Nightcrawler: *waves arms in air* Hello! And welcome to the Crapy X-men Abridged!

Rouge: Ya 'cuse we all know a video of this would be better…*folds arms*

Nightcrawler: But no, you have to use your 'mindseye'! To watch this one. Haha!

Now for our theme song! Which you have to use yours minds ears to hear!

Rouge: Just give them the link Nightcrawler!

Nightcrawler: ok, ok, jezz….fine here is the link, http:// www. youtube. com/watch?v=CsqZ8Sazdco&feature=related (just make sure to take out the spaces) *wink* but don't let the person know we are using there song. *whisper* they don't know so no rat'n us out ok? *normal big voice* Now with out further ado! Enjoy your crapy fanfic. ^_^ …BTW this video….has YOU in it! http:// www. youtube. com/watch? v=G4CF_bgxRi4 *points and laughs at Logan*

Wolverine: I'll kill you Elf! *chases Nightcrawler*

Jean: And now for the Disclaimer absolutely no part of this fanfic is in ownership to anyone but Marvel and maybe Disney. Enjoy!

X-Men Abridged Ep. 2

Down in a city far, far away.

"Weeee! Like I'm flying!!!" a young teenage girl later identified as Kitty was flying, in her dream…but just like all good dreams-she fell.

"AH!!!" Kitty felt the floor hit her back and her mom and dad ran in to see why the heck she was screaming.

"Kitty what the monkey sauce are you doing!?" her dad yelled running down to the basement.

"Like I fell out of bed."

"More like fell from the second floor!" he yelled looking up. There he saw Kitty's bedding…it was sucked into the ceiling.

"Something wrong with you isn't there?"

Morning time in the same far away city.

"Like got to sneak out before mom comes…"

"Hi hunny."

"Oh Crap…"

"Kitty where are you going?"

"Like-umm..I'm going to… get…ice cream…"

"Oh ok then bye."

Jet flying!!

"So this whole session is only about recruiting new mutants?" Jean asked.

"Well we do have a nifty encounter with Magneto." Xavier replied.

"Who's Magneto?"

…………long pause…………..

"What we talk'en 'bout?"

Jump to a part no one ever remembers

"!" a blond zoomed by on a bike. "Weeeeeeee I'm speed racer!"

Now on to the séance that has the motorcycle obsessed guy…huh, I mean…never mind-

"Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning my bike….ha look how shiny it is…I can see my face-oh ya I'm hot just like my bike." Logan said cleaning his motorcycle.

Suddenly Logan began to sniff the air, it was a hobby of his...at least it should be.

"Grr…Sabertooth!" *sniff* "I smell….Tacos….!!" Logan growled. He then looked down. "How the Monkey Sauce did I get on top of this house?!" he yelled.

Back to the place of the plot

Knocking on the door to the new mutant's house.

"Hi, my name is Pr-"

*slam!*

"Some how I can't help but feel this is your fault Jean."

Back to the Real plot….

"Ya like school is going to be awesome!"

*PUSH-SHOVE-SLAM!*

"Crap! Ah! Help I'm like trapped in my locker like some loser freshmen!!! HELP!"

Fifteen hours of banging later

"Spray painting is fun…is even more fun when its vandalizing public property."

*Magic Phasing*

"AH! I'm being attacked by the locker monster!-oh its just a girl."

"Holy Cow of Milk, I'm free!"

"Hi person I don't know but discover is a mutant and not some freak of nature, my name is Lance but I'm best known as Avalanche."

"Oh cool you like make snow fall in great amounts at a time?"

"Ummm…no…"

"Then like what is your power?"

"This!"

The ground shacks and the lockers fly open…..earthquakes must be common because no one seems to be running out of the class rooms freaking out.

"Woh! Your name should have been Rumble."

"So now that we know each others powers I will commence hitting on you…Hay baby, --*whatcha doing?" --- look in A/N if you don't get the reface.)

"My names Kitty…oh no I'm late for class"

Kitty leaves and Lance starts to talk to him self-really is that truly necessary?

