The next morning Faith was late getting up.
She couldn't remember exactly how much she had drunk the night before, but she remembered starting on the Jack Daniels and she could remember the argument with Kennedy on the walk home.
It had been about the younger slayer moving in on her girl.
She also vaguely remembered Kennedy punching her in the face. She definitely remembered punching Kennedy back in the face. Or maybe she'd punched her first. She didn't know.
They'd arrived back at the house together though so it couldn't have been much of a fight. No one was left for dead in the woods. Xander had been up when they got home. She couldn't remember their conversation, but those last few beers with him had definitely been a mistake.
The last hangover she'd had was the morning after Ogallala. At least this one wasn't a patch on that bastard. Her head hurt a little and her stomach needed something solid and toasted to get rid of the churning going on inside, but mostly she just felt pathetic at the memory of her 'sharing' the night before.
By the time she dragged herself out of bed she was over an hour late for work. Xander hadn't come knocking for once, though, so maybe he was still sleeping it off too. Or maybe she'd quit last night, or he'd fired her, and she just couldn't remember it.
A long, hot shower made her feel marginally better. Back in her bedroom, she dragged her clothes on quick and left her hair wet to go and get some breakfast.
Buffy was the only person in the kitchen and Faith's legs seemed to buckle at the sight of her. Grabbing the doorframe tightly, she managed to school herself into something like normal before Buffy looked up and saw her.
"Hey."
"Hey." Faith nodded and let go of the doorframe. "Morning. Did Andrew make, uh, I mean, how are you?"
Buffy looked at her quizzically. "I'm okay. Andrew and Craig just left for the airport, but he left some bacon."
Faith's stomach lurched a little. "Toast!"
Buffy smiled. "I'm sorry?"
Faith closed her eyes for a second and then walked into the kitchen. "I need toast," she clarified, embarrassed. "Do you want some?"
Buffy got up from her chair and pointed at it. "Sit."
"I'm fine," she said automatically.
As she moved towards the toaster on the far side of the room, Buffy gently caught her arm.
"Sit down," she insisted, pulling her closer to the chair. "I can make it for you."
"You don't have to…"
"I know I don't. Coffee?"
"Yeah." Faith gave in, sinking down on the chair. "I'm late for work. Is Xander mad?"
Buffy shook her head as she put bread in the toaster and poured a mug of coffee. "He went into Cleveland to pick up some doors or something. He left a note for you."
She brought it over with the coffee before going back to wait by the toaster.
Faith blew on her coffee as she read the note.
"He's given me the morning off. Does this mean I'm fired?"
"No, I think it just means you have the morning off."
"Cool," Faith muttered.
The time off was useful, would give her some time to prepare for later. Preparation she should have done the night before, but had chosen to drink to forget about it instead. Smart moves being her thing and all.
She sipped from her coffee. It was still hot enough to burn her lips a little, but it felt good going down.
"Kennedy has a black eye," Buffy said casually, catching the toast as it popped up.
Faith couldn't help her smile. "She does?"
"Uh huh. It's almost gone, and she tried to hide it, but I know a fading black eye when I see one."
"Wonder how she got that?" Faith asked, but it didn't come out enough like a question to sound innocent.
Buffy brought over a plate with four pieces of toast – two buttered, two unbuttered – and set it on the table. Gently she touched a fingertip to Faith's left cheek.
"Same way you got this bruise maybe?"
Faith jerked her head away and picked up a slice of the unbuttered toast. "So she told you."
"Actually, no." Buffy sat in the chair next to her and picked up a buttered slice. "Xander told me you'd had words last night and I pieced it together when I saw your cheek. I'm quick like that." She flashed a smile before biting into her toast.
Faith just crunched up her own slice quickly. Washing it down with a mouthful of coffee, she started immediately on her second slice. Once it was gone and also washed down, she looked at the remaining triangle of toast on the plate longingly.
Buffy was only halfway through her first piece as she followed Faith's gaze. She put her fingertips on the edge of the crust of the remaining slice to claim it and looked up playfully.
"It's buttered."
"I'll live," Faith replied, trying to smile about it despite her churning stomach.
Buffy shrugged and pushed the plate towards her.
"You're sure?"
"I've already had a cooked…" It disappeared into Faith's mouth with three fast bites. "…breakfast. You want some more?"
