I Didn't Mean Too Chapter 10, a castle fanfic

Didn't Mean Too

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is AU; Kate's mom is alive, and still happily married to Jim. Kate and Rick think about their possible relationship through the words of a song, one at the end of season two, the other at Kyra's wedding. Who will blink first and utter those three words,

I don't own Castle; I only use the characters for amusement purposes, except the ones I create.

Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this more believable fiction, thanks. Remember This IS AU, Johanna is alive but there are other surprises and changes to the main story plot. Hope you enjoy it,

NOTE! UPDATES WILL BE SLOWER THAN USUAL,

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Chapter 10

Pompilli's House of Spaghetti

Same Evening

Kate was so shocked by Rick's request all she could say was, "Excuse me, Rick, did you just ask me to dance, I mean, I, eh,"

"It's OK if you don't want to, I mean, I," Rick responded the disappointment written all over his face,

"No Rick, it's not that I don't want to, but are you sure, I mean, I don't want to start something and be so wrong with where I think things could be headed, I"

"Kate, it's a dance, a way to get to know you just a little bit better, and you're not wrong. You must know that it's been a long time for me, and I, well, I need you to be patient with me. I'm sure we'll get to where you think we will, it might just take me a bit longer, but I'm trying, I promise you I am." He smiled as he took her into his arms and gently guided her to the small dance floor.

The first thing she was conscious of was the smell of his aftershave, hell she had stolen a sweatshirt and sealed it in a plastic bag when she moved from the loft just so she could remember how he smelled, so sweet and sexy. Now he was holding her in his arms, and she was getting intoxicated with the aroma, or was it his strong arms, gently guiding her?

Rick was in a different space as well, he couldn't believe this was the same Katherine Beckett, labeled hard ass of the precinct in his arms. She felt so small, so vulnerable, and the waves of just a slight smell of cherries when he leaned into her hair, was driving him crazy. He was a little shocked when she pulled him in tight, laying her head on his shoulder, eyes closed, as if she was in a new world. The song ended, and just as he was about to break the hold, she pulled him even tighter,

"Rick, do you mind if we dance another dance?" She looked up at him her brown eyes sparkling with a beautiful smile, as the music began again,

He pulled her close and laid his forehead against hers, "I'd be honored Kate, thanks for asking, I wasn't brave enough to ask for two in a row" he smiled, and his eyes twinkled as the gentle sounds came from the speakers,

Hard to Say I'm Sorry

Chicago

Everybody needs a little time away
I heard her say
From each other
Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me, I can't let go, ooh-ooh

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Just for the day
From your body
Wouldn't wanna be swept away
Far away from the one that I love

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
Hold me now
I really wanna tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me, I can't let go
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you

I promise to

You're gonna be the lucky one

When we get there, gonna jump in the air
No one'll see us 'cause there's nobody there
After all, you know we really don't care
Hold on, I'm gonna take you there

Kate melted into his arms, lost in the music, the moment, and holding her breath with the realization that it would soon be over, what then? What would tomorrow be? Would he be sorry? Would she?

She felt a soft kiss on her forehead, she lifted her head slightly to look into his eyes, "Don't overthink it Kate, let it happen, please?" he pleaded,

She pulled his head down gently and captured his lips in a kiss, not one that said I want to screw your brains out, although she wouldn't be against that, but knew it was much too soon for him. His lips returned the kiss, gentle, sensuous. She was filled with the feeling that perhaps she was finally into something good, something real and not just a physical reaction to human needs.

"I'm sorry Rick, I mean I don't know what got into me, I"

"I'm not, thank you, I hope you're not sorry about the kiss, just the surprise" he smiled, and she kissed him again, "did you get your answer?" she asked, suddenly completely comfortable with him.

"Yes, I did", he returned the kiss once again. "Kate, it's been a long time, and I don't want to lead you on, so"

"Rick, read your letter, it's all in there, and I understand. I know we must talk about a lot of things, but can I have this night with you just holding me? It's been as long for me as it has for you, and"

He interrupted her with another gentle kiss, then a smile as he whispered, "Of course, whatever you want Kate" and so it began. One song, one dance and now they were on the verge of overcoming years of baggage and guilt. Neither thought it would be easy, especially Kate, but she was getting a dream fulfilled tonight, and no one could ever take that from her, regardless of the future.

