Part V. Heron Blue
It felt strange to be back into the old flow of things. Well, old enough, anyway. Olli had his good days, and he had his bad days, and then there were his really, really bad days. But he was still Olli; the man who knew the secret spell to light a dim room with just a smile and a laugh. They were as infectious as he was, and Christian loved him for it.
Christian was immediately a stake in Olli's life again, and vice versa. As it turned out, Rob wasn't a business partner or friend at all, not anymore. He hit rock bottom a long time ago and came crawling to Olli for a job, which Olli gave him out of pity. He was simply a server at Judith and Constantin's wedding while Olli was out of town for medical treatment. But when Christian injured the creep's hand, he couldn't very well work carrying trays and drinks, so Olli had to let him go.
When Christian brought Olli with him to Waldensteyck, he ecstatic to see the toddlers. He couldn't hold them that day, as it was a bad day and he was a bit weak and feared dropping one. But he was happy all the same, really happy.
"Maybe you two should have some of your own," Luise said with a smile. Christian couldn't tell if she was joking or not, but he hoped that Olli would assume she was joking as not to get any rash ideas.
The next few weeks were almost like being together in the beginning again. Everything was new, and fun. They would play hooky some days and just have a picnic or wander some place they'd never been together. They would talk, and laugh, and spend hours just holding each other, even if it was just in silence. It was so easy to love Olli, and they were closer than ever. For the first time in a long time there were no secrets between them, and that kept them strong.
And then there were the days when Olli didn't feel like he could get out of bed, thanks to the chemotherapy.
Unfortunately when it came to liver cancer, radiation couldn't kill the malignancy like others. But it could shrink and keep the tumor manageable, and Olli's medication usually handled the nausea and vomiting. Usually.
Today was one of Olli's darker days, when he couldn't move due to the unbearable pain in his upper right torso. Seeing him like this, Christian wanted nothing more than to cut out Olli's liver, which Christian had charmingly nicknamed Brutus, and give Olli his own. Christian was just fine with giving up half of his liver, he'd read that it was a regenerative organ. But unlike Rebecca, Christian wasn't a compatible blood type, and that would only end up in a fatal rejection on Olli's part. Christian wanted to ask Rebecca for the favor, but Olli wouldn't hear of it. Olli, being Olli, made Christian swear not to ask her for anything of the sort.
Christian knelt beside the bed and stroked the side of Olli's pale, clammy face. Olli stirred from his sleep, and looked over with a smile.
"Good morning," Olli said warmly.
"Good morning." Christian beamed tenderly. "I have to go to work, but I'll keep my phone on in case you need something, okay?"
"I'll be fine." Olli said. He sat up a bit, but winced and fell back quickly after the pain hit him. Christian kept a firm hand on Olli's shoulder as his love tried to sit up again.
"Don't push it," Christian said. He sat a glass of water next to Olli's assortment of pills he'd prepared on the nightstand. "Take your medication and don't get up until you feel up to it."
"I'll have to go to the bathroom eventually." Olli said dryly as he downed his pills and water.
"Then you'd better hold it until the painkillers kick in." Christian smirked. "I love you very much." He gave him a quick kiss and then grabbed his coat, shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible.
Königsbrunn was a light drizzle as the summer months began to fade and autumn was settling in. Christian had been working on breaking a new stallion by the name of Alec. It was just as stubborn as Elias, but youth and energy was on its side.
The sleek and stunning wheat horse was restless today, so even though he couldn't be properly controlled or guided, Christian rode him out into the rain and let the horse run its heart's desire out on the wide green fields. Christian was trying to get used to its movements and understand its body so that he could better tame the beast. His hips moved with the horse's long gallop, and he tried to keep his body straight, but there was something about the horse that seemed to resist Christian's coordination.
Christian saw Rebecca standing beside the entrance to the stables with an umbrella, watching. Once Alec wore himself out and calmed down a bit, Christian dismounted and led him back to the dry stables with the other horses.
"He's very beautiful," Rebecca said as she ran her fingers through its wet mane.
"But he's stubborn, and has an attitude that needs to be controlled a little better." Christian said.
