Do you know what's worth fighting for
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins
I stepped inside the gates of the academy hoping my long absence hadn't been noticed by anyone, but unfortunately as soon as I stepped foot inside the day class dorms I was greeted by Zero and Headmaster Cross worried look.
"Kira-Chan where have you been? We were about to go looking for-what happened to you?" he asked. His usual cheery look was replaced by one of full concern and I suddenly felt completely speechless, but I bit my tongue and spoke in a soft but broken voice.
"I was with the president but we had a…" I didn't know what to say. "problem."
"Lets talk this out in my office, come too Zero, Yagari told me enough to think you might be involved." He nodded his head and for a second I felt a huge gap in my chest and I recognized that to be the feeling of loneliness which I had been experiencing since last night. The walk to his office was silent and Headmaster Cross had to help me walk due to my left side still hurting.
When we finally got to his office he helped me sit on a chair across him while Zero stood behind the chair next to mine. "What exactly happened Kira?" he asked I took in a deep breath and braced myself for the punishment I was surely going to get.
"I attacked the president." headmaster's eyes widened to the point where I started to think they would pop out of their socket. Despite the seriousness of the situation I felt the need to laugh but bit my tongue because the pain it would cause my insides wasn't worth it. "W-why?" he asked in a baffled tone.
I didn't think twice before I opened my mouth to speak. "She told Yagari to keep Zero away from me and dared to insult my grandfathers memory." Before he could speak I rose my hand to stop him, I still had a lot to say. "Headmaster you know my grandfather dreamed for the same thing as you and yet she dared to mock my grandfather at his funeral! I would have killed that witch if it weren't for one of her oblivious pets holding me down while she hit me. Besides who gave her permission to intrude into my personal life?! Why would she care that I fell in love with a vampire." The last question came out of my mouth without warning and i started feeling stupid for pouring my heart out in front of Zero.
"Can I go now?" I asked, teary eyed and more hurt than ever. He nodded his head and I ran out of the room, to the displeasure of my aching side.
Once in my room I threw the brown paper bag to the wall, hoping to feel a bit calmer by the action but it was all futile. I slid down the door hugging my knees and I started crying the tears I had been holding on. The ponytail I had put my hair into had been undone before I walked in through the gates and my black waist length locks were really getting on my nerves. I wiped my last tears with the palm of my hand and picked up the paper bag, pulling out the bottle of painkillers.
I walked into the bathroom and turned on the sink faucet swallowing a pill and drinking the water from my cupped hand. I stared at my reflection on the mirror taking in my features. I had porcelain pale skin, which grandfather had always said I took from my mother, onyx purple hair that I had taken from my father and full pink lips that attracted some of the boys from the day class.
I pulled out some silver scissors from the cabinet under the sink and grabbed a long lock of hair with the intent of cutting the long locks that disgraced my fathers memory of being a great hunter but then the sound of knocks disturbed me so I dropped the scissors and walked to the door.
I was expecting it to be a worried Yuuki or maybe Headmaster Cross, but instead I was met by Zero's emotionless facade that annoyed me to no end. The gap in my chest got worst and I actually thought the gods above were punishing me by displaying the person I wanted more than my own life.
"Are you okay?" he asked. I wanted to yell at him for asking such a stupid question because of course I wasn't okay!
"I'm perfectly fine." I lied. He looked at me like he wasn't sure if I was saying the truth and I couldn't help but speak my mind. "Zero…I want to know…why are you really pushing me away…because its- its breaking me and it hasn't even been one day!"
(A/N: Zero's perspective )
The guilt started rushing through me like a slap to the face, instead of helping her I was breaking her piece by piece. It was hard to look at her and realize what I had caused by that one lie, telling her I didn't love her when I'd gladly give my life for her to be happy. I closed the door to her room and pulled her into my arms, finally feeling complete.
But then couldn't help but feel the wrongness of the situation evidently there and i thought of what Yagari-Sensei had told me yesterday.
"Hey Zero, what are you doing walking out of my innocent students room?"He was smiling and then I realized what he was implying. I glared at him for even thinking I would do such a thing and he chuckled. "I'm just joking kid!"
He suddenly turned completely serious once he read my face and noted how bothered I was.
"Whats bothering you Zero?", he asked, all traces of laughter gone.I hesitated for a bit but I spoke what was on my mind nevertheless.
"I cant help but feel this...wrongness when I'm with Kira, like I'm doing something wrong that might come back and hurt her..."
"Kid its about time you realized your being selfish by staying with Yasuragi, and you need to start learning how to let go of things for your own good" There. That was all i needed to hear to know I was doing something stupid. So for her own sake I was going to let her go.
"Thanks Yagari-sensei"
"S'alright" I was going to walk off but he called me over again.
"Hey Zero, I can see the blood on your sleeve and i know its not yours.I am very fond of Jii-Sensei's granddaughter, try pulling off something like that again or anything funny as a matter of fact and I'll make sure you cant reproduce."
I shoved that memory to a deep corner in the back of my mind.
I cupped her beautiful face with my hands and kissed her. She was surprised but she kissed back enthusiastically. She gently parted her lips for air and I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss and the sound of her soft moan made me feel...strange, but a good kind of strange. I ended the kiss before I took it too far. She was panting softly and the sight of her swollen lips was evoking a strange feeling in me.
"W...why did you stop." she asked, a soft pink blush on her cheeks.
"It was going too far."She looked down at the floor while she fumbled with the hem of her dress."
I wouldn't of had minded" I could see the truthfulness of her words and i decided to amuse myself for a bit. I pushed her onto her bed and climbed on top of her.
"Really?" I asked feigning curiosity she nodded her head slowly. I pulled the zipper on her dress down a little, letting more of her porcelain skin show.
"Seriously?" She nodded her head and I brought my hand the the back of her leg making her dress ride up. I kissed her neck, on the same spot I had bitten her and she let out a small whimper. I was slowly starting to lose control and my hand rode up her leg more, touching the edge of her panties with the tips of my fingers.
"Z..Zero.." Her hands started pushing off my dark gray coat. I climbed off of her, with the softness of her skin lingering in my head. I turned to my side so I was face to face with her and she traced my jaw with her fingers. "When, when will you let it go further.." She asked.
I didn't answer her because I didn't know the answer myself. I touched her bruised cheek, the sign of a hand print and a small cut still on it, and she flinched.
"It still stings a little." She whispered. I nodded my head. I was about to ask her if she had any ointment for it when we heard a loud knock on the door. I pushed myself of her bed and opened the door, my hand gripping my Bloody Rose just in case but it was the chairman looking more serious than I'd ever seen him. "What's wrong headmaster?" asked Kira in a worried tone, her zipper pulled up the way it had been.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but there has been an attack! I need you both to come with me." He walked away fast with Kira and I both on his trail.
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms
into the sky,
You and I