Faith shook her head, starting to feel better now. "I'll have that bacon in a bit, but right now just sitting is, uh, good, I guess."
Now was probably as good a time as any to try and find some common ground with Buffy. It was just the two of them and nice and quiet. Plus, they'd just shared breakfast together; if nothing else came to her she could always start a debate on the merits of unbuttered toast over buttered.
Didn't hurt that the anxious, jumpy feeling she was getting at being alone with Buffy was taking her mind off of later too. Lesser of two evils or something.
"Yeah, this is… good," Faith said, hoping it sounded more genuine out loud than it did in her head.
"Okay," Buffy said slowly, eyeing her.
It her made her feel stupidly nervous and Faith gulped a little more coffee than she meant to. Coughing as the hot liquid tried to drown her, she covered her mouth and her eyes, watering freely, darted about in embarrassment. The more she wanted to stop coughing the more she coughed but she shied away as Buffy tried to pat her on the back.
Eventually she got her breath under control and wiped her eyes, but she felt even less able to make it through a proper conversation with Buffy than before. Where was all the damn bravado her teachers and then her jailers had bitched about for years when she really fricken needed it?
"I can't do this," she said despairingly to herself.
"What?"
Faith looked at her quickly, "Nothing."
"Okay," Buffy said even more slowly than before. "You're being weird."
"I'm not!"
Buffy nodded. "'Yes you are."
Faith nodded too. For several moments they were like two bobble-heads reacting off of each other. And then Faith stood up swiftly.
"I have to go."
"Okay, why?"
Faith shook her head. "I don't know."
"Okay."
"Okay." Faith just stood there.
Buffy just sat there. Eons passed. Buffy fidgeted a little. Faith fidgeted a little.
"You could just sit down again."
"Okay." Faith sat back down.
Another month or so seemed to pass.
"You're being weird," Buffy said again.
"So are you," Faith countered.
"Yeah." Buffy nodded. "Maybe I should go."
"Yeah." Faith nodded, before changing her mind. "I mean, no! If I can't go you can't go."
"I never said you couldn't go."
Faith stiffened slightly. "Do you want me to go?"
"No!"
Faith unstiffened. "Okay."
"Okay," Buffy agreed.
There was another bout of silence.
"So…" Faith began.
"Yes?" Buffy asked hopefully.
"We should, uh…"
"Talk?"
At a loss, Faith sort of shrugged. "I guess."
"Okay."
Faith's mind went blank. She couldn't even remember what she wanted to say, let alone how to say it. Buffy sat patiently, but the longer the silence dragged on the more she seemed to sag in her chair.
After another minute, Buffy got up from the table.
"You're going?" Faith hoped she didn't sound relieved.
"I need coffee. All this non-stop not-talking is wearing me out."
"I don't know what to say," she admitted as Buffy went to the coffee pot. "You know me, I'm not good at… this talking stuff."
"Your therapy sessions are going to be pretty quiet then." Buffy chuckled.
Faith cracked a grin. "Maybe not."
"How come?"
"I find it easier to talk about you than to you."
"Really?" Buffy leaned her elbows on the counter, her mug cupped between her hands. "What are you planning on saying about me?"
Okay, so this wasn't taking her mind off it so much now, was kinda forcing her mind right into it in fact, but maybe this was good too. They'd both managed a couple of complete sentences at last and at least this was something she could talk about, should be talking about. She wanted Buffy in the loop, kinda needed her support even, not that she had a clue how to ask for it. But Buffy had just given her a way into the topic, now all Faith had to do was run with it.
"That'll probably depend on the questions I'm asked."
"Is that how it works then? They ask you questions and you answer them?"
Faith shrugged fully this time. "Not exactly. My shrink in prison just used to start me off with a question and then kinda steered the conversation from there if I ran out of steam."
"Like what kind of question?"
"You know, the usual." Faith tried to think back to those sessions in the quiet windowless grey room. For the first year and a half she had been handcuffed to her chair every time. After that apparently she'd earned the right to full hand gestures, but the questions hadn't gotten any less restraining. "Did anyone make you feel homicidal in the lunch queue today? Did you have any dreams about killing bad people last night? What memories do you have of your Mother's coke habit? You get the idea."
Buffy didn't actually look like she did despite her slow nod. She smiled anyway as she came back to the table. "Good questions, I'm sure, but what does any of that have to do with me?"