"Gorgeous and stubborn with an attitude; congratulations, Christian, you've found yourself as a horse. I feel like these horses sometimes; pretty to look at, and pampered day and night, but I'll never truly be free." Rebecca said. Christian glanced at her, wondering what was up with her. She was acting stranger than usual. "How is Olli?"
"As good as can be expected." Christian said. "You should come by and see him sometime, I haven't seen you by once since we patched things up."
"To be honest, I'm afraid to." Rebecca said. "I've been having a really rough year, and I'm afraid that if I come by I just might rub off a little on Olli, and that's the last thing that he needs." She continued to stroke Alec's fur while Christian stared at her skeptically.
"That's the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard." He said.
"Okay, maybe it is, but…" Rebecca bit her lip as she clutched her coat around her waist tightly and stared at her feet. "I am afraid. Whenever I go see him I'll never know if that will be the last time. I would always be wondering if this would be the last laugh, or the last hug."
"That's an even worse excuse." Christian said.
"Excuse me?" Rebecca asked, shocked by his dismissal.
"What do you think it's like for me?" Christian asked. "Every time I lay next to him, I wonder if he'll wake up in the morning. Every time I leave him alone, I wonder if I'll see him later that evening. I'm there for him because every moment might be his last."
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize," Rebecca said.
"The only way I get through it is knowing that he'll pull through. He just has to survive long enough for the hospital to find a liver." Christian said. Rebecca looked a bit embarrassed, but she didn't argue that point. "Anyway, why don't you come over with me when I get off of work?"
"I would, but I have some things to take care of later." Rebecca said.
"More important than seeing Olli?" Christian asked her doubtfully.
"That's not fair, and you know it." Rebecca snapped. "I just need to do something, for Olli, but mostly for myself."
"Are you surprising him with something?" Christian asked. Rebecca tilted her head as she contemplated whatever a girl of her infinite weirdness contemplates.
"You would do anything for Olli because you love him, wouldn't you?" Rebecca asked.
"Of course, anything." Christian said.
"Even if that meant he was in love with someone else, and you knew that you could never have him, would you still give up everything you had to make him happy?" Rebecca asked.
"Olli's never going to be with anyone else, I'm going to make sure of that." Christian said. But he gauged her reaction thoughtfully, and humored her for the sake of it. "But I guess if that were the case… sure I would. Why do you ask?"
"Just ask Olli not to be angry with me, okay?" Rebecca said. This made Christian look twice as she continued to surprise him by stepping forward. She closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye and pulled his lips down to her own. Christian pulled back but Rebecca kept a firm hold on the back of his neck and held him close for a moment longer.
When she broke the kiss, she kept her eyes closed as Christian stared down at her, confused. She brought her fingers up to her red lips and savored the taste of Christian there for a moment longer until she finally looked up into Christian's speechless face.
"Give Olli my love, and tell him I'll see him soon." Rebecca said. Christian watched her walk off, confused, but a bit appalled by the stunt she'd just pulled. First she had to nerve to imply that her social life was more important than Oliver, and then she outright kissed him. Just what was she playing at? Was she trying to start problems between Olli and himself?
After Christian got home, he found Olli asleep on the couch. He placed a gentle kiss on Olli's forehead, and he didn't budge. He must have been out for the count, Christian thought. He took a quick shower to warm up, and then rummaged through their refrigerator to see what he had to work with. They had chicken breasts and salad, which Christian was content with. Olli could use the protein anyway.
As Christian cooked, he tried to keep the noise to a minimum as not to wake Olli. He wanted to surprise him with a home cooked meal and a smile. Andi came home and quietly talked to Christian for a moment about the groceries and who would make the next outing. He silently went back into his room and took the hint that Christian wanted a special evening with his boyfriend. There was something that Christian had been meaning to do for a while now anyway, and it was about time that he put his desires into motion. Talking to Rebecca about last chances had put a few things in perspective, and he knew what he had to do.
When Christian cleaned up and arranged their plates and dinner on the table, he crept over the couch and leaned over the back.
"Olli," he whispered into his ear. His golden boy didn't budge, so he leaned closer and blew into his ear. "Olli, I'm home." He said. Still no response. "You want to do this the hard way, huh?"
