Calmer of the Storm: Sooo…my last chapter was an epic fail. Oh well. Guess I was the only one that thought it was, like, the best thing ever. xD

Enjoy!

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Chapter Eight: Indecision

If things had been stagnant between them before, it seemed now like they were going backwards. He talked to her less than he ever had, and she never made an effort to change that. In Hikari's mind he was just being a stubborn child; he had clearly not gotten his way on the island and was now taking it out on everyone and everything. It was not just her that he was ignoring, but even the rest of his crew were being neglected. Takeru had never been good with keeping pent up emotions; they always directed his actions. This was no exception.

And these actions were going to drive her insane. Of course it didn't help that he was spending more nights away from her and in the taverns. Never did she have the heart to ask what he was really doing down there, and none of the crew cared to tell her. She could see the looks they gave her though, the pitied expressions in their eyes as she walked by. They all knew how she felt about him, it seemed, and they also all knew that her love was hopeless. As close as she was to accepting this fact, she wasn't quite ready to give up. Not without one more try.

Getting Takeru alone was more difficult than she would ever have imagined. Since visiting the island they had made another trip to the tribesmen that Captain Scar had an agreement with, though this time Hikari stayed back. They also had encountered a few more skirmishes in Rustico, most of them right after returning from the island. Things spread quickly, it seemed, and all of them wanted a piece of what they thought Captain Scar had attained. About this he seemed frustrated, and Hikari wasn't sure she had ever thought him capable of killing so many people. They may have had it coming, but that still didn't make her comfortable with it. She supposed he really had become a pirate after all. Maybe there would be no changing him.

But finally she did have a lucky break. They were once again in Rustico, this time just after pillaging a local farming town. The night was quiet and dark, for the moon and stars were hidden behind a thick veil of low hanging clouds. She did as she always did on nights like this, when the ship was moored in that particular town. The girl had yet to actually venture onto its grounds, and she didn't see herself doing so anytime soon. The mere thought of what could be going on inside of there made her sick…and so she would rather just pretend and be innocent to all things. The low hanging cloud cover provided a sombre atmosphere, though it was not a far reflection from what was in her heart. The not knowing…it was virtually killing her.

But the Captain had not strayed into the familiar town that night as he usually did. For some reason his heart was heavy, and not even out-of-tune music and raging drunkards would lift his spirits tonight. He didn't know why he was feeling like this; things weren't much different than they usually were. No, that wasn't true. He knew very well why he was feeling this way; it was just a matter of actually admitting it to himself. The truth of the matter was that the words of the old woman were weighing heavily on him. But even more so than that, it was the fact that he had pushed Hikari so far from his presence that she barely even looked at him now. Her light was so far gone from him that he was beginning to lose his way in the suffocating darkness. There were times he thought he could feel her eyes on him, but quick glances in her direction usually did away with these assumptions. Knowing that he was driving her away from him was ripping him in two.

Hikari made his life complicated. Some would say that the simple and obvious answer was to accept her feelings, if it was bothering him so much. But now he had reached the point where he wasn't even so sure anymore…he knew he had taken her heart and stomped on it many times. Every second he spent in the tavern was torment; the crimson-eyed girl would not leave his mind. And yet he could not ask her to be with him, for he did not wish for her to have such a life. She deserved much more than what he could give her. Perhaps if he were not a pirate things would be different, but he now bore a love of the sea; he was a far cry from the righteous young boy he had once been. There was not a spot of purity on his heavily tainted soul, and Hikari was the embodiment of purity itself. How could he corrupt that?

And so the other option would be to drive her away…but he could not to that, either. He loved her far too much for that. In this way he was being selfish; the pirate side of him taking over more than it ever had before. To claim her as his own and never have another man touch her…it was a very seductive thought. He'd already let this slip, in those brief moments with the Navy Commander. That the two of them had met Takeru was not overly surprised about, but to know that he had pursued her…it made his blood boil. It had roused him in such a manner that he had even caused his tongue to slip, allowing one small piece of vital information to slide through. What she had thought of it, however, he may never know.

It was this dilemma that had kept him back. The Captain had fully intended on remaining in his quarters the whole time, away from the girl as much as possible. She still slept on his floor, for he would never subject her to the will of his crew, but they still rarely saw each other. He knew she was here also, and so he would avoid her with everything he had.

And yet he could not. Before he could even really stop himself he found that he was standing and staring at her lithe form as she leaned against the railing, staring out into the open ocean. She was at the stern of the ship, the details of her now dark form difficult to make out. In the distance he could hear the familiar din of music as it rose from the city, but it brought him no comfort. The blond haired man stopped for a moment, finding that his heart was pounding. He did not know what the expression on her face was, and he knew that he was afraid to find out. What would cause her to stare out into the ocean like that? Longing? Longing for home, or perhaps for a man who had promised to give her a decent home? He couldn't think any further about it.

Takeru had been about to turn away from her before she noticed when he clumsily hit his head on the doorframe. He blamed the darkness and his current lack of perception, but knew it was really only due to his inattentive state of mind. The sound alerted the girl, causing her to whip around to see what had caused it.