The night ended far too soon, with Rick walking her to her door, "I had a wonderful time, the best I have in years, Thank You, Kate. Can I call you tomorrow or are you on duty or have plans?" he asked suddenly shy,

"I'm free Rick, and I would love it if you would call, we don't have to do anything, but we both know we need to talk. We can take it at your pace, again, read your letter, and let me know if I said anything that would make you uncomfortable, promise?" She whispered, staring into his deep blue orbits,

"I promise, eh, well," she pulled his head down, there was no way he was leaving without one more goodnight kiss. This was soft and sensuous but lasted much longer, almost as if neither wanted to break the contact. Finally, they both needed to break for air, "Goodnight Kate, I'll call you tomorrow. Thank you for a wonderful evening" he said, as he held her hand gently stepping back and letting him slowly lose touch with her.

Goodnight Rick, Thank You, I'll be waiting for your call, I had a wonderful evening as well." She was already missing him, and he wasn't even gone yet, she waited till her hand was free from his, and he backpedaled to the elevator, never taking his eyes off her. Once the elevator door closed, she stepped into her apartment, felt her lips, where his lips had been just a few moments earlier, and leaned against the door to seal the evening in her forever memory.

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Three Months Later

Kate and Rick had grown closer each day, spending many afternoons in the park, walking hand in hand as they discussed the past, or sometimes enjoying a picnic lunch in the park watching the small kids play. Rick had kept his word and called her the day after their date, at 10:00 AM, confessing he had fought the urge since 5:00 AM. The day was the first of many as they fell into a comfortable relationship, nothing defined officially. Kate didn't need a formal title, or promise she knew his heart and the man was baring his soul to her about the hurt he had felt when Kyra pulled the rug from under him in college.

When he told her the full story, tears in his eyes, she cried, she felt the hurt he must have felt. The closest thing she could relate to was her rejection from Mike Royce, her Training Officer. She told Rick the entire story, not leaving any details out. She cried when she finished the story, Rick held her gently, kissed her forehead, and just whispered, "Kate, the heart wants what the heart wants, it's not foolish, it's human. I'm glad that Mike was an honorable man,"

She glanced up at him and kissed him deeply, that was the first time they had made love, well the first day, there were multiple sessions and God did he know how to please her. He still refused to come back to the precinct but took her calls anytime she reached out to him, even when he was on his book tour. He would steal away and call her within a few minutes, he always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better.

Things were going so well, then the case fell into her lap. Of all the police precincts, and the many homicide detectives in New York, WHY the hell did she have to catch this case? There had been a murder at the Four Seasons Hotel, not just any type of murder but that of a bridesmaid. She didn't know the entire facts until she arrived on the scene and discovered that the wedding party consisted of Kyra Blaine and her fiancé, Gregg Murphy. As soon as she discovered the names, she knew she had to call Rick.

She slipped away into a private room and made perhaps one of the hardest calls she had ever had to make. Her hands were so wet with perspiration she could hardly hit the speed dial number for him, praying that he would pick up. She had no idea what voicemail she could leave if he didn't, then she heard, "Kate, are you OK, I thought you were working today" His deep baritone voice came over the phone,

"Hi Babe, I am, I, well, I caught a case, and I don't know how to tell you this, but, I"

"Kate is everyone OK, I mean you're scaring the hell out of me," he was upset, she could tell,

"Everyone is fine Rick, it's the case. There was a murder at the Four Seasons hotel, the victim was a bridesmaid from out of town," she got out,

"Oh my God, that's terrible, but why has this got you so upset, I mean, is there something more you need to tell me?" He knew her so very well, she could never hide anything from him.