He walked around the couch and ran a swift finger up the sensitive bottom of Olli's foot, which immediately forced a shout of laughter from the man.
"I'm up! I'm up!" Olli laughed. "I've been up for a while now."
"You think I didn't know?" Christian smirked. He plopped down on the couch, careful not to hurt Olli in case he was in pain. But Olli grinned and pulled Christian's arm around his shoulder as he snuggled his body against his. "I'm glad to see you feeling better."
"Only because you're home." Olli said. "I helped out downstairs when the place became a little too crowded for Miriam and Jessica to handle. Nothing too hard, just making drinks and ringing up orders."
"Were you feeling up to it?" Christian asked.
"Surprisingly… yes, I was. And besides, it felt nice to get out of the house. It's been a week since you and me have done anything." Olli said.
"I'm sorry about that, but the days I work you feel fine, and the days I have off you feel worse than ever." Christian said.
"Sorry." Olli frowned.
"It's not your fault, I understand. We just need to synchronize out schedules a bit better. Tell Brutus to check in with you before acting up." Christian smirked. "Ah, before I forget, her highness Rebecca Von Lahnstein told me to give you her love."
"How is she?" Olli asked.
"As self-absorbed as ever. She weaseled out of seeing you and then kissed me out of the blue." Christian said. "She gets stranger and stranger every day."
"The last time I spoke to her on the phone she was having a pretty tough time. Maybe she just needed a friendly kiss." Olli said. Christian snorted; there was nothing friendly about that kiss. "But instead of talking about Rebecca, why don't we talk about what's for dinner?"
Christian led Olli to the table, and made sure that Olli had everything he could think to offer before he sat down. Olli was almost back to his old self tonight. He was smiling, and quite energetic, and frisky. He was everything Christian missed and wanted him to achieve again. Christian couldn't imagine how he'd managed to live four months without Olli. It seemed like an eternity. But he promised himself that he wouldn't focus on the past, only the now.
That night they made love for the first time in a while. Sex between them wasn't at all scarce, but when Olli was feeling particularly terrible Christian was just as content to hold him (if the touch wasn't painful) as they lied there. Sometimes that's just what Christian preferred.
But tonight Christian simply focused on trying to please Olli as much as he could, and take time out to enjoy the touch of his skin, the taste on his lips and flesh, and the light in his beautiful eyes as they caught the moon outside. Their hands explored and held as much of each other as they could, and Christian never let Olli go more than a few inches away from him. These moments were among the things in life that Christian lived for. To be one with Olli was like the feeling of a first kiss, or saying 'I love you' for the first time; slightly frightening to open yourself up to such a raw layer, but worth it as Olli did the same.
As Christian held Olli in the afterglow, and kept his fingers interlaced with his lover's hand, he continued to place gentle kissed down Olli's neck and shoulders.
"I love you." Christian whispered.
"I know, you've told me about a dozen times today." Olli grinned as he rolled over and stared into Christian's blue eyes in wonder.
"It's hard not to." Christian admitted. "I just want to make sure that you know every moment of every day. I never want you to doubt that."
"I never will." Olli said. "Is something on your mind? You've been sort of distant tonight."
"Distant?" Christian asked. "Olli, I don't see how distant I could have been during the last few hours in this bed." He laughed. "It's just a conversation Rebecca and I had today. It's nothing important, I just need to shake it out of my head."
"I can help with that," Olli smirked as he closed the space between them with a kiss, laying Christian on his back and resting against him.
"Olli, there's something I want to talk to you about." Christian said.
"I'm obviously quite busy at the moment, I don't think I've got the time." Olli said sarcastically. "What is it?"
"It's about a conversation we had a while ago, something you asked me." Christian said. Olli stared back into his eyes expectantly. "You mentioned spending the rest of our lives together. It goes without saying, but I want to spend every moment of my life with you. And I want to ask you this time"
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Olli asked curiously.
Christian reached over the side of the bed and into his jean pocket and faced Olli with a box in hand. "Only if you plan on taking me seriously."
Olli sat up quickly with a blank slate expression. Christian had no idea what was going on behind those eyes of his, and he wished that he could guess because he was beginning to feel a bit worried at the way Olli was staring back at him. What if he'd changed his mind on marriage and just hadn't told Christian?