"Not a thing." Faith laughed quietly. "I didn't talk about you in prison. Least, not the first time."
"Why not?"
As Buffy took her seat again, Faith sat forward, forearms on the table top as she smirked a little at the blonde.
"Okay, tell me the truth, how often did you talk about me between leaving me with the LAPD and me turning up in Sunnydale with Willow?"
When Buffy hesitated, Faith's eyebrows jumped once in playful curiosity.
Buffy cleared her throat. "As little as possible. You weren't exactly my favourite topic."
"Ditto." Faith sat back in her chair, crossing her ankles under the table and picking up her half full mug of coffee so she would have something to keep her hands busy. Her smirk grew stronger along with her confident posture as she remembered something from last night. "What about the second time I was in? After Sunnydale? Talk about me much then?"
Buffy actually blushed and ducked her head to the side. She was smiling though. "Your name might have crossed my lips a few times."
"Really?"
"I take it someone's been talking. Xander?"
"Alex. He said it got…" She grinned. "…really graphic."
Buffy went an even brighter shade of red. "Oh, I'm gonna kill him!"
Faith laughed. "Relax, he didn't go into detail. You can if you want though."
"At ten 'o' clock on a Monday morning, I don't think so."
"It was that good?"
"No!" Buffy said. "Or maybe, I don't know, I can't really remember." She laughed softly, shaking her head. "I think I was talking about how you have no hair."
Faith frowned. "I have hair."
"On your beard," Buffy clarified. "Your beard has no hair."
"Right," she drawled. "That makes perfect sense."
Buffy shrugged. "I may have been a little tipsy. So did you talk about me the second time?"
Faith nodded. "To Janey. It didn't get graphic though."
Buffy grinned. "Why not?"
"I doubt she'da wanted to hear it somehow."
"Oh. So, what's she like?"
"Small, cute, blonde."
A little of Buffy's grin slipped away. "I didn't ask for her Playboy tagline. I meant what's her personality like."
Faith's eyebrows rose a little at her reaction, but she carefully lowered them again before answering. "Sweet, sensitive, out of her depth but game, ya know? If she wasn't stuck in the joint she'd be a hell of a Slayer," she added with a proud smile.
The rest of Buffy's grin disappeared, but she stayed quiet. Faith had the sense to know something had shifted in the mood, but she couldn't figure out why so she continued.
"I kinda wanted to talk to Giles about getting her out."
"Really?" The tone wasn't frosty, just a little chilled. "Why?"
"Because she shouldn't be in there in the first place."
"I thought she killed someone."
"Well, yeah, but it was an accident. Some dude messed with her and she punched him. That's all. She didn't know she had super-strength at the time or anything."
"Still…"
"Still nothing, B!" Faith said, sitting forward again. "If I can get out free and clear after what I did, there's no way we can leave J to rot in that place."
"J," Buffy whispered to herself. Before Faith could ask what of it, she added. "Fine, talk to Giles."
Faith studied her for a moment or two. "I shouldn't have to ask if you're okay with this."
"Then don't." Buffy cut her eyes to the side and sighed audibly before looking back. "You don't. Talk to Giles. And if you need my help…" Buffy stood up again and leaned on the back of her chair as she pushed it in. "…Just let me know. I gotta…" She pointed over her shoulder, but then after a second's hesitation started in the other direction towards the back door.
"So now we're done talking?" Faith asked, confused and a little annoyed.
"No. I just…" Buffy stopped at the door and turned to face her. "I like that you want to help this girl, really, but… but I said I'd spar with Kennedy this morning, so I should do that and we should just pick this back up later, okay?"
A gust of cold wind swirled around Faith as Buffy left. She shivered, staring at the back door as it closed again. She was even more confused now. Why was Buffy running away when they'd finally started talking normally? Wasn't that what she had been wanting all along?
"Guess it'll have to be," she muttered to herself before getting up to find the bacon.
"Isn't she sixteen?" Kennedy asked as she jumped back just in time to stop a fist from striking her nose.
"Going on seventeen, I think, but what's that got to do with anything?" Buffy shot back irritably.
Her next punch connected solidly and she danced lightly around the younger Slayer on the balls of her feet as she waited for her to recover.
"That you're jealous of a sixteen year old," Kennedy spelled out as she wiped her watering eyes.
"I'm not jealous!" Buffy pushed her hard between her shoulder blades.
