This chapter is more of a introduction to the next, so I apologize the lower quality of it.
After reading this, you can probably guess what the next chapter is about...
Briefing room. 0950.
Shepard stood at the far-end of the table in the middle of the room. He had called a meeting at ten.
Just when he was beginning to wonder where they were, the door opened.
"Oh, hi Shepard!" Tali greeted cheerfully.
Tali's graceful figure stepped inside the room, and the door closed.
Graceful. Shepard wondered why such a word first came into his mind.
"Hello", Shepard replied.
Tali glanced around the room.
"Where is everyone?"
Shepard shrugged.
Tali's eyes narrowed.
"The meeting is still taking place, right?" she asked. Her voice had a strange tone, but Shepard could not recognize it.
"You think I just called you here?", Shepard asked, smirking.
Shepard didn't really know why he lately felt the compulsion to tease her.
Especially after their last conversation. His existence would again bring her joy, instead of pain. It made him feel good and she deserved all the happiness he could give her.
Probably why her words of intimacy had occupied his thoughts for quite long.
He even had started to like the idea.
She was an alien, but that did not matter to him. Not anymore.
He just wanted to make her happy.
And even though she would not admit it, he knew she liked his teasing.
Tali tilted her head, and started walking forward gracefully.
Again. Graceful.
"It's a nice thought" she said quietly, with the same tone as before.
Ouch. She had ambushed him. He could now understand what the tone in her voice before was. It had been suggestive...
Shepard had been caught off-guard. He had been more right about her and the teasing than he thought.
She was now right in front of him, her head still slightly tilted.
Shepard felt the compulsion to touch her.
"Nice like..." Shepard whispered, putting his finger on her shoulder, and began to slide it down her arm "...this?"
Beep.
Shepard could see her eyes closing, even behind the mask. It made him smile.
The door opened.
Garrus.
He spotted Shepard's hand on Tali's arm.
Garrus merely coughed in surprise.
Shepard and Tali immediately pulled away from each other. It looked rather comical.
Garrus' mandibles started to flicker at the sight.
"What sort of a meeting is this?" he asked mischievously.
Shepard just wove him to come inside, and Garrus stepped in.
The atmosphere was quite uncomfortable, with Garrus interrupting their 'private moment'...
Tali and Garrus kept looking at the floor, while Shepard tried secretly to glance at Garrus.
The way Garrus carried himself had changed after Sidonis. His step used to be light, his posture relaxed. Now it seemed like that he had a heavy burden on his shoulders, weighting him down. The guilt.
Shepard hoped that it would not break him. He needed Garrus, and not just for the mission. Shepard felt bad. Guilty.
Grunt arrived, looking extremely distressed. Recently, he had been struggling with his violent nature, even more than usual. Shepard really did not want Grunt to throw a temper tantrum, so they were heading towards Tuchanka right now.
"Grunt, calm down" Shepard ordered, trying to sound both as soothing and commanding as possible at the same time.
Grunt growled.
"When are we on Tuchanka, Shepard?" he asked, sounding very agitated.
"We'll be there. I can't make this ship go any faster" Shepard answered strictly.
Grunt didn't answer.
Mordin walked in.
He also had business on Tuchanka, which made it even more important as the next destination.
"Shepard. Tali'Zorah. Garrus Vakarian. Grunt" Mordin greeted them all fast, nodding to each. Shepard and Garrus nodded back, while Tali greeted him verbally. Grunt merely growled.
The rest of the team came in. Thane, Jack, Jacob and Miranda.
"Everyone here?" Shepard asked, glancing around.
The team started glancing around as well, and after a moment, they nodded.
"Good. Gather around the table. All right. I'm gonna rework the command structure..." He tapped the large table twice, and holographic miniatures of the team members appeared on the table.
"There is too many of you for me to command at once, and it would be just stupid to leave the most of you behind, so..."
He tapped the table again, and the figures aligned in two groups. The group on the left consisted of Miranda, Jacob, Mordin and Thane, while the one on the right had the figures of Garrus, Tali, Grunt and Jack.
"Two squads, with Garrus and Miranda as the leaders. I'll be the platoon leader."
Miranda's posture straightened, while Garrus moved nervously.
Garrus was very unsure of himself.
Guilt again came into Shepard's mind.
"Shepard! I'm not gonna jump to the tune of the Barbie girl!" Jack snapped, pointing her finger at Miranda, who crossed her arms and frowned, looking angry.
"Jack, you're under Garrus..." Tali chimed in quietly.
Jack glanced at the table, and saw her miniature at the right side.
"Oh," she muttered, surprised .
"Well the turian better be good," she snorted.
"He is," Shepard replied simply "Any more critique?"
"Not to complain, Commander, but Garrus' team has all the specialists," Miranda said.
"It does, but the division has been made solely with the combat prowess in mind. I admit, you don't have a tech, but Mordin will have to fill in wherever he can. Mordin?"
Mordin seemed to be deep in thought.
"Hmm. The structure familiar. STG standard. Usually the platoon leader not in reserve though. Hmm. Risk--," he babbled quietly.
"Mordin?!" Shepard snapped.
Mordin startled and turned towards Shepard,
"Yes-yes. Will do."
"Anything else?" Shepard asked.
Nobody spoke.
"Dismissed"
…
"Garrus, could you stay for a moment?" Shepard asked.
Garrus glanced around, then remained stationary, his hands behind his back.
He was clearly not comfortable with his assignment.
"You okay?" Shepard asked.
The thoughts of Garrus breaking surfaced into his mind, along with the guilt.
"No," Garrus replied "Don't have a death wish anymore though."
Garrus' voice was completely joyless.
It worried Shepard.
"That's good to hear."
Garrus snorted.
"I know it wouldn't help anything," he lowered his head, sighing "Wish it did."
That worried Shepard even more. Garrus just seemed to have lost all hope. He wished that this would not last long, because it would kill him.
"You can talk to Kelly if you want," Shepard suggested.
Garrus chuckled twice, lifting his head.
"She would probably try to pick me up," he said dryly.
"No, she's actually very professional," Shepard chuckled.
"I don't think talking will help Shepard. Not with this," Garrus continued, again with the joyless voice.
Shepard moved nervously.
"You still blame me?" he asked quietly, his head hanging low.
"No. I blame myself."
Garrus lowered his head again, this time deeper.
"I just wish I had seen it coming."
He still blamed himself. He was broken.
Shepard had done this.
The guilt again surged into him.
Why did he always make things so bad? First with Tali, and now with Garrus.
He wondered how he had even managed to keep such friends.
He felt like a worm.
Garrus had called himself a failure, and Shepard could relate.
Garrus' charges of betrayal had first insulted him, but he had been angry at his charges, because they were true.
A true friend doesn't get in your way, unless you're going down.
But he had not gotten into Garrus' way enough.
He was broken.
It was Shepard's fault.
"No. You were right. I betrayed you," he said quietly.
Garrus lifted his head, frowning.
"I tried to help you, but I failed. I wasn't there for you."
Shepard lowered his head.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
There was a short silence, before Garrus spoke.
"Shepard" he began quietly, shaking his head "You're about the only damn friend I have left."
Garrus offered his hand to him.
"It's done," he said.
Garrus forgave him. Such friends...
Shepard took his hand.
"Friends," he said.
Garrus' mandibles flickered and he squeezed Shepard's hand harder.
"Brothers," he said quietly.
Brothers? It sounded nice.
Shepard smiled.