LONG ASS A/N AHOY.
Spopococ: Well here we are again, chapter twooo! Apparently our American friends had something called the Superbowl happening. Exciting stuff? Good. Well, I'm kinda short on words and full of gelato, so Hunter's turn.
HunterBelmont: Yes, chapter two... Chap~ter two... not much we can say about it. Simply that it's now with 20% more laughs and more Cloud being... Cloud.
Spopococ: Our version, anyway. SO, we're working on putting a video up for question time. It's too big too upload AT THE MOMENT. Deal. With. It.
HunterBelmont: And by popular demand (from spop), author's notes shall include Sephiroth breaking the fourth wall with us!
Spopococ: *squeal*
HunterBelmont: ...Also because we can't get rid of him.
Warnings: If you're a firm believer in the sanctity of Final Fantasy VII and all of its affiliates, turn away now, because we're about to destroy it. AGAIN. OOC to the point of ridicule. (No, we don't want your ridicule, that's what the warning's for.) Implied Yaoi, implied Yuri, implied everything 'different' about 'relationships'. Coarse Language, simply because spopococ remains a filthy potty mouth (Hunter stands by his previous statement). Progressive stupidity regarding Cloud, and a large dose of Tifa bashing this chapter. I'd say we're doing it with love, but I don't think we are.
Chapter Two- Casino Corel, the story of Barret (or 00sector7)
Our 'hero' meets Aerith, the slum drunk, (or was it flower girl?) before suffering through a reunion with his childhood 'friend'. Cloud has money issues, and Barret makes the hard admission of his chronic gambling issues.
--
Sector one was primarily a dank, dark, and overall miserable residential area. Like many of its sister slums, it was filled with a toxic cloud of mako pollution and the festering substances created from rubbish littering the streets. It was far from the streets of Nibelheim that Cloud could recall somewhat clearly in his subconscious. The mountain air had been crisp and fresh, and far from capable of burning his nostrils quite like Midgar had taken the opportunity to do. Cloud gave a casual stroll through the slums, well aware that Barret had insisted they make haste in heading for the train station, before settling eyes on a lady dressed in pink, practically being trampled by over eager slum scum, most likely scoping out the next bar. After picking herself up and dusting herself off, the woman offered a smoky green gaze in Cloud's direction and smiled slightly, making her way over.
...Ah man, she's probably after my autograph or something...
"Excuse me, what happened?" the young woman asked the blonde haired mercenary, fluttering her eyelashes a bit.
"Nothing, hey listen....." Cloud looked into her eyes, feeling familiarity in them before noticing the flowers she carried, "Don't see many flowers around here"
"Oh these? Do you like them? They're only a gil..." The flower girl bombed the blonde with questions, still fluttering her eyes.
Another one with a tick..... though a step up from butch.
"Sure, I'll buy one," Cloud handed over the money, feeling as if he was being forced to do it against his will.
The flower girl smiled bigger, "Oh thank you! Here you are," she handed over a white daffodil.
This would look great in my hair......
He blinked, noticing the girl had already vanished before he could ask her for her name or number.
"Wow she is fast...but no girl can resist the Strife for long," Cloud smiled to himself, making sure nobody was around before striking a pose and starting off again.
Cloud moved slowly through the streets, not bothering to talk to many people, well aware that most slum people were below his usual standards of conversation. He was Cloud Strife, ex-SOLDIER turned mercenary, after all. More often than not, he didn't mean to appear arrogant in the eyes of the so obviously endearing fans around him, but Midgar was bringing out a slightly darker side. A boy approached him, smiling slightly with a piece of paper and pen.
...Autograph request... Awesome...
"Excuse me Sir, but-"The child began nervously.
"Yeah, ex-SOLDIER," Cloud interrupted, "Look, I'm flattered and all, but I don't really do autographs."
"Actually, I was just-"
"Stay in school, kid," The blonde offered a small smile, moving to ruffle the child's hair before the thought of fleas crossed his mind, and he thought better of it. The kid seemed well aware of this fact, and his expression changed almost instantly.