In her unreadiness, Kennedy stumbled a few steps forward, but she twirled fast enough and engaged with a left back hand that caught and stung Buffy's forearm, locking her elbow for a moment so she had to dodge back out of the way before she could retaliate.
"You sound jealous."
"She's sixteen!"
"This was my point." Kennedy smirked as she blocked a series of headshots with only a little less than perfect ease.
"I'm not jealous," Buffy repeated, mostly for her own benefit.
She would have been surer of herself if Faith's appraisal of the girl hadn't been so praiseful. It was true she wanted to be the only small, cute blonde Faith thought about, but that didn't mean she thought this Janey was any kind of a threat. After all, she was in prison! She couldn't get less threatening unless she was dead.
"They shared a cell," she mused aloud as she knocked Kennedy's countering punches away without really seeing them. "And you know what they say about prison."
"Really shitty food?"
Buffy caught Kennedy's right hook by the wrist and twisted into her. A cock of her hip later and Kennedy was flat out on the blue training mats.
"I was thinking more of all the girl-on-girl," she admitted. She dropped to her knees next to Kennedy's feet. "And give me fifty for leaving yourself open like that."
Kennedy gave a chuckle that was half frustrated sigh. "You know, all the other girls get jealous because you're giving me personal training, but if they could see the crap you actually put me through…"
"Okay, I've been counting in my head and you should be on twelve by now so you better get a move on."
Kennedy started her sit-ups and Buffy dropped her stern face.
"You know why I'm giving you the personal treatment, right?"
Kennedy stopped counting under her breath to say. "Because you secretly dig me?"
"Oh God, don't you start!" Buffy shook her head in mock – well, mostly mock – dismay. "You have the makings of a great Slayer, Kenny. Well, you all do, but I can't help thinking some of you are gonna never reach your full potential because of the whole lack of Watchers thing. I don't want that to happen to you."
Kennedy grinned. "Because I'm special?"
Buffy thwapped her thigh with the back of her hand. "Because you're difficult and I know you wouldn't listen or take any notice of someone who's been a Watcher for less time than you've been a Slayer."
Kennedy finished her fifty sit-ups and flopped back down to her back. "Can you blame me?"
"Not really. I was Giles' first Slayer; I don't think he'd even had potentials before, so we sort of grew into our roles together. But Giles' are few and far between, especially now. You could be first rate, Kennedy, I'm sure of it, but you can't do it alone."
Kennedy went unusually quiet and when it lasted Buffy looked down at her.
"What?"
"Are you offering to be my Watcher?"
"What? No. I'm not a Watcher," Buffy said quickly.
"Then what are you offering?"
"Just someone to keep you on your toes until we find the right guy… or gal, for you."
"What if I don't want anyone else?" When Buffy just stared at her, Kennedy sat up. "I had a Watcher, a great one, for ten years. No one is ever going to take his place. And that's not being difficult, that's just the way I feel."
Buffy nodded solemnly. "So we'll just keep going with the personal treatment then."
"Thanks, Xan." Buffy held the kitchen door open for him with her foot. "Is that the last of it?"
"I think so." Xander shouldered the door as he came through so that Buffy could step away before she dropped the three overloaded brown bags in her arms. "I actually saw the jeeps tires pop back into their usual round shape when I picked it up."
"I told you we should take the truck." She laughed but it morphed into "Oh, shit!" as she felt the middle bag start to slip.
She saw Xander's eye go wide but with the big cardboard box in his hands he was going to be no help. Before she could resign herself to clearing splattered ingredients from the floor, Faith was there. Catching the falling bag easily, she steadied the others until Buffy could settle them on the table.
"Thanks."
"No worries." Faith handed the errant bag back and walked away. "Buy enough? There's only gonna be six of us, ya know?"
"That's what I said." Xander put his box next to the other stuff and stretched.
"I bought two of everything I need. Just in case." She eyed Faith as she put her coat on. "You're going to Barnies again?"
She tried to make the question sound light, but it didn't. She couldn't hide all her annoyance. Their conversation that morning had left her feeling irritable about stuff and whether her jealousy was irrational or not – and she could admit it probably was – Faith seemed to be deliberately forcing distance between them. Only showing enough attention to keep Buffy guessing as to whether they were still a couple or if the moment had passed for them.
"Patrol. It's my night."
"Oh."
"You wanna come with me?" Faith wrapped a woolly scarf around her neck. "Or are you going with Kennedy again?"