"I've had this for a while, and it's taken me until now to build up the courage, so just bear with me." He said as he rolled up onto his knees, facing Olli. "Oliver Sabel, I promise to devote the rest of my existence to your happiness if you'll let me. And the good thing about this proposal is that both of us have already done everything we can to chase the other away and we're still here. Will you marry me?"
"Of course!" Olli shouted giddily with a smile. Before Christian could even open the jewelry box, Olli had his arms wrapped around him tightly and his lips against Christian's. Christian didn't bother worrying or complaining, he simply laid Olli back down and savored this moment for all the flavor it was worth.
The next morning Olli was on the phone calling everyone in his phonebook with the news of his engagement while Christian sat back and watched with a smile. And as Christian went to Königsbrunn to work that week, everyone made sure to take time out of their schedule to congratulate him. Everyone but Rebecca, whom he hadn't seen for a few days. She was always too busy, but now she was just avoiding him.
Even though snow had already moved into the year, and the woods were frosted over, Christian's life was better than ever. Gazing out across the land, Christian wondered if Olli would ever want a house on the countryside, where Christian could raise horses, but where Olli would be close enough to his business and friends. He wondered if Olli would ever want children of their own, or to adopt and provide a good home for a few orphans?
Christian could see it now, walking his horses while the children ran and played with Olli in the snow. They would have built a life together for years, and they would have plenty more to go because their family needed the both of them together. And even when the children were grown and left home, and Olli was a little older, a little greyer, and a little wiser, Christian knew that he'd still be the biggest dreamer in the world, and he would never change that about Olli.
It was such a beautiful vision that is almost seemed real enough to touch.
But one chilly afternoon while Christian was cleaning out the stables he received the inevitable phone call he'd been praying against. Andi called to tell him that Olli's health had taken a drastic slip, and he was in the hospital.
Christian asked the stable manager if he could leave early, and Justus understood completely when he told him the situation. Christian was at the hospital as quickly as he could humanly get there, and waited with Andi on any news of Olli's condition.
"I came back to the apartment and he wouldn't wake up." Andi explained. Helena was there to console him as he stressed over Olli. "He was breathing, but he wouldn't wake up."
And so for the next five hours they spent their time waiting for news, but nothing came. Christian chose to call Gregor and Luise since he didn't want to keep them in the dark in this dire hour. Gregor offered to come by immediately, but Christian assured him that it wasn't necessary. So Gregor simply made him promise to keep him updated.
Finally there was news.
"His body has entered a stress-induced coma." The doctor said. "Basically his liver has finally failed completely, and his brain has turned off its motor signals to keep his pain to a minimum." The woman told them.
"What does that mean?" Christian asked.
"It means that his mind is preparing to die before infection sets on the dead liver. His organs will shut down, one by one, and he will die." She said. "He will be unconscious for the entire system shut down, Mr. Mann, he'll feel no pain at all."
"Are you saying that this is the last time that I'll be able to talk to him?" Christian asked for clarity. The doctor nodded regrettably and told them that they could go and see him now.
Seeing Olli like this, he seemed dead already. He was lying there, eyes shut and body still, and Christian tried to hold himself together, but seeing Andi and Helena break down and cry, Christian's eyes began to water and it wasn't long before the dam broke and his emotions poured forward.
Andi and Helena left Christian alone with him for a while. Christian held his hand and stared at Olli's ring for a while.
One of the few pleasures in life Christian had anticipated was being able to stand before the world and commit himself to Olli. Before friends and family, and even strangers who happened by their wedding, Christian wanted to be able to declare his undying and undyeilding love to Oliver Sabel for the universe to witness.
But he'd asked him too late. He was always too late when it came to the things that mattered most in his life. He shouldn't have waited so long to ask Olli. Now he wouldn't get the opportunity.
Christian called Gregor and Luise and explained the situation, and then tired calling Rebecca, but she didn't answer. Helena said that she hadn't seen Rebecca for days, so she had no idea what her sister was up to.
He really didn't know what to say to Olli. Would it really matter? If his mind had shut down then he wouldn't hear anything he had to say. But in case he could, Christian decided to suck up his pride and say farewell, no matter how ridiculous it felt.