"I'm collecting money for the school fete, ass wipe," The kid snapped, offering a small but sturdy glare in the blonde's direction. Had Cloud not been the hero material he was, he may very well have blushed. He didn't, however, offering a murmur somewhere along the lines of 'You know, I once took out an entire fleet of Wutaian Soldiers pretty much single-handedly. That's pretty special, you know.' before handing over two gil. The kid gave a half hearted thank you as he snatched the money, before hurrying down the street.
Cloud continued through the slums searching for this mystery train station. He turned a corner slowly; noticing how dark the alley had become, right before running smack into two Shinra guards.
"Hey you there!" the first guard said pointing his gun directly at Cloud.
Gotta think quickly......what would Sephiroth do.....
Cloud turned tail and ran.
Don't have a masamune.....
Cloud's escape was hampered as he ran into more guards, before quickly becoming completely surrounded by them.
"That's as far as you go!" The lead guard shouted.
"I don't have time to be messin' around with you guys," Cloud retorted, before running again, missing what one guard shouted at him.
Time to do something completely awesome.
Cloud moved to the edge of the bridge back flipping off it onto the train that was coming down the tracks. He stood up straight, giving a self satisfied nod as he held his balance flawlessly onto the train's roof.
"Oh yeah I am totally aweso......." Cloud was cut off, as his head smashed into the tunnel with a loud crack, knocking him clean out.
The train bumped along as Barret, Biggs, Wedge and Jessie rode in the luggage compartment in silence until Wedge let out a soft sigh.
"Cloud never came...."
"Cloud....Wonder if he was killed?" Biggs lamented a little at the thought of the Ex-Soldier dying.
Barret laughed a bit, "20 to 1 says he did."
Barret, hearing a loud thump, looked up to the ceiling of the train.
"What the hell was that?"
"Cloud......" Jessie looked down. To her, the blonde couldn't die; he was more to her than anyone could have guessed.
"Say, do you think Cloud's......" Biggs began to say, before being interrupted.
"NO! Just camp!" Jessie yelled, before turning red at noticing that everyone was now staring at her in confusion.
"Going to fight to the end for AVALANCE?" Biggs finished, trying to break the awkward silence between the group.
Barret stood up, "The hell should I know? What do I look like, a mind reader?"
Barret gave a small grunt, before looking at Biggs.
"No, nobody thinks your uniform makes you look fat, by the way."
Barret hit the crate next to him with an iron fist.
"Hmph!! If y'all weren't such screw-ups..."
"Hey Barret what about our money..." Wedge asked before being silenced by Barret hitting another crate smashing it into pieces. Wedge shifted uncomfortably, his thoughts straying to Barret's anger management issues.
"Uh, nothin'... sorry..." Wedge shrugged, another uncomfortable silence falling over the group. Wedge had always considered the group as a family of sorts, and such tensions usually made him wonder if perhaps they spent too much time together. Twenty four hours a day with Barret was beginning to take a toll on him, but if he dared to voice his opinion, it was often immediately quashed with a string of curses from the group leader. He often did whatever Barret asked of him, and all in all, he thought it made him quite a fitting lackey. His thoughts were interrupted then, as a series of thumps on the roof of the train drew their attention to the ceiling. Wedge let out a soft sigh as the door of the train slid open, well aware his brief moment of recognition as a legitimate character was over. Cloud entered with a spectacular cartwheel, relishing in the immediate attention he was rewarded.
"Cloud!" Biggs cried with starry eyed admiration. The blonde gave a small nod of recognition, as Jessie gave a soft sigh of his name, and Wedge's cheeks apparently flared with suppressed rage. Cloud gave a casual wave of his hand, as Barret flailed slightly in his startled surprise.
"Looks like I'm a little late," Cloud smirked slightly, cocking his head back as he offered a small shrug.
"You damn right, you're late! Come waltzin' in here makin' a big scene!" Barret snapped, as he glared at the blonde.
"Shit!" Barret hissed, his temple throbbing excessively, "Having everyone worry like that you don't give a damn about no one but yourself!"