"I wasn't planning on going at all tonight."
She'd planned on spending the evening going through her recipes and making sure she had everything, but the thought of patrolling with Faith was an appealing one. They hadn't yet since Faith had been back, at least not just the two of them. It was one of the things Buffy had most been looking forward to about having her around and maybe it was just what they needed.
"Do you really want me to come with?"
"Sure. Long as you apologise for storming out on me earlier first."
"I didn't storm out on you!"
"You upped and left in the middle of a conversation. What would you call it?" Faith asked.
"I thought we'd finished," she lied.
"No you didn't." Faith fetched her keys from the hook by the door. "So, you gonna?"
"I sat through half an hour of you hemming and hawing before you actually managed to get to the conversation," Buffy said. "It's not my fault we ran out of time."
"Okay, fine." Faith gave her a quick kiss on the lips. Walking out the back door, she added, "Don't wait up."
Once the door was shut, Buffy kicked one of the dining chairs.
"Hey, hey, no!" Xander darted forward and pulled her away from the table altogether. "I didn't spend all that time making you a state of the art training barn so you could beat up our breakable furniture."
"Sorry," Buffy muttered. "I just wish she'd stop doing that."
"What, kissing you?"
"Yes. No. Not completely. I just want her to stop the walking away part afterwards. It's confusing."
"If it's any help I think she's pretty confused right now too," Xander said.
"She's talked to you?"
"Not exactly." Xander shrugged. "You know what she's like. Faith doesn't so much talk as rant while she's working. It'd be pretty funny if I didn't think laughing would get me cold-cocked."
"Did she rant about me today?" Buffy asked hopefully.
Xander shook his head. "We didn't work together today. I was working on plans for the stables and Faith was whitewashing the outside of the shower block. And can I just say that its typical we finally get that thing up and running just in time for there to be no one here to use it."
"We'll appreciate it when everyone comes back. So when did she last rant about me?"
Xander went to fetch two beers from the refrigerator and brought one back to her. "Last night, and I already told you everything about it that I'm going to."
"But you didn't tell me anything!"
When Xander just shrugged again, Buffy sighed and opened her beer.
"If it was Angel you'd tell me everything."
"That's because I don't like Angel."
"I didn't think you liked Faith all that much either," Buffy said, putting her bottle on the counter so she could start unpacking the shopping.
"She's growing on me. A little. Look, Buff, if she was saying bad stuff, I'd tell you and then I'd hate her with you, but she's not. She's just pissed at the way things are, same as you."
"Well, she's the only one who can change things."
"Maybe she thinks the same about you."
Buffy fiddled with a jar of cranberry sauce. She wanted to make own, but that had too many avenues for disaster, so she had brought three different kinds and was going to mix them together. That was sort of like making her own.
"I'm doing everything I can."
"Really? When was the last time you spontaneously kissed her before leaving a room?"
Buffy pouted. "I never get the chance to leave the room first."
"Not even this morning?"
"Okay, so this conversation is done," she said, putting the jar down and digging into a bag again.
Xander didn't let up. "Did you ask her how her session went today?"
A bag of frozen peas dropped to the table with a slushy sound. "What?"
Xander looked as alarmed as she felt. "Her first appointment was at lunch. That's why I gave her the morning off. Tell me you remembered that?"
Buffy had black spots in her vision. "She never told me what day. And… and she never said this morning! How was I…? Oh, I'm begging you to tell me you're messing with me. Please, Xander?"
"Well, I would, but… I thought she would have told you."
Buffy shook her head. "I knew it was this week but…How could she not tell me?" she asked, getting angry, better for staving off the guilt.
"Didn't you ask?"
"I asked if she wanted to talk about it. She said no. I didn't bring it up again because I didn't want to crowd her. Dammit! Should I go find her?"
"Normally, I'd say yes, but unless you know which direction she went in you could just end up walking around angry and upset the whole night."
Buffy nodded. "Guess I'm waiting up for her after all." She started to pull the stuff angrily from the bags. "I'm so mad at her right now! Why can't she ever just talk to me like a normal person?"
"Apparently she tried this morning." Buffy glared at him and he held his hands up in surrender. "Or, yeah, exactly what you said."
Most of the shopping was dumped out on the table now. Picking up her beer with one hand, Buffy carried a few items to the fridge in her other. She took a long swallow before opening the fridge and shoving the items in wherever they'd fit.
