hey all sorry for the long wait! have had this chapter ready to post for the last week but internet didn't agree!! :( any way here it is i hope you like!!! please let me know what ya think. next chapter won't be too far behind either! thanks to all faithful readers your the reason i write this at all! thanks soooo much!
love lo
ex's ~&~ oh's
ps. song is Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade, with a few changes to the lyrics so it works with the story. a really pretty song check it out!!
Jude made it to the bathroom of the studio without drawing to much attention to her self. However Sadie seemed to have been watching the door in which she appeared from carefully since Tommy and she had entered it. Sadie entered the bathroom quietly, she knew Jude was upset. She just didn't understand what was going on. One word came to mind though 'Tommy'.
'Jude, what's up?' Sadie asked tentatively standing the other side of the only occupied stall. She heard small sobs from the inside of the toilet.
'Come on you know I can help you…' Sadie tried again.
Jude took a deep breath to compose her self more. She unlocked the door and walked straight out past Sadie to the sinks. She wiped her make up in the mirror silently. Sadie had followed her and now stood at her side, waiting.
'I'm okay Sadie.' Jude finally spoke. Her voice only slightly shook with the left over anger she held.
'Yeah I mean the storming across the room and crying obviously means your ecstatic. ' Sadie replied sarcasm pouring from her every word.
'It could!' Jude shot back, then she reminded herself that it wasn't Sadie she was angry with, and this wasn't fair. 'I'm sorry Sade's I'm a bit of a wreck right now. I don't mean to take it out on you.' Jude stared at the floor breathing deeply, she didn't want to cry over this anymore.
'Well you know where I am if you wanna talk it out.' Sadie said sympathetically, she realized Jude needed time to her self. She headed out the bathroom with out waiting for her sister to reply.
After another ten minutes or so Jude finally exited the toilets, she headed straight for the studio. She was at work so she would be the professional here. She needed to record, she also needed to get this out of her. It would make her feel ten times better it always did. It was like she couldn't face her emotions properly but when they were out there in her song she could figure it out. An added bonus was that it would hopefully make Tommy feel ten times worse…can we say UPSIDE! He deserved a bit of her pain right now.
Jude entered the small room to see Tommy sat running his hands through his hair at the soundboard. Good he was stressing over this.
'I think its about time we got to work!' she interrupted his thoughts.
'Jude…I'm sorry you're right I'm an idiot….' He started to talk.
'Stop Tommy, we are meant to be recording so let's get on with it.' With this she turned her back on him and entered the recording booth.
She grabbed an acoustic from the far corner of the room ready to start the new song. Tommy was just staring at her through the glass. She spoke in to the microphone that was already set up.
'You ready.' Normally she would have commented on his lack of enthusiasm and concentration, but today it wasn't the same. She wasn't Jude any more and he wasn't her Tommy.
'Jude Harrison untitled take one.' Was his brief reply. Good he was getting the hang off this. He was her producer and her his artist, that was all. Jude didn't begin to play however. Tommy looked at her expectantly.
'Actually it has a title.' She spoke, her voice held less authority than before; he noticed the change. She was nervous now.
'Okay..' he spoke in to the microphone on the board. He waited for her reply.
'Miserable at best- acoustic version.' She finally spoke. Tommy again saw the pain in her beautiful blue eyes. And it hurt him more than anything to know he was the cause of her pain.
'Okay Jude Harrison Miserable at Best, acoustic, take one.'
Jude began to play trying to stay composed. He needed to hear this. If they were ever going to move past this, she had to let it out. She had to let him go.
Baby, don't cry I know your trying your hardest
But the hardest part is letting go
The nights we shared
You no it's haunting but compared
To your eyes
Nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky
It's not right but I want it so
Tommy sat up a little straighter in his chair. He knew this song was going to be hard to hear he knew it would be about them. Her voice was strong but held in so much emotion, so much pain. The worst of it was the story she told, not till now did he quite realize how much he loved her and how much she loved him. Yet he had told her to basically throw it all away. He had made her think he didn't care. He was also completely stunned at the way she managed to explain all of this with such beauty and the lyrics were almost her best yet.
Lets not pretend like your alone tonight
I know she's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room I stare
But you won't get the nerve to walk the floor and ask me up to dance
I would say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say and her to second guess
So I guess
That I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable at best
You're all that I'd hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home
You're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living is just taking breath to stay
Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
When I need it…
So lets not pretend like your alone tonight
I know she's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room I stare
But you won't get the nerve to walk the floor and ask me up to dance
I would say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say and her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable at best
Okay Tommy was wrong, this wasn't hard it was excruciating. Sat only perhaps a meter away from him was the most beautiful girl he had ever known. He beauty was deep and her love was deeper. And she gave it all to him. But what did he do? He threw it back at her and chose someone else. Why? Because she was just too good for him. He didn't deserve what she wanted him to have, her heart.
And this will be the first time in a week
That I talk to you and I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Cause I dream of her lips on your cheek
I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly
He would fix this he had to. But maybe she was right in someway. Friends was all they should be for now. He was a mess, and she was too. What ever she said she didn't know what she really wanted yet. If they could prove to themselves that they were capable of holding it together alone maybe there was hope for someday. But right now…it just wasn't right.
So lets not pretend like your alone tonight
I know she's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room I stare
But you won't get the nerve to walk the floor and ask me up to dance
I would say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say and her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable…
I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable…
Oooh I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable at best
Jude looked up to his face. She didn't know what she would see in his eyes. What was there surprised her though. It was a strange realization that hit them both. She suddenly lost all anger she held for him. All of that had gone in to her words. Now all she had left was compassion. He found this as hard as she did, she felt like she had matured about ten years. No longer was she the girl with a hopeless crush. She was a woman, and they couldn't be together she needed to deal with that. And now she thought she could.
hey thanks for reading please review!!!
hint for next chapter- " what are you doing here ?"