"Hmm... you were worried about me!" The blonde exclaimed, smiling charmingly, before his smile slipped abruptly, "...Are you comin' onto me?"
"Wha'?!?" Barret gaped, eye twitching as he turned from the blonde and shook all over, "I'm takin' it outta your money, hot stuff!"
Barret moved towards the end of the train car before shouting at them all, "Wake up, We're movin' out! Follow me!"
He then exited the car followed by Wedge, who said something Cloud suspected was praising him for how awesome he was.
"Hehe.....Cloud! We'll do even better next time!" Biggs complimented before leaving.
Has hotting an mo.
"That was weird..." Cloud said softly, his inner musings seemingly scattered.
"Be careful, I'll shut this" Jessie chided, moving to close the door through which Cloud had made his grand entrance. She moved over to him, frowning slightly.
"Oh Cloud! Your face is pitch black....." she sighed, wiping the gunk off his face.
Sha hotting an mo tee
"There ya go!....Oh, and thanks for helping me back at the reactor, Cloud. It really means a lot to me."
"Uhh no problem, it's what us heroes do," Cloud shrugged awkwardly, before Jessie took her leave, cheeks flushed red.
Whotz wrang weth ma
"Pretty sure the blow to your head screwed up your inner thought monologue a bit"
Ob thabks
Cloud nodded, satisfied with the mystery voice's assistance, before heading to meet up with the rest of his crew.
The voice over the train's intercom was loud, yet informative, despite being muffled, distorted, and all around scratchy, clearly a result of the sheer power of Shinra's exceptional electrical equipment.
"Last train out of Sector 8 Station. Last stop is Sector 7, Train Graveyard. Expected time of arrival is 12:23 AM, Midgar standard time..."
Barret burst through the door, trying to make a scene as a well dressed business man quickly jumped from his seat and went to the next car, trying to avoid the burly gun-man and the rest of his rag tag group.
Cloud walked over to one man who was reading a newspaper.
""You see the headlines in the Shinra Times?" Cloud shook his head as the man continued, "The terrorists that bombed the No. 1 Reactor are based somewhere in the slums." The man paused again, "...blowing up a Reactor... they sure put some thought into this one, they must have a real calculating leader. I wonder what they'll do next."
Cloud eyed Barret, who had a blatantly superior smirk on his face, a clear sign that he knew he was being talked about. Cloud took it as a personal attack that there was no mention of an Ex-Soldier. "Stop actin' like a damn kid and si' down an' shu' up," Barret chided gruffly, his arms stretching languidly across the seat. Cloud kept moving, abruptly not wanting to be near his "leader" anymore. He reluctantly chose to instead listen to what Rolly had to say.
"Someday AVALANCE's gonna be famous.....and me too!" The terrorist smiled cheerfully at the blonde.
"Maybe if they have a hotdog eating contest..." Cloud mumbled softly.
"What was that, Cloud?" Rolly asked, smile faltering slightly.
"Not a damn thing," Cloud reassured, offering a pat on Rolly's shoulder before sidling offer to butch female and half heartedly attempting to feign interest.
Cloud managed to listen to her rattle on about Midgar's train system for the next five minutes, her drone lulling him into an almost catatonic stare, before she smiled over her shoulder at him when she'd finished. Cloud offered a suave smile, throwing on the charm, and sadly disappointed to find Jessie developing a nervous tick once again. The blonde gave a small shrug, before listening to Biggs sleep talking about his obvious dislike for Barret. Cloud was beginning to think that maybe the guy wasn't so bad after all.
"Hey Barret, you should listen to this guy backstab-" Cloud began, before Barret abruptly cut him off.
"Look... you can see the surface now. This city don't have no day or night. If that plate weren't there... we could see the sky."
""A floating city... Pretty unsettling scenery," Cloud mused, leaning forward on the chair and offering a thoughtful gaze out the window. Barret offered a concerned look in the blonde's direction, before standing and stepping slowly away.
"Huh? Never expect to hear that outta someone like you... You jes' full of surprises," Barret noted, "You sick or something?"