It took her a moment to see exactly who it was, for she could not quite believe it. Usually he took to the town with the rest of them; to see him here on the ship was very strange. She had thought it odd that more than the usual amount of crewmen had gone off the ship, but she understood it now. Very few would dare attack the ship that Captain Scar himself was currently on, outnumbered or not. Especially not after he had come back from L'Isola di Vita and lived.

"I've heard that door has a tendency to move every now and then." Despite her attempt at a joke, her tone was not as light as it should have been.

Despite this, Takeru had to smile. "So that's it. I was beginning to wonder."

Hikari was not sure what she should say next, and instead allowed for the awkward silence to linger. So now he was talking to her? She knew it was what she had been hoping for, but she couldn't really bring herself to think much of it. Lately his mood swings were getting more and more drastic, or so it seemed, and she just didn't know what to do with herself.

Takeru was not oblivious to the tension, and after a few moments had passed he also realised that she probably wasn't going to say anything further. He knew that he deserved it; his way of treating her lately had not been the best. Considering that she had searched for four years to find him…he knew that she deserved much better. Though he knew that he was not the best friend she once knew, and he never would be again.

He knew he could very easily have walked away, but there was something about her that did not allow him to do so. She had not turned back to the ocean, but he could tell that she was no longer looking at him. She was being cautious, he knew, allowing him to both approach and leave, though expecting the latter. An unknown courage took a hold of his heart, and Takeru took the few steps and closed the distance between them.

Placing himself at her side, he leaned forwards and rested his arms on the railing. Still he was wondering what he was going to say, and he could almost swear the girl could hear the drumming of his heart against his ribcage.

She could not, however, hear it for the pounding of her own heart.

"You didn't go with the others." She stated finally, still facing away from the ocean. She had taking to leaning against the railing again, this time with her back.

"Couldn't bring myself to." He answered quietly but truthfully.

For a moment Hikari watched him, wondering if this was going to be her break. He seemed like he was in the mood to talk. It might be now or never. She knew that whatever happened tonight would be the deciding factor in whether she remained on this ship or not; whether she gave up on him or not. It was a scary thought, but the girl knew that she could not live with this uncertainty for any longer.

"What happened back there?"

He was not stupid. Though it had been a few weeks ago, Takeru knew very well what she was talking about. For a moment he hesitated. Did he really want to tell her? There was something…some unknown force that was compelling him to do so. It was a strange feeling, but it was one that he had even more strangely, felt before. His mind began to drift to the place of where he could have told her, and immediately he rebuked the thought. Somehow he knew that things would change between them if he told her everything, though he was afraid to know how. What the Captain was unaware of was how much they would change if he didn't tell her anything at all.

"Most of it is not of any consequence."

Hikari felt her heart lurch into her throat and she almost let out a small chuckle. What else was she expecting? But being the masochist that she was, she pressed for more. The hope within her had not been completely killed…he had not yet crushed it completely. But with her hope so too would go her heart. She knew this, it just hadn't quite registered. Maybe if she was a smarter woman she would have held onto that small piece of it any longer. "And what of the rest?"

He almost brushed her off completely. But something told him he shouldn't. Something told him he couldn't. It took him a few minutes to respond, enough time for Hikari to begin losing the little hope that she had left. It was also enough time for Takeru to convince himself out of telling her everything.

"It was…unexpected. The woman was old and she guards no treasure. She speaks in riddles and gives only what she wants to. It is clear that she is very, very powerful, however."

It was more information than he had given anyone else, but Hikari also knew that it was still not enough. Though she could not see the details of his face, she knew that he would not be telling her anymore. With this fact came the shattering of the last bit of her heart. Never did she think, not in a million years, that things would end up like this. A decade she had waited and searched, but he was much too far gone now. Maybe if she hadn't waited…maybe if she was stronger, or better, or…

But she wasn't. She wasn't any of those things. And she knew now that there was nothing about her that could hold him to her. Yes, they had a past together, but she knew that it wasn't amounting to much anymore. He knew the women in the tavern better than he knew her, and she slept every night in his room. The girl's gaze fell to the deck beneath her as she came to the realisation that Takeru was just not who he used to be. He was Captain Scar now, and not even she was enough to change that.

"I suppose I'll be heading to bed, then." And with that she took leave from her spot on the railing and made her way to the Captain's quarters. Tomorrow would be a day of decisions and she would need a good night's rest.

Takeru watched her go, suddenly feeling a heavy weight on his heart, one bigger than he had ever felt before. There was something that told him things were not right; that he should have said more. He almost stopped her has she retreated into the darkness of the ship's cabin, but he didn't. He did not call out to her, and he made no move to follow. The darkness that had been clouding his heart somehow got thicker, clouding over the one spot in his heart that had been reserved for something better. The knowledge of the feeling made him sad, though he didn't know exactly what could have brought this on.

It was a long while later before the Captain finally did follow the girl, slipping into his own bed with a heavy mind. Despite all of this he still went to sleep, oblivious of what would be coming to him in the morning.

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Calmer of the Storm: Alrighty. So we're getting somewhere here, not quite the climax, still more development stuff. But I'm still hoping you guys like it…and don't forget to let me know!