Fan Service!

Logan suited up and became Wolverine, which is not a wolf in any way but people always compare him to a wolf. (don't believe me there is a pic in A/N)

Jumping on his bike playing a Power Rangers song-he zoomed off.

"Look Scott Logan is taking off in his uniform, do you think there is a mission ve are unavare of?"

"No, but lets follow him any ways, I'm bored. To the Car Shop!"

Kurt and Scott entered were all the cars were.

"Quick Kurt jump in the small red car."

*B.A.M.F.* which we all know is 'bad $$ mo-fu* you get the point.

"Is vhis your car Scott?"

"No, its just the only car Logan doesn't dive so he wont notice its missing….and if he dose I'll just blame you."

"Vackyum Scott."

Later in this same episode

"Ya like the long jump, I can so do this." Kitty cried happily.

Lance and a few of his buddy's that we never see again are on the roof of the school watching the girls PE team…………….perverts.

"Me first!" a girl cried pushing Kitty out of the way.

"Oh no you didn't just push my Kitty-Cat…I'm going to go 'Sand Storm' on you now!"

Sand shot up making the girl fall. "AH! I'm being attacked by sand!!"

"Did you see that? I did that for you my pretty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty….hay wait don't run away come back Kitty Kitty."

Kitty saw Lance knock the girl down with sand and ran away……

Running into the school theater, Kitty felt she was safe….after all no one goes into the school theater, that's way no one ever takes drama.

"Hi Kitty, I'm here to help you with your powers, my name is Jean."

"Oh Crap and the Nubs of the world! I hate seats!" Kitty yelled kicking a chair.

Back to the cool part of this episode that doesn't involve Kitty…

"Scott I don't see Logan."

"No, but I see his bike." Scott said pointing up.

"How the Hellz did he get it up there?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know! don't care! PROT!"

*bamf*

The bike crushed the red car both of them were once in.

"Holy Cheese on a Cracker that was close." Scott sighed.

Sabertooth grabbed a car and slammed it into Wolverine. "The Taco of Doom is mine!"

"Never!!!" Logan yelled trying to move the car off of him.

'Super man Heat Vision Ichba!!"

Sabertooth went flying as Scott hit him, then Kurt tried to head but his chest….

*Reflection!*

And failed…..

"It is clear I could kill all three of you-but I'd rather prolong it for another dozen episodes, so I'll be making my poor excuse for an escape and use the elevator." Sabertooth kicked the button on the door and made his Great Escape! While Wolverine ripped the steal door to shreds not caring about public property.

"Ssssooooooooo……what you fighting about?" Scott asked.

Logan stared at him. "I don't fight your battles so don't fight mine…" and walked away.

"What battles?" Kurt questioned, "we haven't had any battles to fight—and as a teacher you do fight our battles…." He would go on but Scott punched him as Wolverine gave him the death glare.

Back to the main reason for the episode…yes that's right…..Kitty….

"Hay Kitty Kitty Kitty…..I can help you with your powers…all you have to do is help me brake in and still all the schools answers so I can graduate and spend the rest of my life pretending I know stuff."

Kitty looked at Lance. "Even thou it is clear you are a liar and a cheat and a crook and a sex fend and a member of the brother hood who will never become good guys, I will still have a huge crush on you and date you in the next season and will help you in your quest before common séance kicks in and I change my mind about helping you because I am a dunce."

"Sweet!"

After every thing Kitty just said happens and the school falls down….

"Mom, Dad I'm sorry and I love you…but now I will be leaving with these people I don't know and become a full mutant just like grandma always wanted."

"What?" both ask.

"Ok let's go." Kitty, Jean, and the old man in the wheel chair leave.

**********

So….how am I doing? ^-^

*this is a line used by Joey off the TV show Friends.

(I personally love Wolverines here is a pick for any one who does not know what they are or at least look like. ---- http://en. Wikipedia. org/wiki/File:Gulo_gulo_ ***just take out spaces** ;)