"Babe, I don't know how else to say this, but the wedding party was Gregg Murphy and, eh, I, Kyra Blaine. I didn't want you to find out on the news, or from some other source, I'm sorry Rick, I'm so very sorry." She said, fighting back her emotions,

There was silence on the phone for a long time, Kate allowed him time to compose himself, "Babe, if you feel you would be better here, we're at the Four Seasons and will be for at least two more hours, I mean, I"

"Thanks, Kate, do you want me to come there? I mean, I, it was such a long time ago"

"Rick, of course, I want you here, I want you with me everywhere but Babe, you don't have to put yourself through this again, I know how much she hurt you." She said trying to sound positive,

"Meet me in the lobby in 20 minutes, can you do that?" he asked,

"Of course, Rick, are you sure, I mean I"

"I'm sure. As you said, it will be on the news soon, and I would rather face this head-on than try to run from it. Are you going to be, OK?" he asked, just like him, he was worried about her feelings,

"Babe, I won't let her, I won't let anyone hurt you again, I'll be all right as soon as I see you,"

"I'll be there in twenty minutes, Thanks Kate, I know this was a tough call to make." He said softly and quickly hung up.

Exactly 18 minutes later Kate rushed to him as he entered and stood in the lobby. She pulled him into a conference room away from security cameras, paparazzi, and others who still didn't know of their growing friendship.

"Babe, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Rick, I" she breathed into his collar as he held her tightly,

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about, I'm just glad you called me to let me know what was going on. I've had a few minutes to prepare, so it won't come as such a shock. Have you talked to her yet?" he asked,

Kate shook her head no, afraid if she pulled back from him that her tears, anger, and desire to make the bride hurt for hurting the man she now knew without a doubt that she loved with all her heart. She had promised she wouldn't allow him to be hurt, and now she was helpless to stop the reunion and pain Rick would feel, seeing her with the man she was about to marry.

"Kate, we must talk to them, remember it isn't about her, me, or even us. A young lady lost her life, and we need to keep focused on finding her justice, OK? Please don't leave me, especially when we first meet them, OK?" He said softly as he rubbed small circles in the middle of her back, a habit he had done since their first date, and it calmed her. His touch calmed her,

"OK Rick, you tell me when you're ready, I won't leave your side, not until you want me to," she said, she leaned back and was surprised, when his lips captured hers in a brief sweet kiss.

"What if the boys start asking questions, or worse Lanie? Are you prepared to tell them the truth? I'm proud to be the man that gets to escort you and hell, you know what I mean. Kate, they can make things tough for you at work, so be sure, OK?"

"Rick, I want to scream it from the top of the Empire State Building, my boyfriend is Richard Castle, eat your hearts out, but well, I'll settle for how and when anyone finds out, OK? Don't worry about me, I'm proud, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, aren't we? She suddenly realized that neither had established what their relationship was.

He smiled, and kissed her gently, "It is for now, Babe, but I see that changing soon, that is if you want it to,"

"If you're saying what I think you are, hell yes, I'm ready for the next step, but Rick please be sure, babe, I told you we would take things at your speed." She fought to hold her tears in, turning a moment of doubt that he wouldn't care for her once he saw Kyra into one of not only hope but anticipation for the next step in their lives.

They stepped out of the office and into an elevator to approach one's past, the other's greatest fear was that this was the one person who could take Rick away from her. Rick reached over hit the stop button on the elevator, took out his phone, and pressed play for an iTunes he had downloaded for her.

"Kate, I know we can't talk in public, well not like we would like to. I want you to know that all I need is to see your face, so remember this song, when I am talking to others, OK?" She shook her head yes as the sounds of

When You Say Nothing at All

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain what I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near you drown out the crowd
Old Mister Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

He grasped her hand, kissed her quickly, and asked, "Ready now?"

"I'm ready Babe, let's go get justice for the victim, and Rick, if you don't know by now, I love you, more than anything in this world. You don't have to say a word, I"

"Kate, I love you too," let's get this over with, I need to spend some alone time with you, OK?" he asked, as he waggled his eyebrows, making her laugh as always

"OK, Babe, OK.

TBC