She couldn't believe Faith. Why would she do this? Sure they were having problems, but her first therapist appointment was a big thing. It should have transcended all the crap. She realised Faith had tried to talk to her about it that morning. The therapy thing had come up, but it was Faith who had changed the subject, not her. If the other woman had been secretly urging that she dig deeper, she should have left a few more clues.
She took another long pull on her bottle and then set it on top of the fridge. Although it was the last thing she cared about right now, she had to get the cold food away before it went off. Having to spend another three hours in Wal-Mart tomorrow, replacing this stuff, wasn't going to help anyone.
"Chuck me the stuff for the fridge?" she asked to save her walking to and fro.
"Okay." Xander picked up a large tub of coleslaw and hefted it in his hand a few times. "Ready?"
"Uh huh."
Xander threw the tub and Buffy realised too late that it wasn't a perfect trajectory. Not expecting it made her lunging catch a second out and the tub sailed past her. The lid split against the window sill and coleslaw slopped down over the stove.
They both stared at the mess.
"I only have one eye!" Xander said defensively.
"And we still let you drive?" Buffy chuckled as she turned to him. "Think there's any chance we can pretend that isn't there until Andrew gets back next week?"
Her chuckle died when she saw how dejected Xander looked. With a bolstering breath, she resolved not to give in to his melancholy.
"Okay, lets try that again with something less splattery."
"No." He lifted his beer to his lips.
"Stop it!"
Her harsh tone actually made him pause before taking a drink. Capitalizing on it, Buffy stomped around the counter and snatched the bottle from his hands.
"You can have this back when the shopping is put away," she said as she stomped back again.
"Oh yeah, says…"
"Says me! And I'm really pissed off right now, Xan; do you really want me taking it out on you?"
"Fine." He picked up a two-pint carton of fresh cream. "But you're clearing up the mess."
He threw it to her, or actually, at her. She was still holding his beer and only had one hand. In retrospect it probably wouldn't have made much difference. As the carton hit her shoulder the foil top exploded.
Buffy looked down at her cream covered sweater, clucked her tongue and looked back up.
"See, you can do it, you just need focus."
Xander remained expressionless for a couple of seconds but then the laughter came. He couldn't seem to help it. It bubbled up, it bubbled out and it got louder the longer it went on.
Buffy joined in easily. Not even bothering to wipe at the cream dripping down her clothes. It would have only made it worse anyway. Setting his beer next to hers, she wiped her watering eyes with one hand and clutched at the fridge door with her other.
Giles suddenly burst into the kitchen. "Gather everyone! I think I have an idea about the Hedray's..." He stopped short when he realised they were laughing too hard to take any notice, and then he looked around the kitchen. "What on earth happened?"
It was by chance Willow wandered into the kitchen looking for a soda, but Giles collared her before she could beat a hasty retreat from all the people inside.
"Ah, Willow, finally someone I can rely on to act like a grown-up." He waved her closer.
"We are acting like grown-ups!" Buffy said.
"Yeah, we just went grocery shopping!" Xander added. "That's what grown-ups do."
She noticed they were both giggling like kids on opposite sides of the room. "Did I miss something funny?"
What she really meant was what had happened to make Xander laugh and smile so freely. She felt jealousy nibble at her insides. Trust Buffy to make him feel better. She chose to conveniently forget that Buffy had asked only the night before for some help in that department. Obviously she didn't need it anyway.
Still giggling, Buffy turned to face her and Willow saw the white cream splattered from her chin to her jeans.
She couldn't help grinning. "What happened?"
"Xander got a little over-excited." Buffy took an open bottle of beer from the top of the fridge and had a sip. Pulling it away, she grimaced and rubbed a drop of cream from her lips with the back of her hand. "All over me!"
Willow's eyebrows rose up as her grin grew and even Giles had a twinkle in his eye as he asked,
"Would you like us to leave the two of you alone?"
"What? Oh, ew!" Buffy pulled a face as she blushed. "Giles! It's just cream. From a cow, not from a… a boy."
Giles took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "And once again I regret sinking so far as your level."
"No, you just dug your own whole new level, G-meister." Grinning, Xander patted his shoulder as he walked to the fridge. "Besides, if my cream started getting carrots in it, I'd be on my way to the ER right now, not standing here giggling about it."