"Hey, Olli," he said. He would barely get through the without choking up and nearly blocking his windpipe; how would he get through the rest if he carried on like this? He wiped his eyes, cleared his throat, and held Olli's hand tightly.
"I really don't know what to say. In my head I always have these speeches that I have prepared in case this happened. Now I can't remember any of them." Christian said. "I guess it's for the best… it wouldn't really be from the heart if it was rehearsed, would it? But it's hard to speak from the heart when it's really the last time, you know?
"Without you, I'm alone. And every day I've stared up at the cracks in the ceiling while you're sleeping next to me, and I think about how unfair it all is. So how can I find any words worth saying at this point? Nothing I say will ever be good enough to tell you good bye, because I'm not ready to tell you good bye." Christian said, hoping that Olli would just wake up right there and say something.
"We still have too much to do together. We still have years to live, and love, and it's all suddenly being taken away. So how can any words express how unreasonable this is?" Christian asked desperately. "Without someone to blame, how can I justify this? I'm so lost without you, I just need you to give me an answer. Olli, please, wake up."
But there was no stir, no movement at all. Olli was as far away as the sun. Christian could do nothing. Without Olli, he was nothing. No, he still had value, Rebecca taught him that. But it would be hard to see it without Olli there to let him know. He held his cold hand, waiting for some sign of change, but it never came.
When Gregor arrived, he immediately took Christian into his arms and tried to comfort him. But just like Christian, he could offer no word of value that would change anything. There was no atonement for this heinous crime, for there was no criminal to accuse. There was no one to punish.
The doctor soon said that his kidneys were shutting down, and the rest of the body would follow through soon enough. She tried to tell them that they had done all that they could, but Christian insisted on staying until the very end. Until Olli's last breath left his lips. Oliver deserved at least that much from Christian, and Christian would deliver.
Olli would not die alone.
An hour later, his breathing grew shallow. Gregor said that he would stay until the end as well, and although Helena had to leave, Andi stayed behind as well.
They would stay there for Olli. Somehow Christian knew that Olli would sense them there, he knew that Olli would know that they were with him right then and there. Even if he couldn't feel Christian's hand in his, he would know Christian was here.
Suddenly there was a rush of movement, and three nurses rushed into the room.
"Quick, get him started on Kidney Dialysis." Olli's doctor instructed them. They unhooked the heart monitor and took the tabs off of his fingers.
"What's going on?" Christian asked. "Where are you taking him? He's not gone yet!"
"Mr. Mann, a word." The doctor said as he was about to start lobbing heads. He looked around at the nurses semi-apologetically, and walked with the doctor outside into the hallway. Christian wiped his eyes and sniffled.
"What's going on?" he demanded.
"We have a blood match for a donor." The doctor said. "If we can get him on dialysis and remove his diseased liver we might be able to save him, but we have to work quickly."
"What?" Christian asked, dumbfounded.
"It just came in, a suicide brought into the morgue this morning." She said. "The organs were preserved as the body was packed in snow and discovered by hikers. We can still use the liver and hope for the best."
"And that will work?" Christian asked.
"It's not a guarantee, and there's no telling if his mind will jump start after this, but it's the only shot he has at surviving." She told him. "All we can do is try and get his body working before anything else shuts down, and hope to get his system in working order."
Christian immediately stepped out of everyone's way and let them get to work. If there was a chance that Olli could be saved in his dying hour, Christian would be the last person in the world to stop them. Andi and Gregor stared at Christian once he re-entered the room and stepped aside as they moved Olli's bed.
"What the hell are they doing?" Andi asked.
"They finally have a donor." Christian said, laughing. "It took this long, and only at the last minute, but they finally have a donor."
"Are you serious?" Gregor asked, and Christian confirmed his questions. Gregor plopped down in a chair with a sigh. "I can't handle these kinds of stresses anymore." He said.
"Getting too old? Wearing you down?" Christian mocked. Gregor's sneer only made him laugh a bit more. Christian knew that Olli would pull through this, he always knew. Christian immediately called Rebecca's phone again, but no answer. He was beginning to get a little aggravated with her selfish 'I can't see him because I'm afraid' diatribe.
