle, keeping the tone she usually had with the young children. Her words mimicked my forgotten thoughts.
"Oh! Right! Brave..." I said, more as a reminder to myself than as a response. I cleared my throat, suddenly remembering my painstakingly rehearsed speech.
"Yes, well. Mulan, I haven't known you for very long," I preached, my words sounding like I was reciting a poem or story, "But I feel that doesn't matter so much when a man is in..." I suddenly realized we were still surrounded by a herd of little girls. I hadn't expected an audience for my announcement. Their innocent eyes peered up at me, waiting expectantly. I cleared my throat again. Say it! "When a man is in..."
The girls dissolved into a fit of laughter, adding to my embarrassment. Mulan looked down at them, appearing to be wishing that I could of finished. Or so I hope. I gulped nervously. My sweating hands closed around the helmet, and I held it nervously at my waist.
"Is there somewhere private we can talk?" I begged. I felt a small hand gently touch my forearm.
"We can go to my house!" proclaimed a tiny girl with missing front teeth. My face flushed and my eyes widened with embarrassment. The girls exploded with laughter once again at my reaction. Mulan laughed, too, and I nervously clutched my helmet. She smiled and dismissed them kindly. They gave a small groan, but said goodbye to each of us and skipped off. All except a small girl. I looked down, raising my eyebrows. As if testing me, she stood there, smiling innocently. As adorable as she was, I would give anything for time alone with Mulan.
So I knelt down so I was at her level. "Could you take care of this for me?" The little girl gasped and hugged the helmet to her chest and took off, squealing and giggling with delight. I stood up, trying to contain my amusement, when I sensed Mulan beside me. Her fingers intertwined with mine, and I gripped her hand.
"You know, you're never going to get that back," she teased. The light, airy humour relaxed me, and I laughed with relief. She lead me up the path towards the house. Before we emerged in sight of the Fa residence, she pulled me towards her. I wrapped my arms around her, and slowly leaned forward. Our lips met, and my thoughts of doubt evaporated. I pulled her closer to me, and we both pulled away slightly, still wrapped together.
"I missed you," she whispered, her face flushed and her breath fast. I smiled.
"You have no idea." She smiled again and kissed my cheek. "I....I need to talk to you." Her eyes held a touch of concern.
"Can I change first?" she laughed, motioning to her clothing. She was still wearing her training robes. I nodded and reluctantly pulled away. She grabbed my hand again and lead me further up the path, pulling aside the door, and I followed her through it.
She gently pushed me gently into a wooden chair. I smiled as she disappeared into her room. Mulan's grandmother appeared at the doorway from the kitchen. I started to rise to greet her, but she just shook her head and sat across from me. I waited for her to say something, but she just smiled and watched me knowingly. It made me extremely uncomfortable, and I felt that her dark eyes were seeing far into me. I shifted in my chair, and Fa Zhou passed into the hall. I smiled and greeted him. His sharp eyes twinkled, and the corners of his mouth curled up. He nodded and winked, and limped into the dark hall.
I shifted uncomfortably again, trying to ignore the elderly woman's amusing stare. I looked up to see Fa Li watching me from the doorway of the kitchen. My eyes went wide and I looked downwards. What in the names of the gods...? Mulan walked into the room, her dress brushing the wooden floor. I still was unused to seeing her in anything but men's clothing. Mulan smiled and stepped towards me, noticing the awaiting stares of the two women. They know! They know everything!
"Is something wrong?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. The women shook their heads with amusement. Mulan sighed, as if used to the strange behaviour of the duo, and grabbed my hand again, pulling me from the house.
"I truely don't think I want to know," she shook her head with exasperation. I laughed and stroked her palm with my fingertips. She smiled and looked up at me. "Anyways, what did you want to tell me?" And with those soft words, my prepared words were wiped from my mind. Excellent.
I stuttered, trying to regain my composure, then finally gave up. "Mulan, I did receive your letter." She eyes went wide and she blushed.
"Oh." her eyes fluttered downwards. I squeezed her hand and pulled her close.
"You had the courage to tell me what I was too afraid to tell you. I love you." I whispered in her ear. She pulled away and smiled, throwing her arms and me and laughing in relief. I smiled too and reached for her hand again.
"That's not all what I wanted to tell you." She nodded. I took that as my cue to continue. "Perhaps we can talk somewhere where we are not in view of your house?" She nodded again, trying to hide the humour in her eyes. We strolled through the arch of the stone wall, walking to the bench beneath the blossoming tree. I motioned for her to sit on the stone bench, and she complied. I knew she was suspicious of my formality, but I only planned on doing this once, and I was going to do it right.
I knelt before her and took her frail hand in mine. She raised her eyebrows, but smiled nonetheless. "Mulan, I will never leave you again. If you can find it in your heart to trust me, please know that I will protect you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you..." I couldn't finish, because Mulan had squealed and thrown herself at me, wrapping her arms around me. We collapsed backwards onto the soft grass, both of us laughing and breathing sighs of relief. I kissed her hair and held her close. "Is that a yes?" I teased, and she nodded and let out a beautiful laugh, then rested her head on my chest.
Looking up, I saw a small head hover above the sill of the window. The flash of gray hair disappeared from the frame. I turned back to Mulan.
"What is it?" she asked. I brushed her cheek and shook my head.
"Nothing. It's nothing at all."
So? Continue, or not continue? I tried to make the one line from the movie sound less corny, but I really don't know if it's possible ;) oh well.