"Enough about the cream," Giles begged.
"Carrots?" Willow asked, not getting it.
Did Buffy and Xander suddenly have funny little private jokes that she wasn't in on?
"Cabbage too." Buffy pointed behind her too the stove and then brought her hand back around to slap at Xander's.
"And, ow!"
"Do we look like we're done?" Buffy asked, pushing him away so he couldn't make a second grab for his beer. "Get back over there."
"You can't seriously want to take a third shot at this?"
Willow stared at what she hoped was coleslaw covering the top of the stove and the window sill behind it. In her imagination she could hear it dribbling down the wall, out of sight, where it would fester and grow stuff.
"I'm not cleaning it up," she said quickly, just so it had been said. She turned back to the others. "Shot at what?"
"I need this table cleared as soon as possible," Giles said, probably thinking the best way to avoid conversations that might crack the lenses of his glasses was to just pretend they weren't even happening.
"We're on it." Buffy pushed gently at Xander again. "Come on, you heard the man."
"Don't you want to get changed first?" Xander asked as he moved over to the shopping spread over the table.
Buffy wiped the top of her bottle on a clean bit of sleeve before taking a cream-free sip. Putting the beer on top of the fridge again, she shook her head.
"That might just lead to me getting changed twice. Now focus… but gently!"
Willow feigned interest in the books Giles was putting on any free space of table top, but really she was watching what Xander and Buffy were doing. Wanting to join in, but not wanting to give Xander a reason to stop or Buffy a reason to think they were okay yet.
Xander picked up a bag of carrots next and after staring intently at Buffy for several seconds he threw them to her. They went wide, but Buffy was ready for it and stepped forward to catch them and… disappeared.
The carrots hit the toaster hard enough to crash it into the wall just behind, but Buffy's disembodied laughter was louder.
"I slipped in the cream!" she yelled through her giggles.
The split second expression of surprise before she'd disappeared from sight had been priceless and coupled with Buffy's infectious mirth, Willow was soon laughing hard too, as much as she tried to hold it in.
Shaking his head, but smiling, Giles said patiently. "As much as I fully support this activity, perhaps it would be less messy if Xander practised his catching for a little while instead."
"Are you saying there's something wrong with my catching?" Xander asked light-heartedly.
"Not at all." Without looking up from the book in his hands Giles picked a melon from the table and threw it at him.
Xander reacted quick enough but his catch was a little off and after much hand-slapping as he tried to get a grip on it, it flew over his right shoulder and smashed open on the floor behind him.
"Okay, was that really necessary?" Xander asked with a little less good-humour as he turned to stare at the remains of the melon.
Giles smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
Willow fell to her knees with laughter.
Xander shrugged. "You're taking Buff to Cleveland tomorrow to replace all this stuff as punishment."
Giles nodded. "Done."
Buffy finally pulled herself back up by the counters. She was even more cream-stained than before. It was even in her hair.
"No giving up," she said. "We can do this." Then she noticed the melon. "Hey, that was my supper!"
Her disgruntled tone increased Willow's giggles and she crawled over to inspect the shattered fruit.
"Most of its still edible."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Xander picked up the two pieces, leaving a lot of red mush on the floor, and smooshed them together. "See for yourself."
He pretended to throw them to her.
"No!" Buffy jumped back with her hands raised and slipped over again with a little scream. "Okay, I think that one caused a concussion."
Willow collapsed onto her side, weak from laughing. Even Giles was chuckling aloud now. Xander went to dump the melon haves onto the draining board and helped Buffy up.
"I think that's enough throwing and catching practise for one night," he said. "Otherwise what food doesn't end up on the floor is gonna get spoiled anyway."
"I agree." Giles stacked some of the packages of meat up and carried them to the counter closest to the fridge. "I think it would prove less expensive if we practised outside tomorrow with a tennis ball instead."
From where she was still laying uncomfortably on the floor, Willow saw Xander's surprise at the suggestion better than maybe Giles or Buffy did. He didn't seem to know how to react at first and she saw interest, temptation and exasperation cross his face.
Eventually he settled on a neutral, "If you think it's worth the time."
Giles grinned over his shoulder at him as he gathered another stack from the table. "Of course. It will be fun."
"I'm in." Buffy was rubbing the back of her head where she'd bonked it. "Will?"
Her eyes darted to Xander before she answered. He looked to her at the same time, but his expression gave nothing else away.