Andi said that he had to leave as he had to work in six hours. Gregor was also running on a tight schedule tomorrow, and his day started a bit earlier, so he had to bow out of the picture, which Christian completely understood. Christian was urged by the staff to go home as well, but he still refused. His body may have been exhausted, but he wasn't leaving until Olli spoke to him. So one of the nurses provided him with a cot in an empty room to sleep, and as hard as Christian tried to fight it, he couldn't help but fall asleep.
Sleeping without Olli beside him was a quick reminder of his recent life without him. Cold, and lonely, without the hope of a dream. But it wasn't long until the nurse came to let him know that Olli was out of surgery and his body was doing fine enough on its own. When asked if he was awake, if his mind had come out of its self-built crypt of a coma, the nurse said that only time could tell.
When Christian was allowed to see Olli in the dark early hours of the morning, nothing had changed since he had left. Olli was still unresponsive to anything he said. He talked to him for a while, simply saying anything that came to mind. But most importantly he reminded Olli that they had a wedding to plan, so he had to wake up soon enough.
Christian went home for a quick shower and a change of clothes to go to Königsbrunn, but not to work. Christian was going to request a personal day for Olli's sake, he was sure that Justus would understand. He spent the day simply talking to Olli. Christian had heard that comatose patients can sometimes hear the voices of their loved ones, and it keeps them grounded.
Over the next week, when Christian got off of work he would head straight to the hospital so that he could talk to Olli and let him know that he was loved. As long as he brought love to Olli every day, he knew that everything would be just fine. And when Christian ran out of things to talk about, he started reading to Olli. He started with magazines lying around until he brought one of his favorites, The Pocket Watch, the first of a great series. It was a fantasy, so he thought Olli might like it.
Upon walking into Königsbrunn bright and early on Monday morning, Christian saw someone he was not expecting.
"Andi?" Christian furrowed his brows when Andi looked up at him. "What are you doing here? Olli's at the hospital if you want to see how he's doing for yourself. The surgery went fine, now we've just got to wait for him to wake up."
"That's good news," Andi said. "But that's not why I'm here." He said.
"Then why else would you be here?" Christian asked.
"Helena, she called me about an hour ago and gave me some… shocking news." Andi said. They walked together into the foyer and out of the cold. "Rebecca's been missing."
"Missing?" Christian asked. He thought back on the last time he'd seen her, she was just fine. Then after that, she just started ignoring his calls. "Was she kidnapped?"
"No, they found her." Andi said. "She's dead."
"What?" Christian asked.
"She hanged herself in the woods. And when the rope gave away, the snow storm rolled in and covered up most of her body, but some people found her near a trail. She didn't have any ID on her so she'd been sitting in the morgue for the last week, but no one claimed her. They found some receipts in her coat pockets and reversed the transactions to identify her, and then they notified the family late last night.
"Helena called me this morning in shambles." Andi said.
"Scheisse," Christian sighed. Suddenly everything Rebecca'd said made sense to him. Ask Olli not to be angry with me. She'd been planning it the whole time, and now Christian realized that he was the one who probably talked her into it. Even if the person you loved was with someone else, would you give up everything you had to make him happy? Christian thought that they had cleared up Rebecca's infatuation with him long ago.
He felt sick, like a murderer. Why would she kill herself? She said that she had problems, but that was no reason to go and throw her life away.
A few days later they held a funeral, though there was nothing to bury since she'd been cremated. Christian gave his condolences to Helena, Sebastian & Lydia, and Tristan. After making it back to the hospital in his black garbs, Christian made a call to Constantin and Judith to add his own condolences, and explain Olli's situation to them.
And soon, the drama died down. Days turned to weeks, and weeks quickly became two months as Christian's life routine of working and reading to Olli began wearing him thin. Every day it was the same respone; 'He is healthy, and there's no trace left of his cancer, but there's still no response in his brain.'
Christian read through the winter, and Charlie came by quite frequently to see him. She held veto power on whether or not to stop Olli's life support, and on a few occasions the staff tried to convince her that in this state the chances of him waking up were slim to none. But Christian was there to talk her down when they'd gotten her riled up and convince her that they just had to wait a little longer.