The blonde shrugged, standing up straight.
"I'm thinking it's concussion. Hit my head on an overpass before," Cloud shrugged casually, Barret raising a brow. The blonde leant casually on one of the bars provided on the train, before the overhead luggage compartment shifted slightly, toppling a suitcase to hit his head.
"You jes' a clumsy ass pretty boy, you are," Barret murmured, throwing a look of disdain in Cloud's direction.
…At least I'm pretty, fat ass…
"It's okay," Cloud declared, "I think I'm fixed now. Dialogue seems in order."
Barret seemingly ignored the statement.
"The upper world... a city on a plate... It's 'cuz of that frickin 'pizza', that people underneath are sufferin'! And the city below is full of polluted and on topa that, the Reactor keeps drainin' up all the energy," Barret remarked thoughtfully, as Cloud offered a puzzled look.
"Then why doesn't everyone move onto the plate?" The blonde asked. Barret opened his mouth in a wordless gesture, seemingly intending to speak, but he closed it briefly after some thought.
"Dunno. Probably 'cuz they ain't got no money. Or, maybe...'Cuz they love their land, no matter how polluted it gets…" Barret shrugged slightly, and Cloud accepted the answer with little more thought. He offered some half-hearted line about trains and lines, but it seemed that his insight had disappeared along with the concussion. Upon arriving at the station, everyone clambered off and gathered at the bottom of the platform. Barret, despite his continued repetition of the 'need for anonymity', was declaring at the top of his lungs that there mission had been easy, but not to be scared of the next explosion they were going to face. Thankfully the train guard seemed to turn a blind ear. Barret then sent everyone off to their own devices, demanding that they meet at the hideout. Cloud left the train station slowly, in no real rush, knowing that however fast he chose to progress, Barret would yell about him doing something wrong.
The slums were littered with trash and the people weren't much better, dirty and scrounging for whatever they could get.
…No place for a highly trained warrior… the blonde thought with a grimace, but pay was pay, and he needed the money.
…These people are lucky to get a glimpse at a world-class guy like me; skilled, damn good looking, and the most manly man around……damn that dress would look good on me...
As Cloud arrived at the secret AVALANCE headquarters, Barret was throwing all the patrons out, violently shooting up the place. Cloud couldn't help but wonder just how the bar stayed in business.
"Ok everyone, get yo asses in here now!" Barret yelled, meeting his usual expectations of barking orders.
Cloud casually walked in, paying brief attention to a rather annoying little girl screaming on about her papa, and a rather big breasted woman who walked over to him.
"Welcome home Cloud, looks like everything went well. Did you fight with Barret?" The woman asked, Cloud admittedly a little… distracted… before answering.
"Yeah I fought with him," Cloud replied, eyes straying from the girl's eyes.
"I should have known. He's always pushing people around, and you've always been in fights ever since you were little, I was worried." Suddenly, Cloud became aware that the big breasted woman's name was Tifa. He should have known that beforehand, growing up in the same town as her and all, but as she'd spoken to him, her name had been little more than a blank.
"Is….is that a flower, Cloud? They're so rare in the slums, is it for me?" Tifa asked, leaning forward a bit.
Flower…? Oh… right… the flower in my hair; bitch is trying to steal it!
"Just give the kid the flower"
"No, the flowers are for the kid," Cloud shrugged, handing the flower to the little girl as she ran off, and hid behind the bar.
Ungrateful little…..
Tifa apologized for the incident and Cloud gave an acknowledging nod in her torso's direction, before he oddly felt drawn to talk to Rolly again.
"Oh Cloud, Tifa cooks real good food mmm mmmm," The butterball grinned, chicken noodles hanging from his lips. Cloud thought for a second that he really didn't need to know that, as he could see Rolly's weight increasing with every bite.
"Anyway let me tell ya something…" Rolly paused, finally managing to swallow his mouthful.
"About what?" Again, Cloud felt his answer was already made for him.
