Her Joy

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Lucius passed the statue of a gargoyle, an unfortunate piece that his father had collected quite some time ago, for what had to be the billionth time. He had tried, earlier in the evening, to sit in the chair and stair at the wall but as the first scream had reached his ears he could no longer maintain his facade of calm. He was very pleased that no one was here to witness his fall from grace, since the only one who'd seen him this way had always ever been Narcissa. Lucius paused at the base of the stairs when he heard the blood curling scream of his wife.

He swore to the dark lord that he was never going to make her go through this again. Never in his life had been so worried for another person before, not even for himself when he was on one of his missions. With the memory of his missions came the relief that he would never have to go on another one. And although it was aggravating to know that the dark lord had lost to a child and in whole lost the war, it was also mixed with a feeling of pleasure that his son would grow up. He would have liked his son to grow up in a different way, in a different world, but the lost of the war would not stop his son from growing up with certain privileges.

Even though the war had ended only a month ago it had already brought many good things to his life, one thing was a certainty that his son would grow up without the opposition of the dark lord. And for that he was eternally happy, he didn't want his son to grow up under another's rule. It also saved his wife from the aliment of worry that seemed to have cloaked her since learning of his allegiance. Which the doctor had assured him was not good for her pregnancy, and had proceed to tell him how it was low of him to cheat on his wife at this point, thinking that this was her worry. He had then proceeded to curse the doctor till he was satisfied that he would be in his own ward for quite some time. Which Bellatrix had made sure to never let him live down and then had told him that if he ever cheated on her sister she would be so enraged she would be sure to kill him in a muggle way to disgrace him to the max. Suffice it is to say that marrying a Black with a sister like Bella, was much more dangerous than anything he had ever done. How that mud-blood that Cissy's elder sister had married survived he would never know.

Lucius had fallen in with his wife; he knew that truth for a fact now, but no matter how much he loved his wife he could not stand his sister-in-law. He liked to think that the fact that Lestrange was sent to Azkaban was a little bonus to him self and all the years he had to deal with her raving, a joy he had never shared with his very pregnant wife. Many people believed that Bella had been in love with the Dark Lord and to tell the truth he had thought so too. Until his wife had pointed out that the only times Bella even seemed sane had been in the company of Rodulphus, her husband. Perhaps not even the dark lord had understood her as greatly as her husband had. But he had no great care for those people he didn't even have any like for them, and cared nothing of their suffering, as his wife cared for her sister's pain.

He was ripped from his thoughts as a young woman started to run down the stairs and rush right pass him, despite his hand that had reached out to call her to him. Lucius gritted his teeth to keep himself from using an unspeakable on her knowing that it would not help his wife. And the fact that she had been in a hurry must mean something right?

The next time she came around the corner he was ready for her. With a suddenness that could only come from worry he wrapped his long fingers around her elbow and pulled her to where he could at least look at the side of her face. "What's going on up there?" He asked the woman clearing his throat when he heard the undertone of desperation in his voice.

"The baby it won't turn around were doing all we can. I just need this potion and maybe it will help to turn it around." The woman said at a dizzying speed obviously ready to run away and help her colleagues with the birth. Lucius was so shocked his hold on the woman lessened and she slipped through running up the stairs.

She was halfway up when he processed the words and turned toward the stares calling after the girl "Could it kill her,"

At the hesitant and completely unguarded voice the young woman turned around so fast the bottle of potion was in danger of slipping and falling onto the floor. She was shocked with just that one question everything she believed about the Malfoy was shattered. She had thought he was an inconsiderate man who had only wanted an heir from his young wife, and then would toss her aside for another woman. Hell, who could blame her for thinking this way he had put her mentor in the ward with multiple curses. But with that questions came the understanding that he really did care for his wife, more than everyone else had thought. Now it made sense why the woman had been asking for him. But right now she didn't have time to analyze this new information seeing as she had to make sure that his wife and child lived through the end of labor. So with a quick decisions she answered Malfoy and raced up the stairs back into the room "Both,"

"Both," He whispered in horror. Only now realizing what could happen. He had been worried ever since his wife had gone into labor. But now he was quite terrified. Earlier today she had slipped and fallen down the stairs he had felt the breath rush out of his mouth in terror. He had raced down the stairs only to see Narcissa clutching her stomach her face etched in pain. He had lifted her up and carried her to the bed, where she had stayed for a total of eight hours now. The doctor was called and hadn't come out since.