But as spring rolled in, and Christian had run out of anything interesting to read, he took a good long hard look into Olli's blank face and had to wonder.
What would Olli want?
Oliver had never really mentioned what he would want in this situation. Would he really want Christian to keep trying to fight off everyone else's opinion of letting him die? Would he want to be kept a vegetable for the slim chance that he might open his eyes? Or would he want to die a dignified death?
Christian knelt beside the bed and took Olli's hand into his own, and looked at the ring as it glinted in the sunlight.
"Olli," Christian said. He stroked his face, and swept his hair out of his face. It'd grown quite a bit since he had been here. "Olli, love, tell me what you want. Everyone else thinks that you should die peacefully, and I want you to live, but I don't know if that's what you want.
"I want to do right by you, and I need to know what the right thing is." Christian begged. "Just give me some sort of sign, anything. Let me know that you hear me, let me know your touch. Let me know that you love me, and that will be enough, I swear it will be enough." Christian said.
And Olli's hand was gripping his hand. Christian couldn't believe it when he saw his fingers move and clench his fist, he almost didn't believe it had happened but Olli's fingers were still holding his.
"You can hear me, can't you?" he said with tears of incontestable ecstasy. He kissed Olli and went to get his doctor. And where there was no sign of brain activity last week, or the week before, Olli's mind was glowing in a few spots on the scan sheet. Christian didn't know what each region of the brain controlled, and what certain areas of the scan meant.
What he did know was that he was doing right by Olli, just like he'd asked.
Day by day, Christian kept talking to Olli and telling him how much he meant to him. He shared everything he could with Olli now he knew that he could hear him. He told him of his dream of having a house together after they were married, and raising horses on his own. He told him about adopting children, and giving Olli everything he deserved, and more. He told Olli about Rebecca's suicide, and how although it didn't make sense in the slightest to know that she did care about him.
"Lucius wanted to tell Imogen why he could be nothing more than friend to her, but he didn't think that it would help. To love her would end in disaster, for they were too close to the law to remain undetected, and once discovered it would be the end of the world they had created together.
So why, then, go through the motions and palsy the heart of all longings from the staggering beatings of the world's objections to a love that, in their own natural heart, they should embrace and welcome? For all their laws and punishments, how richer or poorer are they in security and morale for denying two people, be them human, vampire, wraith or witch, from loving one another?
To love her would be a crime that Lucius would commit willingly, but he refused to take Imogen down with him, and that was what she couldn't understand.
"Well, that's the end of that chapter," Christian said. And when he looked up into Olli's long, thin face, he was stunned to see two beautiful hazel-green eyes staring back at him in the warm afternoon sun. "Mein gott."
"Hello, schatz." Olli smiled. His voice was hoarse, and his throat was dry, but it was by far the most beautiful sound he'd heard in a long time.
"I have so much to tell you." Christian smiled back. And he sat there holding Olli's hand, treasuring the grip he felt in return. Though some endings had come, and some were looming on the horizon, their ending was still a long, long distance into the future, decades and decades to go until they would stare it down the throat as fighters. Nothing else would ever come between them again – nothing could possibly come between them. All the jealousy and views between them couldn't outshine the consequences, nor would they allow it. For Christian and Olli had learned the true measure of forgiveness, and what happens when a stubborn attitude gets out of control.
Everyone else could wait a little longer for the good news because this moment was for Christian and Olli alone.
†~The End~†
AN: I didn't want to tac any cheap personal marketing ploys onto this story, but I'm sort of in a spot where I'm going nowhere and I need some help. What I need are reviews on for my first book The Pocket Watch so that I can draw some attention to it. The second book, The White Knight comes out June 15th so I'm hoping that will also help.
If you'd like to read a free eBook copy of The Pocket Watch in any format (such as PDF, .mobi for Kindle, LRF for Sony ebook reader, etc...) please email me at ronnelldporter(at)yahoo(dot)com and I'll send you on so long as you promise to leave a review on Amazon. I sort of (like really) need them. For more information on The Pocket Watch, visit the Amazon page here: amazon(dot)com/Trinity-Saga-Pocket-Watch-ebook/dp/B002TG4PF4
Thanks for reading this story, and I hope to hear from people!