"Tifa always lets me taste her cooking and look at me now, I'm rolly-polly. Don't know whether I should be happy or sad. But it's the good food and drinks that make this shop famous." The fat terrorist grinned, which honestly explained a lot in Cloud's mind. He didn't really need to know the guy's surname, but the blonde stored the 'Polly' information for further reference.
Cloud was then encouraged by thin mercenary to booze up with him. The drunken slurs of Boggs, Buggs, Biggs, whatever his name was, gradually slid Cloud's attention back to burly woman. She accused him of being too excited, and Cloud was hoping that the effect of Tifa's presence wasn't showing as clearly as he thought it may be. Bored with the drunken atmosphere, Cloud headed for the door, before being blocked by Barret's bulky chest and flailing gun arm. Despite the gruff demeanor, the stony face of Barret softened a little on sight of the little girl nagging behind the bar. She greeted him with a wide smile and a flying leap into the man's arms. When realizing that Cloud had given the girl a flower, Barret turned doting eyes to the blonde, and Cloud squirmed slightly in his seat. He knew he was attractive, but it was getting a bit much. The little girl offered a shy thank you, before Barret engaged in a game of pinball, only holding Cloud's attention when he abruptly disappeared into the floor.
…Maybe the fumes are getting to me…
Tifa offered a small smile, and Cloud heard her chest demand he sit. Never one to refuse a good set of br- lips… Cloud took his seat and offered a casual shrug.
"So what happens if someone comes in and wants to play pinball?" The blonde shrugged. Tifa completely disregarded the statement, fussing over the bar taps, spending an ample amount of time in the ice box on the floor, her gaze shifting occasionally to the blonde.
"How about something to drink?" The brunette asked. Cloud offered a suave smile and winked slightly.
"Give me something hard," The blonde asked, and Tifa raised a concerned brow.
"I never knew you leant that way…"
…Fuck…
"Well, what I meant was…"
"You know, I'm relieved you made it back safe," Tifa interjected, seemingly averting from the awkward conversation.
"What's with you all of a sudden? That wasn't even a tough job," Cloud shrugged, practically inhaling his drink.
"I guess not. You were in SOLDIER."
…Damn right I was…
Cloud placed his drink back on the counter and stood, swaggering slightly. Ever since he was a cadet, it didn't take much to get him blotto.
"Blo~tto," The blonde smiled slightly, enjoying the roll of the word on his tongue on the thought of it, before Tifa offered a concerned furrowing of her brows.
"Make sure you get your pay from Barret," Tifa nodded, as Cloud swaggered slightly.
"Don't worry, once I get that money I'm outta here."
"Cloud, are you feeling alright?" The brunette asked, Cloud's eyes forcefully being drawn from their comfortable position on her chest.
"…yeah… why?"
"No reason. You just look tired, I guess. You better go down below," The brunette shrugged. Cloud gave a casual shrug before staggering towards the pinball machine, glancing up at the neon sign in the corner of the bar.
…Texas? What the hell is a Texas?
Tifa offered a reassuring smile as he headed for the pole, before Cloud confidently wrapped his legs around the pole and spun, allowing himself his childhood dream of being a fireman, albeit for a brief moment.
Barret looked up when he heard Cloud's 'wheee' from the corner, before offering a concerned gaze. The blonde seemed drunk already.
"Hey Cloud," Rolly gestured him over, "Do you think I'm a little too uptight?"
"Nah," The blonde shrugged, brain struggling to comprehend what Rolly was talking about.
"Well, that's ok. Don't worry about me. I don't look like it, but I'm a coward at heart," Rolly smiled softly, and Cloud let out a small snort.
"Keep telling yourself that, Mr. Polly," Cloud nodded reassuringly, patting the guy on the back. Cloud raised a concerned gaze then, as Barret asked about whether or not they'd fought any SOLDIERs, whilst thin mercenary appeared to be partially assaulting him from behind. Cloud engaged in some kind of meaningless conversation with Barret then, about the values and differences of working for a terrorist organization, in comparison to working for AVALANCHE.
Cloud figured that since thin mercenary guy had been getting so friendly with Barret, he'd take a chance with leaning to whisper in the guy's ear.