"Sure. If I can be any help," she said. "Uh, Buff, did you want the rest of this watermelon?" She pointed to the seedy slush next to her.
"I don't know. How clean is the floor?"
"Not." She wrinkled her nose. She couldn't see any dirt, but the stone felt gritty beneath her bare arm and her nose was definitely detecting the tingle of dust. "Probably better just to hand me some of that kitchen towel," she decided.
By the time Buffy had ripped off a great chunk to start wiping the cream from the floor and Xander had taken another dozen sheets to clear the coleslaw from the stove, there wasn't a whole lot left on the roll. He chucked it down to her without thinking and she had to roll onto her back and reach up with both hands fast to catch it.
She did though; making it a minor victory for Xander's throwing skills that night. Before she could say anything congratulatory, she sneezed.
Oh God, it was freezing, literally. Had she teleported to the Arctic Circle this time. Looking around she saw a familiar bench, a familiar training barn and, when she turned around, a familiar back door. Just their garden then. Not particularly comforted by that – after all, she hadn't planned to come out here and she had no coat on – she hurried back to the house. If she wasn't sick already, staying out here another minute was going to make her.
She rushed in the back door, shivering hard, to find everyone staring at her. She sneezed.
It was very dark but at least it was warm. Too warm. Xander must have lit a fire earlier to stave off the chilly evening. She could feel it roasting her socked feet. She was in the fricking chimney! She struggled in the claustrophobic flue but before pure panic could set in the soot made her sneeze.
"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!" she yelped.
She was back in the kitchen and her feet felt burnt. She hopped forward, deliberately landing in the watermelon guts and breathed a silent sigh as they cooled her soles.
Her friends surrounded her, asking questions, but she didn't know the answer to any of them and was too freaked to hear them clearly anyway.
Buffy grabbed her arm tightly, earthing her attention a little. "Willow, what's happening to you?"
"I don't…"
She sneezed again and the cold was back. It had brought a strong wind with it for companionship. Willow's eyes were closed and she really didn't want to open them.
Hearing Buffy say, "Oh shit!" changed her mind.
"Where are we?" All she knew was that they were perching on something cold, hard and sloping. Nothing looked recognisable.
"I think…" Buffy was looking around trying to figure that out. "…On the roof."
"The roof!"
Willow wasn't scared of heights but she was scared of falling off the top of a three-storey house. As she twisted to check the validity of Buffy's guess, she started to slip down the tiles.
"Buffy!"
"I got you," Buffy promised, catching her arm and pulling her back up to the pinnacle.
"No, let go of me!" Willow struggled out of her firm grip, nearly slipping again. "There's no telling where I might sneeze us to next time."
"Don't worry about that. Look, just hold on to the chimney stack while I find the best way down."
"I don't like chimneys any more!" Willow felt close to meltdown. Which was weird seeing as she was once again freezing her ass off.
"Well, you don't have to be best friends with it, just hold on." Buffy started inching her way down the tiles. "You know, when I said I wanted to sit on the roof and howl at the moon tonight, I was just joking."
Willow gave a strained chuckle. As Buffy's feet slipped on the icy tiles, she blurted, "Be careful."
"I am. Just going to see how far it is to the balcony from up here. I can drop down and then catch…"
The smoke coming from the chimney made Willow sneeze.
She was shivering hard still, but it felt good to be out of the wind. She stepped back out of the oogy watermelon remains as her friends gathered round. Buffy went to grab her arm.
"Don't touch me!" She jumped further back.
"Sorry, I…" Buffy looked hurt on top of the confusion already deep set on her face. "I just…"
Willow pointed at her. "You're… you're on the roof."
Buffy looked down at herself. "Okay, weirdest insult of the night goes to..."
Barely listening, Willow yanked open the back door and ran out into the freezing night. She ran far enough from the house to be able to see the roof clearly. There was no silhouette against the indigo-blue of the night sky, but there were plenty of deep shadows.
"Buffy! Buffy!" She called up.
When there was no answer, Willow ran back into the house.
"What was that about?" Buffy asked.
"Will, are you okay?" Xander asked, she pulled back as he tried to put his arm around her.
"Perhaps you should sit…" Giles began with grave concern.
She felt dizzy and her eyes went blurry. Seconds later she felt her body hit the stone kitchen floor as she passed out.
[End of Act One]