What good was magic when it couldn't even save his Narcissa. Lucius felt terrible and as if he couldn't stand the weight of what he had just heard he plopped down in a nearby chair and stared up the stairs. He couldn't bring him self to go up them with the shaky legs that wouldn't even allow him to stumble across a flat surface so instead he braced his elbows on his knees, laced his fingers and allowed his face to droop down and rest on his hands. He couldn't loose Cissy or their son, in the eight months and three weeks that he had known his son; he had fallen in love with him. He didn't want to loose either one.

He had never regretted marrying his wife. He had also always been very happy with his father's decisions. He had been ecstatic when she had sat on his lap and weaved her silky fingers through his hair, her face glowing, with what he later would recognize as a young mothers joy, moving in closer to capture his lips in a heated kiss. He remembered being very surprised since she had never come into his study when he was working before this moment. When she had pulled away, and when he was contemplating lying her across his desk, she had slid her lips near his ear and had whispered two words that had forever changed his life. Now, if she would only say three words would his life ever be complete. But he feared now that she would never be able to say those words to him and now he felt silly for never saying those words to her.

So he was left sitting in that chair contemplating life and reliving all his times with his wife. The worry that he would never see her again when the mark on his arm started to burn and he was left apperating in the middle of the night. The joy of laying his hand on his wife's stomach feeling his son's strength through the thin protection of which she offered. The fear as he watched Narcissa come to a stumbling stop at the base of the stairs. The spiking terror as the doctor told his colleagues that it was to dangerous to move her and that if it had been only a few months earlier it could have been a miscarriage. The anxiety as he walked a path in the floor wringing his hands and looking up at the ceiling every time he heard the scream. The outrage that he was not allowed to walk into the birthing room to comfort her. The pain that shot through his face in the effort to seem like nothing had bothered him, as if he was indifferent. But most of all he felt the stomach wrenching worry and sadness that he may never see his wife again or hold his son for the first time.

And in the twirling of his feelings he did not hear the scream that was not Narcissa's. Or hear the soft foot steps of the same young woman from earlier walking down the stairs.

~.~.~.~

Narcissa breathed in and out, trying to catch a breath through the soreness of her now raw throat. She had never experienced so much pain in her life. Not when Bella had hexed her for reading her diary or when she had accidently turned Andy's cat purple with a charm, which had resulted in the a black and blue hand. No, not even her first night with Lucius had made her feel this much pain, although that night she did have many good memories that out weighed that moment of brief pain. But all those times she had never been given such a precious gift for sucking up with the pain and pulling through. The moment she had heard that glorious screeching she had rested her tired muscles and allowed the pain to melt away from her replaced with tiredness that went bone deep. She swallowed hard and let her head roll over to the side to watch as the nurse used her wand to clean up the young squirming bundle. She smiled at the site of her fussy baby realizing that he would most likely be a lot like his father. Shutting her eyes and resting her head on the bed she heard as the door opened and shut, she choose to ignore it and let herself drift off on a cloud.

She didn't think she could be any happier than this. She no longer worried about her husband dying or being dragged off into Azkaban, which made her happier than anything else ever had. Until the birth of her son, this brought her to the other thing that completed her happiness. Her son who she hadn't even held yet was already the center of her life. The only thing that could make this moment perfect is if her husband ran up the stairs and to her side and or if she had her sisters. She even wanted Andy to be here to see the beauty of her child, just like she would have liked to be there for the daughter she knew Andy had had. She knew her caring sister would have held her hand and told her that it would all be worth it, and she would believe it like she used to believe everything Andy had ever told her. She would also have liked Bella to be there to tell her to suck it up and stop screaming…on second thought Bella would have had to wait downstairs with their husbands. Smiling at that thought she rolled her head to the side.

But at the realization that she would never see her sisters again the smile slid off to be replaced with a frown. She had no idea where Andy was and Bella was going through even more pain then she had just gone through.

"Cissy what's wrong?" At the sound of her husband's voice she popped her eyes opened and stared into his brilliantly grey eyes that were laced with worry. Her frown dripped off and a smile slid through the gathering storm of her thoughts.

"Nothing's wrong," She murmured as she felt her husband's hand find hers and grab on. She slowly lifted her head and looked around the room, while she had been trapped in her thoughts the bedchamber had been cleaned her clothes had been changed. And almost all the people who had helped with the birth had left the room, all but the woman in the corner who was placing her son in a crib "Wait," She croaked out making the woman pause in the act and turn around with the boy in her arms "Could I hold him? Please,"

The woman looked over to her husband and at his nod brought her son over to her side only to gently place him in the crook of her arms. "Here you go be careful with him he's brand new."