"I'm going upstairs," Cloud smiled slightly lopsidedly, from the effects of alcohol. When Barret offered a mortified expression in return, Cloud hastily added on that it was of course, to talk about his money. The blonde headed for the pinball machine then, before Tifa came running in, in all her bouncing glory.
"Wait, Cloud!" She cried, as Barret shook a metal fist in apparent anger.
"Tifa! Let him go! Looks like he still misses the Shinra!" Barret sneered.
…He's just jealous…
"Shut up! I don't care about either Shinra or SOLDIER! But don't get me wrong! I don't care about AVALANCHE or the Planet for that matter!" Cloud snapped, throwing an arm out for dramatic effect. The blonde engaged in mindless chatter for the sake of it, before once again heading to leave. Tifa stopped him before he made it to the door, and the blonde cringed slightly as her voice ground through his ears. Tifa asked him to stay and he shrugged, feeling a little irate at the fact she was killing his buzz.
"The Planet is dying. Slowly but surely it's dying. Someone has to do something," Tifa pleaded.
"So let Barret and his buddies do something about it. It's got nothin' to do with me."
"So! You're really leaving!? You're just going to walk right out ignoring your childhood
friend!?" Tifa shrieked, and something within Cloud's mind clicked over briefly.
"What…? I'm pretty sure when we were kids you blatantly ignor-"
"We're childhood friends, Cloud," Tifa said firmly, smile never faltering.
"But we weren't real-"
"We are childhood friends, Cloud," The brunette insisted.
"Just roll with it. Make the plotline move."
"Sorry?" Cloud suggested.
"You forgot the promise too," The brunette remarked, abruptly upset.
"Promise?"
"So you did forget," Tifa claimed incredulously, and the blonde inwardly groaned. He couldn't win with this chick.
Tifa then prompted Cloud into a flashback, talking of when they were childhood 'friends' and how often the pair had spoken together, being best friends and all. Cloud could vaguely remember a wall, and that was about it, but he rolled along with her in the chance that he might get some leniency in her hounding. Cloud couldn't have been happier when Barret re-emerged, effectively cutting off the confusing conflictions of memories in the blonde's mind, and thankfully offering one of Cloud's favorite things: Money. Barret tossed over fifteen hundred gil, and Cloud had a minor seizure.
"This is my pay? Don't make me laugh," The blonde shrugged, as Barret bit back another aneurism.
Tifa let out a small sigh, but Cloud gave a shrug.
"You got the next one lined up? I'll do it for three thousand," Cloud shrugged, as Barret damn near spewed steam from his ears.
"It's okay, it's okay," Tifa whispered, "We're really hurting for help, right?"
"Ugh… Damnit Tifa, I needed that shit for the saucer. The races are on tonight," Barret whispered back, "Twenty to one odds on a sure winner!"
Barret gave a scowl in the blonde's direction.
"Alright ya whiney little bitch, two thousand!" Barret snapped, and Tifa gave a small smile to Cloud.
"Thanks Cloud," She smiled warmly, and the blonde gave a casual nod. With any luck, he'd be able to do just as little work this time, and still get paid for it. Life was sweet.
--
A/N:
QUESTION TIME NUMBER ONE: is unfortunately pending now. We'll see how we go.
HunterBelmont: Well, hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as we did writing it. Now, umm, I have the privilege of introducing the guest for this author's notes, as my partner is currently too excited for words.
Spopococ: *hyperventilates*
HunterBelmont: Allow me to introduce The One Winged Angel himself, General Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Thank you, it's about time….is she alright? *points to spopococ*
HunterBelmont: Yeah she's fine. Just overwhelmed a bit.
Spopococ: oh God, oh God, oh God…
HunterBelmont: …Maybe a lot.
Sephiroth: I see…is the drooling normal?
Spopococ: … ohmygodiloveyouuuu… *squeal*
Sephiroth: Is that… Is she okay?
HunterBelmont: Yes it's fine. So, that's all the time we have. Goodbye, and thanks for reading!
Spopococ: *faint*