Narcissa smiled at her son who was now gently clutching at the air with his eyes closed, content to lie in his mother's arms.

Lucius smiled at the scene of mother and child. And he smiled back when Narcissa lifted her head to beam over at him. He had never seen her more beautiful than at this very moment. "Isn't he perfect?" At the wonder that he could sense in her voice he turned to look at his son for the first time. He shifted in his seat by the bed to get a better look at his son. He had a small crop of sliver blond hair on his head and the facial structure of a Malfoy. The only thing that he could see that was like his mother was the nose that he loved on his wife. He sat there for a little bit longer reliving the feeling of joy that he had both his wife and son alive and healthy. He watched a little longer as his son clutched onto his mother's finger and brought it to the cavern of his mouth making her smile. "He's even more perfect than I had thought possible."

At his declaration he leaned over the bed and gave Narcissa a quick kiss to show that he was proud that she had given him such a wonderful son and had than trailed a finger over his son's cheek only to have it grabbed onto and lead to his infant's son. He looked over at his wife and smiled. "What did you want to name him?"

"I would like to follow the Black family tradition like we discussed, do you have any ideas?" Narcissa said still smiling at her son as he gummed his mother and father's tip of their fingers. She would never have believed that she could forget the hours of pain she had went through but here she was overjoyed that those hours of pain had actually happened. When she had first heard that she was pregnant she had been overjoyed that she would be able to give Lucius something. But she had also been terrified and not only of motherhood but the fear that her son would grow up with no father.

At that time Lucius had been away from home more than he had been home, being called out at all times of the day to do the Dark Lord's bidding. She didn't want to raise her baby all by her self; she never wanted to live without Lucius. She had only ever told him that she loved him once and he had not replied she doubted he had heard. And if he had then the pain from his mark had fogged over her confession and she had fallen asleep before she heard anything. In fact, it had been sleep deprivation that had let the words slip out in the first place. And she could never make herself say those words again, but now that the dark lord was gone it no longer mattered, she had all the time in the world to tell him. But right now she was too captivated by her son to tell him, she would have to wait for another time.

"Hmm," Lucius agreed unaware of how his wife's thoughts flowed also too captivated by their son. Still in awe of the life that was lying in it's mothers arms. "Let's name him Draco,"

"Draco Malfoy hmm," Narcissa titled her head to the side to look at her son who had let go of their fingers and had instead opened his eyes to look over at the parents that he had gained "It fits him," she decided before smiling into the eyes of her son "Hello Draco, I'm so happy that you've decided to come out and meet us my silver eyed son."

Lucius chuckled as he whipped his finger on the blanket and shifted off the chair so that he could lie on the bed next to his wife. "Cissy, his eyes are blue,"

"Aw, but I have feeling that they'll turn silver in no time." Narcissa insisted as she slid her child reluctantly over to its father "Now, here you hold your son."

"Our son," he corrected as he took a hold of their son and brought him to rest in the crook of his own arms. "When will he start smiling?"

"Not for another few months," Narcissa said as she rested her head on her husbands shoulder and closed her eyes already starting to drift away for a second time. "Until then he'll probably keep us up at all hours of the day, so I better start falling asleep before it gets started. Because there is no way were putting a silencing charm on him like you suggested when I brought it up."

Lucius chuckled as he watched their son mimicked his mother and shut his own eyes. "Oh, and Narcissa,"

"Hmm" she yawned when she realized that he wasn't going to continue till he had confirmation that she was listening.

"Not ever again,"

Narcissa opened her eyes so that she could meet his silver eyes "What are you talking about?"

"This is our last child we will never have another one because I will never be put through the terror I was today, do you understand?" Lucius asked as he used his fee hand to swipe a stand of hair away from her tired and frowning face.

"What if I want another child, I mean giving birth is a natural thing and the reward is quite satisfying."

"Be that as it may, I can't go through it again Cissy never." Lucius whispered as he leaned down and kissed her frowning mouth, when he lifted his head she was softly smiling at him.

"I understand Lucius, I don't think I could do it again either. I'm sorry I'm so weak."

"Never weak," he offered as he kissed her cheek and whispered for her to go to sleep. He watched as her eyelids fluttered close and her breathing regulated to follow her sons.

He didn't think his life could get more perfect than this. But even with the fear of loosing his family, he still could not say the three words that were itching at the back of his throat. Then he would show his wife and son his love with his actions, and maybe some day he would be able to say the words to the two people in the world that he truly cared about.